Posted on April 8, 2023
NOTE: I know I haven’t posted in ages but there are several posts coming, including some that cover that missing period of time.
As always, when I’m in Nashville, I listen to a lot of music, so much that I was hitting overwhelm every evening. There were just so many songs at every show, so many gorgeous lyrics and beautiful melodies; I found it hard to take it all in. There were so many that I could’ve included on this list but I tried to stick to the ones that stuck out to me the most, the ones that I really, really felt during the trip; these are my favourites, the ones that felt the most meaningful.
SUBJECT TO CHANGE by Kelsea Ballerini (Written by Kelsea Ballerini, Karen Fairchild, and Alyssa Vanderheym)
Pretty much ever since I saw Kelsea live in February, this song has been playing in the background of my brain. It’s so catchy and so uplifting, from the lyrics to the melody to the production. The second verse and pre-chorus have always been particularly moving for me: the verse feels very true to my experience of life and the pre-chorus – especially the lines “Oh, I don’t think about the chapters / It’s all about turning the page” – really speaks to me, maybe because that’s something I struggle with. The song fills me with such joy that I find myself skipping and dancing when I listen to it, even if I’m in the middle of the street. I first saw Kelsea on my first trip to Nashville and can’t help associating her with it so I wasn’t surprised to have it in my head for the whole flight.
Favourite Lyrics: “If I’m honest / Growing up, it kind of hurts like hell / It’s chaotic, ironic / But it’s how I learn to find myself, yeah // Thank God, I don’t know about tomorrow / Thank God, I take it day by day / Oh, I don’t think about the chapters / It’s all about turning the page”
Radio Silence by Natalie Hemby (Written by Rosi Golan and Natalie Hemby)
This is quite possibly my favourite song to come out of Nashville. I love Natalie Hemby – as a songwriter, as a singer, and as a person, as you probably know if you follow my blog – and this is, I think, my favourite song of hers. The lyrics, the melody, the production… Her voice… I absolutely love all of it. It sounds like the feeling it’s describing: that shock, that sadness and loneliness, that devastation. I’ve definitely experienced what’s described in the song and from the first listen, it’s always resonated so strongly. As I got settled back in to the Nashville routine, I listened to it a lot and even ended up recording and posting a little cover of a snippet of it.
Favourite Lyrics: “I wasn’t ready for / The way you shut the door / And lеft me standin’ in the frame” AND “I tried to reach you through the growin’ static / I tried to replicate the fading magic / Did everything to keep the signal from dyin’ / All I got was radio silence // I tried to tell you that it’s gonna get better / I tried to put the pieces back together / Did everything to keep the signal from dyin’ / All I got was radio silence”
Diamond Rings and Old Barstools by Tim McGraw (Written by Barry Dean, Luke Laird, and Jonathan Singleton) (Performed by Barry Dean)
This song is one of the first I heard in Nashville and I think, because of that, it feels very nostalgic. That first trip was so magical. I heard this at my first Tin Pan South show ever and between the detail of the lyric and the rise and fall of the melody, it just feels like a classic country song. I don’t know if I can explain it better than that.
Favourite Lyrics: “Diamond rings and old barstools / One’s for queens and one’s for fools / One’s the future and one’s the past / One’s forever and one won’t last”
Humble And Kind by Lori McKenna (Written and Performed by Lori McKenna)
This is a song that will never get old. It will never get less moving. It has this beautifully encouraging and uplifting way of talking about moving through life without sounding like it’s preaching. In my Nashville Playlist (2019) post, I talked about this song and how hearing it live feels like a spiritual experience and that assessment remains true. There’s something about the lyrics, the melody, her voice, and a room full of people murmuring along (not wanting to overwhelm her voice but so moved by the moment) that is just magical.
Favourite Lyrics: “Hold the door, say ‘please,’ say ‘thank you’ / Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie / I know you got mountains to climb / But always stay humble and kind / When those dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you / When the work you put in is realized / Let yourself feel the pride / But always stay humble and kind” AND “Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you / When you get where you’re going don’t forget turn back around / And help the next one in line / Always stay humble and kind”
Too Much Of A Good Thing by Madeline Edwards (Written by Madeline Edwards, Ian Christian, and Trannie Anderson) (Performed by Madeline Edwards, Laura Veltz, Kate York, and a couple of members of Madeline’s band)
During one Tin Pan South show, I was both introduced to Madeline Edwards and then got to hear her album almost in full. I completely fell in love with it and it’s been so hard to choose just one song for this list: her voice, the lyrics and melodies, the production… it’s all gorgeous. I think I have to choose the closer, which is called ‘Too Much Of A Good Thing.’ It’s the perfect closer to the album, simple and sweet with a lot less production than many of the earlier tracks (although, as I said, I do love those too – this is just so perfect for the song and perfect to close the album). It allows you to focus in on her voice and the lyrics, which are uplifting and encouraging and poignant. The song contemplates the idea that maybe good things can last, that the idea that we’ve all been taught – that ‘you can have too much of good thing’ – isn’t true. She talked about how much that had impacted her life and how trying to have faith in the idea that good things can happen, can be enjoyed, can last has helped her and allowed her to really feel and be present in the good. This is something that I really struggle with so the song really resonated with me and the more I listen to it, the more emotional I get.
Favourite Lyrics: “Well, life don’t always work like that / And hearts don’t have to break / And God don’t give to take it back / And dreams don’t have to fade / You can fly too close to the sun / And never melt your wings / And you can’t have too much of a good thing” AND “What if the love you want is the love you find?” AND “What if fear turns into scared of nothing? / You don’t have to let go of what you always wanted”
Let It Be Love by The Six One Five Collective (Written and Performed by Michael Logen)
I could list so many songs from this round because everyone was amazing: Michael Logen was fantastic, Bethany Joy Lenz is a born performer and has a stunning voice, Jeff Cohen is a wonderful songwriter, Jenn Bostic’s vocals were mind-blowing, and special guest Ben Earle (of The Shires) was great too. As I said, everyone was incredible and it was definitely one of the best rounds of the festival (although most of the rounds I went to were really, really good). But the ones that have been most stuck in my head are Michael Logen’s so I had to choose one of his for this list and this one just resonated so, so deeply, especially after the sadness of the week. With everyone singing the repeated line of the chorus – “Let it be love, love, love” – I could’ve cried because it just felt so powerful, everyone in the room connected by love, by music, by this fierce hope that things can and will get better, that we can make them better. It was just really moving, almost like a spiritual experience, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.
Favourite Lyrics: “If there’s only one thing that I’m known for / Just one legacy I leave behind / Just one word written over my hearthstone / Just one lesson I’ve learned in this life // Let it be love, love, love” AND “If it’s only one kingdom we’re building / Just one future we’re falling into / … // Let it be love, love, love” AND “Let it be love that holds us / Love that moulds us / Let it be love by which we are known / Let it be love that sees us / Love that frees us / Let it be love that leads us back home”
One Pink Line by Seth Ennis (Written by Seth Ennis, Cameron Bedell, and Lauren McLamb) (Performed by Seth Ennis)
Before playing this song, Seth Ennis talked about infertility, an issue that’s really close to his heart. He talked about how his parents had struggled with it and how one of his best friends was too and how that had inspired this song, how he’d written it for them. He’d never played it before but it was just beautiful. I’m not generally a fan of songs that are religious or are written as if speaking to God but I think it’s fair to say that many religious people who struggle with issues like infertility do question God when going through things like this. And you obviously don’t have to be religious to struggle with the ‘why’ of struggles like these. So it fits the circumstances here and is very poignant in this context. The imagery was vivid and heartbreaking; it felt very simple but certainly not boring, just letting the lyrics shine. And while it would make a nice story, I’m kind of glad that it didn’t have a happy ending because the difficult parts of life often don’t just magically resolve themselves; we have to muddle our way through and out of them in whatever way works best for us (which, of course, is different for each of us). We don’t always get a ‘why.’ I hope someone releases it because I think it could help a lot of people going through that kind of hard time.
Favourite Lyrics: “I can’t take one more ‘What are y’all waiting for?’ / One more night of her crying on the bathroom floor / So here I am // I know I’m not supposed to ask you why / And I know you’ve got a plan and it’s all in your time / If you only ever answer one more prayer I send up to the sky, just one time / Could you let her see more than one pink like?” AND “She was smiling when her little sister’s boy turned two years old / But I’m the only one who knows she cried that whole way home / And it breaks me when her heart breaks but nothing kills me / Like knowing how good a mama that woman would be” AND “And I’ll paint the room and I’ll build the crib / But you put a little heartbeat in it / That part’s out of my hands / And help me out here, man”
Crazy Love by Cassidy Daniels (Written by Cassidy Daniels and Unknown) (Performed by Cassidy Daniels)
Cassidy Daniels was the special guest at this round and came on stage to sing this song. She was funny and engaging and then she started to sing and oh my god, she blew the roof off The Listening Room. She has an absolutely amazing voice, truly, truly incredible. The song was deeply atmospheric and lyrics paint a dark but emotive picture. The melody climbs and falls; it has this almost lazy, organic movement that really fits her voice – it’s easy to imagine someone dancing to it or performing a gymnastics routine with it in the background – and matches the moody energy.
Favourite Lyrics: “I’ll show you crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy love / The kind I know that you’ve be dreaming of / Yeah, baby, if you’re all in / And you give it all you got then / I’ll show you crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy love”
The Longer I Live (feat. Ryan Kinder) by Aaron Goodvin (Written by Skip Black, Ryan Kinder, and Erin Goodman) (Performed by Skip Black)
I knew I wanted to see Skip Black since he’s done so much work with Kalie Shorr, who I absolutely love (and I love the songs that they’ve written together), and the whole round was good but Skip was my favourite and this was my favourite song that he played. Like ‘Humble And Kind’ and ‘Let It Be Love,’ it’s a song that looks at life and passes on the most important lessons learned without preaching or patronising. It feels honest and sincere and generous. It’s like all of the best country songs: they’re the ones we pass down and pass on because they connect us to each other. That’s where I’ve always felt the deepest spirituality and it’s songs like this where I feel that most profoundly.
Favourite Lyrics: “The longer I live, the more I’m alive” AND “The longer I live, the more I learn / How to just be patient waiting my turn / We all got dreams to chase, it ain’t a race / Ain’t about coming in first / The longer I live, the more I learn” AND “The longer I live, the less I need / All the people telling me who to be / I finally understand / That who I am works just fine for me / The longer I live, the less I need” AND “The longer I live, the more I love”
What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts (Written by Jeffrey Steele and Steve Robson) (Performed by Jeffrey Steele)
I talked about this song in last year’s Nashville Playlist post: “Somewhat hilariously, the first version of this song that I heard – in my Dad’s car – was the more dance/club version. I have no idea why my Dad had it on a CD but hearing it still brings back fond memories. Hearing the country version for the first time was a bit of a surprise but given the memories of my Dad, I have a soft spot for it and hearing Jeffrey Steele perform it was incredible. He’s an amazing singer and an amazing guitarist; it was a bit like the musical equivalent of a religious experience.” All of this was very true for hearing it this time but he also told the story behind it, the writing process and the success it had, and both of those were deeply connected with his own father, which only made me love it more.
Favourite Lyrics: “It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go / But I’m doing it / It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends / And I’m alone // Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret / But I know if I could do it over / I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart / That I left unspoken // What hurts the most / Is being so close / And having so much to say (much to say) / And watching you walk away / And never knowing / What could’ve been / And not seeing that love in you / Is what I was trying to do”
Leaving Tennessee by Carter Faith (Written by Carter Faith, Jen Stegall, and Margaret Valentine) (Performed by Carter Faith)
I’ve seen Carter perform a couple of times now and I love this song so much. She’s got such a sweet voice, the melody is so natural and comforting, and the lyrics feel simple but resonate deeply. I think it’s stuck with me so strongly because, while I’ll probably never be able to live in Nashville – for a variety of reasons – I do feel like a part of me never leaves, that I reconnect with it every time I return to the city. So, in some ways, it’s a really sad song for me but also a really comforting one.
Favourite Lyrics: “I would always pack my bags and go before they could find me out / I would always hit the road before they could pin me down / And when I tell you I’m a rolling stone and that I’m never gonna feel at home / Don’t listen to me, you know better, baby / I ain’t ever leaving Tennessee”
No One Cares by Mia Morris (Written and Performed by Mia Morris)
I’ve been seeing Mia perform with Song Suffragettes for years now, in person and over the livestream, and it’s amazing to see how much she’s developed not only as a musician (I swear she can play, like, seven instruments at once – she even used a bowl from the audience member in front of her during this show) but also as a songwriter over this time; she has such a distinctive style as a writer and performer that it’s hard not to get sucked into her songs (I mean, who else could write such a hilarious and smart song about Stacy from ‘Stacy’s Mom’ by Fountains of Wayne and have them sign off on it?!). But during the show I went to, she played this one, which is just so funny. We’ve all had at least one moment in life where, in conversation with someone, we’ve wanted to roll our eyes and say, ‘NO ONE CARES,’ and this song is perfect for that internal monologue.
Favourite Lyrics: “Oh wait / Might be too late / There’s no one really left for you to irritate // Just now, I’ve reached my limit / Right now, you’re so full of it / Is there any way you could take a minute and just be quiet? / Let’s play listening, don’t say anything / For all the time you waste, all the stories you share / Here’s a little story for you, honey / No one cares”
Giving Up by Carmen Dianne (Written by Carmen Dianne and Unknown) (Performed by Carmen Dianne)
I’ve never seen someone play bass at Song Suffragettes (the musicianship of this show was incredible) so I was hooked as soon as Carmen started playing and I loved both of her songs. I found this one particularly emotive, which was only enhanced by her incredible vocals; it really resonated with an experience I’ve been in. But it was also empowering and rebellious and sassy, which I loved. The lyrics are really powerful and the melody sort of tumbles over itself in a really satisfying way. I’ve been listening to it over and over again.
Favourite Lyrics: “I gave up my platform(?) for you to stand taller / I gave up my freedom so you’re not alone / I gave up all these pieces of me just for some peace and quiet in our home / Gave up my breath for you to go waste it / I gave up my family to start one with you / I’ve done my share of giving and now I’m giving up on you” (I’m transcribing from the video after the fact so I’m not sure that these are entirely correct)
Nora Jane by Gina Venier (Written with Gina Venier, Savannah Santos, and Summer Overstreet) (Performed by Gina Venier)
I have never heard a song about a woman loving a woman in Nashville. Never. So not only did this song surprise me in the most gorgeous way, it’s also a beautifully written love song that touches on the fears of coming out and the relief of the story having a happy ending. The lyrics are simple but really touching and I can see why so many people feel so validated by her sharing her story, feel like she’s telling their story too. It’s not a story we hear often in country music and so I think it’s amazing that she’s telling it. Even though it’s not something that has ever required bravery in my own house, I can imagine how much courage it took to do that and then share it with the whole world; it felt like an honour to be trusted with that.
Favourite Lyrics: “What’s my dad gonna do when I bring you home? / What’s my mom gonna say when I tell her you’re the one I love? / Tell her you’re the one I want / Is my brother gonna hate me? / I’m afraid everyone I love won’t love me the same / When I tell ’em your name, Nora Jane” AND “My dad wasn’t too tough when I brought you home / My mom gave me a hug when I told her you’re the one I love / Told her you’re the one I want / My brother found a way to be okay / And I found everyone I love still loves me the same / When I tell ’em your name, Nora Jane”
Rainbow by Kacey Musgraves (Written by Kacey Musgraves, Natalie Hemby, and Shane McAnally) (Performed by Natalie Hemby)
Natalie Hemby was the special guest for the Song Suffragettes 9th Anniversary show so I’m throwing out my self-imposed rule book; she gets two songs from this show. She is my favourite person in Nashville after all. I love ‘Rainbow’ and it’s easily my favourite Kacey Musgraves song – and has been ever since I heard her play it live at Country2Country, I think it was, before even Pageant Material came out. And to know that they were all in need of that song when they wrote it made me love it even more. I love hearing songwriters sing songs that they worked on that were then released by someone else, even if it was someone else in the writing room, and I love hearing Natalie sing this song; there’s something about her voice that just makes me love it even more.
Favourite Lyrics: “When it rains it pours / But you didn’t even notice / It ain’t rainin’ anymore / It’s hard to breathe when all you know is / The struggle of / Staying above / The rising water line” AND “If you could see what I see / You’d be blinded by the colours / Yellow, red and orange, and green / And at least a million others” AND “Oh, tie up the boat / Take off your coat / And take a look around / Everything is alright now” AND “‘Cause the sky has finally opened / The rain and wind stopped blowin’ / But you’re stuck out in the same old storm again / Let go of your umbrella / ‘Cause, darling, I’m just tryin’ to tell ya / That there’s always been a rainbow hangin’ over your head / Yeah, there’s always been a rainbow hangin’ over your head / It’ll all be alright” (So basically the whole song)
Crowded Table by The Highwomen (Written by Natalie Hemby, Lori McKenna, and Brandi Carlile) (Performed by Natalie Hemby)
One of my favourite moments of this trip was actually this song, Natalie’s last song for Song Suffragettes and the last performance I witnessed in Nashville. I love ‘Crowded Table,’ as I said in last year’s post: “This song kind of reminds me of growing up: my house was always busy and there was always a lot of people around. We were a big, tight knit family (we’re still close but we’re all a bit more spread out now so getting together is harder) and we often congregated around the table at meal times. So, when I listen to it, it reminds me of that.” But this time, she started playing it on stage and then changed her mind, getting up and restarting the song unplugged as she climbed off stage, walking around the room and singing it as she wound between the tables. It was a really special moment. I wish more people had been singing but it was still really magical and I was giddy with joy from the whole experience.
Favourite Lyrics: “I can be your streetlight / Showing you the way home / You can hold my hand / When you need to let go” AND “I want a house with a crowded table / And a place by the fire for everyone / Let us take on the world while we’re young and able / And bring us back together when the day is done” AND “If we want a garden / We’re gonna have to sow the seed / Plant a little happiness / Let the roots run deep / If it’s love that we give / Then it’s love that we reap / If we want a garden / We’re gonna have to sow the seed” AND “Everyone’s a little broken / And everyone belongs / Yeah, everyone belongs”
So there is my Nashville 2023 playlist. As always, I could’ve included so many more songs – I heard so many over the trip that I feel like my brain is melting whenever I try and think back to the songs of each night – but I tried not to let the post get too long. We could’ve been here for much longer, believe me!
Anyway, I hope this was interesting, that you were reminded of an old favourite or introduced to a new song that you like. My full Nashville trip post will be up soon.
Category: emotions, favourites, music, video Tagged: aaron goodvin, barry dean, carmen dianne, carter faith, cassidy daniels, gina venier, jeffrey steele, kacey musgraves, kelsea ballerini, lori mckenna, madeline edwards, mia morris, michael logen, music, nashville, natalie hemby, playlist, rascal flatts, ryan kinder, seth ennis, skip black, song suffragettes, the highwomen, the six one five collective, tim mcgraw
Posted on April 16, 2022
From Brighton to Boston to Nashville and then back to Brighton, I was listening to a lot of music and like on previous trips, I enjoyed keeping notes of which songs I was listening to. These are all songs that were prominent during my trip, songs that I will probably always connect back to this trip. I didn’t necessarily have a song for every single day but given that I was away for just over two weeks, I figured that this was a perfectly decent number of songs for a playlist.
‘I Wanna Get Better’ by Bleachers
The reason we stopped in Boston on the way to Nashville was so that I could finally see Bleachers live and see them play the Strange Desire album from start to finish, an album that means so much to me. I could’ve chosen ‘Like a River Runs’ because that song is tied with this one as my favourite Bleachers song but the energy of the crowd during this song took my breath away. It was amazing.
Favourite Lyrics: “Woke up this morning early before my family / From this dream where she was trying to show me / How a life can move from the darkness / She said to get better // So I put a bullet where I shoulda put a helmet / And I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away / That’s why I’m standing on the overpass screaming at myself / ‘Hey, I wanna get better!’ // I didn’t know I was lonely ’til i saw your face / I wanna get better, better, better, better / I wanna get better / I didn’t know I was broken ’til i wanted to change / I wanna get better, better, better, better / I wanna get better”
WARNING: FLASHING LIGHTS!
‘Humble Quest’ by Maren Morris
Maren Morris’ new album came out the day I flew into Nashville and so I listened to it as I flew back into town. While I love a lot of the songs, ‘Humble Quest’ stood out to me straight away and it was stuck in my head for days afterwards. I really related to it although I’m not sure what part of me it’s speaking to. But the lyrics “And damn I do my best / Not gonna hold my breath / ‘Cause I still haven’t found it yet / No, I still haven’t found it yet” just resonate really strongly. And it’s catchy as hell.
Favourite Lyrics: “Haven’t looked up in a while / Been biting my tongue behind a smile / Falling on swords that I can’t see / Poison my well on the daily / Got easier not to ask / Just kept hitting my head on the glass / I was so nice till I woke up / I was polite till I spoke up // I’m on a humble quest / And damn I do my best / Not gonna hold my breath / ‘Cause I still haven’t found it yet / No, I still haven’t found it yet”
‘Circles Around This Town’ by Maren Morris
While I was in Nashville (and still recovering from the flights, the jet lag, and the Bleachers concert), Maren Morris’ Amazon Prime show was streamed from New York and I was able to watch it. I really, really enjoyed it and I could’ve chosen so many different songs but ‘Circles Around This Town’ just felt like the right choice. It’s the first single from the new album and the first song she played for this show. I wasn’t sure about it when she first released it but it’s grown on me so much since then, so much since the album came out. It’s so her and yet so easy to connect to.
Favourite Lyrics: “So many times I thought about leaving / Got my ass kicked trying to compete with / Everybody else’s ones that got away / Hung around long enough to catch a break // Couple hundred songs and the ones that finally worked / Was the one about a car and the one about a church / That I wrote // Driving circles around this town / Trying to write circles around this town / Trying to say something with meaning, something worth singing about / I’ve been kind and I’ve been ruthless / Yeah, I got here but the truth is / Thought when I hit it, it’d all look different / But I still got the pedal down / Driving circles around this town / Driving circles around this town”
‘Eighteen’ by Kalie Shorr
Kalie is one of my favourite artists and songwriters and this one is gut-wrenching. It’s beautifully written and while I literally can’t name my favourite songs of hers because I love so many of them, this is one of the ones that I love a lot. I’d never heard it live though – up to this point anyway – but she played it at the Song Suffragettes 8th Anniversary show, which was my first show back in Nashville. That was particularly sweet: because of the pandemic, I haven’t seen Kalie live since she released her debut album, Open Book, which is one of my favourite albums ever so it was very special to hear a song from the album now that I’m finally back in the US and able to see her perform.
Favourite Lyrics: “Which one did you fuck harder my best friend or my self esteem / Remember when you got drunk and said you were the only one dumb enough to love me / I don’t want to live just following your script / The actress is too young and the director is a narcissist” AND “I see you out with younger versions of me / While I’m trying to find who I used to be / I’m terrified that you and I will always be chasing eighteen // This isn’t normal, this isn’t okay / But I didn’t know any better, so I thought it’d be better to stay / Almost beautiful, the things that you taught me / I think I really loved you, I think you really loved that I was / Eighteen”
‘abcdefu’ by GAYLE (Performed by Song Suffragettes – Mia Morris, Ava Paige, Autumn Nicholas, Kalie Shorr, Ava Suppelsa, and Lanie Gardner)
This was one of the songs the Song Suffragettes covered during their anniversary show and it just got stuck in my head. It’s such a mood, both in the context of a break up and when you’re just pissed off: just fuck everybody and all of the stupid things about them that irritate you. The dog is spared though, which just cracks me up. It’s so catchy and my brain was just switching back and forth between this song and ‘Humble Quest’ by Maren Morris.
Favourite Lyrics: “Dated a girl that I hate for the attention / She only made it two days, what a connection / It’s like you’d do anything for my affection / You’re goin’ all about it in the worst ways // I was into you, but I’m over it now / And I was tryin’ to be nice / But nothing’s getting through, so let me spell it out // ABCDE FU / And your mom and your sister and your job / And your broke-ass car and that shit you call art / Fuck you and your friends that I’ll never see again / Everybody but your dog, you can all fuck off / Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah / ABCDE FU”
‘half of my hometown’ by Kelsea Ballerini (Performed by Kelsea Ballerini and Nicolle Galyon)
Kelsea Ballerini was being honoured at the Song Suffragettes show (the same one Kalie was playing at) and after an interview with Nicolle Galyon (who is also very awesome), the two of them played a couple of the songs they’ve written together that Kelsea’s released. That was very cool and ‘half of my hometown’ is one of my favourite songs on Kelsea’s latest album so it was very cool to hear her sing it live. I love the detail in the lyrics that is so specific to her and yet it’s such a relatable feeling.
Favourite Lyrics: “Back roads raise us / Highways take us / Memories make us wanna go back // To our hometown, settle down / Talk about that one touchdown / Raise some kids in red and black / Go Bobcats, while the other half / Of my hometown was in the crowd / They knew the words, they sang them loud / And all I wanna do is make them proud / ‘Cause half of me will always be / From Knoxville, Tennessee / My hometown / ‘Cause I’m half of my hometown”
‘Small Town Hypocrite’ by Caylee Hammack
I first saw Caylee Hammack in 2017 – at a Tin Pan South show – and she actually played this song. Now, at my first Tin Pan South show of 2022 – my first in three years – she played it again and I was just so happy to be seeing her perform again (another thing that was taken away by the pandemic). In that time, she’s put out an album that I love and is working on her music, some of which she played during the show. She has an incredible voice, which only amplifies the emotion in the song. I also got to have a conversation with her and she’s such a sweetheart. It was, all in all, an excellent start to the festival.
Favourite Lyrics: “And that scholarship was a ship that sailed / When I chose you and daddy gave me hell / I made myself into someone else just to love you, damn, I loved you / Took all my plans and I put ’em in a box / Phantom pains for the wings I lost / Had me circling rings in the catalogs / For seven years and you never got the hint / Ain’t that some shit / I’m just a small-town hypocrite // Swore we’d be running, running, running this town / But you’re just running, running, running around / And I’m staring at a picket fence / Wondering where the hell time went / I should’ve been running, running, running by now / But I just hang around”
‘My First Last Name’ by Madison Kozak
I could’ve chosen any of the songs Madison Kozak played during her Tin Pan South show because I loved all of them but this one has always been special to me. I’ll never get to have a relationship like this with my Dad but it’s nice to imagine. It makes me super emotional but not in a negative way – or at least, not in a wholly negative way. It does make me sad but I’m grateful for the song. It reminds me of my Dad and the good parts of our relationship. It’s a beautifully written song and I can’t wait to hear the other songs she played that she’s planning to release soon.
Favourite Lyrics: “Yeah, he set the bar real high / But I met a real good guy / Still not much of a crier / Till we’re halfway down the aisle // He’s the son of the salesman / Short glass, old fashioned / ‘How are things going lately?’ / ‘Stop on by, bring the baby’ / People they say, I’m more like him everyday / He can give me away, but no one can take / My first last name”
‘i quit drinking’ by Kelsea Ballerini and LANY (Written by Kelsea Ballerini, Paul Jason Klein, and Nicolle Galyon) (Performed by Nicolle Gaylon)
I love Nicolle Galyon’s songwriting and she has a gorgeous singing voice; she makes all of these iconic songs her own and I love that she’s created a label to specifically support women. She’s just awesome and, again, I could’ve chosen any of the songs that she played. This particular festival slot was a hard one because there were multiple great shows on at that time but I’m really happy I chose this one. I also got to talk to her briefly after the show and she was really lovely. I still feel like I’m getting my feet under me socially, after so long with little in person socialisation (and so I feel very awkward still), but talking about music and songwriting is my favourite thing so that does make it easier.
Favourite Lyrics: “We used to be / Dizzy all morning / Hungover, pouring / Cups of coffee black / Kiss and crawl right back / Under the covers / Down for another / Hour in that bed / Now, I’m here instead // Waking up sober, it feels kind of nice / Except that I can’t sleep at night // You’re the reason there’s no whiskey anywhere inside this house / You’re the reason all my friends know I don’t go downtown / You’re the reason I hate champagne, never used to turn it down / You’re the only thing I want when one drop hits my mouth / Baby, you’re the reason / I quit drinking // I quit thinking (I quit thinking) / Staring at the ceiling (Oh) / And all my cabernet is down the kitchen sink, yeah (It’s down the kitchen sink, yeah) / I quit mixing (I quit mixing) / All my drinks and feelings / It’s not fixing that you’re gone”
‘Doin’ Fine’ by Lauren Alaina (Performed by Emily Shackelton)
I still remember the first time I heard Emily Shackelton play this song at a Tin Pan South round and how it just hit me; like, the autobiographical details are clearly not mine but the message of the song has been so applicable to me so many times throughout my life and here we are again and it’s still true. There was a new level of poignancy in the performance of this song though as it was written with busbee who is no longer with us – he died late 2019 – and this is the first Tin Pan South since then. Emily dedicated it to him and from what I’ve heard, he was an amazing person. I’m sorry that I never got to meet him.
Favourite Lyrics: “I’m doin’ fine enough to know that everyone’s a little broken / Fine enough to learn that hearts are best when they’re wide open / I still got fear inside of me / I’m not okay, but I’m gonna be alright / Oh, for the first time in a long, long time I’m doin’ fine / I’m doin’ fine”
‘Where Would You Rather Die?’ by Kalie Shorr
I could’ve easily chosen any and all of the songs she performed (and I have chosen two from the round because I love her songs so much) but this was the only one that was completely new to me and it just blew me away. She paints such vivid portraits with her lyrics and the fact that it was based on a real experience (although it obviously did not involve actually dying) makes it even more enjoyable. I would love a music video for this song because it’s just such a wild story.
Favourite Lyrics: THE WHOLE DAMN SONG.
I was in the presence of so many great songwriters this week, but @kalieshorr has written songs featured in Yellowstone, so how do you beat that? Plus you don’t hear a lot of songs about the pleasures of being murdered in Beverly Hills pic.twitter.com/89xOGHUGZR
— Austin Harris (@ImAustinHarris) April 4, 2022
‘The World Keeps Spinning’ by Kalie Shorr
This song gets me every time. Kalie has been open about the inspiring of the song, that it’s about her older sister’s death and while the details are specific to her life, I think it’s very easy to relate to if you’ve lost anyone, especially if they died suddenly. I relate it to my Dad. It makes me well up every time – or full on sob if I’m feeling particularly emotional – because it’s so beautifully written and gets right to the heart of grief. As sad as it is, it’s one of my favourite Kalie songs.
Favourite Lyrics: “The 5th of January is on the calendar every year / Like some kind of messed up holiday to remind me that you’re not here / I hear people laughing, I don’t get the joke / But I can’t hold it against them, cause it’s not like they know // It was just another day, until it wasn’t // The sky / Didn’t even have the decency to cry / And that damn sun still found a way to shine / When the heartache’s hitting / I think it’s kind of cruel that the world keeps spinning”
‘Crowded Table’ by The Highwomen (Performed by Natalie Hemby)
I love Natalie Hemby and she’s always the first person I look for in the Tin Pan South line-up. She’s a fantastic writer, as well as an utterly hilarious and genuinely lovely person. This song kind of reminds me of growing up: my house was always busy and there was always a lot of people around. We were a big, tight knit family (we’re still close but we’re all a bit more spread out now so getting together is harder) and we often congregated around the table at meal times. So, when I listen to it, it reminds me of that. Hearing it live was very cool and the fact that she gave me a shout out before playing this song (in front of the amazing songwriters on stage and the whole show’s audience) just makes me love this song even more; it symbolises a very special memory.
Favourite Lyrics: “The door is always open / Your picture’s on my wall / Everyone’s a little broken / And everyone belongs / Yeah, everyone belongs // I want a house with a crowded table / And a place by the fire for everyone / Let us take on the world while we’re young and able / And bring us back together when the day is done”
‘What Hurts The Most’ by Rascal Flatts (Performed by Jeffrey Steele)
Somewhat hilariously, the first version of this song that I heard – in my Dad’s car – was the more dance/club version. I have no idea why my Dad had it on a CD but hearing it still brings back fond memories. Hearing the country version for the first time was a bit of a surprise but given the memories of my Dad, I have a soft spot for it and hearing Jeffrey Steele perform it was incredible. He’s an amazing singer and an amazing guitarist; it was a bit like the musical equivalent of a religious experience.
Favourite Lyrics: “It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go / But I’m doing it / It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends / And I’m alone // Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret / But I know if I could do it over / I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart / That I left unspoken // What hurts the most / Is being so close / And having so much to say (much to say) / And watching you walk away / And never knowing / What could’ve been / And not seeing that love in you / Is what I was trying to do”
‘right where you left me’ by Taylor Swift
I was listening to evermore quite a bit, given that it was nominated for Album of the Year at the Grammys. It might not have won but it’s still an amazing album and I love it so much. ‘right where you left me’ is such a fascinating song: so specific and yet so relatable; so beautifully written, with some really cool techniques. I wrote about it in my full evermore post. I love it and it’s been stuck in my head on and off during my trip.
Favourite Lyrics: “Help, I’m still at the restaurant / Still sitting in a corner I haunt / Cross-legged in the dim light / They say, ‘What a sad sight’ / I, I swear you could hear a hair pin drop / Right when I felt the moment stop / Glass shattered on the white cloth / Everybody moved on / I, I stayed there / Dust collected on my pinned-up hair / They expected me to find somewhere / Some perspective, but I sat and stared / Right where you left me / You left me no, oh, you left me no / You left me no choice but to stay here forever” AND “Help, I’m still at the restaurant / Still sitting in a corner I haunt / Cross-legged in the dim light / They say, ‘What a sad sight’ / I, I stayed there / Dust collected on my pinned-up hair / I’m sure that you got a wife out there / Kids and Christmas, but I’m unaware / ‘Cause I’m right where / I cause no harm, mind my business / If our love died young, I can’t bear witness / And it’s been so long / But if you ever think you got it wrong / I’m right where you left me / You left me no, oh, you left me no / You left me no choice but to stay here forever”
‘HEARTFIRST’ by Kelsea Ballerini
I’ve very used to the first singles of a new chapter not landing well with me – with basically all artists – so I was very pleasantly surprised when I loved this song straight away. It’s fun, it’s adorable, and it’s so feel good. It’s so uplifting and joyful. The imagery is gorgeous and while it’s obviously about a romantic relationship, the broader idea of jumping into every thing heart first is very relatable to me.
Favourite Lyrics: “I couldn’t wait till later, talking in the elevator / Then we’re kissing in the back of the car” AND “Could be forever or we might break / That’s just the kind of risk that we take / My head is yelling that I could get hurt / But I’m gonna jump right in / Baby, with my heartfirst” AND “And I can’t even stop myself anymore / Oh, we couldn’t end the perfect night outside my front door”
So here is my Nashville 2022 playlist. There were definitely more songs I could’ve included but I tried to keep some sort of constraint on myself, otherwise this probably could’ve gone on forever. There were just so many songs to choose from, practically every day. Anyway. A musical post for a very musical trip.
Category: favourites, music, video Tagged: abcdefu, bleachers, boston, caylee hammack, circles around this town, crowded table, doin' fine, eighteen, emily shackelton, favourite lyrics, GAYLE, half of my hometown, heartfirst, humble quest, i quit drinking, i wanna get better, jeffrey steele, kalie shorr, kelsea ballerini, LANY, lauren alaina, lyrics, madison kozak, maren morris, my first last name, nashville, natalie hemby, nicolle galyon, open book, playlist, rascal flatts, right where you left me, small town hypocrite, song suffragettes, songwriter, songwriters, songwriting, songwriting festival, taylor swift, the highwomen, the world keeps spinning, tin pan south, tin pan south 2022, travel, travelling, what hurts the most, where would you rather die
Posted on April 10, 2021
I love a good week-in-my-life post and I try to do one every semester or so, since that does tend to shake my life up. Now, the semester is coming to a close and the assessments are in sight so I’m busy with uni work, with cowrites, and with health stuff. There’s a lot to juggle right now.
The week in this post begins on Monday 15th March and ends on Sunday 21st March 2021. I’d thought I’d have this up on the blog earlier than this but when I was writing it, I wasn’t thinking about the timing and then there was Autism Awareness Week to post for. But here we are, just a bit later than planned.
MONDAY
I struggled to wake up with my alarm. My sleep isn’t great at the moment and my alarms really aren’t doing their job. Most of the time I’m sleeping through them completely, which isn’t exactly ideal.
For a moment, I forgot that it had been the Grammys the night before and then suddenly it came rushing back. I went online and found out who won what. I’m sad Ingrid Andress didn’t win any of the three she was nominated for, but I am glad that The Highwomen (Brandi Carlile, Natalie Hemby, Lori McKenna, and Maren Morris) won Best Country Song, although Maren Morris won’t get a Grammy since she wasn’t a writer on the song. And then there’s Taylor Swift. I’m so, so happy that she won Album of the Year for folklore. I think she deserved more than just the one award – I mean, how did she not win Best Pop Duo/Group Performance with ‘exile featuring bon iver’?! – but I do also think it’s a good thing when there’s no one person that walks away with five or six, meaning more artists/songwriters/producers/etc are being recognised for their work (I’m not saying the Grammys are fair – we know they’re problematic – but this is one aspect that makes them fairer).
I’m so happy for her, especially after everything she’s had to deal with with her masters and still working through the fall out of everything that happened/came to a head in 2016. And I know I’m biased but it’s pretty widely acknowledged what a big deal folklore was (and is); it was absolutely the album of 2020.
I was so busy catching up with the Grammys news that I was late for my online Occupational Therapy session. Fortunately my OT therapist understands my passion for music so she didn’t mind. We ran through my exercises and she wants me to do them for a little bit longer before moving on to a new set of exercises. Having fallen down the stairs at the weekend, she warned me to take things gently – to take a bit longer if that felt safer and more comfortable – and said that an injury, even to an unconnected area, could cause a general flare up of pain. So hurray for that. Everything hurt from the fall but I figured that that was due to the actual impact (well, multiple impacts) rather than anything chronic pain related. I haven’t been dealing with this – chronic pain – long enough to be able to predict stuff like flare ups. So we’ll just have to see things go.
And then we were done. The sessions are always exhausting, even if I’m not being asked to do much. So, before I could fall asleep on the sofa (it would not be the first time), I got up and recorded the new vocals for the song I was presenting in class the next day, ‘Last One Standing.’ I really love this song so I was really nervous to hear people’s feedback; I really wanted them to like it.
I finished that and, as predicted, I fell asleep on the sofa for a couple of hours.
I had a gentle rest of the day, doing various admin tasks before starting The One on Netflix. I was craving something new. I got into it really quickly, which was great – exactly what I wanted. I only stopped when 9pm rolled around and it was time for Unforgotten, a show my whole family has loved since it began airing. We all just love Nicola Walker and I particularly love her as Cassie Stuart. Having said that, I’m struggling with this series. I think the case they’re working is super interesting – maybe the most interesting one they’ve tackled – but with Cassie feeling so trapped and angry, it’s not as enjoyable as it has been in the past so I really that hope they’re heading towards a solution that brings some of her warmth back. (It’s safe to say that I wrote this before we saw the series finale.)
TUESDAY
I was really stressing before class (we’re heading towards the assessment and I always get so anxious that I’m not doing enough) and somewhat frantically messaging with my friend. She suggested we have a a quick video chat before the class started and that really helped to ground me. Then we signed into our class.
We didn’t have our normal (awesome) tutor but we had another awesome tutor; I’ve had her as a tutor a handful of times since I first started at ICMP, on the BA, and she’s really great. Throw in the fact that we were presenting our ekphrasis songs (songs that were responses to other pieces of art, like visual art, films, etc) and it was a really interesting and thought provoking session. The brief had really stretched people and the songs were all so exciting and so different in the best possible way. I loved all of them.
I was last and VERY nervous because I was (and am) so attached to my song. Fortunately though, everyone really liked it and had some really great responses, some really interesting thoughts, and some good things to think about in the redrafting process. I was so happy with the positive response that I finished the class feeling like I was glowing. My first ‘glowy moment’ of the year – that’s what I used to call the really awesome moments. It’s been a really long time since I’ve felt like I had a reason to use the phrase.
I meant to have a nap between classes – that always makes it easier to concentrate in the second class, which is, after all, three hours long – but I accidentally ended up binge-watching The One. It’s so compelling and so thought-provoking, in so many different ways.

The seminar was on authenticity but having studied authenticity in song lyrics pretty extensively for my Musicology essay, it was all pretty familiar. So while it wasn’t too intellectually taxing, I was tired and it was hard to stay focussed. I didn’t mind three hour classes when I was actually in them but I do find three hour classes on Zoom a struggle.
When the class was over, I curled up on the sofa and finished The One; the last episode was just one mind-blowing revelation after another. It was so good. I found Rebecca a particularly fascinating character; there was so much to unravel. Both Hannah Ware (Rebecca Webb) and Zoë Tapper (Kate Saunders) deliver incredible performances and there’s so much potential for another series. Me and my friend, Luce, (who was an episode behind me) freaked out together when she finished it about an hour later.
I’m always exhausted on a Tuesday, even if I do manage a nap, and I was falling asleep on the sofa around ten. So I dragged myself up and headed for bed. That’s pretty early for me these days. I’ve been trying to get to bed earlier so that wasn’t the worst thing in the world.
WEDNESDAY
I slept really badly but I didn’t sleep in. I was still in pain so I couldn’t get back to sleep anyway and at some point during the pandemic, I started feeling guilty if I slept in (this is super unhealthy, I know – I’m working on it in therapy) so I got up, had a shower and breakfast, and got to work. I did some uni stuff and then wrote down my thoughts to collect myself before a meeting with my course leader.
The meeting was about the final module of the Masters, which is called the Major Repertoire Project where we can research and create a body of work about anything we want. I know what I want to centre my project around (I’ll share soon but I want to get the current module done first) but you can take various approaches to the research and I wanted to talk to my course leader about that. We had a really in depth discussion and she gave me some really good ideas to think about. So I’ve got a lot to figure out but I’m really excited to get into it.
As good as the meeting was, I was really tired afterwards. I got comfortable and tried my best to concentrate on blog post writing. It took hours but eventually I managed to finish my blog post on being diagnosed with ADHD. At least I had a pretty good view while I worked.

Mid afternoon, I was supposed to have a phone call appointment with a neurologist. And I did, except they called two hours late, it wasn’t the person it was supposed to be, and then they basically spent twenty five minutes trying to convince my Mum and I that any tests they do as a department would probably be a waste of time and likely wouldn’t show anything. And that was it. The call ended and I just felt confused and upset. Isn’t the point of a doctor to help you, rather than convince you that trying to find an answer to your problems is a waste of everyone’s time? I mean, I was referred to the neurologist by my GP because she thought this was worth investigating. And then I finally get to see said neurologist after rescheduling and it felt like they were fobbing me off from the moment the call started. So, that was… yeah.
I was all over the place and Mum did her best to distract me. She’d seen bits of The One (although I’d managed to prevent her from seeing anything too spoiler-y) but she wanted to see the whole show so we started it again; she was hooked straight away, just like I was. As we watched, I started doing some basic research based on the Major Rep Project seeds that my course leader had planted in my brain; I didn’t get very far but it was definitely interesting and a good distraction from real life.
And then I went to bed, completely exhausted. It was barely ten thirty.
THURSDAY
I struggled up with my early alarm but all of my careful planning for the day had fallen apart before ten am. I’d had two cowrites booked for the day but then one of them needed rearranging so I suddenly had to try and rearrange the whole day. I was majorly stressing that I was going to have to cancel on somebody but fortunately I was able to rework everything so that I could work with both people.
I had a shower and breakfast before finishing the lyrics to a song I’d been working on and speaking to Richard about the plans for the acoustic videos (the ones I’ve been releasing over the last few weeks). Then I worked on blog post stuff until it was time for my first cowrite. My friend, Anna, and I worked on a really cool song that she’d brought a draft of to the sessions and we were both so proud of it when finished. It has some really great metaphors and imagery and we tightened up this awesome outro that she’d proposed. I feel like we created something really special and that felt so good.
When we hung up, I had an hour to eat a really late lunch (and watch some more of The One with my Mum) before my second writing session, this time with my friend, Dan. He didn’t have a draft like Anna but we’d been messaging about what to write about: he’d sent me some themes, I proposed some more concrete ideas, and then he chose one that resonated for us to work on.
We decided to call it quits after a couple of hours and although we hadn’t finished the song we’d started, I feel like we’d made a really solid start on a really interesting song. I really liked what we’d come up with and Dan seemed to feel good about it too.
I feel like my writing has improved so much over the last few months and it felt particularly strong that day. I just felt like everything I was coming out with was good, not necessarily right for the song of the moment but still good. And that felt kind of amazing. Obviously not every day or every session is like that but every now and then it happens and it’s so, so satisfying; it gives you such a motivation boost. And remembering days like that one are really helpful on the days when it feels like everything you write is complete crap. So it was a good day, despite the stressful start, and I felt really positive about my writing and my friendships and my creative relationships and my course. It was a good day.
I was exhausted and starving by the time we finished but in a good way, in the way where you’ve worked really hard and you need to replenish, in the satisfying way. Mum and I finished The One with dinner and she was as blown away as I’d been. It was fun to have someone to talk about it and dissect it with; there are so many interesting and thought-provoking ideas in there.
Even though it was already late, I couldn’t help doing some more research into some of the ideas my course leader had suggested before forcibly reminding myself that that was not the time to be getting into complicated academic research, that I needed to disconnect and go to bed.
FRIDAY
For the first time in a really long time, I slept super deeply and actually woke up feeling somewhat human and not a zombie.
After a quick shower and breakfast, my Mum and I headed down to the GP surgery for another set of blood tests. I’ve completely forgotten what they’re for or who requested them with so many people involved right now but apparently they might give us more insight into my fatigue. The nurse was lovely and the whole thing was super quick and efficient.
Back home, I did some work for uni and typed up my notes from my meeting with my course leader, including some of the resources I’d started to find the night before. I wanted to get it all down before I started to forget things. This project feels so huge right now – I’m sure it will start to feel more manageable and achievable once I’m actually working on it and not just thinking about it in broad strokes – so I don’t know what I’m going to need to remember at this point.
I worked up until my therapy session, which are still online at this point. I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again: in person is better and, personally, I find it more helpful but I’m grateful to still have access to therapy at all so I’m not complaining. Since I’ve been in a better place, we talked about that and what’s contributed to that. I told her about my first glowy moment – the first one in so long – and she was so excited so we enthused about that together. But we also talked about how difficult I’ve been finding it to start on the assessment work; maybe it’s my anxiety around assessments, maybe it’s the untreated ADHD, maybe it’s a combination of both. It’s also just irritating to have to focus on the paperwork side of things when I just want to keep writing madly.
It was an okay session. Between all of the pandemic stuff and having sessions online, I find it hard to get into things deeply enough to really move forward. So mostly it’s been about coping, which is necessary but also really frustrating. It’s felt like a year of treading water when I’m just so desperate to make some progress, of any kind.
I spent the afternoon doing various admin, like emails and so on, and more uni work. And then, early evening, I uploaded the first of the acoustic session videos. Working with Sunburst Sessions (back in February 2020), we’d made a video for each track of the Honest EP but I obviously hadn’t finished releasing the EP at that point, hence why they’re only coming out now. I’m going in order of the EP tracklist so the first one up was ‘Bad Night.’
The video up and shared to all of my social media and WhatsApp groups etc, I had a long catch up on FaceTime with one of my parents before having dinner with my Mum. It was pretty late by that point and we were both tired so we watched a couple of episodes of Episodes (it’s one of our comfort shows – it’s not emotionally heavy and both Tamsin Greig and Stephen Mangan are brilliant).
I’m still sore from falling down the stairs so Mum gave me a massage (I’m so freaking lucky to have a massage therapist for a mother) and then we both headed to bed.
SATURDAY
I was awake on and off throughout the night and I was wide awake between four and six am. Ugh. And then, of course, I fell into a really deep sleep that was a really struggle to wake up from. And because I’d slept later than usual – later than I usually start taking my current daily painkillers – I was in so much pain that I could barely move. I had to eat and wait for them to kick in before I could manage a shower. So… not the best start to the morning.
When I finally made it to the living room, Mum and I did the Census and then I logged into the blog and posted my International Day of Happiness post.
I spent the rest of the morning working through the feedback I’d received on my songs from this semester, which made the task of choosing songs for the assessment portfolio much more straightforward: I don’t think any of the songs I’ve presented are bad but there were some obvious standouts, all of which were actually in line with my gut instinct about what to submit. I just needed to work on them, based on the feedback, and then pull the paperwork together: the various drafts, the feedback, my notes, etc.
Early afternoon I had a writing session with my friend, Phill, but we ended up deciding that we’d gotten as far as we could online and so we’re gonna continue working on the song when we can meet up in person. We’re just having trouble with the lag time. I’m happy to do that and although that was the writing session effectively over, we stayed on the video call and just had a really fun and chilled out chat, which was really nice. Because socialising has to be so organised now, I’ve definitely found myself having fewer spontaneous and casual chats with people and I’ve missed that. So it was a really nice few hours.
After we hung up, I had some chill time. I was having a quick scroll through Instagram when I saw that Natalie Hemby, a songwriter I really admire, had posted about Travis Meadows, another songwriter I really admire, and how he’s been through A LOT recently…
I love Travis Meadows and his music so I went straight to the gofundme page. The video he’d made the week before, sharing for himself what had happened, was incredibly moving. I donated what I could and shared the fundraiser on all of my socials. (The fundraiser has since met its goal but is still open – I’m sure the hospital bills, past and ongoing, are much more than the original goal set.)
One of my parents came over for a bubble dinner and we watched Lucifer together and then I watched my friend Luce‘s online show. She played some great covers and acoustic versions of the songs she’s already released but she also played some new songs and they were incredible. They were so powerful. I can’t wait for everyone to hear what she’s working on because it’s truly amazing.
When her show finished, I had a couple of FaceTime calls with various family members and then went to bed. It was still really early – not even ten thirty – but I was exhausted.
SUNDAY
I didn’t wake up until half nine and when I opened my eyes, I found three of the five cats watching me. Clearly it was long past breakfast time and they were impatiently waiting for me to deliver. So I dragged myself up, fed the clamouring masses (this is sarcasm just in case you couldn’t tell – I adore them), and had a shower, before settling in the living room.
I ate breakfast in front of the Netflix short Creating The Queen’s Gambit. I loved it, loved seeing how the whole thing came together, from the really obvious creative choices (like Beth’s hair and the sets) to the tiniest of details (like the interactions between the characters); it just made me want to watch the show again but I just don’t have the time right now. I would want to pay attention to all of those details and right now I have too much to do; the TV is pretty much just there for background noise at the moment.
I spent the morning working on my notes for my assessment portfolio. I was due to have a cowrite in the afternoon but then that got rescheduled to the next day. But I made use of the time: I spent several hours working on a research proposal for a Musicology conference. I’d absolutely love to present at this conference, so much so that it’s probably making me super perfectionistic about it. So I’m trying – I really am – to dial that back so that I can actually write the damn proposal. Because if I don’t write the proposal, I definitely don’t get to present at the conference.
After a few hours on that, I went back to my portfolio notes. It wasn’t a particularly interesting day but it was busy. I got a lot done.
Then, in the evening, I had another bubble dinner: pizza, Lucifer, and catching up. It was really nice. I couldn’t totally relax – I did a bit more uni work and some writing for various blog posts – but I had a really good evening. And then I went to bed early, completely knackered.
So it was a super busy week. But that’s not exactly new. I’ve been battling all semester with the danger of burning myself out before the assessment. I know that I really need to manage myself better. It’s just that sometimes my enthusiasm gets the better of me, especially when it comes to music things.
As I post this, classes have ended and the assessment deadline is coming up so I really need to concentrate on that. I just wish concentrating was easier. The practical work I don’t seem to have a problem with but the analysis – an essay that’s not really an essay – has me banging my head against my desk. It’s such a simple, straightforward task and yet I’m finding it so difficult. And on that note, I’m going to post this and go and work on it. Because there’s a hundred and one more things to do after I do that.
Category: adhd, animals, anxiety, autism, covid-19 pandemic, emotions, heds, mental health, music, sleep, therapy, university, video, writing Tagged: a week in my life, acoustic sessions, adhd, assessment, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, blog writing, blogging, blood test, cat, cats, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, conference, coronavirus, covid-19, cowriting, cowriting session, creating the queen's gambit, dbt, dialectical behaviour therapy, ekphrasis, episodes, facetime, family, family of cats, folklore, friend, friends, glowy moment, grammys 2021, heds, honest ep, honest ep (sunburst sessions), hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome, luce, major repertoire project, march 2021, masters, masters degree, masters degree in songwriting, masters degree year two, masters part time, musicology conference, my cats, natalie hemby, neurologist, nicola walker, occupational therapy, online classes, online concert, online learning, online university, pain, pandemic, pandemic 2020, pandemic anxiety, part time masters student, perfectionism, perfectionist, remote therapy, remote writing session, research conference, research proposal, seminar, singersongwriter, sleep, songwriter, songwriting, sunburst sessions, taylor swift, the highwomen, the one, the one netflix, the queen's gambit, therapy, travis meadows, unforgotten, university, university assessment, week in my life, writing session

Hi! I’m Lauren Alex Hooper. Welcome to my little blog! I write about living with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), ADHD (Inattentive Type), and Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS), as well as several mental health issues.
I’m a singer-songwriter (it’s my biggest special interest and I have both a BA and MA in songwriting) so I’ll probably write a bit about that too.
My first single, ‘Invisible,’ is on all platforms, with all proceeds going to Young Minds.
My debut EP, Honest, is available on all platforms, with a limited physical run at Resident Music in Brighton.
I’m currently working on an album about my experiences as an autistic woman.
Hi! I’m Lauren Alex Hooper. Welcome to my little blog! I write about living with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), ADHD (Inattentive Type), and Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS), as well as several mental health issues.
I’m a singer-songwriter (it’s my biggest special interest and I have both a BA and MA in songwriting) so I’ll probably write a bit about that too.
My first single, ‘Invisible,’ is on all platforms, with all proceeds going to Young Minds.
My debut EP, Honest, is available on all platforms, with a limited physical run at Resident Music in Brighton.
I’m currently working on an album about my experiences as an autistic woman.
Finding Hope