National Album Day 2022

I really wasn’t sure whether I’d get this blog post up but I’d managed to write a good chunk of it and it seemed a shame to let it go unfinished. The last year has been a struggle and the last six months have been horrendous; my depression has been suffocating and has definitely impacted my ability to engage with and enjoy things. So there are fewer albums this year than there have been previously, fewer than I would’ve liked had all things been normal. I know the theme this year is debut albums but I’d already written a significant amount of this post before that was announced and, if I’m honest, I just don’t have it in me at the moment to completely rewrite this post. Life is hard right now; I’m doing the best I can.


At War With The Silver Fish by Laura Jane Grace (September 2021) – One of the things I love about Laura Jane Grace’s music is how deeply it can vary; I’m not very good at identifying genres but each track sounded so different, which was really cool, especially when it’s only about fourteen minutes long in total. Some of the instrumentation and production I didn’t like but the parts that I did, I loved: I loved the instrumentation of ‘Electro-Static Sweep’; I loved the beat and the guitar and the gorgeous, hazy vibe of ‘Lolo 13’; and I loved the production of ‘Yesterday Pt. II.’ I also really liked a lot of the lyrics too. The opening line of ‘Three of Hearts’ – “Three of hearts, two of them are broken / One of them is gold, all of them are worthless” – which is the opening line of the EP, got me straight away. ‘Lolo 13’ was probably my favourite lyrically: I loved the detail, the visual imagery, and the dreamlike quality of the whole thing, with lines like, “I asked for your name three times / Just to make sure that I heard it right / You told me my jeans don’t fit right / Said that we should make out sometime,” “We met on a night / That my mind made up,” and “Does a mirror have two sides? / Are you waking up in your real life / Too much fun to have in this life / Will you find me on the other side?” I loved it. On listening to ‘Day Old Coffee,’ I burst out laughing because while I wouldn’t have phrased it as such, I definitely identified with the feeling and it was just kind of bizarre to hear that feeling stated so explicitly: “Day old coffee microwaved to boiling / Pour it on my eyeballs and boil my dumb shit brains out,” “‘Cause I don’t ever want to hear or think or speak again / I don’t ever want to hear or think or speak again,” and “What’s with all the questions? / To whom do I owe the pleasure? / To whom do I owe the obligation?” Like, it’s not a fun or funny feeling to experience but hearing it out loud shocked a laugh out of me. I kind of wish ‘Smug Fuckface’ had a different title since the song starts on such a different emotional note, which would make the twist halfway through that much more surprising. It’s a really interesting little song: it’s less than two minutes long but it covers such a rollercoaster of emotions and thoughts. It’s a really cool little EP and I look forward to whatever Laura Jane Grace creates next.

Favourite Tracks: ‘Lolo 13’ and ‘Smug Fuckface.’

It’s Hard To Be Human by Kina Grannis (October 2021) – I’ve been listening to Kina Grannis on and off since approximately 2011 and some of her songs, particularly ‘California,’ have had pretty dramatic impacts on my life so I was very excited to find out that she was releasing a new album and one with a title that felt very fitting for my state of mind at the time (and quite a long time afterwards). Sometimes, if I haven’t listened to her music for a while, I seem to forget just how deeply her music affects me. She’s an incredible writer; I have no idea how she isn’t more famous, isn’t a superstar (one of her own design though, not one molded by others). I loved almost every single song on the album.

I’d heard Future Memories before hearing the album and it’s so beautiful with the delicate guitar and vocal. The lyrics are just so heartbreaking (“We watch the leaves unfolding quietly / No tugging at the time or way of things / And we mirror both the growth and withering”) and the evolution of the story throughout the song (from “We’re in the garden smiling / I didn’t notice how much love I’ve known” to “We’re in the garden laughing / I didn’t notice how much you had grown” to “He’s in the garden crying / I didn’t notice yet that I had gone”) is so beautifully done.

‘It’s Hard To Be Human’ is one of my favourite tracks on the album. It’s sad but also warm and comforting and I know I’ll listen to this in the future while in tears, for both good and bad reasons. The lyrics are stunning (“We just keep spinnin’ and everyone’s hurt / Both of us talking but no one feels heard,” “It’s hard to be human and hard to grow up / I just keep trying and keep messin’ up / And maybe I’m learnin’ and findin’ my way / But how could I feel this and still be okay?” and “I’m sittin’ here, starin’ at the gutter / Wonderin’ why I feel sorry for myself / If we keep hurtin’ one another starts to color / How we’re doin’ it to ourselves”) and I loved her description of spontaneous songwriting: “Can you pull the car over? I need to slow down / Get some words lined up and see how they sound.” It’s so real and raw. The structure of the song is interesting; what sounds like a prechorus when first sung repeats as the final section of the song. It’s so beautiful and feels so profound: “I know you never wanna get me down / But it’s a steep road I’m walkin’ on / You know I never wanna get you down / But it’s a bit late, now.” It’s the promise we make to people we love but not everyone can keep it.

Another stunning song is ‘Love Anyway.’ The lyrics were just gorgeous; they flowed beautifully and all of the internal rhyming made me so happy (what can I say – I’m a songwriting nerd). I loved all of the imagery: “I woke to a bitter scene / The whole world was crumblin’ / I cried to the guileless moon / The wolves came to comfort me / And just as I fell asleep / I heard they were crying too,” “As dewdrops and morning fell / The sun came and wished me well,” “I sat in the broken weeds / And wove them into tapestries,” and “Feeling that we are all the same / All of one heartbeat, different names.” And the bridge is just stunning: the lyrics build beautifully (from “How do we get to the other side of this?” to “How do we get through the fight in it?” to “How do we get to the light in it?”), as do the vocals and harmonies, making it a deeply emotional and uplifting section. The only snag for me is that I find the chorus line a little cliché, something that’s just a bit more noticeable when the rest of the lyrics are so well crafted.

While ‘Quiet’ didn’t connect with me as deeply as some of the others, I thought it built beautifully and powerfully (in the emotional sense) throughout the song and I loved the mention to her album, Stairwells: “I never knew where I belonged / Searched for myself in every song / But I’d had it in the stairwells all along.” I thought that was gorgeous.

‘I Never Wanted Anything More Than I Wanted You’ broke my heart on first listen. The lyrics were so emotional and I immediately thought it was about wanting a baby, something (as well as infertility, IVF, and more recently the birth of her daughter) that Kina has talked about on social media over the years. When I looked it up later, Genius stated: “Kina Grannis and her husband Jesse Epstein have been open about their fertility struggles and their miscarriage in the past, and “I Never Wanted Anything More Than I Wanted You” is about the couple’s miscarriage of their dearly anticipated daughter. The song details Kina’s struggles with the loss, her tiredness from the grief, and the couple’s dreams of a family.” And, in the description of the music video, Kina wrote: “The first time these words came out of my mouth I immediately started crying. There’s something powerful that happens when you admit to yourself out loud the extent to which you are yearning for something, the extent to which you are hurting. It can break your heart into a million little pieces, but somehow that’s better than the pressure cooker of trying to dismiss your emotions and make them smaller. Acknowledging and respecting where I was at allowed me to fully step into my heartache and give myself permission to feel all these things, and in some ways it was a first step in realizing I needed to be a bit kinder to myself, too. This is a song about yearning and loss and the delicate balance of trying to accept the path you’re on while not letting it rob you of hope in the process.” That only made it more heartbreaking. It’s a beautiful, beautiful song but it’s just so sad; I hate to think of her feeling the way the song describes. I could probably include all of the lyrics but the ones that hit me the hardest were “I’m at my lowest, caught in a moment / Tryna to get over this,” “I feel you in the sea, washing over me / Something in the movin’ tides / Every fallen leaf seems to say to me / ‘Everything in time,'” and the chorus line of “I never wanted anything more than I wanted you” just, as I said, breaks my heart. The piano part is gorgeous too and fits the song perfectly.

‘Oh What A Love’ is a gorgeous little love song. It has some really stunning imagery (my favourite is “Oh what a love we have / Watched as it sank under water”) and some beautifully simple statements that, to me at least, make love songs all the more poignant, like “Our love is our love.” It sounds lovely too, with some exquisite layering of instruments, vocals, and backing vocals.

While the choruses of ‘Crawl’ didn’t quite land for me, I love what Kina has written about it: “This song is about the chapter that comes after the knockdown – the chapter where you start to come to again, and though you’re weak and hollowed out and broken, you’re ready to start trying to put the pieces back together. To me, it feels like the beginning of healing. Or maybe the beginning of being WILLING to heal. It’s about baby steps and celebrating the small wins and giving yourself grace on the occasions you might momentarily stumble back into the dark. ‘Crawl’ found its way to me in a dire moment and served as a little mantra I could sing to myself as I ever-so-slowly trudged my way back to myself.” I can definitely relate to that sentiment. To all of it. Of the song itself, I really loved the verses: I thought the lyrics, and the imagery in them, were just beautiful. The first verse in particular resonated so deeply: “Knock on the door / I’m afraid of all the things / That I am not anymore” and “Just like before / I am scattered trying to find the parts of me / On the floor.” And the second verse was just as gorgeous: “You and the stars / Make a list of pretty things to fill my day / Bless your heart” and “You deal the cards / And it’s better when I seem to drift away / From the dark.”

‘Another Way’ is another of the album highlights, along with ‘It’s Hard To Be Human,’ ‘Love Anyway,’ and ‘I Never Wanted Anything More Than I Wanted You.’ And like ‘It’s Hard To Be Human,’ it has a deep and moving message, one that’s easy to forget in the chaotic world we’re trying to navigate: “Maybe this could be / Exactly what should be.” The lyrics in the verses are simple but powerful, demonstrating how we can turn our obsessive worrying on its head: “How would you know if what you’re needing / Isn’t something you’re not seeing / What if you lost the chance to be what you could be,” “How would you know that something better / Wasn’t waiting for bad weather / To soak its seeds, to give you everything you need,” and “How would you know if someone wiser / Wasn’t forging in these fires / What if you’d washed away what could’ve set you free.” I’m not sure how well they translate on paper (or simply as text) but, paired with the melody, the song is really beautiful. And I liked that the bridge wasn’t preach-y. Rather than trying to tell the listener how to change their thinking, she’s simply and gently opening the door to the possibility that we don’t have to worry the way we do. That’s the first step: “So what if we choose that we’ll let go of / All the things we’ve no control of / What if we learn to love whatever comes to be.” It’s a gorgeous song, another gorgeous song on a gorgeous album.

This has gotten long but it’s a beautiful album and I highly recommend it.

Favourite Tracks: ‘It’s Hard To Be Human,’ ‘Love Anyway,’ ‘I Never Wanted Anything More Than I Wanted You,’ ‘Oh What A Love, ‘ ‘Crawl,’ and ‘Another Way.’

Season Two by Jaz Beeson (October 2021) – There’s something gorgeously cohesive about this body of work, sonically and lyrically, with its lively production, catchy melodies, and light, delicate vocals. I thought ‘Short, Sweet Summer’ was a cool introduction to the project, hazy and atmospheric (although a bit sonically busy for my personal taste). I liked the concept, as well as the concepts of ‘Midnight Crush’ and ‘Honey & Sunflower Seeds’ (although the bridge made me sad) in particular. There was a lot of stunning imagery and beautiful lyrical details, especially in ‘Honey & Sunflower Seeds,’ ‘Feel Alive,’ ‘Coffee Machine Sounds’ (I loved the sense of urgency in this song, conveyed both through the lyrics and the production), and ‘Wanna Know.’ I also really liked the melodic rhythms and uplifting vibe in the latter. It was a really great choice for a single. The one thing that I struggled with it, throughout the tracklist, was that I wish the vocals were a little higher in the mix because I felt like I was missing the lyrics at certain points, which was a shame when I was enjoying the lyrics so much.

Favourite Tracks: ‘Short, Sweet Summer,’ ‘Wanna Know,’ and ‘Coffee Machine Sounds.’

Red (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift (November 2021) – After my experience with Fearless (Taylor’s Version), I was prepared to feel somewhat thrown by the differences between the original tracks and rerecordings and thrown I was: the drum and electric guitar sounds in ‘State Of Grace (Taylor’s Version)’; the electric guitar in ‘I Knew You Were Trouble (Taylor’s Version)’; the electric guitar sounds in ‘All Too Well (Taylor’s Version)’; the guitars and vocal effects in ’22 (Taylor’s Version)’; the chorus vocals in ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together (Taylor’s Version)’; the messiness of the dueting vocals in ‘The Last Time (Taylor’s Version) [feat. Gary Lightbody]’ (and while their vocals aren’t bad, I’d rank them lowest on the album when they were some of my favourites on the original album); the vocal effects in ‘Begin Again (Taylor’s Version)’; oh, and the complete re-production of ‘Girl At Home (Taylor’s Version)’ surprised me (sometimes I think I’m the only person who likes the original production). I don’t dislike it but as fun as it is, I think I preferred the original. Not a hill I feel the need to die on though; both are good.

That’s not to say that they don’t sound good; I just felt like the changes were very noticeable. ‘Red (Taylor’s Version)’, ‘All Too Well (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘I Almost Do (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘Sad Beautiful Tragic (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘The Moment I Knew (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘State Of Grace (Acoustic Version) (Taylor’s Version),’ and ‘Ronan (Taylor’s Version)’ all sound incredible, particularly the vocals. And I feel like the backing vocals are even more gorgeous on this version of the album than the original. But then Taylor’s vocals have come a long way over the last ten years.

The vault tracks – almost a whole new album’s worth of songs – are awesome. They fill out the story and provide so much more insight into the relationship and the situation, even more than I thought possible, especially given how incredibly raw the original album felt. The themes of the album are reinforced, the imagery more vivid, the details of the story even more heartbreaking with the new context: the songs are all so intricately interwoven. ‘Better Man (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)’ is really powerful (although I did find the melody changes a bit jarring) and it’s so cool to have Taylor’s version of it. ‘Nothing New (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) [feat. Phoebe Bridgers]’ is stunning but heart-wrenching: I definitely relate, both in terms of growing up and in terms of the music industry. It breaks my heart that Taylor was feeling like this at twenty two and as beautiful as the song is, I am personally kind of glad that it wasn’t released on the original album because knowing Taylor was feeling that way would’ve been devastating; I found ‘The Lucky One’ upsetting enough as it was. It’s not so bad hearing it now, given that Taylor seems to be in a hugely creative and positive place in her life, despite everything that’s happened. I am glad that we finally have a female-female duet, especially one that’s making such an important point about what it’s like to be a woman in the music industry. I’ve always loved ‘Babe’ so it’s really cool to hear Taylor’s version of it and the “What about your promises, promises, babe?” backing vocal is an interesting addition that distinguishes it from the original release. ‘Message In A Bottle (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)’ is really fun but I definitely think Taylor made the right choice when she chose the three Martin/Shellback collaborations; I just think those three are tighter and convey the themes of the album better. ‘I Bet You Think About Me (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) [feat. Chris Stapleton]’ cracks me up; when I first heard the lyric, “I bet you think about me in your house / With your organic shoes and your million-dollar couch,” sung with such petulance, I burst out laughing. While I tend to prefer the sadder songs, I think it’s a brilliantly petty response to a relationship where her partner clearly belittled her and thought himself superior. And the music video is hilarious. ‘Forever Winter (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)’ is probably my least favourite vault track, I think because the contrast between the serious subject matter and the upbeat music just doesn’t work for me. I think it’s lovely in how heartfelt it is but I don’t think it’s as lyrically sophisticated as most of the other songs on the album and in the Red vault. I really liked ‘Run (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) [feat. Ed Sheeran]’ and it’s my favourite of Taylor’s collaborations with Ed Sheeran (although I can understand why she chose ‘Everything Has Changed’ for the original album); I love how delicate it sounds. ‘The Very First Night (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)’ wasn’t a favourite initially but it’s grown on me over time. While the chorus feels a little clichéd in places, I love the imagery and detail in the verses and pre-choruses, plus the melodies are super catchy.

And then we have ‘All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault).’ I don’t think I can describe my thoughts and feelings about it any better than I did in my 2021 in Songs post: “I could talk about this song forever but I’ll try to be concise. The lyrics are beautiful, some of her best, and they tell us so much more of the story than the original cut. It connects to so many songs on the album, even more than it did before, and really broadens our understanding of both that time and what came after. I also love how naturally it flows through different phases of emotion (the fondness, the longing, the loss, the confusion, the shame, the anger, the pain, the invalidation, the grief…) without losing its way. And I think part of why it means so much to me (apart from my original attachment to the song and the album) is because of how, emotionally, it mirrors an experience I had. Lyrics like “And I was thinking on the drive down, any time now / He’s gonna say it’s love, you never called it what it was / ‘Til we were dead and gone and buried / Check the pulse and come back swearing it’s the same,” “You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath,” “You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine / And that made me want to die / The idea you had of me, who was she? / A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you,” and “Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it / I’d like to be my old self again, but I’m still trying to find it” all bring back memories of that person and that time and while it was heartbreaking and traumatic, it is part of who I am. I think being able to pour all of that emotion into a song – and a song that good – is an incredible feat.”

Something that I love about getting vault tracks with each album rerecorded is that, while the rerecording of the albums allow her to retake the masters, the vault tracks – with their new details, new layers, new perspectives – allow her to retake the narrative. Every album tells a story and she’s making that story her own again.

Favourite Tracks: ‘Red (Taylor’s Version)’, ‘I Knew You Were Trouble (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘All Too Well (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘I Almost Do (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘Sad Beautiful Tragic (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘Starlight (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘The Moment I Knew (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘Ronan (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘Better Man (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault),’ ‘Nothing New (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) [feat. Phoebe Bridgers],’ ‘Babe (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault),’ ‘Run (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) [feat. Ed Sheeran],’ ‘The Very First Night (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault),’ and ‘All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault).’

Thrive by Cassadee Pope (October 2021) – I get so nostalgic when I listen to Cassadee Pope. I remember being sixteen and listening to ‘Candles’ and anxiously awaiting her solo EP a year later when it was delayed for release on iTunes by a few days. I remember combing YouTube for videos during her pre-Frame by Frame tour and falling in love with ‘I Wish I Could Break Your Heart,’ ‘This Car,’ and ‘Easier to Lie,’ in particular. I remember hearing Emily Shackelton performing ‘Summer’ at Tin Pan South, the first year I visited Nashville, and then being so excited when I heard Cassadee would be releasing it… Looking back, I’m kind of amazed at how long I’ve been listening to her. There aren’t many artists that I’ve listened to so consistently for so long. There’s something so fundamentally her about her music; I’d recognise a song of hers from the moment she started singing. I love her sound: a unique mix of pop, pop-rock, and country (I believe she was quoted as saying “this pop-punk country record that has country lyrics and storylines, but leans a little bit more pop-rock, pop-punk when it comes to sonically and melodies”). And I love the production: the guitar sounds are gorgeous and her vocals are stunning as always (apart from ‘No Now,’ which sounded a bit strained but the vocal recording sounded different from the others so maybe the recording process was different for that song). The album is full of great songs: ‘Same Old Brand New Me’ and ‘Thrive’ are awesome and empowering; songs like ‘Say It First,’ ‘Break Too,’ and ‘No Now’ are so sad but so real; and songs like ‘Some People’ have that classic Cassadee sass.

Favourite Tracks: ‘Welcome,’ ‘Same Old Brand New Me,’ ‘Say It First,’ ‘Break Too,’ ‘Thrive,’ ‘Some People,’ ‘Remedy,’ and ‘No Now.’

10 Year Plan by The Shires (March 2022) – There’s a lot I like about this album: the melodies are great, they’re great vocalists, and some of the songs have some lovely concepts that play out beautifully (‘Side By Side,’ ’10 Year Plan,’ and ‘A Bar Without You,’ for example). I also really liked the production in a lot of the songs, like ‘I See Stars’ and ‘A Bar Without You’ (although the latter doesn’t feel very country); it felt really full and rich. Having said that, Ben and Crissie didn’t sound as consistently gorgeous as they usually do. In songs like ‘Cut Me Loose,’ ‘Sparks Fly,’ ‘I See Stars,’ and ‘When It Hurts,’ they sound great, separately and together (one of my favourite things about them is how great they sound together), there were other songs where I just felt like they didn’t sound like themselves at all. In ‘Plot Twist,’ Crissie doesn’t sound like herself and in ’10 Year Plan,’ Ben doesn’t sound like himself either. I believe they said the album was recorded remotely and I wonder if that’s the cause since I’ve never felt tripped up by their sound before.

I think the inclusion of ‘Peggy I’m Sorry (Demo)’ is really interesting because the style of the songwriting is so different to how they usually write. Over the last few albums, I’ve struggled with many of the songs feeling somewhat vague, like they could be about anyone; they just don’t feel real to me and so I find it hard to feel invested in the songs and the stories they’re telling. They sound great but the emotional attachment isn’t the same as it is with writers/artists like Taylor Swift and Maren Morris, for example. I think this song (and certain other songs from previous albums like ‘Nashville Grey Skies,’ ‘Made in England,’ and ‘Daddy’s Little Girl’) is an example that they could write more specifically and personally with the same (and possibly more) success. I’ve just been finding the typical love songs and clichés a bit tiring when they’ve already proved that they’re capable of more – of more depth – than that.

Overall though, while I have mixed feelings about this album, I do like it more than the last one.

Favourite Tracks: ‘Cut Me Loose,’ ‘Side by Side,’ ’10 Year Plan,’ ‘A Bar Without You,’ ‘Peggy I’m Sorry (Demo),’ and ‘When It Hurts.’

Humble Quest by Maren Morris (March 2022) – I was a little unsure about this album since the first single, ‘Circles Around This Town,’ took a while to grow on me but from my first listen-through, I loved it. I loved that you can hear ‘echoes’ of Hero and Girl but there’s also a new sound that’s unique to this new album; it felt like the growth was very organic and very authentic. ‘Circles Around This Town’ felt like the perfect first single and first track on the album, reflecting on the past, building on it with the present, and looking to the future with lyrics like “I still got the pedal down” and “I still get lost, I still get found.” It just felt really fitting. Her vocals are as gorgeous as always (‘Background Music’ and ‘Nervous’ stood out in particular) and there are some absolutely stunning lyrics (‘Humble Quest,’ ‘Background Music,’ and ‘What Would This World Do?’ jump out at me but most of the songs have at least one pure gold lyric) – sometimes I think they get overlooked because she has such an incredible voice. And something that instantly jumped out at me was that there was more of her signature wit and sass than there was on Girl, in general but specifically in songs like ‘I Can’t Love You Anymore’ and ‘Tall Guys.’ I also feel like some of her cowrites are quite recognisable at this point. Like, I just knew ‘Nervous’ was a Natalie Hemby cowrite, with it’s wordplay and melodic rhythms and it didn’t surprise me at all to learn that ‘Tall Guys’ and ‘Good Friends’ were too; their songs just sound like their songs. That’s not a bad thing; it’s just something that I felt like I could actually put my finger on now that we’ve reached album three.

‘Humble Quest’ is easily my favourite song and it was from the moment I heard it. The lyrics are just gorgeous and so real and relatable; I really, really felt it. Lyrics like “Haven’t looked up in a while / Been biting my tongue behind a smile,” “Just kept hitting my head on the glass / I was so nice till I woke up / I was polite till I spoke up,” “I’m on a humble quest / And damn I do my best / Not gonna hold my breath / ‘Cause I still haven’t found it yet,” and “Standing up was enough of a battle / How do I not cast a shadow? / I’m a hell of a hassle” all resonated so deeply. And I like that it doesn’t resolve – “I still haven’t found it yet” – because I’m not sure it’s something we ever definitively find. We get closer (hopefully) to figuring our shit out but I don’t think we ever completely get there and there’s something comforting about hearing that, about being reminded of that. Maren sounds incredible and the arrangement is just gorgeous; I love a lot of her songs but this one might just take the cake.

Favourite Tracks: ‘Circles Around This Town,’ ‘Humble Quest,’ ‘Nervous,’ ‘Tall Guys,’ ‘Good Friends,’ and ‘What Would This World Do?’

hopeless fountain kingdom (Live From Webster Hall) by Halsey (June 2022) – hopeless fountain kingdom might be my least favourite Halsey album (because one of the four has to come in fourth) but I was so excited for this album; the studio version was a grower rather than love-at-first-listen and it was the tour that really had me falling in love with it. So getting to hear the songs ‘live’ again is so special. Halsey’s vocals are incredible and I love the way she speaks or even shouts certain lines, like “I don’t let him touch me anymore” in ‘100 Letters,’ giving them even more power. And the strength of the crowd singing along is so special, especially when it’s just Halsey and the crowd; that sends shivers down my spine. I loved hearing the songs that Halsey never (or rarely) performed live and I thought that this version of ‘Lie’ with the bridge of ‘Without Me’ was so cool.

As I said when writing about the Badlands live album, it’s hard to differentiate between my favourite songs on the original album and my favourite tracks on the live album because they’re not necessarily the same but I’ve tried to pick my favourites based on the performances rather than the writing…

Favourite Tracks: ‘The Prologue,’ ‘100 Letters,’ ‘Eyes Closed,’ ‘Heaven In Hiding,’ ‘Leave It On The Floor – Talking Break,’ ‘Sorry,’ ‘Lie,’ ‘Walls Could Talk,’ ‘Bad At Love,’ ‘A Cry That You Answered – Talking Break,’ ‘Strangers,’ ‘Angel On Fire,’ ‘Devil In Me’ (I think this one was my favourite performance of all), and ‘Hopeless.’

Good Person by Ingrid Andress (August 2022) – I loved Ingrid’s first album, Lady Like, so I was very excited to hear her second. I was actually lucky enough to be invited to the listening session in London a few months before it came out, which was a really special experience. So I had heard a few of the songs before I sat down to listen to the album but it was still mostly a new experience, whereas, with Lady Like, I’d heard almost the whole album before it came out.

This album has a stronger pop slant than the previous album, especially when it comes to the production; it’s gorgeous and atmospheric and really suits her voice and her songs. Thinking about production choices, I particularly loved ‘Good Person,’ ‘Seeing Someone Else,’ ‘Talk,’ ‘No Choice,’ and ‘Pain.’ The imagery in her songwriting is still very emotive and powerful, reminiscent of the strengths of ‘More Hearts Than Mine. Her use of imagery throughout the album is beautiful and it was something that struck me right from the first listen. The other thing that struck me was how, even with only two albums, the ‘Ingrid-isms’ are already becoming clear, from the twist in ‘Seeing Someone Else,’ to the sassy repetition of “How honest do you want me to be?” to little twists in her lyrics. Her writing is recognisably hers.

Something I’ve noticed a lot recently is the lack of bridges (or middle eights, if that’s what you know them as) in songs and I think that’s really sad. They can really elevate a song, bringing it to a whole new level, which I think was proven by the songs that did have bridges, like ‘Yearbook,’ ‘No Choice’ and ‘Blue.’ That’s not to say that the songs without bridges are bad because they’re not; I just think it’s worth noting how great the songs with bridges are and how the bridges add to those songs.

My top three songs are unquestionably ‘Blue’ (I’ve been waiting for her to release this song since she performed it on tour pre-Lade Like), ‘Things That Haven’t Happened Yet’ (this song was probably the most relatable to me, although I would’ve ended it differently), and ‘Seeing Someone Else.’ To give you a sneak peak of my 2022 in Songs post, here’s what I wrote about the latter: “From the moment the first chorus came in and the twist in the narrative was revealed, I just loved this song because having someone you love fall in love with someone else is horrible and sad but having someone you love love the person that you used to be but aren’t anymore is so heartbreaking. And a less common theme found in songs. I loved the storytelling, I loved the vocals, I loved the production. I do wish it had a bridge though; I think it could’ve gone in a couple of different, really interesting directions that would’ve added another layer to the song.”

Lady Like will always have a special place in my heart but this is also a very special album.

Favourite Tracks: ‘Seeing Someone Else,’ ‘How Honest Do You Want Me To Be?’ ‘No Choice,’ ‘Blue,’ and ‘Things That Haven’t Happened Yet.’


One of the hardest parts of the last few months has been my inability to enjoy anything, to enjoy music. I hope that that will change soon.

My First Concert Since The Pandemic Began

One of the big things I’ve missed during the pandemic is concerts. They’ve always been a big part of every year and losing that – I haven’t been to a concert since Halsey’s Manic Tour in March 2020 – has been really hard. But it’s also hard to feel like they’re safe to go to, now that they’re happening again. I still have a lot of anxiety about going out and about being around a lot of people – it’s not as if COVID is no longer a risk – so going to a concert is a big deal. But normal life does have to resume at some point, even if it happens in baby steps. Since this first show – The Shires in Bromley – was a relatively small concert, it felt like a good one to try, to get the lay of the land in terms of safety precautions, to see how I feel in that sort of environment after everything that’s happened over the last eighteen months, and so on.


This wasn’t quite my first live music event: back in September, I went to my uni’s Songwriters’ Circle, the first one in person since before the pandemic. It was just wonderful. Everyone was so excited to be back together, so excited to get to hang out together, singing along at the top of our lungs. That is one of my favourite things about going to a music uni: everyone’s always up for a sing along.

But this doesn’t feel like a first concert to me, since I’ve been in and out of the building for the last couple of months as I finished my final Masters project. It was just some more people and music. Plus, I’m really comfortable with the safety precautions there: negative COVID tests to get in, a one way system around the building, lots of people still wearing masks even though they aren’t mandatory, and so on. I already feel safe there. But a concert is an entirely new ball game.

My first proper concert was The Shires at the Churchill Theatre in Bromley on the 5th October. It wasn’t a venue I’d been to before and road closures made getting there quite stressful, plus it was a pretty bad pain day: my back, my shoulder, and my wrists and hands. So while I knew I would enjoy the show itself, I wasn’t sure whether the stress and the pain would override that. Fortunately getting in was quick and easy and I didn’t have to spend too long on my feet. And although no one had to wear a mask once seated, negative COVID tests were required for entry so it felt as safe as it can, as anything can be at the moment.

Jake Morrell was the support act and he was great: he was funny and personable and had some good songs. My favourite was ‘This House,’ I think. And I liked ‘Freewheeling.’ I definitely want to check out more of his music.

And then The Shires – Ben and Crissie and some of their band – were on. It was so nice to see them; I’ve seen them so many times over the years and the eighteen months since the pandemic began may be the longest I’ve gone without seeing them. So, as I said in my Instagram post, it felt quite apt that my first proper concert back was them. It was a cool twist on their normal shows: it was all acoustic (being in the front row, it did feel a bit like my own personal concert) and they took the opportunity to play a lot of the songs that they don’t play often or haven’t played for years, like ‘All Over Again,’ ‘Drive’ (one of my favourites), and ‘World Without You.’ Of course they played the favourites too, like ‘Nashville Grey Skies,’ ‘State Lines,’ ‘Tonight,’ and ‘A Thousand Hallelujahs,’ which always get people singing along and dancing. Of their most recent album, Good Years, which they never got to tour due to the pandemic, they only played two songs and they happened to be my two favourites: ‘Lightning Strikes’ and ‘About Last Night.’ So that was cool. And they also played one of my all time favourites of theirs, ‘Daddy’s Little Girl.’ I connected to that song instantly – it being about the loss of a father and how, whatever else you are or end up being, the most important thing you’ll always be is his daughter – and it’s remained very special to me. I actually posted a short cover of it on Instagram years ago:

And to make a cool concert experience even better, they performed a couple of songs from their next album, that is apparently written and produced already so hopefully it won’t be long before we get to hear that. Of the two songs they played, I loved ‘Side by Side’ and I can’t wait to hear it again already. So that made the night extra special.

It was painful – as most things are right now – but it was a good night. It was so wonderful to be at a concert again; they really are my happy place, where I forget about the hard stuff (for the most part – I mean, you can’t exactly forget about physical pain when you’re in it). Hopefully things will continue to improve on the COVID front and concerts can, at some point, come back in full force. That’s the dream anyway.

I was hurting before we got home. I’d stayed sat down as much as possible to protect my knee but apparently my leg has a mind of its own because my foot kept tapping – and therefore flexing my knee – no matter how many times I forced myself to stop. And chronic pain and applause clearly don’t go well together so I think I might have to come up with an alternative for bad pain days (I’ve since found some suggestions here, or maybe the sign language version of clapping is the way to go). And the next morning, my whole body hurt and I was stiff and ache-y. My back and my hands were the worst and unfortunately my painkillers weren’t doing much more than taking the edge off. So that was a pretty unpleasant day but it was worth it.


So that was my first concert back. I honestly thought I’d find it more scary, more stressful – in the pandemic anxiety sense, that is. It was all a bit overwhelming for a moment going in but once we were in the auditorium and the show had started, somehow I forgot about COVID and my anxiety; I was just in the moment and completely absorbed by the music. That wasn’t something I’d expected and it was quite wonderful. All the anxiety, all of the precautions and planning… it was all so very worth it to have live music again.

What I Did In Lockdown – Part 3

So, on the 4th January, England went into another national lockdown and this list was once again revived. This one felt much more like the first lockdown than the second, where many schools, businesses, etc were still open. When schools and universities started to open, my course remained online (it was one of the courses that could function solely online and meant less people going back to the uni) so lockdown continued for me. My life has only just started to involve going out again – swimming, getting a haircut, (safely) seeing a few people – and that’s why I’ve kept this list going as long as I have…


  • Uploaded all of my assessment work for the Musical Language module.
  • Suggested a topic for Kalie Shorr’s podcast, which she used, and then mentioned me and my music during it, which meant a lot to me.
  • Followed the news about the riots at the Capitol building in Washington D.C.
  • Started building my family tree on AncestryDNA and learning about who my relatives are, especially on my father’s side. This included messaging with distant relatives (cousins multiple times removed, for example), which was a pretty surreal experience.
  • Listened to and fell in love with the bonus tracks from Taylor Swift’s evermore.
  • Started a new (very beautiful) subscription of Vitamin D supplement.
  • Had a socially distanced chat and exchange of Christmas presents with one of my best friends.
  • Had a bit of a reset therapy session: we caught up and then set some goals to work on.
  • Had multiple writing sessions with Richard.
  • Wrote and posted a blog post about the third semester of my Masters.
  • Tested out a new method of overcoming my Trichotillomania: using a strip of elastic to tie my hand to my portable desk, preventing my pulling hand from reaching my hair.
  • Finished my ADHD assessment and was diagnosed with ADHD, although it’s a complicated one as there is much overlap between Autism and ADHD.
  • Had a Netflix party with some friends where we watched How To Train Your Dragon.
  • Started my new university module, The Writer’s Voice (online, of course).
  • Binge-watched The Wilds.
  • Had a productive meeting with one of the careers team at my university.
  • Had multiple writing sessions with my friend and coursemate, Luce.
  • Watched and critiqued the first draft of the acoustic session videos.
  • Watched the film, How It Ends.
  • Watched the film, Ava.
  • Due to technical issues, my friend, Aislin, and I wrote a song using basically texts and a google doc; and not only that, it was a song we loved and felt really proud of, regardless of the circumstances.
  • Watched Joe Biden’s inauguration; I found it very inspiring and emotional.
  • Had a consultation with an Occupational Therapist (via phone) for the pain in my hands.
  • Continued with my therapy sessions.
  • Worked on a couple of songs with my friend and coursemate, Dan.
  • Got my AncestryDNA results back, which was really interesting in some ways and frustrating in others.
  • Had a long catch up call with one of my best friends.
  • Had my first session for a new mentoring programme.
  • Had a meltdown after an unexpected change with a university class and ended up missing the class entirely.
  • Watched the series, Tiny Pretty Things.
  • Had a COVID test.
  • Had my COVID test come back negative.
  • Had multiple sessions with my friend and coursemate, Anna.
  • Watched one of my best friends, Luce, do her second online show.
  • Finished the acoustic session videos.
  • Began Occupational Therapy for the pain in my hands.
  • Wrote a blog post about the first year without our dog, Lucky.
  • Wrote multiple songs by myself.
  • Started FAWM – February Album Writing Month, a challenge to write fourteen songs in twenty eight days.
  • Had a phone call with the Chronic Fatigue Service that proved to be not only unhelpful, but deeply troubling: we discovered that I’d never received the results of blood-work from two years ago that showed multiple (potentially dangerous) abnormalities that should’ve been investigated and he told me my case was too complicated for them, that they didn’t feel they could help me.
  • Ran into a friend that I haven’t seen for ages and we planned a call and (online) movie night.
  • Had an ECG: hypermobility can result in heart problems (in a small percentage of people) so I’ll have to have regular heart check ups.
  • Had a writing session with my friend and coursemate, Amy.
  • Continued to spread awareness of how ableist, offensive, and dangerous Sia’s film, Music, is.
  • Posted my blog post about the first year with our lovely dog, Lucky.
  • Watched the film, Peppermint.
  • Celebrated the beginning of Taylor Swift releasing her rerecorded albums, starting with ‘Love Story (Taylor’s Version).’
  • Wrote with my friend and coursemate, Harrison.
  • Watched the film, The Dig.
  • Had a long overdue movie night (in the middle of the day) and catch up with two of my best friends.
  • Posted two blog posts on the same day about Trichotillomania. (x) (x)
  • My Mum had her first COVID vaccination.
  • Had a difficult video call with one of my tutors about one of the Masters modules, in which I got very upset.
  • Watched Series 1 and 2 of The Bay.
  • My Mum trimmed my fringe for me.
  • Received the about-face makeup (by Halsey) I’d bought and tested it out; I particularly liked the matte lip product.
  • Rewatched Criminal Minds from start to finish.
  • Had several writing sessions with my new friend and coursemate, Phill.
  • Received the Chronic Fatigue Service’s post-session report before they sent it to my GP and corrected all of the errors in it (such as when I was diagnosed with ASD).
  • Watched the film, Taking Lives.
  • Rewatched all three seasons of Absentia.
  • Had another mentoring session, which was really thought-provoking and productive.
  • My university had a reading week so I didn’t have any classes.
  • Had a planning session with Richard after one of our writing sessions.
  • Found the new COVID-19 plan announced on the 22nd February thoroughly unclear and confusing.
  • Watched New Amsterdam Season 1.
  • Wrote several songs based on fictional stories and characters, which isn’t my writing comfort zone but was really fun.
  • Started watching Unforgotten Series 4; I’m ecstatic to have Nicola Walker on my screen again, especially playing such a great character, but given the end of the last series, I can’t help but worry that this will be the last.
  • Had multiple sessions with my friend and coursemate, Simon.
  • Watched the film, Escape From Pretoria.
  • Completed FAWM (February Album Writing Month), actually writing 14 songs in less than 28 days.
  • Had a socially distanced catch up with one of my oldest and best friends.
  • Had a second COVID test.
  • Did several Autism research studies (from home, of course).
  • Dyed my hair.
  • Had a writing session with my friend and coursemate, Joy.
  • One of my best friends, Richard Marc, released his debut single, ‘Put It In A Postcard,’ which I helped write.
  • Had my COVID test come back negative.
  • Learned that my ECG had come back clear.
  • Had official confirmation that I’ve been diagnosed with Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.
  • Had a meeting with uni staff to discuss the options around the process of changing my antidepressants in order to take medication for my ADHD.
  • Watched New Amsterdam Season 2.
  • Met a potential DSA mentor (it didn’t work out).
  • Was unexpectedly triggered during a seminar and got extremely upset, although I was somehow able to pull myself together enough to manage the class.
  • Bought tickets for me and my family to see Tim Minchin when he (hopefully) tours the UK at the end of the year.
  • Announced the Honest EP (Sunburst Sessions).
  • Fell down the stairs but fortunately wasn’t too badly banged up.
  • Sweep had to go to the vet because she seemed to be having trouble moving around comfortably but the vet wasn’t worried and thought she’d probably been knocked around in all the wind we’ve been having and has given her some painkillers. We also asked if she had any guesses as to what breed Sweep is since we have no idea and her guess is Long Haired Domestic Cat with potentially some Norwegian Forest Cat, so that’s what we’re going with unless we decide to do one of those pet DNA tests.
  • Had a good catch up call with one of my oldest friends.
  • Caught up with The Grammys, celebrated Taylor Swift’s folklore winning Album of the Year, and cried over all of the acceptance speeches.
  • Watched The One (Season 1).
  • Had a particularly good response in class to one of my songs, which is one of my favourite songs I’ve written recently.
  • Had a really productive meeting with my course leader about my Masters final project.
  • Had an upsetting and thoroughly unhelpful appointment with a specialist I’d been referred to.
  • Had another set of blood tests – I’ve completely forgotten what they’re for or who requested them with so many people involved right now but they might give us more insight into my fatigue.
  • Posted the first of the Honest EP acoustic sessions, ‘Bad Night (Sunburst Sessions)’.
  • Learned about Travis Meadows’ surgery, donated to the gofundme, and shared the link.
  • Watched one of my best friends, Luce, do an awesome online show.
  • Posted my blog post about being diagnosed with ADHD.
  • Watched Creating The Queen’s Gambit, which just made me want to watch the show again.
  • Joined the judging panel for a songwriting competition.
  • Screeched at the penultimate episode of Unforgotten Series 4.
  • After a really fascinating seminar on Jungian archetypes, I spent hours reading more about them.
  • Suddenly found out quite a lot about my Dad’s side of the family, which was amazing but pretty overwhelming.
  • Had another meeting with one of the tutors to fine tune the approach to my Masters final project.
  • Did an interview with an Autism publication.
  • Attended Betsy Lane’s Zoom party to celebrate her (awesome) new single, ‘Plan For Paris.’
  • Rewrote my professional bio, or attempted to at least.
  • Had a long phone call with one of my best friends, which I think I really needed (plus she said something to me that may be the most special and important thing anyone has ever said to me).
  • Worked on multiple blog posts for World Autism Awareness Week 2021.
  • Had an excited little freak out about Lexie Grey (played by Chyler Leigh) appearing in Grey’s Anatomy again, even though I’m not watching the show at the moment (I just can’t manage living the pandemic and watching entertainment about it – but I loved Lexie so I look forward to watching it one day).
  • Worked with Richard on my next release.
  • I posted the second video in my acoustic session series, ‘Clarity (Sunburst Sessions).’
  • Had a lovely, long call with one of my best friends.
  • Received a late Christmas gift from one of my parents: a vinyl of the Honest EP!
  • Got a very sweet comment from Natalie Hemby (one of my favourite songwriters) on Instagram.
  • Wrote and submitted a research proposal for a conference.
  • Got my first COVID vaccine!
  • *SPOILER ALERT* Was deeply, deeply upset when Cassie died in the Unforgotten finale – I’m not sure I’ll ever feel the same way about the show and I don’t think I’ll be able to watch the next series.
  • Wrote a song about grief called ‘Incomplete,’ inspired by Unforgotten but informed by my own experience.
  • Had the initial meeting about the next and final module of the Masters, called The Major Repertoire Project.
  • Worked on a really special song with my friend and coursemate, Anna.
  • Went to a drop-in session (online) with my tutor to get some advice on my assessment work.
  • Posted the third video in my acoustic session series, ‘Sounds Like Hope (Sunburst Sessions).’
  • Had several video calls with my friend, Luce, where we worked on our songs for our assessment portfolios.
  • My Mum cut my fringe again. It was alarmingly short this time.
  • Put up a blog post for every day of Autism Awareness Week.
  • Had my last workshop of the semester, which felt quite emotional.
  • The research proposal that I submitted for the conference was accepted!
  • Celebrated Taylor Swift re-releasing her album Fearless as Fearless (Taylor’s Version).
  • Posted the fourth video in my acoustic session series, ‘Back To Life (Sunburst Sessions).’
  • Rewatched The Wilds while I worked on various things.
  • Started watching The Shires’ online concert but couldn’t finish it because of family commitments.
  • Got some really exciting news about a creative project I’ve been involved with (I can’t talk about it yet since it isn’t my project to announce).
  • Got a new fidget toy that also seems to be complimentary to my Occupational Therapy exercises.
  • Finished my marking for the songwriting competition.
  • Rewatched Dare Me while I was working on various tasks.
  • Met and had my first discussion with my Major Repertoire Project (the final module and project of the Masters) supervisor.
  • Posted the fifth and final video in my acoustic session series, ‘Honest (Sunburst Sessions).’
  • Ended up spending the day in A&E after three days with a migraine had my doctor concerned that I might be experiencing side effects from my COVID vaccine.
  • Dyed my hair again.
  • Finished my coursework for The Writer’s Voice module.
  • Worked on a song with my friend and coursemate, Alessandro, which incidentally meant that I’d written with every person in the group.
  • Submitted my coursework for The Writer’s Voice module.
  • Celebrated one of my parents’ birthdays.
  • Attended several (online) networking meetings organised by my university.
  • Rewatched Blood & Water (Series 1).
  • Upped my Occupational Therapy regimen.
  • Got a haircut for the first time in MONTHS. 
  • Had another migraine that lasted for several days.
  • Released the Honest EP (The Sunburst Sessions).
  • Had a very distressing and unhelpful follow up appointment (by phone) with a rheumatologist (different from the original one).
  • Hit a stumbling block in getting treatment for my ADHD.

As I said in the last part of this list, hopefully there won’t be reason to continue this post; hopefully there won’t be any more lockdowns. But I guess only time will tell. I’ve found it strangely comforting to keep this list; it’s kind of like a time capsule for these strange periods of time, if that makes sense.

I hope you’re all keeping safe and well and I’ll see you in the next post.