Ideas To Help With Hair Pulling

Trigger warning for Trichotillomania/hair pulling. Please don’t read this if this is something that will upset or trigger you. I only want this to be helpful, never harmful.

Having just written about some of the things that can trigger episodes of Trichotillomania, I wanted to post a list of ideas that have the potential to help someone struggling with hair pulling. There are lists all over the internet with various collections of ideas but I felt that it would be irresponsible to post about the triggers of Trich without offering some kind of help, especially the kind of help that you can practice yourself without having to wait to see a specialist (although I would encourage you to seek out professional support as well). These aren’t cures obviously – there are currently no proven cures for Trichotillomania – but numerous accounts have shown that many of these strategies have helped people manage and reduce their urge to pull, which is obviously a big deal. I also wanted to share which strategies have helped me – if you relate to other things that I’ve posted maybe they’re a good place to start.

There are a number of things I want to mention before getting into this list:

  • You have to remember to forgive yourself for not being perfect. Trying to stop pulling is an incredibly difficult (although incredibly rewarding) task. Your progress isn’t always linear. Sometimes you’ll manage an amazing streak and then not even manage a day. But just as you can struggle, you can succeed. However, beating yourself up for ‘going backwards’ won’t help you move forward; it’s a waste of precious energy that you could be dedicating to your attempts to stop pulling.
  • One strategy won’t necessarily work forever. It may work for a time and things may improve. But then, if you start pulling again, it may not be helpful the second time around. For example, I wore a hat consistently for months and that slowly stopped me pulling my hair out. I didn’t pull for a year but when I started again, wearing a hat just made me feel anxious and claustrophobic. So I had to try different methods.
  • If you’ve ever tried to stop pulling before, you’ll know that you have to be committed. Seriously committed. As dramatic as it sounds, you have to be thinking about it all the time. And if you’ve been doing it long enough, there will be a degree of habit so you don’t even notice yourself doing it and yet you still have to have an awareness of it. It’s really hard. Really, really hard. But it is possible to reduce the pulling to some degree at least.

Now, onto the list…


* = I’ve tried this.

** = I’ve tried this and it helped.

  • Wear a hat or bandana**

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(I wore a hat for months, possibly more, consistently – to the extent that it’s become part of my look as a singersongwriter and I have been recognised because of it – and that helped me stop pulling for over a year. However, as I said earlier in the post, when I started pulling again, it didn’t help because I started pulling from a different area of my scalp.)

  • Wet down your hair**
  • Cut your hair short (or if necessary, shave your head)
  • Wear a wig
  • Sit on your hands until the urge passes or you’re distracted
  • Snap a hair band or rubber band against your wrist
  • If you use tweezers to pull, put them out of the way of your daily routines or throw them out if necessary**
  • Squeeze a stress ball or something similar*
  • Use a fidget toy (you may need to try several different ones to find one that works for you)**

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(These fidget toys are my personal favourites. I have more that I’m slowly donating to family and friends and acquaintances who have expressed interest in them. Personally I prefer plastic over metal because the metal toys make my hands smell. I also prefer the ones with buttons etc, rather than ones that you squeeze, like stress balls. But different fidgets appeal to different people).

  • Put vaseline on your fingers or the hair you would be pulling
  • Put plasters on your fingertips
  • Wear gloves
  • Journal about your experiences*
  • If you feel comfortable doing so, ask your friends or family to point out when you start pulling*
  • If there’s a room or environment you normally pull in, try changing your environment
  • Play an instrument**
  • Stroke or play with an animal*
  • Exercise
  • Start with small goals (periods of time where you don’t pull, for example) and increase as you can**
  • Use a chart or app to track the amount of time between pulling ‘sessions,’ inspiring/motivating  yourself not to break your streak**

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(There are multiple phone apps that count days; it mostly comes down to whether there are any extra features that might help you, what kind of aesthetic you prefer, and whether you feel you need one that you’d have to pay for.)

  • Try a hobby that occupies your hands, like origami or knitting*
  • Brush your hair instead of pulling
  • Come up with a saying that you repeat out loud until the urge to pull passes or say “No” out loud
  • Form a ball with your fist and tighten the muscles in that arm
  • If your pulling is triggered by texture or colour, try dyeing  or care for your hair to minimise pulling**

(Hairs with a coarse texture is a really trigger for my pulling so I’ve been searching for a good product that at least reduces that problem for years. I love Aussie’s Miracle Moist Collection – the shampoo, conditioner, conditioner spray, and the 3 minute deep conditioner – because it makes my hair really sleek. It’s the best product I’ve found. I am trying to find a vegan, cruelty-free replacement but I do have to balance that search with how bad my Trich is and the state of my finances. I’m determined to keep looking though.)

  • Fiddle with dental floss or thread
  • Wear jewellery you can fiddle with/wear specially designed fidget jewellery**

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(I had a spinner ring for several years that I adored. It was silver with elephants on it and I was constantly wearing it and spinning the outer band. But recently it broke and the replacement isn’t quite the same: it isn’t as comfortable and so I don’t wear it as much.)

  • Use positive reinforcement (reward yourself even in the smallest way, like treating yourself to your favourite snack or having an extra indulgent bath or shower, when you achieve a certain period of time without pulling)
  • Weed the garden
  • Cut your nails short or wear acrylic nails, making it difficult to get ahold of strands
  • Style your hair in a way that prevents access to the area you pull from*
  • Try meditation or mindfulness*
  • Pull from or fiddle with the hairs of paintbrushes
  • Use a hand grip strengthener*
  • Make yourself aware of the action (putting essential oil or perfume on your hands, for example)
  • Attach a weight to your pulling hand

My latest strategy has been to use a strip of elastic (like the kind used in clothing or sewing) and attach one end to my portable desk, the other loosely around my wrist. Technically I can still reach my hair if I really try but it’s awkward and uncomfortable and so far, just the sensation of the elastic pulling against my wrist has stopped me trying to pull. It hasn’t been long so I don’t know how successful it will be long term but it seems to be working so far.

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It’s also worth mentioning that there are therapies, and then issue specific therapies within those therapies, such as Habit-Reversal Therapy (several studies from 1980 concluded that it had a 90% symptom reduction rate), which was born out of CBT. Hypnotherapy has also shown results for some people. However, access to CBT can take a long time via the NHS and these therapies can become incredibly expensive if you venture into the world of private healthcare.

There are also support groups, both online and in person (although not currently due to the COVID-19 pandemic). Search out Trichotillomania organisations and charities for general online support groups. You can also search for Facebook groups for both general and location specific support groups. I can’t speak to the effectiveness of these as I’ve never personally used them – I didn’t personally feel that that sort of support was one that would be helpful – but I know they make many people feel less alone and allow people to share tips and strategies.


I hope this list has been informative. Hopefully some of these tips have been or will be helpful. At the very least, it’s a varied collection of things to try. If you’re struggling with Trichotillomania, I’m thinking of you and I hope that something on this list will help.

An Assessment With A Difference

Over the summer, I received a letter from the local Neurobehavioral Unit. My GP had referred me to them for specialist support for pain (joint pain and pain in general) and I had an appointment with a psychiatrist there who specialises in and has done extensive research into hypermobility, pain, fatigue, and anxiety. I had no idea what to expect or what I was going to get out of it but I’m always willing (even if sometimes a little wary of) trying new things that might help.

My GP had recommended I have a full set of blood tests first so that we had the full, up to date picture before the appointment so I had that done at my local doctors’ surgery. I was a bit nervous about going – with the pandemic and all – but it was quick and easy. I was in and out in less than fifteen minutes. We got the results back a week later: for the most part they were good (my iron is back within the normal range, which was the problem last time) but my Vitamin D was seriously low, so low that I’ve been prescribed a ten week course of Vitamin D supplements.

And then this week, I had the actual appointment.


It was an online appointment but the conversation felt surprisingly easy and natural. Dr J (I’ve decided to refer to her this way to protect my privacy, even though doctor-patient records are, of course, confidential) introduced herself and we talked a bit about her work and what we could potentially get out of the session.

We talked about my Autism diagnosis and she had me do a series of movements with my hands and arms, all of which confirmed a diagnosis of hypermobility. As far as I’m aware it was in the notes from my Autism assessment but it hadn’t been officially diagnosed in its own right. She told me that people with a diagnosis of hypermobility are seven times more likely to have a form of Autism. Seven times! She asked me lots of questions about pain and fatigue (both of which I seriously struggle with) and went on to explain that hypermobile people have weak core muscles which often results in fatigue and pain in other areas as the body compensates. That makes so much sense. It’s all so fascinating to learn. The more I learn about the things I’ve been diagnosed with, the more I understand how they’re all part of a bigger picture, how they link together like the strands of a spider’s web or stars in a galaxy. It all gets clearer and I feel less overwhelmed and less lost; it feels like seeing order in things that used to look random and that is so incredibly helpful. All of the things I struggle with often make me feel broken and moments like this help me in the slow shift from ‘broken’ to… ‘incompatible,’ or something like that. Something less personal. Is it a program’s fault if it isn’t compatible with the computer? No. And with that in mind, it all becomes more about problem solving and work arounds and less about right and wrong. At least, that’s the concept I’m trying to work towards.

She said she would write to my GP and have me referred for pain management, specifically for hydrotherapy. I’ve just started swimming again – Mum and I finally managed to find a pool with a set up that feels safe, or as safe as is possible right now and safer than the others we’ve spoken to – so that would be perfect; I would love to do it, to get fitter and stronger through exercise I enjoy (and that doesn’t cause me ongoing physical pain). I don’t know if it’s available right now – with the pandemic and social distancing measures – but I can’t wait to do it whenever it is. But in the meantime, Dr J recommended some exercises to do in the pool, as well as some very gentle floor based core-strengthening pilates.

She also asked questions about sensitivities, allergies, hay fever, dizziness on standing, lightheadedness, and symptoms like that. I’ve definitely experienced all of those, although not all consistently. When I’d answered all of those questions, she recommended I have a heart rate test and a blood pressure check and said she’d include that recommendation in the notes she’d send to my GP. If they showed numbers within a specific range, given the other symptoms we’d talked about, that could apparently give us another area to explore, health wise.

We also talked about my anxiety and the medication I take for it. She suggested an alternative that might be better suited to my situation so that’s something we’ll discuss with my psychiatrist when I next speak to him.

So Mum and I learned a lot and we have plenty of avenues to explore…

  • Continue swimming, adding in the exercises she suggested to strengthen my core muscles.
  • Pursue the pain management route, particularly hydrotherapy (as available with the lockdown).
  • Try gentle pilates exercises for core muscles.
  • Get a heart rate test and a blood pressure check and see where that leads us.
  • Talk to my regular psychiatrist about the other anxiety medication.

To be completely honest, it was a bit of a strange experience. I mean, it was really helpful and productive but it was odd for a very specific reason. It was easy. It was a conversation. She asked me things and I answered them. She believed me; she offered lots of advice and suggestions; she’s writing everything up and sending it to my GP. It wasn’t a fight… when up until now, it’s always been a fight. It was this beautiful, precious thing: to ask for help and have someone give it to me, with kindness and understanding and generosity. There will be more fights, I’m sure… more battles, but for now, I’m going to hold onto this feeling and memorise it so that I have it in my pocket like a touchstone for the next time I have to fight to get someone to stop and listen.

World Mental Health Day 2020 – Mental Health For All

One of the biggest days on the Mental Health calendar.

The theme this year is ‘Mental Health for All’ and this is what the World Federation for Mental Health said about that choice…


Psychosocial support and mental health national plans need to address the mental health consequences of the COVID-19 pandemic and its impact on citizens.

It is therefore of great significance and importance that the theme for World Mental Health Day 2020 will be:

Mental Health for All
Greater Investment – Greater Access

Mental health is a human right – it’s time that mental health is available for all. Quality, accessible primary health care is the foundation for universal health coverage and is urgently required as the world grapples with the current health emergency.

We therefore need to make mental health a reality for all – for everyone, everywhere.


It’s not a bad message in principal. Everyone deserves to have access to good mental health care, especially when going through the trauma of a pandemic. That would be incredible. But how governments will cope with all of the pandemic related cases when they can’t even handle the current number, I have no idea. In the UK, for example, they’d have to actively stop defunding the NHS and start directing funds back to it and specifically to their mental health services. And the system itself would need a drastic overhaul: we need a system of professionals that can accurately identify symptoms, prescribe medication, treatment, or a therapist if necessary, provide resources such as suggested reading and contacts for local support groups, and schedule regular follow ups. Even the language around mental health is long overdue an update. That’s a massive undertaking but if they can do it, then they have my full support.

But back to World Mental Health Day. This slogan makes me so angry that I almost couldn’t write anything today. Mental healthcare for all, right? We have to have a global pandemic that affects the mental health of the entire world for mental health to truly rise up the list of priorities? So… what? All of us struggling with mental health problems before the pandemic weren’t worth the effort? That’s what the message sounds like to me.

I was diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses at eighteen and Autism Spectrum Disorder at twenty, although I was obviously struggling long before we could put a name on what was happening. And that’s the simple version. The long version involves hundreds of hours of research and phone calls and appointments, tears and screaming and self harming, invalidated over and over and over again. Since receiving my diagnoses and getting support in various forms, when my physical and mental health have allowed me to, I’ve done everything in my power to raise awareness and support for those of us struggling with our mental health. I’ve donated money, taken part in fundraisers, volunteered for research projects, supported charities, attended conferences, and so on. I’ve created art about my experiences and dedicated the proceeds to charity.

I did not and do not expect to change the world alone with these actions but think about every single person who has been doing the same and more up until this point. The message being circulated today on World Mental Health Day with this slogan seems to invalidate all of that. To me, it feels like all of these organisations promoting this phrase are saying that we weren’t important enough before to dedicate serious help or resources to; that our mental health problems weren’t caused by a massive global trauma and therefore they aren’t as important; that there weren’t enough of us to make the effort worth it so they weren’t going to bother; “oh, but now look at how many people need help, that makes it worth doing.”

These organisations do a lot of great work and I’ve always had great respect for them but right now… this feels like a betrayal and a hard one to swallow. Maybe I’m the only one who feels like this, maybe I’m not, but this is my blog and my blog is where I come to talk about how I feel. So there you go.

More voices telling me that my experience isn’t important or valid doesn’t change anything though. I’ll keep working, I’ll keep writing, I’ll keep helping in whatever way I can. Because this is bigger than all of the politics and bullshit that constantly get in the way of improving the lives of people who suffer from mental illness. I truly wish I had something more positive to say, on today of all days, but I don’t. I’m angry. And I’m sad. And I’m exhausted. Never have I felt so let down by the community that is supposed to support me and after all I’ve experienced, that’s really saying something.