TW: descriptions of meltdowns, mentions of pet loss/grief, theatre about rape and sexual assault trials, bad disabled access experiences and ableism (and not a trigger but vague spoilers for the TV Show, Alice and Steve).

At the beginning of June, I went looking for the month’s new photo challenge and found this instead: a challenge to find a glimmer every day for the thirty days of June…

Most of us have heard of a ‘trigger,’ of ‘being triggered’: when we see, hear, sense, etc something that activates our nervous system and ‘triggers’ our stress response to danger, whether that be fight, flight, fawn, or freeze. We become anxious and tense and our breathing and heart rate increase, all things that are helping when facing an actual threat but not so much when we’re dealing with memories, anxiety, and daily stresses. Living in this activated state is terrible for both our physical and mental health and can result in long-term physical and mental health problems, as well as acquired neurodivergent conditions such as CPTSD, and it can be incredibly difficult to heal your nervous system after living in this state for an extended period of time (I say this from experience – I’m trying to do it right now in therapy). But where there are triggers that activate our sympathetic nervous systems, there are ‘glimmers’ that help us to regulate our nervous systems, bringing us out of that activated state, and move us into a rest state, activating our parasympathetic nervous systems. This shift can be initiated by a sign of safety, something that makes you feel calm and peaceful and connected. Our brains are constantly scanning for information and making predictions to keep us safe but human brains have a negativity bias and we’re much more likely to see potential threats than we are to see signals of safety. This is why building in the practice of noticing the glimmers throughout your day is so good for your nervous system and your overall health: you’re retraining your brain to see safety over threat, you’re building emotional resilience in a healthy way, and you’re guiding an overactive nervous system into a more stable sense of calm.

Glimmers don’t negate any distress, mental health struggle, or trauma that we might be dealing with but they do help to create a balance in our lives where we are more able to manage these issues; the more we can notice the glimmers in our daily lives, the greater capacity we have to function, to heal, to connect. They can’t, for example, cure a chronic illness but improved nervous system regulation – a result of retraining our brains to identify safety and joy – is beneficial for our mental health and therefore make us more able to manage the challenges we’re facing; we’re more likely to be in a regulated state, built on a stable foundation, when that challenge appears, rather than in a stressed emotional state where we’re already running out of the capacity we need to make decisions or manage the situation. I’m in no way an expert at regulating myself but, a few weeks ago, I was triggered by a very loud noise while waiting to see my doctor and, in the past, I absolutely would’ve had a meltdown but because I am getting better at regulating myself, I was able to manage my response and my emotional reaction and avert a full blown meltdown; it was hard and I was still overstimulated and upset but I wasn’t crying and screaming and curled up on the floor so I’m calling that a very big win. Noticing glimmers and making that a habit slowly changes the pathways in your brain, helping you to become more regulated with a nervous system that is less likely to get triggered. And while these are just words on a screen, the result of this practice can be absolutely life changing. And the more open and willing you are, the more benefits you are likely to experience.

So a challenge like this is a great way to practice noticing the glimmers in your life. I’ve been doing it for some time but I’ve never really documented it or talked about it on here so I thought I’d use this as an opportunity…