Posted on October 10, 2023
If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know that I find awareness days, like World Mental Health Awareness Day and Mental Health Awareness Week, really hard. I find it really frustrating to watch so many people – businesses, celebrities, every man and his dog, etc – jump on the #MentalHealthAwareness bandwagon just to show that they really do care about mental health, to prove that they are socially engaged and empathetic (before reverting to their previous routine of never discussing the subject). I have absolutely no problem with people not making it their primary social cause; I do have a problem with people trying to claim social credit by talking about it for one day a year.
I also struggle with the consistently vague annual themes that many charities and organisations stand behind. This year, the World Federation for Mental Health announced that their theme for 2023 is ‘mental health is a universal right,’ to which my immediate reaction was, ‘No shit.’ What is that supposed to mean? That everyone deserves to have good mental health? That everyone should have access to mental health support? Isn’t this blatantly obvious? The problem is that we’re stuck with outdated medical education, out of touch care providers, no support services, and no money to fix any of it. So how does this vague statement help? What does it change? We need more. We need better. We need support and education and resources. We need a government that cares about the people it serves, that cares about the wellbeing of the people it serves. But instead, we have a group of entitled, morally-bankrupt, evil narcissists who only care about money and power.
I’m sick of feeling so angry and I’m sick of feeling so powerless. I doubt there’s anything that can truly change that, aside from massive institutional change. But it doesn’t seem like that’s coming from the government any time soon so I’m trying to channel my focus and my energy and my feelings into doing what I can as an individual. The proceeds from my single, ‘Invisible,’ go to YoungMinds of course but that’s in place and I want to do more. I want to do everything I can. So, this year, I decided to raise money for Mind (Charity Number: 219830) by swimming 5km. Because of my hEDS, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to swim more than a kilometre at a time without potentially aggravating my chronic fatigue and chronic pain so I planned to do the 5km over a series of nights, completing the 5km in time for World Mental Health Day on the 10th October. There’s a nagging voice in my head that keeps snarkily pointing out that I should’ve been doing this for years but I know logically that I couldn’t even have done it last year because of both my physical and mental health. So I’m trying not to beat myself up for not doing it sooner. I’m doing it now.
I really had no idea what to expect in terms of raising so I set it at £150. That seemed doable since most of my friends are still struggling financially post university and we are all in a cost of living crisis. While this also affects the more financially established people in my life, I knew that there were people who were more able to help me achieve this. That, I think, is a big part of why I didn’t set a super ambitious target; the cost of living crisis is hitting everyone hard (apart from the incredibly wealthy Tory politicians, it seems) so I felt that raising any money at all was an achievement; I was deeply appreciative of every donation, whatever the amount. I figured out the details and set up my JustGiving page:
“For World Mental Health Day 2023, I will be swimming 5km in aid of Mind (charity number: 219830), a charity that supports those struggling with their mental health. As a person with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome who suffers from chronic pain and chronic fatigue, I will be swimming this distance over a week in order to avoid worsening these conditions. It has taken me over a year to reach this point, where I am physically fit and healthy enough to do this, and I want to celebrate this and honour World Mental Health Day by challenging myself with this swim and raising money to support a charity that helps those who are struggling with issues that I have struggled with myself.
I know that times are really tough and that we are all affected by the cost of living crisis but even a few pounds can make a difference. If you can’t afford to donate, please help me to reach more people by sharing this page on your social media.
Thank you for reading this post and for whatever help you can manage. I truly and deeply appreciate it.“
And then it was time to swim the thing!

SWIM 1
The first swim was at the longer, lane swimming pool that I go to, which meant swimming fifty lengths to achieve the first of the five kilometres. I had, in typical fashion, slipped off an uneven curb earlier in the day (right before my first ever sponsored 5k ever, of course); fortunately I was fine, if a little sore, because I wasn’t changing the plan for anything. I’d swum the distance a few times already and found it a challenge but a doable one; I expected the same for each of the five nights. But it was surprisingly smooth-going. I was tired at the end, my muscles a bit shaky, but I was excited and energised by it; I couldn’t wait to do the rest of them.
SWIM 2
For the second swim, I was in the smaller pool, the one that’s more suited to and where I usually do my hydrotherapy exercises. It’s short – only 8.5m – so the amount of times you have to turn in order to swim a kilometre can get a bit tedious but it’s a beautiful little pool. This kilometre was harder. Given that it was the second of two nights swimming a kilometre, I was tired before I started and my arm and leg were actually more painful than the night before, presumably because I hadn’t been able to rest them post fall. So it was a bit of a struggle but I made it! Two down, three to go!
SWIM 3
I had a night off and then I was swimming again, another kilometre in the small pool. Having had a break and some time to rest my sore arm and leg, I felt better and stronger in the face of the swim and, unsurprisingly, it was easier than both I’d done so far. That said, I was exhausted by the time I was done and fell asleep on the sofa when I got home. My body definitely isn’t used to this. But it was very exciting to have passed the halfway point! And I was at almost £500 with my fundraising when I hadn’t even expected to break £200!
SWIM 4
For the fourth of the five kilometres, I was back in the long pool. Despite having a few days off, this one felt really hard: it wasn’t that the lengths felt longer but more that my arms and legs were heavy and tired and it took more effort to pull myself through the water. I think I got tired faster too. But I managed it, even if only just in time before I had to get out of the pool. Four kilometres in a week! Even though I was exhausted with another kilometre to go, I still felt energised and excited about going to the pool. And so motivated to finish the 5k.
SWIM 5
Because I’m me and apparently really can’t go a week without falling over, tripping on something, or colliding with a door frame, I managed to trip in the street on my way back from the pool the night before (because I was so tired, I think). I twisted my ankle and landed on my knee and although I hadn’t done any serious damage – thank goodness – I did go into the last kilometre feeling sore and a little wobbly. But I was so excited to do it, both to complete the challenge and fulfil the promise I’d made to Mind and to all of the wonderful people who’d donated. I was so proud to be earning that money, the total having reached £500 that morning!

1km later and I’d done it! 5km! It felt so good. It hadn’t felt as hard as the night before either, maybe because I was back in the groove, maybe because I was so close to achieving the goal and was therefore more motivated and noticed my fatigue less. Whatever, it was done and I didn’t feel too exhausted to actually get out of the pool. The lifeguard was really nice about it when we realised we confused the time of our slot and even donated before we left!
By the end of the day, with the swim completed, the total donation sat at £510. I was very, very proud of that, having never thought I’d reach such a number. And I was really proud of myself: I’d done it. I’d completed the challenge I’d set for myself. I’d swum 5km when, just several months ago, I wouldn’t have been able to swim half that. It’s a big milestone in terms of my fitness.
It’s been a really positive experience, even if – at times – I was tired or sore or anxious that I wouldn’t raise the money. So much work has gone into the week, into these five kilometres; it’s taken so much time and effort to get physically healthy and fit enough (plus in a healthy enough mental state) to do this. I’m really, really proud of myself for getting to this point and I’m really, really proud of completing the 5k; I can’t think of a better way to celebrate all of that than by challenging myself with this swim and raising money to support a charity as important as Mind.

There is still time to donate – the page is here – but at the time of posting this blog, the total raised is £620. That is so incredible to me and I’m so moved by the generosity of human beings and their desire to support each other. Thank you so much to everyone who has donated and to those who weren’t able to but shared the link, helping this fundraiser to reach a wider audience. While I’m sure there are many, many things that this money can go towards, these are some of the ways that the money we’ve raised together will help people…

As I said, I’ve been struggling with awareness days like this one for the last several years, feeling powerless and frustrated. But this year has been different and that’s because of this fundraising challenge. Not only am I proud of completing the physical challenge and blowing the fundraising target out of the water (that pun was originally accidental but it’s too funny to me to take out), I feel like I’ve made a difference. It might be a small one in the grand scheme of things but it’ll be no small thing to the individual(s) Mind is able to help because of this donation. So, with that in mind, Happy World Health Awareness Day. We made a difference.
Category: chronic fatigue, chronic pain, event, exercise, family, heds, hydrotherapy, mental health Tagged: 5k, 5km, charity, charity fundraiser, charity swim, chronic illness, chronic pain, fundraiser, fundraising, institutional ableism, justgiving, mental health, mental health awareness, mental health charity, mental illness, mind, mind charity, pain, sponsored swim, swim, swimming, wmhd, wmhd 2023, world mental health day, world mental health day 2023
Posted on October 10, 2021
‘MENTAL HEALTH IN AN UNEQUAL WORLD’
As I’m sure many of you know, today is World Mental Health Day and the theme, chosen by the Mental Health Foundation, is ‘mental health in an unequal world.’ WHO seems to be building it around the pandemic, rather than as a problem of its own, but from what I’ve seen in the newsletters and on the social medias of many mental health charities and organisations, most seem to be following the lead of the Mental Health Foundation.
According to the Mental Health Foundation’s website: “2020 highlighted inequalities due to race and ethnicity, sexual orientation and gender identity, and the lack of respect for human rights in many countries, including for people living with mental health conditions. Such inequalities have an impact on people’s mental health. This theme, chosen for 2021, will highlight that access to mental health services remains unequal, with between 75% to 95% of people with mental disorders in low and middle-income countries unable to access mental health services at all, and access in high income countries is not much better.” It goes on to say: “Many people with a mental illness do not receive the treatment that they are entitled to and deserve and together with their families and carers continue to experience stigma and discrimination… The stigma and discrimination experienced by people who experience mental ill health not only affects that person’s physical and mental health, stigma also affects their educational opportunities, current and future earning and job prospects, and also affects their families and loved ones.”
Statistics provided by Mind (x)
I have my own experience with the mental health system – which I do want to touch on – and have heard from many others about their experiences but I wanted to read into the research around these inequalities further, both to get a better factual understanding and to put my own experience in context (beyond an anecdotal one). The research is sporadic at best but here are some of the statistics I found…
ACCESS TO MENTAL HEALTH CARE
From these statistics, it’s clear that far too many people aren’t getting the support that they need.
INEQUALITIES IN ACCESS TO TREATMENT (x)
These statistics clearly show the disparities in the availability of treatment, more supporting evidence for the statement that the Mental Health Foundation is making with the theme for this World Mental Health Day.
YOUNG PEOPLE
This research all indicates that young people in particular are being let down by the health care system.
SECONDARY [LONG TERM] CARE
The statistics show not just that the need for mental health care is increasing but the need for long term mental health care is increasing but that it’s also very difficult to access.
HIDDEN WAITING LISTS (x)
“A study of 513 British adults diagnosed with a mental illness also reveals the damaging consequences that hidden waiting lists – the wait between referral and second appointments – have on the lives of patients living with severe or common mental illness.”
It’s clear that, beyond the difficulty of even getting into the mental health care system, once in it, the process of actually getting the support you need is much too slow – so slow in fact that it’s exacerbating the mental health problems that those waiting are seeking help for.
Now I want to look at my experience of getting support for my mental health…
Since then, I’ve developed near constant chronic pain throughout my body – something that’s obviously had a big impact on my mental health – but over a year later, I’m still waiting for the NHS physiotherapy and hydrotherapy referrals to go through. I have started Occupational Therapy and with the Pain Clinic (both through the NHS) but with the end of my Masters, I had to take a break because they were too painful and/or upsetting to manage alongside all the work. I’m starting back this week. It still bothers me that no one’s ever even tried to find out why the pain started though.
Almost six years after my ASD diagnosis, the Neurobehavioural Clinic called to offer me an appointment, to do what I had no idea. But at the end of the two part session, I’d been diagnosed with Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and ADHD – aged twenty six – both conditions having gone unnoticed because no one had ever taken my associated problems (problems that have been there my whole life) seriously. They’re both conditions that often occur alongside ASD. The hEDS diagnosis would, in theory, push my physiotherapy and hydrotherapy referrals but, as I said, I haven’t heard anything and almost a year later, my ADHD is still untreated. My psychiatrist was happy to ‘move’ that condition to his care but the consultant I saw didn’t want that, which is especially frustrating because she’s so difficult to get in contact with.
And finally, I may be getting answers to another ongoing medical problem: severe dizziness, light-headedness, nausea, physical weakness, and breathlessness when I stand up for too long. We’ve been trying to get support around this for so long that I can’t even remember when it started. This too may well be related to my Autism and I can’t help thinking that it’s another thing that should’ve been discovered sooner.
All of these things have had a profound impact on my mental health and going through the agonising process of diagnosis again and again has left me wary, fearful, and angry at medical professionals. It’s deeply ingrained in me to be polite and respectful but it doesn’t take much to send me flying off the handle; I walk into each appointment feeling like a tightly coiled spring. I leave pretty much every appointment in tears at best, raging at worst. Because I’m so. freaking. tired. of feeling like this. Of feeling like no one believes me, of being made to feel like I don’t know what I’m talking about, of being made to feel like I don’t know what I’m feeling. I feel so worn down by the constant let downs. At this point, I think I’m only going back because I don’t know what else to do.
I have no doubt that social media will be filled with nice words and encouraging quotes today. But we need more than that. World Mental Health Day is about more than that. Or it should be. It should be about pushing for change and improvement. The Mental Health Foundation is absolutely right that the inequalities in the mental health care system need to be addressed but looking at these statistics, it’s also clear that the standard of care needs to be better. For everyone’s sake. After all, there’s very little difference between not getting any support and being on a list waiting years for support.

Category: about me, adhd, anxiety, autism, bpd, depression, diagnosis, emotions, heds, medication, mental health, ocd, research, therapy, treatment Tagged: accessibility, adhd, asd, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, autism, autism spectrum disorder, borderline personality disorder, bpd, camhs, cbt, chronic pain, dbt, depression, diagnosis, diagnostic process, eds, ehlers danlos syndrome, gad, generalized anxiety disorder, heds, hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome, medical trauma, medication, mental health, mental health awareness, mental health care, mental health foundation, mental health in an unequal world, mental health in the media, mental health services, mental health stigma, mental health treatment, mental illness, mental illness awareness, mental illness stigma, neurodiversity, nhs, obsessive compulsive disorder, ocd, private health care, private mental health care, private psychiatric care, research, social anxiety, social media, statistics, stigma, therapy, wmhd, world mental health day, world mental health day 2021
Posted on October 10, 2018
(Trigger warning for self harm.)
Today is World Mental Health Day.
If I’m honest, I’m not really sure what to say. I’m in the middle of the worst depression I’ve ever experienced and I’m very aware that my perspective, my opinions, my hopes are distorted by that. If this was a video, I might just sit and cry. But this day is important so I’m trying to pull myself together and put something out into the world that is (hopefully) positive (and maybe helpful).
This year’s theme is the mental health of young people. When it comes to things like this, I’ve never felt comfortable talking about anyone’s experience but my own. So that’s what I’m going to do. I hope that’s okay with you guys.
My experience at secondary school was a very mixed one. I spent the first three years dealing with some complicated health problems but by the time I reached Years 10 and 11 (ages fifteen and sixteen for those of you who don’t know the education system in England), I felt really settled. I loved learning, particularly English, Maths, History, Psychology, and Philosophy (real shout out to my teachers in all of those subjects). I got real satisfaction from working hard and that was reflected in my grades. I came out of secondary school with not unimpressive grades, especially when you consider I missed most of the first three years. So I felt pretty good about going into Sixth Form (A Levels/ages seventeen and eighteen).
But that was when it all started to unravel. I really, really struggled. I’d gone from completing the work with ease to barely scraping by. I couldn’t understand it: I was trying so hard and it didn’t seem to make any difference. And I couldn’t see it at the time, but my anxiety was getting worse and worse and what I now know to be depression was creeping in. But I didn’t know it was happening so I just kept pushing forwards. I spoke to a couple of people about the high anxiety I was experiencing but each one told me that anxiety is normal and that was the end of the conversation.
It all came to a head when I failed an exam, something that had never happened before. I’d been told I was all set for an A* and I came out with a U. I was absolutely devastated. I know now that our worth as human beings has nothing to do with grades but I was eighteen years old: I had only ever been valued based on my grades. It’s no one person’s fault but that’s how the education system in this country works. It needs changing.
But back to this little story. I don’t remember much after I opened the envelope and saw that U but I ended up in one of the less used college toilets, self harming repeatedly with a broken paperclip. I don’t know how long I was there (long enough that the automatic lights went off and I was plunged into a very appropriate darkness) but at some point, my friends tracked me down and coaxed me out of the stall. I still remember seeing my reflection: my make up all down my face, my hands shaking, and the scratches barely hidden by my long sleeves. One friend took me to a nearby café, bought me a hot chocolate, and just talked to me. And eventually I told her what I’d done. Her kindness and gentleness was so healing, not for the whole problem but for that very difficult day. I will never forget it and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay it.
After that, I dropped out of that course and clawed my way out with two A Levels and an Extended Project, far less than I and everyone had expected of me. I went straight into a music course but had to drop out two days in because my anxiety was so bad that I just couldn’t cope. I spent a year grappling with the anxiety and depression, trying the first of many antidepressants (so many) and trying to retake some of the exams in the hope that I could improve my A Levels (I didn’t end up opening the results of those until after I finished my degree, three years later, but that’s another story). During that year, I tried desperately to get help from the NHS to no avail: my anxiety was so bad that talking to people I didn’t know was practically impossible and they refused to help me if I wouldn’t talk. Eventually we were forced to go private, something that I’m endlessly, endlessly grateful has been possible. And I only managed to get my diagnoses when my university said they weren’t able to help me if I didn’t have an official diagnosis.
It still upsets me to talk about. I asked and asked and asked for help but no one either seemed able or willing to help me. I would not be as twisted up now had that not been the case. The information and support was not available to me, it wasn’t available to my family, and it wasn’t available or deemed important enough (I’m not sure which is worse) to the medical professionals I saw. That has to change. It is not acceptable.
Now that I’ve told my story, I want to include some other important, relevant stuff.
The first thing is that I want to link you to Hannah Jane Parkinson’s recent article in The Guardian. She makes the very important distinction between mental health and mental illness. And this is where, I think, physical health and mental health are most comparable: your mental health is something you take care of (or don’t) everyday, by eating and sleeping well, exercising, talking through your emotions, and so on. Mental illnesses, similarly to physical illnesses, can be caused by not taking care of your mental health but there can also be genetic factors, environmental factors, and just hard stuff going on in your life.
WAYS TO HELP YOUR MENTAL HEALTH:
WAYS TO HELP YOUR MENTAL ILLNESS:
And of course, there is overlap between these two lists.
Where we go from here, I’m not sure. The information about mental health and mental illness is spreading and spreading and more and more people are speaking up. Now we need the right systems to support it: doctors, treatment, government officials who advocate for positive change. For now, that’s all I know. For now, I’m just trying to manage one day at a time.
(And a gentle reminder, my debut single, ‘Invisible,’ which I wrote about my experiences with my mental health is available on iTunes and Spotify and all those places and all proceeds go to Young Minds, a charity that supports young people in their mental health.)
Category: about me, diagnosis, emotions, medication, mental health, response, self harm, tips, treatment, university Tagged: advice, anxiety, depressed, depression, family, friends, health, mental health awareness, mental health blog, mental health blogger, mental health blogging, mental health in the media, mental illness, mental illness awareness, mental wellness, school, secondary school, sixth form, sixth form college, wmhd, wmhd18, wmhd2018, world mental health day, world mental health day 18, world mental health day 2018

Hi! I’m Lauren Alex Hooper. Welcome to my little blog! I write about living with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), ADHD (Inattentive Type), and Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS), as well as several mental health issues.
I’m a singer-songwriter (it’s my biggest special interest and I have both a BA and MA in songwriting) so I’ll probably write a bit about that too.
My first single, ‘Invisible,’ is on all platforms, with all proceeds going to Young Minds.
My debut EP, Honest, is available on all platforms, with a limited physical run at Resident Music in Brighton.
I’m currently working on an album about my experiences as an autistic woman.
Hi! I’m Lauren Alex Hooper. Welcome to my little blog! I write about living with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), ADHD (Inattentive Type), and Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS), as well as several mental health issues.
I’m a singer-songwriter (it’s my biggest special interest and I have both a BA and MA in songwriting) so I’ll probably write a bit about that too.
My first single, ‘Invisible,’ is on all platforms, with all proceeds going to Young Minds.
My debut EP, Honest, is available on all platforms, with a limited physical run at Resident Music in Brighton.
I’m currently working on an album about my experiences as an autistic woman.
Finding Hope