Posted on October 16, 2022
I really wasn’t sure whether I’d get this blog post up but I’d managed to write a good chunk of it and it seemed a shame to let it go unfinished. The last year has been a struggle and the last six months have been horrendous; my depression has been suffocating and has definitely impacted my ability to engage with and enjoy things. So there are fewer albums this year than there have been previously, fewer than I would’ve liked had all things been normal. I know the theme this year is debut albums but I’d already written a significant amount of this post before that was announced and, if I’m honest, I just don’t have it in me at the moment to completely rewrite this post. Life is hard right now; I’m doing the best I can.
At War With The Silver Fish by Laura Jane Grace (September 2021) – One of the things I love about Laura Jane Grace’s music is how deeply it can vary; I’m not very good at identifying genres but each track sounded so different, which was really cool, especially when it’s only about fourteen minutes long in total. Some of the instrumentation and production I didn’t like but the parts that I did, I loved: I loved the instrumentation of ‘Electro-Static Sweep’; I loved the beat and the guitar and the gorgeous, hazy vibe of ‘Lolo 13’; and I loved the production of ‘Yesterday Pt. II.’ I also really liked a lot of the lyrics too. The opening line of ‘Three of Hearts’ – “Three of hearts, two of them are broken / One of them is gold, all of them are worthless” – which is the opening line of the EP, got me straight away. ‘Lolo 13’ was probably my favourite lyrically: I loved the detail, the visual imagery, and the dreamlike quality of the whole thing, with lines like, “I asked for your name three times / Just to make sure that I heard it right / You told me my jeans don’t fit right / Said that we should make out sometime,” “We met on a night / That my mind made up,” and “Does a mirror have two sides? / Are you waking up in your real life / Too much fun to have in this life / Will you find me on the other side?” I loved it. On listening to ‘Day Old Coffee,’ I burst out laughing because while I wouldn’t have phrased it as such, I definitely identified with the feeling and it was just kind of bizarre to hear that feeling stated so explicitly: “Day old coffee microwaved to boiling / Pour it on my eyeballs and boil my dumb shit brains out,” “‘Cause I don’t ever want to hear or think or speak again / I don’t ever want to hear or think or speak again,” and “What’s with all the questions? / To whom do I owe the pleasure? / To whom do I owe the obligation?” Like, it’s not a fun or funny feeling to experience but hearing it out loud shocked a laugh out of me. I kind of wish ‘Smug Fuckface’ had a different title since the song starts on such a different emotional note, which would make the twist halfway through that much more surprising. It’s a really interesting little song: it’s less than two minutes long but it covers such a rollercoaster of emotions and thoughts. It’s a really cool little EP and I look forward to whatever Laura Jane Grace creates next.
Favourite Tracks: ‘Lolo 13’ and ‘Smug Fuckface.’
It’s Hard To Be Human by Kina Grannis (October 2021) – I’ve been listening to Kina Grannis on and off since approximately 2011 and some of her songs, particularly ‘California,’ have had pretty dramatic impacts on my life so I was very excited to find out that she was releasing a new album and one with a title that felt very fitting for my state of mind at the time (and quite a long time afterwards). Sometimes, if I haven’t listened to her music for a while, I seem to forget just how deeply her music affects me. She’s an incredible writer; I have no idea how she isn’t more famous, isn’t a superstar (one of her own design though, not one molded by others). I loved almost every single song on the album.
I’d heard Future Memories before hearing the album and it’s so beautiful with the delicate guitar and vocal. The lyrics are just so heartbreaking (“We watch the leaves unfolding quietly / No tugging at the time or way of things / And we mirror both the growth and withering”) and the evolution of the story throughout the song (from “We’re in the garden smiling / I didn’t notice how much love I’ve known” to “We’re in the garden laughing / I didn’t notice how much you had grown” to “He’s in the garden crying / I didn’t notice yet that I had gone”) is so beautifully done.
‘It’s Hard To Be Human’ is one of my favourite tracks on the album. It’s sad but also warm and comforting and I know I’ll listen to this in the future while in tears, for both good and bad reasons. The lyrics are stunning (“We just keep spinnin’ and everyone’s hurt / Both of us talking but no one feels heard,” “It’s hard to be human and hard to grow up / I just keep trying and keep messin’ up / And maybe I’m learnin’ and findin’ my way / But how could I feel this and still be okay?” and “I’m sittin’ here, starin’ at the gutter / Wonderin’ why I feel sorry for myself / If we keep hurtin’ one another starts to color / How we’re doin’ it to ourselves”) and I loved her description of spontaneous songwriting: “Can you pull the car over? I need to slow down / Get some words lined up and see how they sound.” It’s so real and raw. The structure of the song is interesting; what sounds like a prechorus when first sung repeats as the final section of the song. It’s so beautiful and feels so profound: “I know you never wanna get me down / But it’s a steep road I’m walkin’ on / You know I never wanna get you down / But it’s a bit late, now.” It’s the promise we make to people we love but not everyone can keep it.
Another stunning song is ‘Love Anyway.’ The lyrics were just gorgeous; they flowed beautifully and all of the internal rhyming made me so happy (what can I say – I’m a songwriting nerd). I loved all of the imagery: “I woke to a bitter scene / The whole world was crumblin’ / I cried to the guileless moon / The wolves came to comfort me / And just as I fell asleep / I heard they were crying too,” “As dewdrops and morning fell / The sun came and wished me well,” “I sat in the broken weeds / And wove them into tapestries,” and “Feeling that we are all the same / All of one heartbeat, different names.” And the bridge is just stunning: the lyrics build beautifully (from “How do we get to the other side of this?” to “How do we get through the fight in it?” to “How do we get to the light in it?”), as do the vocals and harmonies, making it a deeply emotional and uplifting section. The only snag for me is that I find the chorus line a little cliché, something that’s just a bit more noticeable when the rest of the lyrics are so well crafted.
While ‘Quiet’ didn’t connect with me as deeply as some of the others, I thought it built beautifully and powerfully (in the emotional sense) throughout the song and I loved the mention to her album, Stairwells: “I never knew where I belonged / Searched for myself in every song / But I’d had it in the stairwells all along.” I thought that was gorgeous.
‘I Never Wanted Anything More Than I Wanted You’ broke my heart on first listen. The lyrics were so emotional and I immediately thought it was about wanting a baby, something (as well as infertility, IVF, and more recently the birth of her daughter) that Kina has talked about on social media over the years. When I looked it up later, Genius stated: “Kina Grannis and her husband Jesse Epstein have been open about their fertility struggles and their miscarriage in the past, and “I Never Wanted Anything More Than I Wanted You” is about the couple’s miscarriage of their dearly anticipated daughter. The song details Kina’s struggles with the loss, her tiredness from the grief, and the couple’s dreams of a family.” And, in the description of the music video, Kina wrote: “The first time these words came out of my mouth I immediately started crying. There’s something powerful that happens when you admit to yourself out loud the extent to which you are yearning for something, the extent to which you are hurting. It can break your heart into a million little pieces, but somehow that’s better than the pressure cooker of trying to dismiss your emotions and make them smaller. Acknowledging and respecting where I was at allowed me to fully step into my heartache and give myself permission to feel all these things, and in some ways it was a first step in realizing I needed to be a bit kinder to myself, too. This is a song about yearning and loss and the delicate balance of trying to accept the path you’re on while not letting it rob you of hope in the process.” That only made it more heartbreaking. It’s a beautiful, beautiful song but it’s just so sad; I hate to think of her feeling the way the song describes. I could probably include all of the lyrics but the ones that hit me the hardest were “I’m at my lowest, caught in a moment / Tryna to get over this,” “I feel you in the sea, washing over me / Something in the movin’ tides / Every fallen leaf seems to say to me / ‘Everything in time,'” and the chorus line of “I never wanted anything more than I wanted you” just, as I said, breaks my heart. The piano part is gorgeous too and fits the song perfectly.
‘Oh What A Love’ is a gorgeous little love song. It has some really stunning imagery (my favourite is “Oh what a love we have / Watched as it sank under water”) and some beautifully simple statements that, to me at least, make love songs all the more poignant, like “Our love is our love.” It sounds lovely too, with some exquisite layering of instruments, vocals, and backing vocals.
While the choruses of ‘Crawl’ didn’t quite land for me, I love what Kina has written about it: “This song is about the chapter that comes after the knockdown – the chapter where you start to come to again, and though you’re weak and hollowed out and broken, you’re ready to start trying to put the pieces back together. To me, it feels like the beginning of healing. Or maybe the beginning of being WILLING to heal. It’s about baby steps and celebrating the small wins and giving yourself grace on the occasions you might momentarily stumble back into the dark. ‘Crawl’ found its way to me in a dire moment and served as a little mantra I could sing to myself as I ever-so-slowly trudged my way back to myself.” I can definitely relate to that sentiment. To all of it. Of the song itself, I really loved the verses: I thought the lyrics, and the imagery in them, were just beautiful. The first verse in particular resonated so deeply: “Knock on the door / I’m afraid of all the things / That I am not anymore” and “Just like before / I am scattered trying to find the parts of me / On the floor.” And the second verse was just as gorgeous: “You and the stars / Make a list of pretty things to fill my day / Bless your heart” and “You deal the cards / And it’s better when I seem to drift away / From the dark.”
‘Another Way’ is another of the album highlights, along with ‘It’s Hard To Be Human,’ ‘Love Anyway,’ and ‘I Never Wanted Anything More Than I Wanted You.’ And like ‘It’s Hard To Be Human,’ it has a deep and moving message, one that’s easy to forget in the chaotic world we’re trying to navigate: “Maybe this could be / Exactly what should be.” The lyrics in the verses are simple but powerful, demonstrating how we can turn our obsessive worrying on its head: “How would you know if what you’re needing / Isn’t something you’re not seeing / What if you lost the chance to be what you could be,” “How would you know that something better / Wasn’t waiting for bad weather / To soak its seeds, to give you everything you need,” and “How would you know if someone wiser / Wasn’t forging in these fires / What if you’d washed away what could’ve set you free.” I’m not sure how well they translate on paper (or simply as text) but, paired with the melody, the song is really beautiful. And I liked that the bridge wasn’t preach-y. Rather than trying to tell the listener how to change their thinking, she’s simply and gently opening the door to the possibility that we don’t have to worry the way we do. That’s the first step: “So what if we choose that we’ll let go of / All the things we’ve no control of / What if we learn to love whatever comes to be.” It’s a gorgeous song, another gorgeous song on a gorgeous album.
This has gotten long but it’s a beautiful album and I highly recommend it.
Favourite Tracks: ‘It’s Hard To Be Human,’ ‘Love Anyway,’ ‘I Never Wanted Anything More Than I Wanted You,’ ‘Oh What A Love, ‘ ‘Crawl,’ and ‘Another Way.’
Season Two by Jaz Beeson (October 2021) – There’s something gorgeously cohesive about this body of work, sonically and lyrically, with its lively production, catchy melodies, and light, delicate vocals. I thought ‘Short, Sweet Summer’ was a cool introduction to the project, hazy and atmospheric (although a bit sonically busy for my personal taste). I liked the concept, as well as the concepts of ‘Midnight Crush’ and ‘Honey & Sunflower Seeds’ (although the bridge made me sad) in particular. There was a lot of stunning imagery and beautiful lyrical details, especially in ‘Honey & Sunflower Seeds,’ ‘Feel Alive,’ ‘Coffee Machine Sounds’ (I loved the sense of urgency in this song, conveyed both through the lyrics and the production), and ‘Wanna Know.’ I also really liked the melodic rhythms and uplifting vibe in the latter. It was a really great choice for a single. The one thing that I struggled with it, throughout the tracklist, was that I wish the vocals were a little higher in the mix because I felt like I was missing the lyrics at certain points, which was a shame when I was enjoying the lyrics so much.
Favourite Tracks: ‘Short, Sweet Summer,’ ‘Wanna Know,’ and ‘Coffee Machine Sounds.’
Red (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift (November 2021) – After my experience with Fearless (Taylor’s Version), I was prepared to feel somewhat thrown by the differences between the original tracks and rerecordings and thrown I was: the drum and electric guitar sounds in ‘State Of Grace (Taylor’s Version)’; the electric guitar in ‘I Knew You Were Trouble (Taylor’s Version)’; the electric guitar sounds in ‘All Too Well (Taylor’s Version)’; the guitars and vocal effects in ’22 (Taylor’s Version)’; the chorus vocals in ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together (Taylor’s Version)’; the messiness of the dueting vocals in ‘The Last Time (Taylor’s Version) [feat. Gary Lightbody]’ (and while their vocals aren’t bad, I’d rank them lowest on the album when they were some of my favourites on the original album); the vocal effects in ‘Begin Again (Taylor’s Version)’; oh, and the complete re-production of ‘Girl At Home (Taylor’s Version)’ surprised me (sometimes I think I’m the only person who likes the original production). I don’t dislike it but as fun as it is, I think I preferred the original. Not a hill I feel the need to die on though; both are good.
That’s not to say that they don’t sound good; I just felt like the changes were very noticeable. ‘Red (Taylor’s Version)’, ‘All Too Well (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘I Almost Do (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘Sad Beautiful Tragic (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘The Moment I Knew (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘State Of Grace (Acoustic Version) (Taylor’s Version),’ and ‘Ronan (Taylor’s Version)’ all sound incredible, particularly the vocals. And I feel like the backing vocals are even more gorgeous on this version of the album than the original. But then Taylor’s vocals have come a long way over the last ten years.
The vault tracks – almost a whole new album’s worth of songs – are awesome. They fill out the story and provide so much more insight into the relationship and the situation, even more than I thought possible, especially given how incredibly raw the original album felt. The themes of the album are reinforced, the imagery more vivid, the details of the story even more heartbreaking with the new context: the songs are all so intricately interwoven. ‘Better Man (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)’ is really powerful (although I did find the melody changes a bit jarring) and it’s so cool to have Taylor’s version of it. ‘Nothing New (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) [feat. Phoebe Bridgers]’ is stunning but heart-wrenching: I definitely relate, both in terms of growing up and in terms of the music industry. It breaks my heart that Taylor was feeling like this at twenty two and as beautiful as the song is, I am personally kind of glad that it wasn’t released on the original album because knowing Taylor was feeling that way would’ve been devastating; I found ‘The Lucky One’ upsetting enough as it was. It’s not so bad hearing it now, given that Taylor seems to be in a hugely creative and positive place in her life, despite everything that’s happened. I am glad that we finally have a female-female duet, especially one that’s making such an important point about what it’s like to be a woman in the music industry. I’ve always loved ‘Babe’ so it’s really cool to hear Taylor’s version of it and the “What about your promises, promises, babe?” backing vocal is an interesting addition that distinguishes it from the original release. ‘Message In A Bottle (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)’ is really fun but I definitely think Taylor made the right choice when she chose the three Martin/Shellback collaborations; I just think those three are tighter and convey the themes of the album better. ‘I Bet You Think About Me (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) [feat. Chris Stapleton]’ cracks me up; when I first heard the lyric, “I bet you think about me in your house / With your organic shoes and your million-dollar couch,” sung with such petulance, I burst out laughing. While I tend to prefer the sadder songs, I think it’s a brilliantly petty response to a relationship where her partner clearly belittled her and thought himself superior. And the music video is hilarious. ‘Forever Winter (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)’ is probably my least favourite vault track, I think because the contrast between the serious subject matter and the upbeat music just doesn’t work for me. I think it’s lovely in how heartfelt it is but I don’t think it’s as lyrically sophisticated as most of the other songs on the album and in the Red vault. I really liked ‘Run (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) [feat. Ed Sheeran]’ and it’s my favourite of Taylor’s collaborations with Ed Sheeran (although I can understand why she chose ‘Everything Has Changed’ for the original album); I love how delicate it sounds. ‘The Very First Night (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)’ wasn’t a favourite initially but it’s grown on me over time. While the chorus feels a little clichéd in places, I love the imagery and detail in the verses and pre-choruses, plus the melodies are super catchy.
And then we have ‘All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault).’ I don’t think I can describe my thoughts and feelings about it any better than I did in my 2021 in Songs post: “I could talk about this song forever but I’ll try to be concise. The lyrics are beautiful, some of her best, and they tell us so much more of the story than the original cut. It connects to so many songs on the album, even more than it did before, and really broadens our understanding of both that time and what came after. I also love how naturally it flows through different phases of emotion (the fondness, the longing, the loss, the confusion, the shame, the anger, the pain, the invalidation, the grief…) without losing its way. And I think part of why it means so much to me (apart from my original attachment to the song and the album) is because of how, emotionally, it mirrors an experience I had. Lyrics like “And I was thinking on the drive down, any time now / He’s gonna say it’s love, you never called it what it was / ‘Til we were dead and gone and buried / Check the pulse and come back swearing it’s the same,” “You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath,” “You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine / And that made me want to die / The idea you had of me, who was she? / A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you,” and “Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it / I’d like to be my old self again, but I’m still trying to find it” all bring back memories of that person and that time and while it was heartbreaking and traumatic, it is part of who I am. I think being able to pour all of that emotion into a song – and a song that good – is an incredible feat.”
Something that I love about getting vault tracks with each album rerecorded is that, while the rerecording of the albums allow her to retake the masters, the vault tracks – with their new details, new layers, new perspectives – allow her to retake the narrative. Every album tells a story and she’s making that story her own again.
Favourite Tracks: ‘Red (Taylor’s Version)’, ‘I Knew You Were Trouble (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘All Too Well (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘I Almost Do (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘Sad Beautiful Tragic (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘Starlight (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘The Moment I Knew (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘Ronan (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘Better Man (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault),’ ‘Nothing New (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) [feat. Phoebe Bridgers],’ ‘Babe (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault),’ ‘Run (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) [feat. Ed Sheeran],’ ‘The Very First Night (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault),’ and ‘All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault).’
Thrive by Cassadee Pope (October 2021) – I get so nostalgic when I listen to Cassadee Pope. I remember being sixteen and listening to ‘Candles’ and anxiously awaiting her solo EP a year later when it was delayed for release on iTunes by a few days. I remember combing YouTube for videos during her pre-Frame by Frame tour and falling in love with ‘I Wish I Could Break Your Heart,’ ‘This Car,’ and ‘Easier to Lie,’ in particular. I remember hearing Emily Shackelton performing ‘Summer’ at Tin Pan South, the first year I visited Nashville, and then being so excited when I heard Cassadee would be releasing it… Looking back, I’m kind of amazed at how long I’ve been listening to her. There aren’t many artists that I’ve listened to so consistently for so long. There’s something so fundamentally her about her music; I’d recognise a song of hers from the moment she started singing. I love her sound: a unique mix of pop, pop-rock, and country (I believe she was quoted as saying “this pop-punk country record that has country lyrics and storylines, but leans a little bit more pop-rock, pop-punk when it comes to sonically and melodies”). And I love the production: the guitar sounds are gorgeous and her vocals are stunning as always (apart from ‘No Now,’ which sounded a bit strained but the vocal recording sounded different from the others so maybe the recording process was different for that song). The album is full of great songs: ‘Same Old Brand New Me’ and ‘Thrive’ are awesome and empowering; songs like ‘Say It First,’ ‘Break Too,’ and ‘No Now’ are so sad but so real; and songs like ‘Some People’ have that classic Cassadee sass.
Favourite Tracks: ‘Welcome,’ ‘Same Old Brand New Me,’ ‘Say It First,’ ‘Break Too,’ ‘Thrive,’ ‘Some People,’ ‘Remedy,’ and ‘No Now.’
10 Year Plan by The Shires (March 2022) – There’s a lot I like about this album: the melodies are great, they’re great vocalists, and some of the songs have some lovely concepts that play out beautifully (‘Side By Side,’ ’10 Year Plan,’ and ‘A Bar Without You,’ for example). I also really liked the production in a lot of the songs, like ‘I See Stars’ and ‘A Bar Without You’ (although the latter doesn’t feel very country); it felt really full and rich. Having said that, Ben and Crissie didn’t sound as consistently gorgeous as they usually do. In songs like ‘Cut Me Loose,’ ‘Sparks Fly,’ ‘I See Stars,’ and ‘When It Hurts,’ they sound great, separately and together (one of my favourite things about them is how great they sound together), there were other songs where I just felt like they didn’t sound like themselves at all. In ‘Plot Twist,’ Crissie doesn’t sound like herself and in ’10 Year Plan,’ Ben doesn’t sound like himself either. I believe they said the album was recorded remotely and I wonder if that’s the cause since I’ve never felt tripped up by their sound before.
I think the inclusion of ‘Peggy I’m Sorry (Demo)’ is really interesting because the style of the songwriting is so different to how they usually write. Over the last few albums, I’ve struggled with many of the songs feeling somewhat vague, like they could be about anyone; they just don’t feel real to me and so I find it hard to feel invested in the songs and the stories they’re telling. They sound great but the emotional attachment isn’t the same as it is with writers/artists like Taylor Swift and Maren Morris, for example. I think this song (and certain other songs from previous albums like ‘Nashville Grey Skies,’ ‘Made in England,’ and ‘Daddy’s Little Girl’) is an example that they could write more specifically and personally with the same (and possibly more) success. I’ve just been finding the typical love songs and clichés a bit tiring when they’ve already proved that they’re capable of more – of more depth – than that.
Overall though, while I have mixed feelings about this album, I do like it more than the last one.
Favourite Tracks: ‘Cut Me Loose,’ ‘Side by Side,’ ’10 Year Plan,’ ‘A Bar Without You,’ ‘Peggy I’m Sorry (Demo),’ and ‘When It Hurts.’
Humble Quest by Maren Morris (March 2022) – I was a little unsure about this album since the first single, ‘Circles Around This Town,’ took a while to grow on me but from my first listen-through, I loved it. I loved that you can hear ‘echoes’ of Hero and Girl but there’s also a new sound that’s unique to this new album; it felt like the growth was very organic and very authentic. ‘Circles Around This Town’ felt like the perfect first single and first track on the album, reflecting on the past, building on it with the present, and looking to the future with lyrics like “I still got the pedal down” and “I still get lost, I still get found.” It just felt really fitting. Her vocals are as gorgeous as always (‘Background Music’ and ‘Nervous’ stood out in particular) and there are some absolutely stunning lyrics (‘Humble Quest,’ ‘Background Music,’ and ‘What Would This World Do?’ jump out at me but most of the songs have at least one pure gold lyric) – sometimes I think they get overlooked because she has such an incredible voice. And something that instantly jumped out at me was that there was more of her signature wit and sass than there was on Girl, in general but specifically in songs like ‘I Can’t Love You Anymore’ and ‘Tall Guys.’ I also feel like some of her cowrites are quite recognisable at this point. Like, I just knew ‘Nervous’ was a Natalie Hemby cowrite, with it’s wordplay and melodic rhythms and it didn’t surprise me at all to learn that ‘Tall Guys’ and ‘Good Friends’ were too; their songs just sound like their songs. That’s not a bad thing; it’s just something that I felt like I could actually put my finger on now that we’ve reached album three.
‘Humble Quest’ is easily my favourite song and it was from the moment I heard it. The lyrics are just gorgeous and so real and relatable; I really, really felt it. Lyrics like “Haven’t looked up in a while / Been biting my tongue behind a smile,” “Just kept hitting my head on the glass / I was so nice till I woke up / I was polite till I spoke up,” “I’m on a humble quest / And damn I do my best / Not gonna hold my breath / ‘Cause I still haven’t found it yet,” and “Standing up was enough of a battle / How do I not cast a shadow? / I’m a hell of a hassle” all resonated so deeply. And I like that it doesn’t resolve – “I still haven’t found it yet” – because I’m not sure it’s something we ever definitively find. We get closer (hopefully) to figuring our shit out but I don’t think we ever completely get there and there’s something comforting about hearing that, about being reminded of that. Maren sounds incredible and the arrangement is just gorgeous; I love a lot of her songs but this one might just take the cake.
Favourite Tracks: ‘Circles Around This Town,’ ‘Humble Quest,’ ‘Nervous,’ ‘Tall Guys,’ ‘Good Friends,’ and ‘What Would This World Do?’
hopeless fountain kingdom (Live From Webster Hall) by Halsey (June 2022) – hopeless fountain kingdom might be my least favourite Halsey album (because one of the four has to come in fourth) but I was so excited for this album; the studio version was a grower rather than love-at-first-listen and it was the tour that really had me falling in love with it. So getting to hear the songs ‘live’ again is so special. Halsey’s vocals are incredible and I love the way she speaks or even shouts certain lines, like “I don’t let him touch me anymore” in ‘100 Letters,’ giving them even more power. And the strength of the crowd singing along is so special, especially when it’s just Halsey and the crowd; that sends shivers down my spine. I loved hearing the songs that Halsey never (or rarely) performed live and I thought that this version of ‘Lie’ with the bridge of ‘Without Me’ was so cool.
As I said when writing about the Badlands live album, it’s hard to differentiate between my favourite songs on the original album and my favourite tracks on the live album because they’re not necessarily the same but I’ve tried to pick my favourites based on the performances rather than the writing…
Favourite Tracks: ‘The Prologue,’ ‘100 Letters,’ ‘Eyes Closed,’ ‘Heaven In Hiding,’ ‘Leave It On The Floor – Talking Break,’ ‘Sorry,’ ‘Lie,’ ‘Walls Could Talk,’ ‘Bad At Love,’ ‘A Cry That You Answered – Talking Break,’ ‘Strangers,’ ‘Angel On Fire,’ ‘Devil In Me’ (I think this one was my favourite performance of all), and ‘Hopeless.’
Good Person by Ingrid Andress (August 2022) – I loved Ingrid’s first album, Lady Like, so I was very excited to hear her second. I was actually lucky enough to be invited to the listening session in London a few months before it came out, which was a really special experience. So I had heard a few of the songs before I sat down to listen to the album but it was still mostly a new experience, whereas, with Lady Like, I’d heard almost the whole album before it came out.
This album has a stronger pop slant than the previous album, especially when it comes to the production; it’s gorgeous and atmospheric and really suits her voice and her songs. Thinking about production choices, I particularly loved ‘Good Person,’ ‘Seeing Someone Else,’ ‘Talk,’ ‘No Choice,’ and ‘Pain.’ The imagery in her songwriting is still very emotive and powerful, reminiscent of the strengths of ‘More Hearts Than Mine. Her use of imagery throughout the album is beautiful and it was something that struck me right from the first listen. The other thing that struck me was how, even with only two albums, the ‘Ingrid-isms’ are already becoming clear, from the twist in ‘Seeing Someone Else,’ to the sassy repetition of “How honest do you want me to be?” to little twists in her lyrics. Her writing is recognisably hers.
Something I’ve noticed a lot recently is the lack of bridges (or middle eights, if that’s what you know them as) in songs and I think that’s really sad. They can really elevate a song, bringing it to a whole new level, which I think was proven by the songs that did have bridges, like ‘Yearbook,’ ‘No Choice’ and ‘Blue.’ That’s not to say that the songs without bridges are bad because they’re not; I just think it’s worth noting how great the songs with bridges are and how the bridges add to those songs.
My top three songs are unquestionably ‘Blue’ (I’ve been waiting for her to release this song since she performed it on tour pre-Lade Like), ‘Things That Haven’t Happened Yet’ (this song was probably the most relatable to me, although I would’ve ended it differently), and ‘Seeing Someone Else.’ To give you a sneak peak of my 2022 in Songs post, here’s what I wrote about the latter: “From the moment the first chorus came in and the twist in the narrative was revealed, I just loved this song because having someone you love fall in love with someone else is horrible and sad but having someone you love love the person that you used to be but aren’t anymore is so heartbreaking. And a less common theme found in songs. I loved the storytelling, I loved the vocals, I loved the production. I do wish it had a bridge though; I think it could’ve gone in a couple of different, really interesting directions that would’ve added another layer to the song.”
Lady Like will always have a special place in my heart but this is also a very special album.
Favourite Tracks: ‘Seeing Someone Else,’ ‘How Honest Do You Want Me To Be?’ ‘No Choice,’ ‘Blue,’ and ‘Things That Haven’t Happened Yet.’
One of the hardest parts of the last few months has been my inability to enjoy anything, to enjoy music. I hope that that will change soon.
Category: depression, favourites, music, special interests Tagged: 10 year plan, album, albums, all too well, all too well ten minute version, anhedonia, at war with the silver fish, cassadee pope, depression, favourite albums, favourite music, good person, halsey, hopeless fountain kingdom, hopeless fountain kingdom live, humble quest, ingrid andress, it's hard to be human, jaz beeson, kina grannis, laura jane grace, maren morris, music, national album day, national album day 2022, red, red (taylor's version), season two, taylor swift, the shires, thrive
Posted on April 17, 2022
Apparently I’m incapable of doing things halfway: I went from barely leaving the house to going on an almost three week trip to the US. The songwriting festival, Tin Pan South, was starting up again and I’ve been going every year since 2016, to write songs and network and just learn from the best songwriters in Nashville. I was utterly terrified – about the COVID risk, about how even a minor bout of COVID could affect the trip, about all of the uncertainty and anxiety that I was going to feel every day without having a true safe place to return to and recharge, etc – but I felt like I had to go. My Mum and I were as careful as we could be: we wore masks pretty much all of the time (being autistic makes that hard but I did the best I could) and we went through so much hand sanitiser. I was practically showering with it. I cried pretty much every day (whether from anxiety, stress, or exhaustion, I don’t know) and I was on my knees by the end of the trip but it was amazing and a lot of really cool things happened.
BOSTON
We flew from London to Boston, which was relatively simple – my anxiety aside. I’d already burst into tears at least twice before we actually left the runway. I was very anxious about COVID (and there were so many things that already made me anxious that now had an entirely new context because of COVID) and about flying (it’s not my favourite thing) and I think I was just really overwhelmed by everything ahead of me. The flight felt ridiculously long and while I was relieved to be back on the ground (and eventually into the hotel where we could take the masks off after wearing them for so long), I was immediately overwhelmed by being abroad, by all of the differences. Getting to the hotel room and being able to just collapse was a great relief.
Months earlier, I’d bought tickets to the Bleachers show where they’d be playing their album Strange Desire from start to finish in the hope that I’d be able to combine it with the Nashville trip – the date was, after all, pretty close to when Tin Pan South usually took place. So I chanced it and by some stroke of luck, it worked out and we made our connection in Boston with a day in between to go to the concert. I had no idea what the disabled accommodations were going to be like but, on the whole, the venue and staff were great, which made the concert possible for me and it was incredible.
I still don’t know if I can describe the concert, beyond saying how amazing it was. Charly Bliss were a really fun opener and I’m very excited for them to release the new songs they played; those were the ones that I really got into. And Bleachers were just fantastic. Jack Antonoff in particular was just like an endlessly ricocheting ball of adrenaline; I barely got any photos of him that were in focus because he was just in constant motion. It was so incredibly special to hear songs like ‘Wild Heart,’ ‘I Wanna Get Better,’ and ‘Like A River Runs,’ all of which I love so much. It still feels kind of unreal, like I can’t quite believe I was really there.
The next day, we struggled up – I felt completely wrecked by the concert – and caught our flight to Nashville.
NASHVILLE
When we got to Nashville, we took a couple of days just to rest and to allow me to collect myself. I was exhausted and a few days holed up in my Airbnb – where I didn’t have to worry about wearing a mask or the risk of COVID – was absolutely needed. And while there are always things to see and exploring to do in Nashville, we’d decided to keep our excursions to our highest priorities; we wanted to minimise the risk of exposure to COVID so that we could do all of the things that we really, really wanted to do.
So those first few days were spent chilling out, watching TV, catching up with my diary, and listening to Maren Morris’ new album, Humble Quest. I think I’ll forever connect it with Nashville now. Between listening to it as I flew into the city and watching her Amazon Prime show that first weekend, the album’s setting will always Nashville.
The show was great and I cannot wait until she comes back to the UK. I’m already in love with this album.
SONG SUFFRAGETTES
My first show back was a big one: Song Suffragettes’ 8th Anniversary show. Usually a Song Suffragettes show consists of five girls and they go around three times, performing three songs each (in total), before closing the show with the cover song performed together. But for this song, there was the first round of five girls who each performed twice plus a cover, a break in which THE Nicolle Galyon interviewed THE Kelsea Ballerini, and then a second round with five more girls who each performed twice as well as a cover song. It was a long but very excellent show.
The first round consisted of Ava Paige, Autumn Nicholas, Kalie Shorr, Ava Suppelsa, Lanie Gardner, and Mia Morris on percussion (she also played a song in this round – a rewrite of Fountains of Wayne’s ‘Stacy’s Mom’ from the point of view of Stacy, which was hilarious). They were all great but, as I think is the case with every songwriters’ round, there were some that resonated with me more than others. I’ve known and loved Kalie for years so I always know she’s going to be my favourite (if you haven’t listened to her music, please check her out – she’s very special) but I didn’t know the others and found I particularly enjoyed Ava Paige’s songs too. I also loved the cover they did, ‘abcdefu’ by GAYLE, and I’ve had it on repeat ever since (along with ‘Humble Quest’ by Maren Morris).
After the cover, they cleared the stage and set it up for the Nicolle Galyon and Kelsea Ballerini interview. They are both just such cool people and have achieved some incredible things; it was very inspiring. Nicolle asked some really interesting questions and Kelsea shared a lot of fascinating, inspiring, and encouraging stories and advice. And then they played a couple of songs that they’ve written together – ‘i quit drinking’ and ‘half of my hometown’ – as well as telling the stories behind the writing of them. It was a really, really cool experience and I feel very lucky to have been there.
The second round was made up of Emily Brooke, Caroline Watkins, Lauren Hungate, Madeline Merlo, Peyton Porter and, again, Mia Morris on percussion. I particularly liked Emily Brooke; I’ve seen her before and I really like her music. And they all told great stories about what inspired the songs.
It was an amazing show and experience and it was a great reintroduction to Nashville. I also got to reconnect with the people I know at Song Suffragettes (and those who I’ve spoken to online but not met) and that was really, really nice. I was kind of scared that, after three years away, the previous years of building relationships might have ended up meaning nothing but that completely wasn’t the case and I’m really grateful for that.
TIN PAN SOUTH
As I said, Tin Pan South is the big reason for coming to Nashville and I had some amazing shows on my list. There were some very tough choices too, great rounds that I struggled to choose between. But I think I made the right choices, for me, for this trip.
I could write about every single show in a ridiculous amount of detail but then we’d be here forever. So here are my highlights of the week…
AUTISM AWARENESS WEEK / DAY
It was World Autism Awareness/Acceptance Week and World Autism Awareness Day while I was away and, knowing that I’d be busy in Nashville, I’d prepared a series of posts to put up on my blog. I also posted this on Instagram:
OTHER FUN THINGS
While I didn’t do a whole lot more than go to shows, I did do a few things that are specific and special to Nashville…
SONG SUFFRAGETTES
I did manage to get in a second Song Suffragettes show while I was in town, which I was very grateful for. This round was made up of Jillian Dawn, Sam Bowlds, Olivia Faye, Elana Jane, Paige King Johnson, and Mia Morris, Mia being the only one I knew previously. They were all great – they always are – but I think my favourites were Jillian Dawn and Paige King Johnson; their songs just spoke to me more deeply than the others did for some reason.
On the whole, the travel had been good. I had disabled assistance at all of the airports and until the trip home, that was great and had made the whole flying ordeal a lot easier. But on the return trip, everything kind of went to hell and it was a bit reminiscent of ‘a series of unfortunate events.’ I almost had a meltdown on the flight from Nashville to Dallas because of a mix up with the seats, which was horrible.
And while the Dallas to London flight was okay (I mean, it was long and cold and uncomfortable but nothing went wrong), everything went wrong from the moment we landed, from problems with gates to confusion with the disability assistance to the freaking coach home. And by that time, we were both so tired (and I was so overwhelmed and stressed out) that I was definitely moments from bursting into tears. But we did eventually – eventually – get home.
It’s been about a week since I got home now and I’ve been a bit of a mess. The jet lag hit me hard, on top of my exhaustion from the trip itself, and my mental health hasn’t been great. I guess I’m just feeling really overwhelmed, like all of my feelings have been turned up to eleven (I mean, even more so than usual).
Category: anxiety, autism, chronic fatigue, covid-19 pandemic, emotions, event, favourites, food, heds, holidays, mental health, music, sleep, special interests, video, writing Tagged: bleachers, boston, boston ma, candle bar, candle bar nashville, candle making, caylee hammack, charly bliss, chris destefano, chronic fatigue, chronic illness, chronic pain, commodore grille, concert, covid-19, disabled, disabled access, emily shackelton, exhaustion, face mask, face masks, festival, humble quest, jack antonoff, jeffrey steele, jet lag, kalie shorr, kelsea ballerini, madison kozak, maren morris, mask, masking, masks, nashville, nashville songwriters association international, natalie hemby, nicolle galyon, nsai, paddywax candle bar, pancake pantry, pandemic, pandemic 2020, pandemic anxiety, singersongwriter, singersongwriter life, song suffragettes, songwriter, songwriters, songwriters festival, songwriting, strange desire, tin pan south, tin pan south 2022, travel, travelling, waaw, world autism acceptance week, world autism acceptance week 2022, world autism awareness day, world autism awareness week
Posted on April 16, 2022
From Brighton to Boston to Nashville and then back to Brighton, I was listening to a lot of music and like on previous trips, I enjoyed keeping notes of which songs I was listening to. These are all songs that were prominent during my trip, songs that I will probably always connect back to this trip. I didn’t necessarily have a song for every single day but given that I was away for just over two weeks, I figured that this was a perfectly decent number of songs for a playlist.
‘I Wanna Get Better’ by Bleachers
The reason we stopped in Boston on the way to Nashville was so that I could finally see Bleachers live and see them play the Strange Desire album from start to finish, an album that means so much to me. I could’ve chosen ‘Like a River Runs’ because that song is tied with this one as my favourite Bleachers song but the energy of the crowd during this song took my breath away. It was amazing.
Favourite Lyrics: “Woke up this morning early before my family / From this dream where she was trying to show me / How a life can move from the darkness / She said to get better // So I put a bullet where I shoulda put a helmet / And I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away / That’s why I’m standing on the overpass screaming at myself / ‘Hey, I wanna get better!’ // I didn’t know I was lonely ’til i saw your face / I wanna get better, better, better, better / I wanna get better / I didn’t know I was broken ’til i wanted to change / I wanna get better, better, better, better / I wanna get better”
WARNING: FLASHING LIGHTS!
‘Humble Quest’ by Maren Morris
Maren Morris’ new album came out the day I flew into Nashville and so I listened to it as I flew back into town. While I love a lot of the songs, ‘Humble Quest’ stood out to me straight away and it was stuck in my head for days afterwards. I really related to it although I’m not sure what part of me it’s speaking to. But the lyrics “And damn I do my best / Not gonna hold my breath / ‘Cause I still haven’t found it yet / No, I still haven’t found it yet” just resonate really strongly. And it’s catchy as hell.
Favourite Lyrics: “Haven’t looked up in a while / Been biting my tongue behind a smile / Falling on swords that I can’t see / Poison my well on the daily / Got easier not to ask / Just kept hitting my head on the glass / I was so nice till I woke up / I was polite till I spoke up // I’m on a humble quest / And damn I do my best / Not gonna hold my breath / ‘Cause I still haven’t found it yet / No, I still haven’t found it yet”
‘Circles Around This Town’ by Maren Morris
While I was in Nashville (and still recovering from the flights, the jet lag, and the Bleachers concert), Maren Morris’ Amazon Prime show was streamed from New York and I was able to watch it. I really, really enjoyed it and I could’ve chosen so many different songs but ‘Circles Around This Town’ just felt like the right choice. It’s the first single from the new album and the first song she played for this show. I wasn’t sure about it when she first released it but it’s grown on me so much since then, so much since the album came out. It’s so her and yet so easy to connect to.
Favourite Lyrics: “So many times I thought about leaving / Got my ass kicked trying to compete with / Everybody else’s ones that got away / Hung around long enough to catch a break // Couple hundred songs and the ones that finally worked / Was the one about a car and the one about a church / That I wrote // Driving circles around this town / Trying to write circles around this town / Trying to say something with meaning, something worth singing about / I’ve been kind and I’ve been ruthless / Yeah, I got here but the truth is / Thought when I hit it, it’d all look different / But I still got the pedal down / Driving circles around this town / Driving circles around this town”
‘Eighteen’ by Kalie Shorr
Kalie is one of my favourite artists and songwriters and this one is gut-wrenching. It’s beautifully written and while I literally can’t name my favourite songs of hers because I love so many of them, this is one of the ones that I love a lot. I’d never heard it live though – up to this point anyway – but she played it at the Song Suffragettes 8th Anniversary show, which was my first show back in Nashville. That was particularly sweet: because of the pandemic, I haven’t seen Kalie live since she released her debut album, Open Book, which is one of my favourite albums ever so it was very special to hear a song from the album now that I’m finally back in the US and able to see her perform.
Favourite Lyrics: “Which one did you fuck harder my best friend or my self esteem / Remember when you got drunk and said you were the only one dumb enough to love me / I don’t want to live just following your script / The actress is too young and the director is a narcissist” AND “I see you out with younger versions of me / While I’m trying to find who I used to be / I’m terrified that you and I will always be chasing eighteen // This isn’t normal, this isn’t okay / But I didn’t know any better, so I thought it’d be better to stay / Almost beautiful, the things that you taught me / I think I really loved you, I think you really loved that I was / Eighteen”
‘abcdefu’ by GAYLE (Performed by Song Suffragettes – Mia Morris, Ava Paige, Autumn Nicholas, Kalie Shorr, Ava Suppelsa, and Lanie Gardner)
This was one of the songs the Song Suffragettes covered during their anniversary show and it just got stuck in my head. It’s such a mood, both in the context of a break up and when you’re just pissed off: just fuck everybody and all of the stupid things about them that irritate you. The dog is spared though, which just cracks me up. It’s so catchy and my brain was just switching back and forth between this song and ‘Humble Quest’ by Maren Morris.
Favourite Lyrics: “Dated a girl that I hate for the attention / She only made it two days, what a connection / It’s like you’d do anything for my affection / You’re goin’ all about it in the worst ways // I was into you, but I’m over it now / And I was tryin’ to be nice / But nothing’s getting through, so let me spell it out // ABCDE FU / And your mom and your sister and your job / And your broke-ass car and that shit you call art / Fuck you and your friends that I’ll never see again / Everybody but your dog, you can all fuck off / Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah / ABCDE FU”
‘half of my hometown’ by Kelsea Ballerini (Performed by Kelsea Ballerini and Nicolle Galyon)
Kelsea Ballerini was being honoured at the Song Suffragettes show (the same one Kalie was playing at) and after an interview with Nicolle Galyon (who is also very awesome), the two of them played a couple of the songs they’ve written together that Kelsea’s released. That was very cool and ‘half of my hometown’ is one of my favourite songs on Kelsea’s latest album so it was very cool to hear her sing it live. I love the detail in the lyrics that is so specific to her and yet it’s such a relatable feeling.
Favourite Lyrics: “Back roads raise us / Highways take us / Memories make us wanna go back // To our hometown, settle down / Talk about that one touchdown / Raise some kids in red and black / Go Bobcats, while the other half / Of my hometown was in the crowd / They knew the words, they sang them loud / And all I wanna do is make them proud / ‘Cause half of me will always be / From Knoxville, Tennessee / My hometown / ‘Cause I’m half of my hometown”
‘Small Town Hypocrite’ by Caylee Hammack
I first saw Caylee Hammack in 2017 – at a Tin Pan South show – and she actually played this song. Now, at my first Tin Pan South show of 2022 – my first in three years – she played it again and I was just so happy to be seeing her perform again (another thing that was taken away by the pandemic). In that time, she’s put out an album that I love and is working on her music, some of which she played during the show. She has an incredible voice, which only amplifies the emotion in the song. I also got to have a conversation with her and she’s such a sweetheart. It was, all in all, an excellent start to the festival.
Favourite Lyrics: “And that scholarship was a ship that sailed / When I chose you and daddy gave me hell / I made myself into someone else just to love you, damn, I loved you / Took all my plans and I put ’em in a box / Phantom pains for the wings I lost / Had me circling rings in the catalogs / For seven years and you never got the hint / Ain’t that some shit / I’m just a small-town hypocrite // Swore we’d be running, running, running this town / But you’re just running, running, running around / And I’m staring at a picket fence / Wondering where the hell time went / I should’ve been running, running, running by now / But I just hang around”
‘My First Last Name’ by Madison Kozak
I could’ve chosen any of the songs Madison Kozak played during her Tin Pan South show because I loved all of them but this one has always been special to me. I’ll never get to have a relationship like this with my Dad but it’s nice to imagine. It makes me super emotional but not in a negative way – or at least, not in a wholly negative way. It does make me sad but I’m grateful for the song. It reminds me of my Dad and the good parts of our relationship. It’s a beautifully written song and I can’t wait to hear the other songs she played that she’s planning to release soon.
Favourite Lyrics: “Yeah, he set the bar real high / But I met a real good guy / Still not much of a crier / Till we’re halfway down the aisle // He’s the son of the salesman / Short glass, old fashioned / ‘How are things going lately?’ / ‘Stop on by, bring the baby’ / People they say, I’m more like him everyday / He can give me away, but no one can take / My first last name”
‘i quit drinking’ by Kelsea Ballerini and LANY (Written by Kelsea Ballerini, Paul Jason Klein, and Nicolle Galyon) (Performed by Nicolle Gaylon)
I love Nicolle Galyon’s songwriting and she has a gorgeous singing voice; she makes all of these iconic songs her own and I love that she’s created a label to specifically support women. She’s just awesome and, again, I could’ve chosen any of the songs that she played. This particular festival slot was a hard one because there were multiple great shows on at that time but I’m really happy I chose this one. I also got to talk to her briefly after the show and she was really lovely. I still feel like I’m getting my feet under me socially, after so long with little in person socialisation (and so I feel very awkward still), but talking about music and songwriting is my favourite thing so that does make it easier.
Favourite Lyrics: “We used to be / Dizzy all morning / Hungover, pouring / Cups of coffee black / Kiss and crawl right back / Under the covers / Down for another / Hour in that bed / Now, I’m here instead // Waking up sober, it feels kind of nice / Except that I can’t sleep at night // You’re the reason there’s no whiskey anywhere inside this house / You’re the reason all my friends know I don’t go downtown / You’re the reason I hate champagne, never used to turn it down / You’re the only thing I want when one drop hits my mouth / Baby, you’re the reason / I quit drinking // I quit thinking (I quit thinking) / Staring at the ceiling (Oh) / And all my cabernet is down the kitchen sink, yeah (It’s down the kitchen sink, yeah) / I quit mixing (I quit mixing) / All my drinks and feelings / It’s not fixing that you’re gone”
‘Doin’ Fine’ by Lauren Alaina (Performed by Emily Shackelton)
I still remember the first time I heard Emily Shackelton play this song at a Tin Pan South round and how it just hit me; like, the autobiographical details are clearly not mine but the message of the song has been so applicable to me so many times throughout my life and here we are again and it’s still true. There was a new level of poignancy in the performance of this song though as it was written with busbee who is no longer with us – he died late 2019 – and this is the first Tin Pan South since then. Emily dedicated it to him and from what I’ve heard, he was an amazing person. I’m sorry that I never got to meet him.
Favourite Lyrics: “I’m doin’ fine enough to know that everyone’s a little broken / Fine enough to learn that hearts are best when they’re wide open / I still got fear inside of me / I’m not okay, but I’m gonna be alright / Oh, for the first time in a long, long time I’m doin’ fine / I’m doin’ fine”
‘Where Would You Rather Die?’ by Kalie Shorr
I could’ve easily chosen any and all of the songs she performed (and I have chosen two from the round because I love her songs so much) but this was the only one that was completely new to me and it just blew me away. She paints such vivid portraits with her lyrics and the fact that it was based on a real experience (although it obviously did not involve actually dying) makes it even more enjoyable. I would love a music video for this song because it’s just such a wild story.
Favourite Lyrics: THE WHOLE DAMN SONG.
I was in the presence of so many great songwriters this week, but @kalieshorr has written songs featured in Yellowstone, so how do you beat that? Plus you don’t hear a lot of songs about the pleasures of being murdered in Beverly Hills pic.twitter.com/89xOGHUGZR
— Austin Harris (@ImAustinHarris) April 4, 2022
‘The World Keeps Spinning’ by Kalie Shorr
This song gets me every time. Kalie has been open about the inspiring of the song, that it’s about her older sister’s death and while the details are specific to her life, I think it’s very easy to relate to if you’ve lost anyone, especially if they died suddenly. I relate it to my Dad. It makes me well up every time – or full on sob if I’m feeling particularly emotional – because it’s so beautifully written and gets right to the heart of grief. As sad as it is, it’s one of my favourite Kalie songs.
Favourite Lyrics: “The 5th of January is on the calendar every year / Like some kind of messed up holiday to remind me that you’re not here / I hear people laughing, I don’t get the joke / But I can’t hold it against them, cause it’s not like they know // It was just another day, until it wasn’t // The sky / Didn’t even have the decency to cry / And that damn sun still found a way to shine / When the heartache’s hitting / I think it’s kind of cruel that the world keeps spinning”
‘Crowded Table’ by The Highwomen (Performed by Natalie Hemby)
I love Natalie Hemby and she’s always the first person I look for in the Tin Pan South line-up. She’s a fantastic writer, as well as an utterly hilarious and genuinely lovely person. This song kind of reminds me of growing up: my house was always busy and there was always a lot of people around. We were a big, tight knit family (we’re still close but we’re all a bit more spread out now so getting together is harder) and we often congregated around the table at meal times. So, when I listen to it, it reminds me of that. Hearing it live was very cool and the fact that she gave me a shout out before playing this song (in front of the amazing songwriters on stage and the whole show’s audience) just makes me love this song even more; it symbolises a very special memory.
Favourite Lyrics: “The door is always open / Your picture’s on my wall / Everyone’s a little broken / And everyone belongs / Yeah, everyone belongs // I want a house with a crowded table / And a place by the fire for everyone / Let us take on the world while we’re young and able / And bring us back together when the day is done”
‘What Hurts The Most’ by Rascal Flatts (Performed by Jeffrey Steele)
Somewhat hilariously, the first version of this song that I heard – in my Dad’s car – was the more dance/club version. I have no idea why my Dad had it on a CD but hearing it still brings back fond memories. Hearing the country version for the first time was a bit of a surprise but given the memories of my Dad, I have a soft spot for it and hearing Jeffrey Steele perform it was incredible. He’s an amazing singer and an amazing guitarist; it was a bit like the musical equivalent of a religious experience.
Favourite Lyrics: “It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go / But I’m doing it / It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends / And I’m alone // Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret / But I know if I could do it over / I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart / That I left unspoken // What hurts the most / Is being so close / And having so much to say (much to say) / And watching you walk away / And never knowing / What could’ve been / And not seeing that love in you / Is what I was trying to do”
‘right where you left me’ by Taylor Swift
I was listening to evermore quite a bit, given that it was nominated for Album of the Year at the Grammys. It might not have won but it’s still an amazing album and I love it so much. ‘right where you left me’ is such a fascinating song: so specific and yet so relatable; so beautifully written, with some really cool techniques. I wrote about it in my full evermore post. I love it and it’s been stuck in my head on and off during my trip.
Favourite Lyrics: “Help, I’m still at the restaurant / Still sitting in a corner I haunt / Cross-legged in the dim light / They say, ‘What a sad sight’ / I, I swear you could hear a hair pin drop / Right when I felt the moment stop / Glass shattered on the white cloth / Everybody moved on / I, I stayed there / Dust collected on my pinned-up hair / They expected me to find somewhere / Some perspective, but I sat and stared / Right where you left me / You left me no, oh, you left me no / You left me no choice but to stay here forever” AND “Help, I’m still at the restaurant / Still sitting in a corner I haunt / Cross-legged in the dim light / They say, ‘What a sad sight’ / I, I stayed there / Dust collected on my pinned-up hair / I’m sure that you got a wife out there / Kids and Christmas, but I’m unaware / ‘Cause I’m right where / I cause no harm, mind my business / If our love died young, I can’t bear witness / And it’s been so long / But if you ever think you got it wrong / I’m right where you left me / You left me no, oh, you left me no / You left me no choice but to stay here forever”
‘HEARTFIRST’ by Kelsea Ballerini
I’ve very used to the first singles of a new chapter not landing well with me – with basically all artists – so I was very pleasantly surprised when I loved this song straight away. It’s fun, it’s adorable, and it’s so feel good. It’s so uplifting and joyful. The imagery is gorgeous and while it’s obviously about a romantic relationship, the broader idea of jumping into every thing heart first is very relatable to me.
Favourite Lyrics: “I couldn’t wait till later, talking in the elevator / Then we’re kissing in the back of the car” AND “Could be forever or we might break / That’s just the kind of risk that we take / My head is yelling that I could get hurt / But I’m gonna jump right in / Baby, with my heartfirst” AND “And I can’t even stop myself anymore / Oh, we couldn’t end the perfect night outside my front door”
So here is my Nashville 2022 playlist. There were definitely more songs I could’ve included but I tried to keep some sort of constraint on myself, otherwise this probably could’ve gone on forever. There were just so many songs to choose from, practically every day. Anyway. A musical post for a very musical trip.
Category: favourites, music, video Tagged: abcdefu, bleachers, boston, caylee hammack, circles around this town, crowded table, doin' fine, eighteen, emily shackelton, favourite lyrics, GAYLE, half of my hometown, heartfirst, humble quest, i quit drinking, i wanna get better, jeffrey steele, kalie shorr, kelsea ballerini, LANY, lauren alaina, lyrics, madison kozak, maren morris, my first last name, nashville, natalie hemby, nicolle galyon, open book, playlist, rascal flatts, right where you left me, small town hypocrite, song suffragettes, songwriter, songwriters, songwriting, songwriting festival, taylor swift, the highwomen, the world keeps spinning, tin pan south, tin pan south 2022, travel, travelling, what hurts the most, where would you rather die

Hi! I’m Lauren Alex Hooper. Welcome to my little blog! I write about living with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), ADHD (Inattentive Type), and Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS), as well as several mental health issues.
I’m a singer-songwriter (it’s my biggest special interest and I have both a BA and MA in songwriting) so I’ll probably write a bit about that too.
My first single, ‘Invisible,’ is on all platforms, with all proceeds going to Young Minds.
My debut EP, Honest, is available on all platforms, with a limited physical run at Resident Music in Brighton.
I’m currently working on an album about my experiences as an autistic woman.
Hi! I’m Lauren Alex Hooper. Welcome to my little blog! I write about living with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), ADHD (Inattentive Type), and Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS), as well as several mental health issues.
I’m a singer-songwriter (it’s my biggest special interest and I have both a BA and MA in songwriting) so I’ll probably write a bit about that too.
My first single, ‘Invisible,’ is on all platforms, with all proceeds going to Young Minds.
My debut EP, Honest, is available on all platforms, with a limited physical run at Resident Music in Brighton.
I’m currently working on an album about my experiences as an autistic woman.
Finding Hope