Posted on August 12, 2023
Several months ago, I got an email with a survey for a new clothing line that prioritises neurodivergent people, known as Rare Birds. They already had plans to make the clothes soft, seamless, without labels, and so on, all things that neurodivergent individuals often struggle with; problems like these can trigger anything from difficulty concentration to full-blown meltdowns. This definitely appealed to me, having struggled with clothing and fabric issues all my life, and I eagerly filled out the first and then the second survey with my preferences, what a clothing line would ideally provide me with. Then, back in July I think, they launched the line and I bought a handful of items, hopeful that I’d find things I loved but also just curious about what they did with the survey results and how that data has translated into the actual clothes.
So here are my thoughts on my order, on the clothes that I bought.
My first impression when I unpacked them (apart from the overwhelming smell of plastic that plumed out of the box – it was so strong it actually gave me a headache and I knew I’d have to wash whatever I kept a handful of times before I could wear them) was that the fabric wasn’t what I’d been hoping for. I’m a 100% cotton girl and the clothes felt more lycra-like, more stretchy and slippery, which didn’t thrill me. But I wasn’t going to be put off just by that; I felt like I had to give them a real chance. First impressions and all that…
So, because I wanted to get a real sense of what the line was like, I’d bought several things (which ended up being pretty expensive but I’ll come back to that later):
Everyday Short-Sleeve T-Shirt (in black) – This big, loose t-shirt is described as “gentle on the skin and super soft to the touch” and in their ThermoSoft range, made of 68% Bamboo, 28% Organic Cotton, and 4% Elastane. It’s reported to be stretchy, durable, super soft, breathable, and thermo-regulating (the bamboo helps to regulate your body temperature, making sure you stay cool when it’s hot and warm when it’s cold). It was comfortable, if not my fabric preference, but not more comfortable than most of the t-shirts I already own and I wouldn’t wear it out; it’s a bit shapeless and I felt kind of frumpy in it.
Everyday Long-Sleeve T-Shirt (in black) – Part of the CloudComfort collection, this soft long-sleeve top is made from 95% Modal (made from beech trees and considered more eco-friendly than cotton) and 5% Elastane. They describe it as ultra soft, durable, lightweight, and breathable. The last part is what I liked most about it: it felt very light and airy, even if the fabric isn’t quite my preference. I think it would be good for summer, especially since I’ve semi-recently developed the compulsive urge to be covered up at all times. It’s a nicer shape than the short-sleeve t-shirt too. It was probably my favourite of the things we bought, although I’m still not sure how comfortable I’d feel wearing it outside the house; it’s not as flattering as I would have liked (and I don’t mean tight – I wouldn’t want it to be tight – I mean in regards to its shape).
Everyday Leggings (in black) – Made of 86% Organic Cotton and 14% Elastane, these leggings from the FlexSoft range (described as blending “the softness of Organic Cotton with the stretchiness of Elastane to create a fabric that maintains its shape with ease while being gentle on the skin”) are supposed to be soft and comfortable (even for the very sensitive skin), stretchy but strong, lightweight, and will retain their shape despite frequent wash and wear. They were strong and supportive but I’m not completely convinced by the shaping of them: the waistband was uncomfortably tight at a strange point of my torso, which was particularly unpleasant when sitting.
Everyday Joggers (in black) – Also in the ThermoSoft range, these thin sweatpants are made of 68% Bamboo, 28% Organic Cotton, and 4% Elastane: stretchy, durable, super soft, breathable, and thermo-regulating. I found them light and thin (not heavy, like the fabric of some sweatpants) and I think they’d be particularly good in the summer but they’re far too like pyjamas to ever wear out. And while I know sweatpants are about comfort and not about looking good, I felt actively unattractive in them, which I think I would struggle with long term. (The idea of Dopamine Dressing is something that I’m intrigued by and want to test out at some point to see if it does improve my mood and confidence and motivation).
DreamSeam Socks (in black) – They were beautifully soft, I have to give them that, made of 75% Bamboo, 23% Polyester, and 2% Elastane, and I love that they don’t have seams (I’ve been wearing my socks inside out for years in order to avoid them) but I couldn’t even bear to open them when I saw how expensive they were (£10 for one pair of socks – when I’d made the order, Mum and I had been talking about it, she’d done it on her laptop, and either she didn’t mention the pricing to me or I missed her telling me). That’s just too expensive (especially in the case of the socks when you can just turn them inside out).
And that was something I wanted to talk about in general. A significant percentage of the neurodivergent population are unemployed for various reasons and so to charge so much for basic items makes them, as far as I can tell, pretty unavailable to the people they’re making them for. I want to support them and I can understand many of the reasons why they may need to cost what they do but I certainly can’t afford it as a general practice. It’s all too expensive for me to base my wardrobe around; they are simple, basic pieces after all and not fashion or statement pieces for which you’d expect to spend more. I want to support them but while they’re this expensive, there’s a limit to what I could buy.
Another general issue that I noticed is that none of the clothes have sizes bigger than XL. Other than excluding anyone who wears sizes bigger than this, it’s not uncommon for neurodivergent people to want their clothes loose to avoid feeling uncomfortable or overstimulated; while it’s true that most of these clothes are roomy, I’d imagine that anyone who’s size L or above and looking for baggy clothes will struggle without bigger sizes. Maybe this is something they’ll introduce over time but I have noticed it while perusing their website.
And on a personal note, I didn’t feel good in pretty much any of it: I felt unattractive and like, to others, as if I hadn’t put any effort into my appearance. I know they’re meant to be the basics but still, they didn’t make me feel good about how I looked or confident in my appearance, which we know is really important when it comes to our mental health, our confidence, our relationships… As I mentioned earlier, the idea of Dopamine Dressing – dressing in a way that boosts your mood, your productivity, your confidence – is real, even if the evidence is still largely anecdotal in the neurodivergent population: if I’m excited about the clothes I’m wearing and how I look, I’m likely to feel more confident and social and motivated because I feel good in myself. I can’t believe I’m the only person who feels this way. That is something I think is lacking here and hopefully will be addressed in the future.
Although I didn’t have a hugely positive experience this time, I think that overall, it’s a really positive thing. Different people want different things so I can hardly be annoyed that it’s not everything I wanted right off the bat; I guess I just hoped that I’d like it more than I do. But as I said, I think it’s a really great venture that I am excited about and will continue to support. It’s brand new and you’ve got to start somewhere; there are so many avenues that they can explore from this point. I’ll be keeping an eye on it to see what they go on to release and whether that is more my thing.
Category: adhd, anxiety, autism, body image, chronic pain, meltdowns, mental health, response Tagged: adhd, anxiety, anxiety disorder, asd, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, autism, autism spectrum disorder, brand review, clothing, clothing line, clothing review, fabric, first impression, generalised anxiety disorder, mental health, mental illness, neurodivergence, neurodivergent, rare birds, review, sensitive, sensory, sensory issues, sensory overload, sensory overwhelm, sensory processing, sensory sensitivity, specialist clothing
Posted on August 8, 2023
Happy World Cat Day! I am both deeply a cat person and a dog person, even though I don’t have a dog right now, and my cats are one of the great loves of my life so, for World Cat Day, I thought I’d research and share why cats are so incredibly good for us. But before I get started with that, I wanted to share my favourite fact: we know that our relationship with cats goes back thousands of years but some research shows that cats essentially domesticated themselves in South Asia, befriending humans for a ‘mutually beneficial relationship’ (although, let’s face it, it probably started out as an easy way of getting food). (x) And clearly, we’ve always been obsessed with them: in 889 CE (also known as AD), twenty-two year old Japanese Emperor Uda described his new cat with familiar passion: “the colour of the fur is peerless,” “when it stands, its cry expresses profound loneliness, like a black dragon floating above the clouds,” and “I am convinced it is superior to all other cats.” (x) Who of us cat owners have not described our cats in similar ways and with similar pride?
IN THERAPY
EFFECTS ON THE BRAIN
EFFECT ON EMOTIONS
EFFECTS ON THE BODY
EFFECTS ON LIFESTYLE
I found an excellent story during my research…
“I have a cat and I couldn’t manage without him. Yes, he provides comfort and unconditional love, but he also keeps me on track. I used to work with chimps and sign language, so when I got a kitten, I placed a very high priority on his communication skills and on shaping gestures he used naturally. I also used food puzzles and other things to keep his mind active. He knows what time I need to be up for work in the morning. Unless I tell him the night before that we can sleep in, he pokes me awake 3 or 4 minutes before the alarm. If I space out cuddling with him, he gives me a minute or so, and then he stands up and uses his limited gestures to say firmly, ‘You. GO,’ and waits to make sure I’m up before he leaves the room. He knows how long it takes me to wash and dress. If I dawdle too long deciding what to wear, he’s in the doorway checking to see what’s taking so long. If I leave something in the oven and forget about it, or leave a burner on after I’ve taken a pot off it, he lets me know. Sometimes I assume he’s just looking for attention and scold him for making a ruckus when I’m trying to focus, but if it’s a safety issue, he won’t stop until I give up and say, ‘FINE! SHOW me what’s wrong,’ and then he leads me to the stove, or wherever the issue is. He’s most certainly the grown-up in the relationship.” (x)
MY CATS
If you’ve followed this blog for a while, you’ll know that I have five cats, all related to each other. Lucy came first and then we kept her second litter of kittens, Tiger and Mouse, and then – to even the vet’s surprise – Mouse suddenly had two kittens, Sooty and Sweep, that – for a number of reasons, including the pandemic – we ended up keeping. I love them all dearly and it’s sweet how, not only have they all developed different relationships with each other, they’ve developed different relationships with me.
Lucy is my anchor. She’s always there, curled up next to me or snoozing somewhere in the same room. She doesn’t want to be cuddled all of the time but she always wants to be nearby; she likes to know what’s happening and what I’m doing. It’s very sweet. And she probably looks after me more than I look after her: she regularly checks in with me, she follows me around, she gets anxious if she can’t be in a room with me, she’s always really pleased to see me when I reappear from behind the shower curtain, she tries to usher me to bed when it gets really late and then sits with me to make sure I don’t get up again, and so on. It’s adorable. She’s the queen of the house though and she absolutely knows it.
Tiger is my snuggle buddy. Up until recently, she’d come for a cuddle now and then but she was usually too busy exploring the garden or playing with the other cats (plus she does have a favourite spot for snoozing). But after I went to the US and then Germany, it’s almost like she realised that she really doesn’t like it when I go away – I think all five cats got very comfortable with my Mum and I being home all the time since the pandemic began. As soon as I got home, she was all over me and ever since, she’s been coming to me for long cuddle sessions multiple times a day. It’s very cute, especially given how independent she was before. I’m certainly not turning her down, even if her tail is a weapon of mass disruption.
Mouse and Sweep are my floofs. Sweep has always been Mouse’s baby and they are definitely a bonded pair, which is a gorgeous thing to witness: they are curled up together all the time and even in the summer heat, they lie as close together as possible without touching (although Sweep often reaches out with her paw to touch Mouse, like she’s reassuring herself that she’s still there). Sweep frequently runs to Mouse for reassurance after something traumatic happens (the most traumatic thing to ever happen to her is the unexpected appearance of the window cleaner’s brush) or runs into the room, calling for her. It’s so cute how much she loves. She’ll rush up to Mouse and flop down on top of her, getting as close as possible, something that I’m not sure Mouse always appreciates. Mouse has always been the most skittish of the pride but she’s getting more affectionate and playful as she gets older, which is lovely. And we’ve started trying to teach them all tricks, mainly for our own entertainment, and Mouse has definitely been the fastest to pick them up. And Sweep is the complete opposite. I’ve started referring to her as ‘my little neurodivergent baby.’ I don’t know if there’s any proof that neurodiversity exists in any species other than humans but it seems unlikely that it’s just us; I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s only so obvious in humans because neurodivergent individuals are forced to live in a neurotypical society, something that animals don’t seem to have, certainly not in the same way. If those pressures aren’t there, then maybe neurodivergence doesn’t manifest in the same way. Anyway. I think of Sweep as neurodivergent because she seems to think and process completely differently to the other four, like they think in words and she thinks in pictures – or the cat equivalent. She still struggles with the cat flap, she doesn’t seem to understand how doing tricks works at all, she likes to hide away from everyone but has her special bond with Mouse, she seems to experience a lot more anxiety than the rest of them… I don’t know. She’s just very different to the others, not that we love her any less.

Sooty is my baby. She’s always seemed to think of me as her mother, even when she was a teeny tiny kitten. I wonder if that’s because Sweep and Mouse are always so entangled but whatever the reason, it’s adorable and I’m not turning down her affections. She always wants to sit on the sofa with me, demanding that I stretch out my legs so that she can stretch out between them; it’s her favourite spot. She’s also very playful and she and Lucy are a particularly playful pair, although she’ll play with anyone who will engage with her. She still feels very much a baby, Sweep too, even though they’re four now (which seems unbelievable to me but then I guess the pandemic really screwed with our perception of time) and that’s very sweet. I kind of hope she always will; I think she’ll probably always be my baby (although, to a degree, they’re all my babies).

APRIDEOFCATS
To avoid overwhelming people with cat pictures on my Instagram, which is focussed on me as a singersongwriter, I created a new account, aprideofcats, so that I could post as many as I wanted. It’s as much as for my own entertainment as anything else. I stopped using it for a while – when I was struggling with social media in general – but I’ve recently started posting on it and having a great time, trying to choose between the ridiculous amount of cute pictures that I have of them.
So there you have it: concrete evidence that cats are amazing. I’m just kidding, although I do love cats and my cats in particular. I think it’s fascinating that just spending time with animals – and in this case, cats – can have such dramatic effects on us and our health, physical and mental. I hope this has been interesting and fun and if you liked the cute little faces of my cats, please do follow my cat instagram: there will be plenty more photos of them going up.
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Category: about me, adhd, animals, anxiety, autism, depression, emotions, mental health, quotes, research, sleep, therapy Tagged: adhd, anxiety, anxiety disorder, asd, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, autism, autism spectrum disorder, autistic, blood pressure, cat, cats, confidence, depression, history, kitten, kittens, loneliness, mindfulness, neurodivergence, neurodivergent, neurotypical, pet therapy, post traumatic stress disorder, ptsd, research studies, self esteem, time management, wellbeing, world cat day
Posted on July 8, 2023
After the Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome diagnosis, one of my many referrals was to the Pain Clinic (something I didn’t know existed). At that point, I’d been in pain for about eight months and the fact that this thing even existed had me feeling optimistic for the first time in ages. But then the weeks started passing and that feeling faded. In that time, I believe there were a number of other referrals from the Physiotherapy and Occupational Therapy services so I don’t know how many times they actually had requests about me but someone finally got in touch five months after the initial referral.
This post spans from May 2021 to April 2022.
MAY 2021
The initial contact was over the phone. We got a call from one of the Pain Clinic team and we had a long conversation; we were on the phone for an hour. She asked me loads of questions and got a detailed history; she also talked me through what the Pain Clinic does and what they can provide. She went away to go over the notes she’d made and figure out what a good next step would be and we had a chance to think about what might be the right path for me.
JULY 2021
Seven weeks after the first call, we got a second call from a different woman; apparently she had a different background to the first woman we’d spoken with and had a load of different questions. We spent another hour on the phone and before we hung up, she told us that she would be taking her notes to the team (which is made up of a group of different clinicians and therapists) and that they would get back to me with their suggestions.
Two weeks later, she called back and, after some discussion, we decided that seeing a pain psychologist was the best way forward – understanding pain, understanding chronic pain, figuring out the triggers, learning how to manage it, and so on – and she set up the first of the six sessions.
AUGUST 2021
The first session was an hour long video call. We’d somehow missed the information packet that the pain psychologist had sent but she was kind enough to go through a lot of the information – a basic understanding of pain – during the session. It was okay but it was very focussed on managing pain, which felt incredibly frustrating: I was fine until May 2020 and then suddenly I was in pain and at no point had anyone stopped and asked why and I want to know why. But no one seems interested in figuring out the why. I got very upset: I spend my whole life just managing things. I don’t even really feel like a person anymore, just a collection of problems that need managing that leave me no space or energy for actually living. The call ended in tears with me curled up in a depressed ball on the sofa.
Given how much the appointment had taken out of me, we decided that it was just too much while I was in the final stretch of my Masters, which the psychologist was really supportive of, and we arranged to start again when it was over so that I could really make the most of the sessions.
OCTOBER 2021
I had my second session five weeks after I finished my Masters (I was completely exhausted from the final semester and, with my Granny’s death, it took me a while to find my feet again). It was mostly a catch up about how my pain had been since the first session; we talked about how constant it had been (just sometimes better, sometimes worse), how it doesn’t seem to be triggered by anything specific. I got so distressed just talking about it that the psychologist suggested that we talk to the advanced practitioner for more insight into hEDS related pain. She said she’d talk to their team and recommended I talk to my GP about a better pain medication. We, again, agreed to pause the sessions until we had some clarity on those two things. I still haven’t found a pain medication that works reliably but it wasn’t long before we got a letter for an appointment with the advanced practitioner.
NOVEMBER 2021
At the beginning of November, I had the appointment with the advanced practitioner. In hindsight, it was probably doomed from the start, considering how unwell I was having just started the ADHD meds – I had to stand outside for a good ten minutes trying to get the nausea under control. And then, just because things had to get worse, I got hit by the electric shock like pain in my back right as the appointment was starting; I could barely hear what everyone was saying, the pain was so debilitating.
As it turns out, there had been some sort of confusion or miscommunication because the two doctors were under the impression that they were showing me some physio-like exercises rather than give me guidance about hEDS related pain as I had discussed with the pain psychologist. One of them just kept talking about all of the “ingredients” of pain – like diet, sleep, exercises, medication, levels of anxiety, emotional state, and so on – and after a while, I just couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I was upset, in pain, and feeling so sick; I just couldn’t listen to another person give me vague advice without telling me how to actually apply these things to my life with all of my problems. And, on top of that, I was sick of everyone dodging my questions: why would this pain just start and why is ‘management’ the only thing being talked about? Why is no one interested in finding out why it started and whether it can be fixed? When the pain started, the only thing that had changed was my anxiety over the pandemic and it’s not like I was the only person who was experiencing that. So why did it start? If it can just appear, what’s to say it can’t disappear again if I do the right things (which obviously relies on me knowing what the right things are)?
Eventually this doctor gave me a somewhat murky explanation: that the trauma of the autistic challenges and the anxiety relating to the pandemic, compounded by the de-conditioning of the stabilising muscle in the early months of the pandemic, has resulted in the pain I’ve been experiencing. I’m not convinced by this but it’s the closest thing to an explanation that I’ve received so far. Anyway, they said that they’d take my case to their multi-disciplinary meeting and see what the suggestions were. I’ll take what I can get but I didn’t have a lot of hope: the last time I was in a similar situation, the Chronic Fatigue Service told me my case was too complicated and then just abandoned me. I’ve also had NHS doctors tell me that the NHS can’t help me and that I should go private – like that’s the automatic next step. They do know how expensive private healthcare is, right? Particularly if you have a chronic condition? So I did not leave that appointment feeling optimistic.
Later that month, we got a letter informing us that the original referral to the Pain Clinic from December 2020 had just gone through. Eleven months that took. I’m trying to be grateful that one of the other referrals went through faster but it was hard when it felt like we hadn’t made any progress at all.
APRIL 2022
The pain had reduced some by the end of 2021 but it flared up again (mostly in my hips and lower legs) in early February, which was likely exacerbated by my lack of movement while struggling with the effects of the ADHD meds – extreme nausea, depression, insomnia – and therefore not swimming. Things were better for a while – between more daily movement and starting hydrotherapy – but then it flared up again in late April, with awful pain in my elbows, arms, and hands.
When I realised how long this post was getting, I decided to split it up by year (yeah, because the whole process took actual years). This is the first instalment from Spring 2021 to Spring 2022. The next part will be up soon.
Category: adhd, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, covid-19 pandemic, death, diagnosis, emotions, exercise, heds, hydrotherapy, identity, medication, mental health, sleep, therapy, treatment, university Tagged: adhd, adhd medication, advanced practitioner, asd, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, autism, autism spectrum disorder, autistic, autistic adult, chronic fatigue, chronic fatigue service, chronic pain, covid-19, diagnosis, ehlers danlos syndrome, gp, heds, hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome, hypermobility, masters, masters degree, nausea, nhs, occupational therapy, pain, pain clinic, pain management, pain medication, pain psychologist, pandemic, pandemic 2020, pandemic anxiety, physiotherapy, private health care, side effects, swimming

Hi! I’m Lauren Alex Hooper. Welcome to my little blog! I write about living with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), ADHD (Inattentive Type), and Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS), as well as several mental health issues.
I’m a singer-songwriter (it’s my biggest special interest and I have both a BA and MA in songwriting) so I’ll probably write a bit about that too.
My first single, ‘Invisible,’ is on all platforms, with all proceeds going to Young Minds.
My debut EP, Honest, is available on all platforms, with a limited physical run at Resident Music in Brighton.
I’m currently working on an album about my experiences as an autistic woman.
Hi! I’m Lauren Alex Hooper. Welcome to my little blog! I write about living with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), ADHD (Inattentive Type), and Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS), as well as several mental health issues.
I’m a singer-songwriter (it’s my biggest special interest and I have both a BA and MA in songwriting) so I’ll probably write a bit about that too.
My first single, ‘Invisible,’ is on all platforms, with all proceeds going to Young Minds.
My debut EP, Honest, is available on all platforms, with a limited physical run at Resident Music in Brighton.
I’m currently working on an album about my experiences as an autistic woman.
Finding Hope