What I Did In Lockdown – Part 3

So, on the 4th January, England went into another national lockdown and this list was once again revived. This one felt much more like the first lockdown than the second, where many schools, businesses, etc were still open. When schools and universities started to open, my course remained online (it was one of the courses that could function solely online and meant less people going back to the uni) so lockdown continued for me. My life has only just started to involve going out again – swimming, getting a haircut, (safely) seeing a few people – and that’s why I’ve kept this list going as long as I have…


  • Uploaded all of my assessment work for the Musical Language module.
  • Suggested a topic for Kalie Shorr’s podcast, which she used, and then mentioned me and my music during it, which meant a lot to me.
  • Followed the news about the riots at the Capitol building in Washington D.C.
  • Started building my family tree on AncestryDNA and learning about who my relatives are, especially on my father’s side. This included messaging with distant relatives (cousins multiple times removed, for example), which was a pretty surreal experience.
  • Listened to and fell in love with the bonus tracks from Taylor Swift’s evermore.
  • Started a new (very beautiful) subscription of Vitamin D supplement.
  • Had a socially distanced chat and exchange of Christmas presents with one of my best friends.
  • Had a bit of a reset therapy session: we caught up and then set some goals to work on.
  • Had multiple writing sessions with Richard.
  • Wrote and posted a blog post about the third semester of my Masters.
  • Tested out a new method of overcoming my Trichotillomania: using a strip of elastic to tie my hand to my portable desk, preventing my pulling hand from reaching my hair.
  • Finished my ADHD assessment and was diagnosed with ADHD, although it’s a complicated one as there is much overlap between Autism and ADHD.
  • Had a Netflix party with some friends where we watched How To Train Your Dragon.
  • Started my new university module, The Writer’s Voice (online, of course).
  • Binge-watched The Wilds.
  • Had a productive meeting with one of the careers team at my university.
  • Had multiple writing sessions with my friend and coursemate, Luce.
  • Watched and critiqued the first draft of the acoustic session videos.
  • Watched the film, How It Ends.
  • Watched the film, Ava.
  • Due to technical issues, my friend, Aislin, and I wrote a song using basically texts and a google doc; and not only that, it was a song we loved and felt really proud of, regardless of the circumstances.
  • Watched Joe Biden’s inauguration; I found it very inspiring and emotional.
  • Had a consultation with an Occupational Therapist (via phone) for the pain in my hands.
  • Continued with my therapy sessions.
  • Worked on a couple of songs with my friend and coursemate, Dan.
  • Got my AncestryDNA results back, which was really interesting in some ways and frustrating in others.
  • Had a long catch up call with one of my best friends.
  • Had my first session for a new mentoring programme.
  • Had a meltdown after an unexpected change with a university class and ended up missing the class entirely.
  • Watched the series, Tiny Pretty Things.
  • Had a COVID test.
  • Had my COVID test come back negative.
  • Had multiple sessions with my friend and coursemate, Anna.
  • Watched one of my best friends, Luce, do her second online show.
  • Finished the acoustic session videos.
  • Began Occupational Therapy for the pain in my hands.
  • Wrote a blog post about the first year without our dog, Lucky.
  • Wrote multiple songs by myself.
  • Started FAWM – February Album Writing Month, a challenge to write fourteen songs in twenty eight days.
  • Had a phone call with the Chronic Fatigue Service that proved to be not only unhelpful, but deeply troubling: we discovered that I’d never received the results of blood-work from two years ago that showed multiple (potentially dangerous) abnormalities that should’ve been investigated and he told me my case was too complicated for them, that they didn’t feel they could help me.
  • Ran into a friend that I haven’t seen for ages and we planned a call and (online) movie night.
  • Had an ECG: hypermobility can result in heart problems (in a small percentage of people) so I’ll have to have regular heart check ups.
  • Had a writing session with my friend and coursemate, Amy.
  • Continued to spread awareness of how ableist, offensive, and dangerous Sia’s film, Music, is.
  • Posted my blog post about the first year with our lovely dog, Lucky.
  • Watched the film, Peppermint.
  • Celebrated the beginning of Taylor Swift releasing her rerecorded albums, starting with ‘Love Story (Taylor’s Version).’
  • Wrote with my friend and coursemate, Harrison.
  • Watched the film, The Dig.
  • Had a long overdue movie night (in the middle of the day) and catch up with two of my best friends.
  • Posted two blog posts on the same day about Trichotillomania. (x) (x)
  • My Mum had her first COVID vaccination.
  • Had a difficult video call with one of my tutors about one of the Masters modules, in which I got very upset.
  • Watched Series 1 and 2 of The Bay.
  • My Mum trimmed my fringe for me.
  • Received the about-face makeup (by Halsey) I’d bought and tested it out; I particularly liked the matte lip product.
  • Rewatched Criminal Minds from start to finish.
  • Had several writing sessions with my new friend and coursemate, Phill.
  • Received the Chronic Fatigue Service’s post-session report before they sent it to my GP and corrected all of the errors in it (such as when I was diagnosed with ASD).
  • Watched the film, Taking Lives.
  • Rewatched all three seasons of Absentia.
  • Had another mentoring session, which was really thought-provoking and productive.
  • My university had a reading week so I didn’t have any classes.
  • Had a planning session with Richard after one of our writing sessions.
  • Found the new COVID-19 plan announced on the 22nd February thoroughly unclear and confusing.
  • Watched New Amsterdam Season 1.
  • Wrote several songs based on fictional stories and characters, which isn’t my writing comfort zone but was really fun.
  • Started watching Unforgotten Series 4; I’m ecstatic to have Nicola Walker on my screen again, especially playing such a great character, but given the end of the last series, I can’t help but worry that this will be the last.
  • Had multiple sessions with my friend and coursemate, Simon.
  • Watched the film, Escape From Pretoria.
  • Completed FAWM (February Album Writing Month), actually writing 14 songs in less than 28 days.
  • Had a socially distanced catch up with one of my oldest and best friends.
  • Had a second COVID test.
  • Did several Autism research studies (from home, of course).
  • Dyed my hair.
  • Had a writing session with my friend and coursemate, Joy.
  • One of my best friends, Richard Marc, released his debut single, ‘Put It In A Postcard,’ which I helped write.
  • Had my COVID test come back negative.
  • Learned that my ECG had come back clear.
  • Had official confirmation that I’ve been diagnosed with Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.
  • Had a meeting with uni staff to discuss the options around the process of changing my antidepressants in order to take medication for my ADHD.
  • Watched New Amsterdam Season 2.
  • Met a potential DSA mentor (it didn’t work out).
  • Was unexpectedly triggered during a seminar and got extremely upset, although I was somehow able to pull myself together enough to manage the class.
  • Bought tickets for me and my family to see Tim Minchin when he (hopefully) tours the UK at the end of the year.
  • Announced the Honest EP (Sunburst Sessions).
  • Fell down the stairs but fortunately wasn’t too badly banged up.
  • Sweep had to go to the vet because she seemed to be having trouble moving around comfortably but the vet wasn’t worried and thought she’d probably been knocked around in all the wind we’ve been having and has given her some painkillers. We also asked if she had any guesses as to what breed Sweep is since we have no idea and her guess is Long Haired Domestic Cat with potentially some Norwegian Forest Cat, so that’s what we’re going with unless we decide to do one of those pet DNA tests.
  • Had a good catch up call with one of my oldest friends.
  • Caught up with The Grammys, celebrated Taylor Swift’s folklore winning Album of the Year, and cried over all of the acceptance speeches.
  • Watched The One (Season 1).
  • Had a particularly good response in class to one of my songs, which is one of my favourite songs I’ve written recently.
  • Had a really productive meeting with my course leader about my Masters final project.
  • Had an upsetting and thoroughly unhelpful appointment with a specialist I’d been referred to.
  • Had another set of blood tests – I’ve completely forgotten what they’re for or who requested them with so many people involved right now but they might give us more insight into my fatigue.
  • Posted the first of the Honest EP acoustic sessions, ‘Bad Night (Sunburst Sessions)’.

  • Learned about Travis Meadows’ surgery, donated to the gofundme, and shared the link.
  • Watched one of my best friends, Luce, do an awesome online show.
  • Posted my blog post about being diagnosed with ADHD.
  • Watched Creating The Queen’s Gambit, which just made me want to watch the show again.
  • Joined the judging panel for a songwriting competition.
  • Screeched at the penultimate episode of Unforgotten Series 4.
  • After a really fascinating seminar on Jungian archetypes, I spent hours reading more about them.
  • Suddenly found out quite a lot about my Dad’s side of the family, which was amazing but pretty overwhelming.
  • Had another meeting with one of the tutors to fine tune the approach to my Masters final project.
  • Did an interview with an Autism publication.
  • Attended Betsy Lane’s Zoom party to celebrate her (awesome) new single, ‘Plan For Paris.’
  • Rewrote my professional bio, or attempted to at least.
  • Had a long phone call with one of my best friends, which I think I really needed (plus she said something to me that may be the most special and important thing anyone has ever said to me).
  • Worked on multiple blog posts for World Autism Awareness Week 2021.
  • Had an excited little freak out about Lexie Grey (played by Chyler Leigh) appearing in Grey’s Anatomy again, even though I’m not watching the show at the moment (I just can’t manage living the pandemic and watching entertainment about it – but I loved Lexie so I look forward to watching it one day).
  • Worked with Richard on my next release.
  • I posted the second video in my acoustic session series, ‘Clarity (Sunburst Sessions).’

  • Had a lovely, long call with one of my best friends.
  • Received a late Christmas gift from one of my parents: a vinyl of the Honest EP!
  • Got a very sweet comment from Natalie Hemby (one of my favourite songwriters) on Instagram.
  • Wrote and submitted a research proposal for a conference.
  • Got my first COVID vaccine!
  • *SPOILER ALERT* Was deeply, deeply upset when Cassie died in the Unforgotten finale – I’m not sure I’ll ever feel the same way about the show and I don’t think I’ll be able to watch the next series.
  • Wrote a song about grief called ‘Incomplete,’ inspired by Unforgotten but informed by my own experience.
  • Had the initial meeting about the next and final module of the Masters, called The Major Repertoire Project.
  • Worked on a really special song with my friend and coursemate, Anna.
  • Went to a drop-in session (online) with my tutor to get some advice on my assessment work.
  • Posted the third video in my acoustic session series, ‘Sounds Like Hope (Sunburst Sessions).’

  • Had several video calls with my friend, Luce, where we worked on our songs for our assessment portfolios.
  • My Mum cut my fringe again. It was alarmingly short this time.
  • Put up a blog post for every day of Autism Awareness Week.
  • Had my last workshop of the semester, which felt quite emotional.
  • The research proposal that I submitted for the conference was accepted!
  • Celebrated Taylor Swift re-releasing her album Fearless as Fearless (Taylor’s Version).
  • Posted the fourth video in my acoustic session series, ‘Back To Life (Sunburst Sessions).’

  • Rewatched The Wilds while I worked on various things.
  • Started watching The Shires’ online concert but couldn’t finish it because of family commitments.
  • Got some really exciting news about a creative project I’ve been involved with (I can’t talk about it yet since it isn’t my project to announce).
  • Got a new fidget toy that also seems to be complimentary to my Occupational Therapy exercises.
  • Finished my marking for the songwriting competition.
  • Rewatched Dare Me while I was working on various tasks.
  • Met and had my first discussion with my Major Repertoire Project (the final module and project of the Masters) supervisor.
  • Posted the fifth and final video in my acoustic session series, ‘Honest (Sunburst Sessions).’

  • Ended up spending the day in A&E after three days with a migraine had my doctor concerned that I might be experiencing side effects from my COVID vaccine.
  • Dyed my hair again.
  • Finished my coursework for The Writer’s Voice module.
  • Worked on a song with my friend and coursemate, Alessandro, which incidentally meant that I’d written with every person in the group.
  • Submitted my coursework for The Writer’s Voice module.
  • Celebrated one of my parents’ birthdays.
  • Attended several (online) networking meetings organised by my university.
  • Rewatched Blood & Water (Series 1).
  • Upped my Occupational Therapy regimen.
  • Got a haircut for the first time in MONTHS. 
  • Had another migraine that lasted for several days.
  • Released the Honest EP (The Sunburst Sessions).
  • Had a very distressing and unhelpful follow up appointment (by phone) with a rheumatologist (different from the original one).
  • Hit a stumbling block in getting treatment for my ADHD.

As I said in the last part of this list, hopefully there won’t be reason to continue this post; hopefully there won’t be any more lockdowns. But I guess only time will tell. I’ve found it strangely comforting to keep this list; it’s kind of like a time capsule for these strange periods of time, if that makes sense.

I hope you’re all keeping safe and well and I’ll see you in the next post.

February Album Writing Month 2021

So, every February for the last several years, I have been attempting FAWM or February Album Writing Month, an annual songwriting challenge where participants try to write 14 songs in the 28 days of February. And it’s definitely a challenge. If you have a job, are in some form of education, or have time consuming responsibilities (such as looking after family, handling health issues, etc), you likely have limited time to write. But having a time based challenge like FAWM – with a Twitter spitting out prompts and forums full of people sharing ideas and tips – can be a really great way to help carve out some time and boost motivation. I’ve always found it to be a great experience, one that has produces really interesting songs, whether I actually manage to complete the challenge or not.

I completed it last year and wrote some songs I’m really proud of it, plus I had so much fun, so I was really excited to do it again this year. I was collecting ideas and come 1st February, I was raring to go but then a lot of difficult medical stuff came up, hitting me like a ton of bricks. All of that really messed with my head and it suddenly felt a lot harder to manage everything: my physical health, my mental health, my uni work, writing at all, let alone extra writing. I felt like I was constantly on the edge of burning out. But then, as time passed and I worked my way out of the fog, I was able to focus on songwriting again and, for the second year in a row, I managed to complete the challenge of writing 14 songs in 28 days.


These are the songs I wrote:

  1. One More Time – Coming out of a really tough time, I think I wrote this song kind of to myself, encouraging and reminding myself to get up ‘one more time’ because that’s the only way to get through. It was hard to write but I knew the moment I hit the right chorus and I just fell in love with it. It’s definitely one I’d like to release at some point; hopefully it can can do the same thing for someone else as it did for me.
  2. Astronaut – Having always been fascinated with space and the stars, I was always going to end up writing at least one song about being an astronaut (funnily enough, the FAWM Twitter’s prompt the next day was about being an astronaut). I’m not sure it’s quite there yet but I feel like it’s a really solid foundation and I do love some of the lyrics and melodies, so it’s just about really tightening it up, I think.
  3. Half of the Conversation – This song started as a cowriting exercise in a uni seminar and we all liked what we came up with so much that we kept booking sessions together until we finished a first draft. One of the group wants to use it, which the rest of us are totally happy with. So I’m currently trying to arrange a session with him to redraft and make sure he’s happy with it.
  4. Taking Care of Me – This one is another cowrite with a friend/coursemate. We’ve been meaning to write together for ages and we finally managed to make it work (with plans for another session to redraft and make the song the best it can be). We had a really fun session that started on one idea and ended up on a completely different one, about practicing setting boundaries and making time for yourself and putting yourself first when you feel that it’s best for you. I really like what we came up with, plus it has one of the oddest lyrics I’ve ever strung together in it.
  5. Prison (Redraft) – I first wrote ‘Prison’ during FAWM last year and was really proud of it as a first draft but with the pandemic and then going back to uni, I haven’t managed to work on it again until now. I’m really pleased with the new and improved version and I feel like the metaphor is even stronger.
  6. Keep The Memories – I wrote this song with a friend/coursemate, about a person who screwed me over and really messed me up (although I should’ve seen it coming). We have quite different styles but we ended up with something really cool, something that I definitely wouldn’t have done on my own. I’m still tidying it up and refining it but it was a really fun experiment and I’m pleased with it as a first draft.
  7. Roots (Redraft) – I cowrote this with a friend/coursemate just before FAWM began and then, during FAWM, we had another session where we worked on it. We both really loved the first draft but we experimented with some sections and refined others and hopefully made it better. I think it’s one of my favourite cowrites to have been a part of.
  8. Father’s Eyes – I wrote this song with the same person I cowrote ‘Roots’ with and while it was hard to write – writing about my Dad always is – I feel good about what we’ve come up with. It’s not exactly comfortable but it’s honest and special and I’m grateful to have had someone I felt safe with to explore the idea and write the song with. I’m looking forward to working on it more and getting it just right. That will feel really good.
  9. Last One Standing – Since the pandemic, I’ve been experimenting with writing stories based on fictional stories and characters. This particular one is about Daisy Johnson from Agents of Shield, possibly my all time favourite show, about her owning how truly powerful she is and how important SHIELD and what SHIELD stands for are to her. I love this song so much. I’ve already edited the lyrics a few times to make sure it’s as clear and impactful as possible and I think it’s really close to being done.
  10. Soul – Another fiction-based song, this one is from the perspective of Emily Byrne from Absentia, another of my favourite shows. It covers some of her emotional processing at the end of Season 1, after her trauma, after being on the run, after the mystery is (apparently) solved. It’s not my favourite song I’ve written but the idea and the melody just wouldn’t let me go. Maybe I’ll come back to it at some point and find a better way to do what I was trying to do.
  11. Ashes – This one is another Daisy Johnson inspired song, inspired by the end of Season 3 where *SPOILER ALERT* she abandons SHIELD to go after the Watchdogs (as we later find out in Season 4). We don’t see her make that decision in the show and I’ve always been intrigued by the various ways it might’ve played out. I wrote this from her perspective, when she’s still very much drowning in her guilt and pushing away all the people that care about her.
  12. Hurricane – I already have a song called ‘Hurricane’ but when it comes to this song, not only is ‘Hurricane’ a working title but I highly doubt I’ll ever release this song. It was another experiment, another Absentia inspired song based on the early interactions between Emily and Cal and how their traumatic experiences give them a deep understanding of each other, something that they haven’t received from anyone else. I always really liked that about their relationship, that even though their experiences were different, there was a level of understanding unique to the two of them, something that strengthens both of them. So I tried to write a song about it. Again, I’m not sure I’ve gotten it right yet but there are parts of it that I really like.
  13. Monster – My third and final Absentia inspired song revolved around how various people and circumstances tried to turn Emily into a killer, into a monster. And when I started writing it, I intended for this version of Emily to embrace that, like, ‘Okay, you want a monster? I’ll give you a monster.’ And while that’s how the narrative played out, it became more complex. Almost of her own accord, she embraced what they’d given her (the skills, the emotional compartmentalisation, and yet this unrelenting rage, etc) and turned it back on them. She flipped the script: ‘You wanted me to be a monster? Well, here I am and this is what I’m capable of. Are you scared yet?’ It was probably the most interesting writing process during FAWM; I felt more like I was along for the ride than I had with any of the other songs. It’s not perfect yet – it needs some redrafting – but it feels like a really solid song.
  14. Even Me – I wrote this song with a good friend/coursemate about how, after a break up, all the things and places that were made special by the relationship feel ruined. We had such a great session: it was really productive but we also had so much fun and I’m really happy with how it’s turned out. It needs some refining but I feel like it’s a really solid first draft.
  15. Redraft of a friend/coursemate’s song – I didn’t cowrite this song so I don’t think it’s fair to share too much about it but a friend from my course asked if I’d help her redraft and refine a song she’d written and we had a really productive session. We did some restructuring to improve the flow of the narrative and the narrator’s journey; we switched out some lines to add emotional impact; we rewrote a section to add another layer to the situation described. The song was good already but I feel like we really tightened it up. It felt really collaborative and I had a really good time. Bringing a new idea to life is magical but there’s also something deeply satisfying about honing an idea to, hopefully, be the best it can be.

I actually worked on several more songs but didn’t manage to finish them or couldn’t arrange the cowriting sessions within the time period to finish them. And while most of these songs are still first drafts, I feel really good about a lot of them and where they’re headed. So I’m pretty proud of myself, especially considering how much I was struggling earlier in the month.

Although it’s called February ALBUM Writing Month, I don’t tend to think about writing a cohesive album, more an album’s worth of material. Creating a really good body of work takes so much thought and planning and usually a lot more than 14 songs to get a really good, cohesive body of work. But the challenge gets me so excited and energised when it comes to my songwriting that that’s the real benefit for me. I’m not going to be able to keep writing at this pace with all my uni work and health stuff going on, but I’ve really enjoyed this time to really dedicate to my writing and obviously I’m going to keep writing as much as I can around everything else I’m balancing.

I’d love to include links to these songs so that you guys could hear them (recording, production, and uploading is part of the challenge but I don’t want to put them out there when I don’t know what’s going to happen with them). I haven’t had time but, as I said, I don’t know if I’m going to release them or not and I wouldn’t want to spoil that. Because some of these songs are definitely headed for release…