Nashville Trip 2024

Posted on June 21, 2025

This post is so very late (and believe me, there are posts that are even later than this…) but with the brain fog and chronic fatigue and everything going on over the last eighteen months and change, I never managed to finish it. Until now. I have finally finished it. There are multiple posts over the last couple of years that I have abandoned because I was struggling to finish them and after a while, they didn’t feel relevant anymore. But this trip was so special and brought me so much joy that I wanted to finish and post it, especially since I’m not sure when I’ll be back…

I don’t think I planned this trip particularly well, if I’m completely honest. I ended up with far too much time at the beginning of the trip – when I was really struggling with being away from home and away from Izzy – with not enough to do and then the end was very chaotic, trying to get as many things done as possible before I had to go. So it wasn’t ideal, for my anxiety or my energy levels.

Originally, I’d planned to arrive later and stay later but I’d shifted the trip when I learned that Song Suffragettes was celebrating their ten year anniversary. I’ve only played one Song Suffragettes show myself but I’ve been to many shows over the years, in person and online, and met some amazing people through it so I thought it would be fun to go and celebrate with them; the previous anniversary shows had been a lot of fun with amazing songwriters and special guests. But a couple of weeks after I’d bought the tickets and changed my flight, my friend and one of the original Song Suffragettes, Kalie Shorr, shared her feelings about the event and the organisation on Twitter:

“got an email with a discount code to buy tickets the Song Suffragettes 10 year anniversary show, even though I spent 8 years helping build it and played 300+ (unpaid) shows […] I’ve stayed silent long enough, and I just don’t care anymore. I gave so much of my time, cared so deeply, and have been completely written out of the history even though I had played since the very first show they ever had.”

I was – and still am – appalled at how they’ve treated her and, I imagine, many other young women. I feel especially bad for Kalie (and the other original/early Song Suffragettes who put in so much unpaid work to get this organisation off the ground and build its core fanbase) who had put so much work and time and love into Song Suffragettes for so long. Her photos were still being used (although they’ve since been taken off the website) and videos of her performances are still on their YouTube channel, promoting their shows (one of her videos is their most popular video by far – over a million views compared to less than two hundred thousand) and yet her vital part in their story has been deliberately omitted. The event (and, of course, the whole organisation) was instantly soured and I spent a long time deciding what to do, whether to go to the event or not. In a perfect world, I wouldn’t have gone but having bought the tickets and rescheduled my flight to go, I felt that I couldn’t just skip it. And part of me was curious to see how they’d handle the event. So I decided that I would go and then personally (and publicly) say goodbye to the organisation.

My Mum and I flew out to Nashville early in the morning after a long day recording drums for the EP that I’m now, in 2025, in the middle of promoting and releasing. I was exhausted and I hate flying – I find it to be a sensory nightmare – but we got there safe and sound and settled into our accommodation. The Song Suffragettes show was the next night and I immediately noticed how different the vibe was from the previous anniversary shows I’d been able to attend. I feel confident in my assumption that the majority of attendees were there to see the ‘special guest,’ Wynonna Judd. I don’t emphasise the term special guest to undermine the impact Wynonna Judd has had on the music industry: she is a very impressive guest but rather than rounds of Song Suffragettes with a special guest or two, as had been the case at previous anniversary shows, this show was basically all special guests. They’d invited Liz Rose, Laura Veltz, Maddie & Tae, and Tenille Arts to name just a few; there were very few actual Song Suffragettes and no mention of the original and early performers who had worked so incredibly hard to make Song Suffragettes what it is today. That pissed me off. What was supposed to be a celebration of the organisation, ten years of achievements, and the women who’ve performed on their stages felt like it had very little to do with any of those things. It felt like a Wynonna Judd tribute night with the actual Wynonna Judd headlining, plus what I found to be a pretty uncomfortable amount of fawning over Todd Cassetty, the founder of Song Suffragettes. (I have more thoughts about that and about Song Suffragettes but that’s not the point of this post.)

The tenth anniversary celebration of @songsuffragettes was packed full of incredible female songwriters and artists 💛 The performances were amazing and I’m grateful to have been given the opportunity to see these women play live but I was more than a little sad not to see more of a nod to the organisation’s history and the women who were and still are so fundamental to what it has become. I would’ve loved to see more of these women, such as the brilliant @kalieshorr, at least mentioned for the amount of passion and work they’ve put into the shows over the years. My best wishes to Song Suffragettes and to every individual Song Suffragette – here’s to another decade of successes 💛💛💛 (x)

I struggled with how to caption my post about the event – how to acknowledge what it has given me and a lot of young women, how to share my disappointment in how the original members (particularly Kalie – yes, I keep mentioning her but she’s a friend so, of course, I’m going to be firmly in her corner) had been treated, and how to say goodbye to Song Suffragettes, even if that part was just for me). This was what I came up with. I wasn’t completely sure about it but felt it was the best my jetlagged brain could come up with. Apparently it was good enough though, since Kalie shared it on Instagram with her thanks for calling out the rewriting of Song Suffragettes’ history; that reassured me of my desire to say something publicly.

Had that been a more positive experience, I think I would’ve felt (and functioned) better during the less structured days before the festival and my various plans started. My mental health had already been in a downward spiral before I left and that unallocated time only made it worse: my depression and anxiety were really awful and I had multiple very distressing meltdowns. I also found it much harder to adjust than I have in the past: my sensory difficulties, for example, were much worse than usual and the differences between home and Nashville felt so amplified that I felt constantly overwhelmed and exhausted. By the end of the trip, I was so overstimulated by the BEDSHEETS that I was sleeping on the sofa (which wasn’t much better, to be honest – another night and I probably would’ve been sleeping on the floor).

But having said all of that, I’d been so busy in the weeks leading up to the flight out – meetings, meltdowns, concerts, therapy, migraines, recording sessions, and more – that it was probably good to have some recovery time before jumping into Tin Pan South and all of my other plans. My Mum and I spent the days resting and doing some of our favourite Nashville things, all of which were wonderfully gentle and joyful…

The Pancake Pantry – As I’ve repeatedly talked about on this blog, I have immense trouble with eating in public places (and eating in general) but I love The Pancake Pantry in Nashville. There are multiple dishes that I not only can eat but actually really enjoy eating, especially their Chocolate Sin pancakes (pictured below). And since I (obviously) rarely get the opportunity to have them, we always make sure to go multiple times and I only enjoy them more every time.
The Candle Bar – One of my favourite Nashville traditions is to go to The Candle Bar, where you can make your own candles: you choose the container, the scent, and then mix it with the wax. They do the last step of setting it. Before my first visit, I’d never found a candle that I could tolerate but I fell in love with their Pink Pepper Grapefruit scent (at some point, it became an ‘autumn scent’ and it wasn’t an available choice at the time of our trips but we’d explain my sensitivity and how far we’ve travelled and they’ve always been kind enough to get it out for us, which I so appreciate – I love it and find it really helpful when I’m having an anxious day). On this trip, I also discovered their Mandarin Mango scent and fell in love with that too; we ended up treating ourselves and going twice. It was a struggle to get them home since they’re not exactly light but I’m so grateful we came back with double our usual number of candles, given that I’m not sure when I’ll be back.
Chocolate Brownie at The Commodore Grille – Almost as much as I love the Chocolate Sin pancakes, I LOVE the chocolate brownie at The Commodore Grille (again, pictured below). They’re incredible, with ice cream, whipped cream, and chocolate sauce. if I wasn’t supposedly a responsible grown up, I could live on these brownies, as well as the pancakes, of course.

(Left: Chocolate Sin pancakes and hash browns at The Pancake Pantry // Middle: me, making my candle // Right: the chocolate brownie at The Commodore Grille)

I also did some gentle songwriting: I didn’t push myself too hard though; it was just for fun and decompression and continuing to work out my feelings about the still very recent, very traumatic ending of my time at therapy. I spent a lot of my ‘rest time’ (the irony of this does not escape me – I’m also very aware of how reflective of my resting skills this is) writing up what had happened for a blog post, getting the experience out of my system and into a format that made it feel (a little bit) easier to engage with. I also managed to sign into one of my favourite poetry group’s workshops and ended up writing a poem so raw that I wasn’t actually able to read it aloud during the sharing section at the end of the session. So my feelings were all very close to the surface; I felt really vulnerable, emotionally, which in some ways made the difficult feelings of the trip harder but it also felt like I was really open and receptive to all of the positive ones. It was messy but, given the super special moments of the trip, I wouldn’t change a thing (I mean, I always wish I could see more of my favourite people but I feel incredibly grateful to have gotten the time that I did).

The other non-music part of the trip that I still think about with great fondness were the multiple storms we got to experience. I’m sure some people will read that with confusion and/or bemusement but I LOVE thunderstorms: I love the change in air pressure; I love the colours of the clouds and peaks at the sky; I love the power of the thunder and the lightning, both such tremendous, breath-taking forces of nature; and I love the heavy, wet rain. While it’s a joke as old as time that English weather is made up of rain, rain, and more rain, the rain in Nashville is nothing like English rain. The rain where I live is mostly just annoying but the storms in Nashville (and I mean storms, not tornados) make me feel so amazingly alive and like my body could explode with joy. Each time the skies opened, I went sprinting outside; I felt a boost in my mood and mental health/stability every time I felt a storm brewing.

(Left: Me in the rain // Right: Me in the torrential rain)

I also got to hang out and catch up with Caylan, my oldest friend in Nashville: we met on my first full day in Nashville, during my first visit in 2016, and we’ve been friends ever since. She’s truly lovely (with a very cute dog that I’ve watched grow from a little pup) and an amazing singer and songwriter. It was actually during that first trip that we wrote the first draft of a song on my upcoming EP, as well as a song that I cannot wait to release someday. We got to catch up with each other’s lives, enthuse about each other’s music, and even fit in a trip to Pancake Pantry together; it’s always such a joy to see her.

For the first time in all of my trips to Nashville, I didn’t actually attend many Tin Pan South shows. That had been my plan but then, before the schedule was announced, I found out that one of friends, Candi Carpenter, was releasing their debut album during that week and would be having a release show and party. The fact that, somehow, I was actually going to be in Nashville when that happened felt like a gift from the universe and there was no way I was going to miss that. And then, not long after, I found out that one of my other friends, Kalie (who I mentioned above and through whom I’d met Candi) would be flying into Nashville for Candi’s show and would also be playing a writers’ round while in town. I wasn’t going to miss that either. As much as I love Tin Pin South, getting the rare chance to see my incredible friends perform was always going to be my priority.

The actual week of Tin Pan South was incredibly busy and incredibly stressful, trying to organise everything and make sure I’d be able to be everywhere I needed to be when I needed to be there; it was a logistical headache but it was worth it since I got to see everybody I’d hoped to see. First up was Kalie’s songwriters’ round. There were multiple rounds and a lot of really great songwriters and artists but Kalie is so unique: her journey, her career, her lyrical voice, the stories she tells… She really stood out; she always does (and I think that’s why she and Candi write together so well and made such great co-headline acts on tour – because they’re both so unlike anyone else and embrace that so intentionally). The first song she played was called ‘Man In Your Songs.’ She’s posted snippets of it on social media so it was really cool to finally hear the whole song. Next was ‘Running At Night,’ which she’s been playing a lot lately on social media and on livestreams; I think she’d recently finished it and was really proud of it (and rightly so). She announced that she was officially working on her second album; her debut, Open Book, remains one of my all time favourite albums and the unreleased stuff she’s been sharing has been so good so that’s very exciting news! Her final song was ‘Dirty Movies,’ which I’d actually heard before, when she’d played at Bush Hall in London on the Song Suffragettes UK Tour in October 2022. It’s more explicit than the music she’s already released and she’s definitely testing boundaries that she was held to previously, both by being signed and by being known as a Country artist. There were a few lyrics that were a bit too explicit for me but regardless of that, it’s still a very cleverly written song. I don’t think that three songs can an album reflect, especially so early in the process, but the growth and evolution in both her writing and the emotional concepts of the songs are obvious. As I said, I will always love Open Book but her second album is no doubt going to be just as bold and unique and visceral.

It was such a treat to see her perform (one day I will see her perform her show, goddamn it) and we even got to hug and catch up briefly afterwards, which was lovely. We were also able to hang out – and fangirl – together at Candi’s release show and afterparty, as well as managing to slot in a coffee and a catch up before I flew home and Kalie, a few days later, flew back to Nashville.

(Kalie Shorr performing at Live Oak, Music Row)

The following night was Candi’s release show and party for Demonology. The album had come out earlier in the week and I’d had it on repeat; it’s an incredible album. Back in June 2023, Candi had released Demonology – Part 1 as an EP and so I’d been expecting (and semi-patiently waiting for) a Part 2 EP but then Candi announced that the project was being released as a full album so that was very exciting! The ‘new’ songs are fantastic and fit so well with the ‘old’ songs; it’s an album that really feels like a tapestry that Candi has carefully woven to give the listener a full and intricately detailed glimpse into their life. It’s a really beautiful album with songs that span the emotional spectrum, from gut-wrenching anger and grief and vulnerability to joyful silliness, to biting self-awareness, and existential relief. I love every single song on it but I think my absolute favourites have to be ‘Exorcist,’ ‘Antisocial Butterfly,’ ‘Skinny,’ ‘Serial Killer,’ ‘Nervous System,’ ‘Back From the Dead,’ and ‘Memento Mori.’ That’s more than half of the album and even that was hard to narrow down… Listen to it: you won’t be disappointed.

For the show, there was the fun challenge of dressing up as one of the tracks but since the album didn’t come out until I was already in Nashville and I do not love shopping there, plus I had suitcase space to consider, I had to go minimal: I found a T-shirt online that said ‘ALL OF MY SYSTEMS ARE NERVOUS’ as an homage to ‘Nervous System,’ and that was good enough for me. But there were some super creative costumes – the album is (incidentally or intentionally) full of excellent imagery to take inspiration from. Having got lost on the way to the venue, the space was absolutely packed and the support act, Mel Bryant & the Mercy Makers, were already on. Candi was right there at the entrance and the chaotic crowd around them was somewhere between a meet and greet and a friends and family reunion; it was a lovely vibe. As soon as they saw me, they swept me into a huge hug and we were joyfully rambling at each other about the album and how excited we were. We also took lots of pictures and Candi signed the album poster I bought with the loveliest message (getting it home safely was a challenge but we managed it). It was a super emotional night and that was just the beginning.

I had to wedge myself in along a wall to fit into the main venue – I literally couldn’t crouch down to pick up my drink from the floor, space was that tight. But even though I’d missed part of their set, Mel Bryant & the Mercy Makers were awesome and I am now a dedicated follower. Mel has an incredible voice, the whole band had such a gorgeous sound, and I just fell in love with the songs: the melodies were stunning and super catchy and the lyrics were so vivid and poignant. My favourite was ‘Wildflower’ and I downloaded the rest of their music as soon as I got home that night.

(Left: Mel Bryant & the Mercy Makers, opening for Candi Carpenter’s Demonology Release Show at The Basement // Right: Candi Carpenter performing at their Demonology Release Show at The Basement)

Candi was incredible. Given the chaos and stress of release week, I wouldn’t have been overly surprised if the show had been a little rough around the edges but oh my god, it was fantastic. I can honestly say that it was probably the best live show I’ve ever seen and I still stand by that, having seen The ERAS Tour (although, of course, they’re very different animals). But the show was just SO GOOD: Candi, joined by Amanda McCoy on electric guitar and backing vocals (plus Kalie on the backing vocals for ‘Cult’ as well, one of the songs that she cowrote), is an amazing performer, with the perfect amounts of seasoned professional and emotional human being (they were trying not to cry after just the first song, as were many of us, I think – I certainly was); the songs were even more powerful live; not unlike the visualiser for ‘Strawberry Starburst,’ the performance featured a dancing pink Power Ranger who threw strawberry starburst sweets into the audience, which was hilarious; everyone knew all of the words and was singing (and sometimes screaming) along so loudly and I had great fun fangirling over Candi with Kalie (it is, after all, not that often that we are all in the same location and able to do that); everyone knowing the words to the bridge of ‘Nervous System’ (if you know, you know), which momentarily blew Candi’s mind; the lovely onstage chemistry between Candi and Amanda and the super special connection in the room, like we were all connected, to Candi and to each other; the emotional exorcism of screaming ‘Nervous System’ with joy to ‘Back From the Dead’ with fury to ‘Everybody Goes to Hell’ with peace; ‘Memento Mori’ was the perfect finale, the final lyric of the show being “I don’t wanna be another sad story.” It was just incredible and I think I went through every emotion at one point or another; it was so fucking special. By the end, Candi was so overwhelmed and emotional – in the best way – that they let themselves just collapse on the ground and lie there for a moment before getting up to address everyone one more time; then practically the whole crowd descended to hug them but we had to pack up and get out so the late show could start. A big group of us headed over to The Countrypolitan for the afterparty, which was more of a social gathering than a traditional afterparty: we got to chat (someone of us having never met in real life and only ever talked online) and hang out and hype Candi whenever they were in earshot… It was all just so joyful. I got to see a bit more of Kalie, which was really nice, given how rarely I get to see her, and I met so many lovely people.

(Left: Candi Carpenter performing at their Demonology Release Show at The Basement // Right: Candi and I at the afterparty at The Countrypolitan)

As the space cleared out, we spread out and Candi ended up playing a few more songs acoustically, including ‘Skinny’ and a stunning cover of ‘Hallelujah.’ They were such moving performances that I was welling up all over again. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Candi is such a special human being and I feel so lucky to have met them and to have them as a friend. Writing about this show is making me emotional all over again. Excuse me while I go and watch the video I made of some of my favourite moments…

I actually got to see Candi play live AGAIN before I left, which was awesome; they texted me and asked if I wanted to come to a set they were playing at a hotel and, of course, I said yes. I so rarely get to see Candi play – see Candi at all – that I wasn’t going to turn down the opportunity to see them again (and sit right at the front, fangirling my little heart out). They were understandably tired from a very intense release week but they still put on an incredible show, taking cover requests from the audience and performing them beautifully with a gorgeous Candi Carpenter twist. It was a long show but Candi was brilliant and I loved every second of it. I helped pack up at the end and then Candi’s partner dropped me back on their way home, which I very much appreciated; it was really nice to see him again as well. Candi and I had hoped to meet up and just chill before I flew home but with everything that had been going on, I completely understood when they said that they were feeling really burned out and just needed to rest. I was obviously sad not to see them but we made plans to catch up over a video call once I was home and Candi had recovered somewhat. I’m so glad I got to see them as much as I did, that I got to be there for the release and celebration of Demonology; that truly felt like something that was meant to be and I’ll never forget it.

Even getting to see my friends perform so much in such a short trip, I did manage to get to a few Tin Pan South shows, which I was really pleased about. I got to see Brittany Spencer, Jordyn Shellhart, Lori McKenna, Barry Dean, Jillian Jacqueline, Kara DioGuardi, Jeff Cohen, and GAYLE (we actually all but collided after the show ended and had a very passionate discussion about hair dye), to name just a few. I also got to see Ingrid Andress again, which is always really special because I’ve been following her since before she even put her first single out; I actually discovered her at Tin Pan South and have seen her almost every time she’s come to the UK since.

The last thing of note was that I got to do a photoshoot with Caitlin Gore, also known as Katie Mac Photography. I’d found her on TikTok when searching for autistic photographers to work with on my current music project. I thought it was probably unlikely that we’d work on the project artwork, even if we were able to work together while I was in Nashville, but I was really excited to try because I really love her work. We were in fact able to work together, despite a few stressful scheduling hiccups, and I love so many of the images we created…

Photos by Katie Mac Photography (x)

Prior to this, I’d only ever done photoshoots with people that I already knew so I knew I was going to be anxious and that it was probably going to feel weird, plus I’ve been really, really struggling with my appearance; my body image issues have gone from background noise to siren level piercing. I’d also never worked with an autistic photographer and I had no idea if or how that might affect the creative dynamic, if the vision we’d discussed for the shoot was something we were going to be able to capture to both of our satisfaction. I’m sure I was thinking much too hard about it but that is what I tend to do when I’m anxious about something: it’s like, if I can think through all of the variables, then nothing can surprise me and I can achieve the desired outcome… Anyway. Given all of the anxiety beforehand (around the booking and scheduling and planning, etc), I was very anxious when I arrived. The guy who owned the studio was lovely though: he gave us a tour and let me sit with his dog until Caitlin arrived. That did help a bit.

We didn’t have a whole lot of time – I was very constrained by budget – but we got quite a lot done and of the photos Caitlin sent me afterwards, I really liked most of them (and like them more and more over time). It helped that she was very clear, explaining what she was doing at all times and giving me instructions so that I knew what she needed from me. It was a real learning curve for me in terms of learning how to communicate in that scenario and so I got a lot more out of the session than just the photo. For example, while I love the photos in the first of two outfits against the white background, I wish we’d gotten to spend more time with the second outfit against the black background, especially with the red veil. Despite that being an idea we’d talked about quite a lot, we only got it out right at the end – something I would now ask for earlier if we were to do the session over again – so we didn’t have much time to experiment with it. I love the photos we got but I would’ve loved to get more, maybe with different colours and with different facial expressions and so on. So I got some great photos and learned SO MUCH. So it was definitely a success, even if I wasn’t as relaxed as I would have liked to be. I would absolutely recommend her as a photographer if you’re in Nashville and I’d love to work with her again whenever I next get back to Nashville. There was another space that we were both really excited about but I just couldn’t afford it this time with such short notice. But who knows what the future holds…

And that was the trip, if a little out of order and all over the place. I had some of the best experiences I’ve ever had there but it was also really, really hard so, as usual, it was a real mix emotionally but all of the good was so good that I wouldn’t trade it for anything. The flight home was good, as flights go. There was a bit of a crisis about getting a coach home but eventually we were on the last leg of the journey. I was feeling absolutely terrible, seconds away from a meltdown – as I usually do by that point on the way home – but we made it home without a disaster. My little Izzy was delighted to see us and I was delighted to see her; we spent the remainder of that day snuggled up together. I was completely exhausted and although it had been (for the most part) an amazing trip, I was very relieved to be home.

With the cost of releasing new music this year, I just couldn’t afford to make the trip and, with the way that Trump is terrorising the US, I wasn’t exactly keen on being a tourist there. When I was visiting last year, I said to my Mum, “What do you think it will be like next year? If Trump gets in?” It was a theoretical question then, a thought experiment, because I couldn’t imagine Trump getting in again and I certainly never could’ve imagined that everything that’s happening in the world right now would be happening. I worry for my friends everyday and I find it hard being so far away from them, being so unable to support them in any real way. With all of the horrifying things I see on social media, I’m so grateful that, so far, they’re all safe. And while I can’t help but worry when I see them at protests, I am so proud of them for staying true and authentic to who they are regardless of the outside pressure, for standing up for what they believe in, for using their privilege to support others, for the strength that keeps them pushing for a better world despite what often feels like impossible odds; I’m so proud to call them my friends.

There was a lot of tough stuff and a lot of overwhelmingly hard emotions to wade through but I was and am so grateful for this trip, for all of the wonderful moments and all of the wonderful time I spent with my wonderful friends, so if it’s my last trip there for a while, it could not have been a better one. It was so incredibly special and I’ll never forget it.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Lauren Alex Hooper (@laurenalexhooper)

I Woke Up in Nashville (Nashville 2023)

Posted on April 17, 2023

TW: Mentions of depression, suicidal thoughts, and a school shooting.

I’m still trying to pull together a post about my mental health before I went to Nashville. I was really, really struggling and even though I was still agonising over taking the Phenelzine again, it was this trip that pushed me to do it; I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it if I didn’t. But I was still struggling with what felt like surrender, like failure, when we left; I was still very depressed and having suicidal thoughts, not even two full weeks in; and I was fighting some pretty intense side effects from the meds throughout the whole trip. It was not an easy time.

GETTING TO NASHVILLE

The travel is usually somewhere between exhausting and a complete nightmare; I think many, many disabled people would say the same thing about travel, especially transatlantic travel. This year, it was hard for all of the reasons that it’s usually hard – I find airports stressful, I’m not a fan of flying, I find the whole experience uncomfortable and actually painful depending on the length of the trip, and so on – but it actually wasn’t terrible. For the first time, I was able to get a direct flight from Heathrow to Nashville and that made such a difference; I’ve always found the changeover and everything that that entails to be a particularly exhausting element of the trip. I didn’t sleep but then the eight hour flight was – the complicatedness of crossing timezones aside – during the day; I even managed to get some work done on the flight, something that I always plan but never achieve. And having the Meet and Assist service at the airports was, as always, a great help, making the whole thing easier, quicker, and less stressful. So it was definitely better than expected.

Unfortunately, I had the worst jet lag I’ve probably ever had going to Nashville. Usually I’m over it in a few days but I was struggling to sleep, waking up at all hours, constantly falling asleep on the sofa, and fighting exhaustion until about the last day. So that was frustrating and made some days more of a struggle than others but fortunately I was able to manage well enough that it didn’t ruin the trip.

THE COVENANT SCHOOL SHOOTING

We weren’t even halfway through our first full day in Nashville when the news of The Covenant School shooting broke.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what to write for this section because, honestly, I’m still processing how I feel about it; it’s been a very overwhelming thing to be even tangentially a part of because things like this just don’t happen at home. At home, you obviously hear about the mass shootings in America and you do stop and think all of the same things – “it’s a tragedy” and “no one should be able to buy automatic weapons” and “how do these awful things keep happening?” – but it’s so, so different to be there when it happens. And not just in America but a neighbourhood or so over from where it happened. (Not to mention that I know people who live around there; I didn’t know if their kids went to that school or whether they had family there.) It was very distressing and I couldn’t help feeling just overwhelmingly hopeless because more people are dead – more children are dead – and nothing will change. I didn’t know what to do with myself and all of my feelings; here were all of these lives being changed forever and I could feel my life being rocked by that. I was really shaken.

The festival hadn’t started yet but the two shows that I had tickets to that night were cancelled and I know that many others were too. I didn’t know what the right thing would’ve been and I didn’t know how I felt about any of it so I was kind of glad that the decision was taken away from me. That night, I ended up staying home and just feeling my feelings before I had to go out and face the world all day everyday for the next week and a half.

The festival itself went ahead, although it seemed that there had been some serious thought about whether or not to cancel at the very least the shows at the beginning of the week. I think that, ultimately, the consensus they came to was that music is a great healer and a great uniter of people and that, of the two options, going ahead was the right choice. Initially, the mood was heavy and somber and everyone performing had clearly thought very seriously about what they were going to play, what energy a song would be putting into the room and how it would impact everyone listening. The shows didn’t suffer for it though, the performances sincere and heartfelt. The mood did lighten somewhat as the week went on but the shooting was clearly still present in everyone’s minds, reflected in their song choices and in the heart they put into their performances. There were some cancellations which was a shame but obviously completely understandable; there was no ill will from anyone.

It was scary, being reminded that anyone could be carrying a gun, and so deeply sad that I’ve only just started to really process it, only just been able to pull the time together to do so. Having said that, it was really quite heartening to hear so many people – in Tennessee, a deeply red state – rage against gun ownership and criticise the country’s approach to gun control, including some who I would’ve assumed felt differently. I know that tragedies like these, especially in communities like Nashville, impassion people but I’m not sure if that would be possible if people were firmly at the other end of the scale.

I’m sure there’s more I could say but, as I said, I’m still working through it all. It’s a lot to process.

TIN PAN SOUTH

Over the years, my motivations behind choosing Tin Pan South rounds have changed. Sometimes I want to see my heroes and want to be inspired; sometimes I want to find new, exciting writers; sometimes I want to see friends who are playing; sometimes there’s a networking aspect; sometimes I want to see writers who’ve been recommended; sometimes it’s a mix. After everything this last year and the stress associated with the trip (and the Phenelzine), I’ve really struggled with music: my love of it, my trust in it. So, this year, I just wanted to go and see people that I knew would put on amazing shows; I wanted to be reminded of how much I love music and how much it means to me. So those were the shows I chose, the ones with people who I knew would blow me away to aid that. And they did.

It was a really, really great year; there were so many amazing people with so many awesome songs, all with interesting and inspiring stories. Listing everyone would take forever so here are a select few that really blew me away, that really made the festival for me…

Lori McKenna – I think anyone who’s seen Lori McKenna once will understand wanting to see her again and I’m very lucky to have seen her a handful of times now. She’s such a skilled songwriter with a really unique voice and some amazing stories. She has a great stage presence and such good chemistry with the songwriters she shares a stage with. And hearing ‘Humble And Kind’ is all but a religious experience, something I’ve said multiple times now.
Madeline Edwards – Madeline was an unexpected but joyful find. The show had just listed the people playing, including Laura Veltz who I’d wanted to see, but it actually turned out to be the group playing through most of Madeline’s new album, Crashlanded, since they’d all worked on it. I had no idea what to expect but I absolutely fell in love with it (especially ‘The Biggest Wheel,’ ‘The Wolves,’ ‘How Strong I Am,’ ‘Heavy,’ and ‘Too Much Of A Good Thing’). She has a gorgeous voice, the lyrics are so smart and slick, the melodies adventurous but still natural and satisfying. I can’t wait to see her again when she tours here in July.
Michael Logen – While this whole round was incredible, it was Michael Logen’s songs that stuck with me the most. His melodies in particular were gorgeous and there were lyrics that just took my breath away. I wrote about this song in my Nashville Playlist (2023) post but my favourite song of his was called ‘Let It Be Love,’ a song that was basically about how everything we do should come from a place of love, something that was really moving given how the week had begun. The repeated chorus line of “Let it be love, love, love” got everyone in the room singing, singing together, it was a really special moment; it all but made me cry. I really, really hope he releases it.
Seth Ennis – I’ve seen Seth a number of times over the last eight years and he’s a great songwriter, a great singer, and a great performer. While I’ve always enjoyed his songs, the reason he stood out so much this year was the song he wrote about infertility, something several people in his life have dealt with, making it very close to his heart. It was a stunning – if utterly heartbreaking – song (I wrote more about it here) and I just fell in love with it on first listen. It was a deeply touching song regardless of the situation but it also felt like a really beautiful moment; it felt like a real honour that he would share it with us (and even more so since it was the first time he’d played it live). I really hope that someone cuts it because not only is it an amazing song but I think it could comfort a lot of people going through that struggle.
Cassidy Daniels – I only got to see Cassidy play one song since she was invited up to play during a round but holy shit, she was incredible. She has the most amazing voice that seems to rise and fall and tumble effortlessly in almost gymnastic fashion and the song she played was so cool, moody and atmospheric and intoxicating (I wrote about her and the song she played a bit more in my Nashville Playlist (2023) post too). I can’t wait to hear more from her.
Skip Black – I was introduced to Skip through Kalie Shorr’s album, Open Book, which is one of my favourite albums of all time, cowriting five tracks of the seventeen track unabridged version and producing or coproducing the whole album, so when I saw his name on the line up, I knew I wanted to see him in his own right. He has some amazing songs but I think my favourite of what he played was ‘The Longer I Live,’ recently released by Aaron Goodvin and Ryan Kinder. It’s a gorgeous song with such uplifting energy.

Honourable mentions to Kassi Ashton, Barry Dean, Nicolle Galyon, Bethany Joy Lenz (she is just a born performer), Jeff Cohen, Ben Earle, Jenn Bostic (what an incredible voice she has), Phil Barton, and Jeffrey Steele. I mentioned many of these in my Nashville Playlist (2023) post.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Lauren Alex Hooper (@laurenalexhooper)

It was a really amazing year with so many amazing people. I don’t think I can choose a favourite round but my two favourite were the Madeline Edwards round and the round with Michael Logen, Bethany Joy Lenz, Jeff Cohen, Jenn Bostic, and Ben Earle. Those two rounds were just off the freaking charts. All of the rounds were good (even the ‘less good’ ones were still really good – it’s just that the bar for ‘good’ was so incredibly high) but those two were some of the best I’ve ever been to.

TORNADO WARNING

On the Friday night, there was a tornado warning; some of the venues cancelled their shows and the tutors warned us to be home early. None of the locals I spoke to were worried (and neither was I to be honest, having been in town for multiple warnings over the years, all of which came to nothing) but I understand why the tutors were being cautious; even though we’re adults, they do feel some degree of responsibility over us and more so, I think, in potentially dangerous situations that we have no experience of at home, like tornado warnings. So we were encouraged to go home and stay there but those of us who were feeling brave (or just not worried) ended up hanging out together at one of the group’s Airbnbs, having a chill little party. Calling it a party is probably a bit generous given that we just sat in the courtyard in the pre-storm heat, talking shit and having a good time, but it was so nice: at the beginning of the week I’d known one person and there I was, hanging out with a group I was only just getting to know, having a really nice time and just feeling so normal. That was kind of amazing because I never feel normal; I cannot remember the last time I felt normal. So not only was it good fun but that made it yet another special experience in a very special week. Phenelzine was definitely a big part of making that happen but there’s something special about Nashville that has always made things possible for me that I’d never imagined would be.

Even though I wasn’t seriously worried about a tornado, I did keep an eye on the weather and ended up leaving a bit earlier than I otherwise might’ve because things did start to get a bit wild – wind and rain and the air was only getting heavier. I’d been invited to stay but my Airbnb was only a few minutes away so I said my goodbyes and zipped home. Before going inside though, I stood out in the wild weather. It wasn’t any worse than the storms we occasionally get at home and I love storms: there’s something about them that makes me feel so alive, like everything is heightened, like every atom in my body is in tune with the storm. It kind of makes me feel like I have superpowers, like I could control the weather myself; I love it.

So it was actually a really good end to the day and apart from some pretty strong winds and heavy rain, we were all no worse for wear in the morning.

SONG SUFFRAGETTES 9TH ANNIVERSARY SHOW

Song Suffragettes is one of my favourite parts about going to Nashville and getting to go to an anniversary show only makes it more special. They play two shorter rounds instead of the usual longer one, plus they honour an incredible female songwriter with the Song Suffragettes Yellow Rose of Inspiration Award; she gets interviewed by another very cool female songwriter. This year Natalie Hemby (yay!) was being honoured, interviewed by Maggie Rose, so it was a very special show to be at.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Song Suffragettes (@songsuffragettes)

The first round was Morgan Johnston, Valerie Ponzio, Carter Faith, Robyn Ottolini, and Shelly Fairchild with Grace Bowers on guitar (she was an incredible, incredible guitarist and that’t not even taking into account how young she is), plus Mia Morris on percussion plus a song of her own. They were all great and I’d seen both Carter and Robyn before when they came to London on the Song Suffragettes tour last year. So it was cool to have some familiar faces and some brand new ones. I wrote about several of the songs played in my Nashville Playlist (2023) post but I want to include my favourites here too. I love Carter’s ‘Leaving Tennesse.’ It’s so gentle and comforting to listen to, simple and sweet but so heartfelt. I wrote in my earlier post that I think the reason it resonates with me so strongly is that, while I’ll likely never be able to live in Nashville – for multiple reasons that aren’t worth getting into here – it does feel like a part of me stays in Nashville every time I go home, a part that I reunite with every time I return. So, in a way, I don’t ever leave Nashville, don’t ever leave Tennessee. I also loved Robyn’s ‘Heart Less’ and I loved the twist in the chorus lyric; it was beautiful and I hope she releases it.

The second round was made up of Jessica Willis Fisher, Carmen Dianne, Haley Mae Campbell, Gina Venier, and Victoria Banks, with Mia on percussion and with her own song on the round. I’ve heard her song, ‘No One Cares,’ but it honestly never gets less funny; it’s so snarky and sarcastic and fun and her ability to play with rhythm, both in her melodies and her instrumentation, is amazing. My two favourites songs of the night are a tie between ‘Giving Up’ by Carmen Dianne and ‘Nora Jane’ by Gina Venier. Carmen was playing bass, which was really cool (the musicianship of this show was the most impressive I’ve ever seen from Song Suffragettes – it was amazing), and her vocals were fantastic. Her song, ‘Giving Up,’ had some really strong parallels to a painful experience I’ve been in but it was really empowering, with compelling lyrics and a bold, rebellious melody; I’m obsessed with it. My other favourite was ‘Nora Jane’ by Gina Venier, a song about the fear of coming out to her family that ends with her family accepting her and her girlfriend fully. It’s a beautifully written song and a story that is still incredibly uncommon in country music; I can see why so many people feel validated by hearing her story and why they feel like she’s telling their story too. I can only imagine how much bravery it took to write and perform this song – with America, the South, Tennessee, ‘Christian Values,’ and so on being the way they are – and so it felt like a real honour to be trusted with her story, with her opening up and being vulnerable.

Then Maggie and Natalie and came out to rapturous applause. Maggie asked a lot of really interesting questions, which Natalie answered, her usual dry, irreverent self; as always, she was full of funny stories, like writing for A Star is Born and a room full of highly successful, highly thought of songwriters all passing on what became ‘Shallow.’ I’ve always loved Natalie for her openness and her sincerity, even though she’s full of jokes and sly humour, and I love that while she is confident in her abilities, there’s no ego: she’ll talk to you and engage with you, especially about songwriting regardless of how ‘good’ you are – you don’t need to be the next whoever to be worthy of her attention. She’s just a lovely, genuine human being – how could you not love her?

After the interview, she played three songs. The first was a new song that was really beautiful. The second was ‘Rainbow,’ which Kacey Musgraves released (the two of them wrote it several years back with Shane McAnally). She’d just played it at the funeral of one of the girls killed in The Covenant School shooting; it was apparently her favourite song. I think, as a song, it’s always meant a lot to her and that has only grown over the years as people have attached their own stories to it. And the third and final song she played was ‘Crowded Table,’ which she wrote with Lori McKenna and Brandi Carlile for her group project with Brandi Carlile, Maren Morris, and Amanda Shires. She started to play it but then changed her mind, unplugged her guitar, and started the song again, climbing down from the stage and walking through the audience as she played. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone do that and apparently no one has ever done it at The Listening Room. It was a very sweet, special moment, perfect for the last performance of the trip.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Lauren Alex Hooper (@laurenalexhooper)

When the show was over, I got to catch up a little with the people I know from Song Suffragettes and I finally got to see Natalie, the two of us not having being able to catch up while I’d been there. We were both just so happy to see each other and it was a really lovely moment. It would’ve been nice to have a bit longer to catch up properly but I’m not complaining; it’s such a long way and a long time between visits that I’m always delighted to see her at all.

OTHER THINGS

Hanging out with my Nashville people – After six visits, I have a few really lovely friends, both in the industry and not, and although I didn’t get to see all of them this time, I did get to see most of them and it was so, so lovely. I obviously don’t get to see them very often so catching up and spending time together always feels really special and precious. I met one of these friends on my very first night in Nashville, back in 2016, and we’ve stayed friends through some real highs and lows despite the distance; I feel really lucky to have had and to still have that.
Hanging out with the group from my university who’d also travelled for the festival – An unexpected joy this year was hanging out with the group from my uni that were there at the same time. The first time I went, I went with people from my classes so I knew most of the group and it was really fun but ever since, I’ve been going independent of my university; I’ll see the university group around but I don’t usually end up spending time with them for whatever reason. But this time, I spent quite a lot of time – at and between shows – with various people from the uni trip. I only knew one person before we arrived but they were all really easy to talk to, all really fun and really lovely. As I said, we even had a chilled little party one night. So that was a really nice bonus and I made plans with several people to write together when our schedules allow. I also got to hang out with the tutors on the trip, something that also hasn’t happened much on previous trips; everyone’s just so busy. They’re really lovely people and I haven’t seen enough of them since I graduated so going to shows together and catching up in the queues and so on was time that feels very precious.
Pancake Pantry – Since food is such an issue for me, finding a restaurant that I’m actually excited to go to is a big deal. I love Pancake Pantry and we always try to go at least a couple of times while we’re there. I’m still not eating very much and I greatly enjoyed getting to eat there again. The Chocolate Sin pancakes are amazing.
The Candle Bar – Every year, my Mum and I try and go back to The Candle Bar (there is now one in Bristol but that’s a bit far for us unless we’re already in the area, like Nashville really: we couldn’t and wouldn’t go to Nashville for it but once we’re there, I’m so excited to do it. The candle I always make is the only candle scent that I love – and actually the only one that I enjoy burning – so restocking for the year is always a relief (they got it out especially for us since we’d come so far, which I appreciate much more than I can say) and, not only is the actual candle-making and learning the science of candles really fun, the people who work there are always so enthusiastic and knowledgeable, which makes it such a joyful experience. It’s always really fun, although I couldn’t quite enjoy it as much as I usually do because of the tornado warning: my uni group were freaking out to various degrees and trying to figure out what to do so I couldn’t quite concentrate as much as usual.

GETTING HOME

Despite all of my negative emotions leading up to the trip, I found leaving to be very, very hard, even if I was looking forward to seeing my cats and sleeping in my own bed again. There had been so many magical moments and, for the first time in so, so long, moments of actual joy; I didn’t want to go home, go back to the real world, and lose those. So, yeah, it was just hard.

The Meet and Assist service made the airport experience much easier, as I said earlier and the flight was fine, if quite a bit bumpier than on the way out. We flew direct through the night and luckily, the flight wasn’t full and I managed to lie down with a full row to myself. It still wasn’t hugely comfortable and the sleep I got was more like a series of light naps but it was definitely better than I would’ve gotten had I been sitting up in a single chair. Having said that, being in that one position with my legs bent for so long meant that I almost couldn’t get up when we landed; I’ve never needed the airport wheelchair so much. We had some problems getting a coach back but then finally – finally – we were home. I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited to walk through my own front door (yes, I’m aware of how conflicted my feelings were and are).

I had hoped to go out in the evening – I thought it might actually help stave off the jet lag – but I was asleep within about ten minutes of sitting down on the sofa, where I slept on and off for the rest of the afternoon and evening, despite Mum’s attempts to wake me up. The thought that I’d ever have made it out to London (and back) was laughable by the time I dragged myself up for some food. I just couldn’t keep my eyes open; I was just so unbelievably tired. The nap completely screwed up my sleep schedule (which still hasn’t completely recovered) but the next morning, we retrieved the cats from the cattery, which was wonderful for me even if they were more interested in re-establishing their claim on the garden. I’d missed them desperately so I was delighted to have them around again (and I think they were actually quite pleased to have us back too since they’ve all spent most of the days since in whatever rooms we’re in).

CONCLUDING THOUGHTS

Even though I’ve been back for a couple of weeks, I still feel more than a bit floored by the whole trip. There were obviously the awful parts, like the school shooting, and the big uncertainties, like the tornado warning; I was struggling with my mental health and with the side effects of the Phenelzine and with all of the anxieties that always come with this trip, like plans changing at the last minute and adjusting to the way Nashville does everything compared to how we do them at home; there was the absolute exhaustion of doing so much after having been so flattened by my depression. The bad was bad – and scary and upsetting and overwhelming – but the good was so incredibly good. I got to see and spend time with people that I love; I got to meet and make friends with new, fun people; I got to hear some amazing music; I got to do some cool things that I don’t get to do at home; I got to feel normal; I got to feel joy for the first time in longer than I can remember. The spectrum of emotion was overwhelming and I’m still processing most of it and what it all means to me but I do know that I’m grateful that I got to be there; I will hold onto the memories forever.

This post turned out to be much longer than I intended it to be; I guess I didn’t realise how many thoughts and feelings I had about the different parts of the trip (and there are even more in my diaries!) until I started trying to sum it all up. But this was a really special experience. I couldn’t not write about it, not after everything it gave me.

Category: anxiety, autism, chronic pain, depression, emotions, event, favourites, food, heds, medication, mental health, music, sleep, special interests, suicide, university, video, writing Tagged: accessibility, airport, america, anxiety, asd, autism, autism spectrum disorder, cassidy daniels, depression, disabled accommodation, flying, friends, jet lag, lori mckenna, madeline edwards, medication, michael logen, nashville, nashville songwriters association international, nashville tennessee, natalie hemby, nsai, pancake pantry, phenelzine, school shooting, seth ennis, side effects, singersongwriter, skip black, song suffragettes, song suffragettes yellow rose of inspiration award, songwriter, songwriters festival, songwriting, tennessee, the candle bar, the covenant school shooting, tin pan south, tin pan south 2023, tin pan south songwriters festival, tornado warning, travel, trigger, trigger warning, tw, university, usa

3 Comments

Nashville Playlist (2023)

Posted on April 8, 2023

NOTE: I know I haven’t posted in ages but there are several posts coming, including some that cover that missing period of time.

As always, when I’m in Nashville, I listen to a lot of music, so much that I was hitting overwhelm every evening. There were just so many songs at every show, so many gorgeous lyrics and beautiful melodies; I found it hard to take it all in. There were so many that I could’ve included on this list but I tried to stick to the ones that stuck out to me the most, the ones that I really, really felt during the trip; these are my favourites, the ones that felt the most meaningful.

SUBJECT TO CHANGE by Kelsea Ballerini (Written by Kelsea Ballerini, Karen Fairchild, and Alyssa Vanderheym)

Pretty much ever since I saw Kelsea live in February, this song has been playing in the background of my brain. It’s so catchy and so uplifting, from the lyrics to the melody to the production. The second verse and pre-chorus have always been particularly moving for me: the verse feels very true to my experience of life and the pre-chorus – especially the lines “Oh, I don’t think about the chapters / It’s all about turning the page” – really speaks to me, maybe because that’s something I struggle with. The song fills me with such joy that I find myself skipping and dancing when I listen to it, even if I’m in the middle of the street. I first saw Kelsea on my first trip to Nashville and can’t help associating her with it so I wasn’t surprised to have it in my head for the whole flight.

Favourite Lyrics: “If I’m honest / Growing up, it kind of hurts like hell / It’s chaotic, ironic / But it’s how I learn to find myself, yeah // Thank God, I don’t know about tomorrow / Thank God, I take it day by day / Oh, I don’t think about the chapters / It’s all about turning the page”

Radio Silence by Natalie Hemby (Written by Rosi Golan and Natalie Hemby)

This is quite possibly my favourite song to come out of Nashville. I love Natalie Hemby – as a songwriter, as a singer, and as a person, as you probably know if you follow my blog – and this is, I think, my favourite song of hers. The lyrics, the melody, the production… Her voice… I absolutely love all of it. It sounds like the feeling it’s describing: that shock, that sadness and loneliness, that devastation. I’ve definitely experienced what’s described in the song and from the first listen, it’s always resonated so strongly. As I got settled back in to the Nashville routine, I listened to it a lot and even ended up recording and posting a little cover of a snippet of it.

Favourite Lyrics: “I wasn’t ready for / The way you shut the door / And lеft me standin’ in the frame” AND “I tried to reach you through the growin’ static / I tried to replicate the fading magic / Did everything to keep the signal from dyin’ / All I got was radio silence // I tried to tell you that it’s gonna get better / I tried to put the pieces back together / Did everything to keep the signal from dyin’ / All I got was radio silence”

Diamond Rings and Old Barstools by Tim McGraw (Written by Barry Dean, Luke Laird, and Jonathan Singleton) (Performed by Barry Dean)

This song is one of the first I heard in Nashville and I think, because of that, it feels very nostalgic. That first trip was so magical. I heard this at my first Tin Pan South show ever and between the detail of the lyric and the rise and fall of the melody, it just feels like a classic country song. I don’t know if I can explain it better than that.

Favourite Lyrics: “Diamond rings and old barstools / One’s for queens and one’s for fools / One’s the future and one’s the past / One’s forever and one won’t last”

Humble And Kind by Lori McKenna (Written and Performed by Lori McKenna)

This is a song that will never get old. It will never get less moving. It has this beautifully encouraging and uplifting way of talking about moving through life without sounding like it’s preaching. In my Nashville Playlist (2019) post, I talked about this song and how hearing it live feels like a spiritual experience and that assessment remains true. There’s something about the lyrics, the melody, her voice, and a room full of people murmuring along (not wanting to overwhelm her voice but so moved by the moment) that is just magical.

Favourite Lyrics: “Hold the door, say ‘please,’ say ‘thank you’ / Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie / I know you got mountains to climb / But always stay humble and kind / When those dreams you’re dreamin’ come to you / When the work you put in is realized / Let yourself feel the pride / But always stay humble and kind” AND “Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you / When you get where you’re going don’t forget turn back around / And help the next one in line / Always stay humble and kind”

Too Much Of A Good Thing by Madeline Edwards (Written by Madeline Edwards, Ian Christian, and Trannie Anderson) (Performed by Madeline Edwards, Laura Veltz, Kate York, and a couple of members of Madeline’s band)

During one Tin Pan South show, I was both introduced to Madeline Edwards and then got to hear her album almost in full. I completely fell in love with it and it’s been so hard to choose just one song for this list: her voice, the lyrics and melodies, the production… it’s all gorgeous. I think I have to choose the closer, which is called ‘Too Much Of A Good Thing.’ It’s the perfect closer to the album, simple and sweet with a lot less production than many of the earlier tracks (although, as I said, I do love those too – this is just so perfect for the song and perfect to close the album). It allows you to focus in on her voice and the lyrics, which are uplifting and encouraging and poignant. The song contemplates the idea that maybe good things can last, that the idea that we’ve all been taught – that ‘you can have too much of good thing’ – isn’t true. She talked about how much that had impacted her life and how trying to have faith in the idea that good things can happen, can be enjoyed, can last has helped her and allowed her to really feel and be present in the good. This is something that I really struggle with so the song really resonated with me and the more I listen to it, the more emotional I get.

Favourite Lyrics: “Well, life don’t always work like that / And hearts don’t have to break / And God don’t give to take it back / And dreams don’t have to fade / You can fly too close to the sun / And never melt your wings / And you can’t have too much of a good thing” AND “What if the love you want is the love you find?” AND “What if fear turns into scared of nothing? / You don’t have to let go of what you always wanted”

Let It Be Love by The Six One Five Collective (Written and Performed by Michael Logen)

I could list so many songs from this round because everyone was amazing: Michael Logen was fantastic, Bethany Joy Lenz is a born performer and has a stunning voice, Jeff Cohen is a wonderful songwriter, Jenn Bostic’s vocals were mind-blowing, and special guest Ben Earle (of The Shires) was great too. As I said, everyone was incredible and it was definitely one of the best rounds of the festival (although most of the rounds I went to were really, really good). But the ones that have been most stuck in my head are Michael Logen’s so I had to choose one of his for this list and this one just resonated so, so deeply, especially after the sadness of the week. With everyone singing the repeated line of the chorus – “Let it be love, love, love” – I could’ve cried because it just felt so powerful, everyone in the room connected by love, by music, by this fierce hope that things can and will get better, that we can make them better. It was just really moving, almost like a spiritual experience, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

Favourite Lyrics: “If there’s only one thing that I’m known for / Just one legacy I leave behind / Just one word written over my hearthstone / Just one lesson I’ve learned in this life // Let it be love, love, love” AND “If it’s only one kingdom we’re building / Just one future we’re falling into / … // Let it be love, love, love” AND “Let it be love that holds us / Love that moulds us / Let it be love by which we are known / Let it be love that sees us / Love that frees us / Let it be love that leads us back home”

One Pink Line by Seth Ennis (Written by Seth Ennis, Cameron Bedell, and Lauren McLamb) (Performed by Seth Ennis)

Before playing this song, Seth Ennis talked about infertility, an issue that’s really close to his heart. He talked about how his parents had struggled with it and how one of his best friends was too and how that had inspired this song, how he’d written it for them. He’d never played it before but it was just beautiful. I’m not generally a fan of songs that are religious or are written as if speaking to God but I think it’s fair to say that many religious people who struggle with issues like infertility do question God when going through things like this. And you obviously don’t have to be religious to struggle with the ‘why’ of struggles like these. So it fits the circumstances here and is very poignant in this context. The imagery was vivid and heartbreaking; it felt very simple but certainly not boring, just letting the lyrics shine. And while it would make a nice story, I’m kind of glad that it didn’t have a happy ending because the difficult parts of life often don’t just magically resolve themselves; we have to muddle our way through and out of them in whatever way works best for us (which, of course, is different for each of us). We don’t always get a ‘why.’ I hope someone releases it because I think it could help a lot of people going through that kind of hard time.

Favourite Lyrics: “I can’t take one more ‘What are y’all waiting for?’ / One more night of her crying on the bathroom floor / So here I am // I know I’m not supposed to ask you why / And I know you’ve got a plan and it’s all in your time / If you only ever answer one more prayer I send up to the sky, just one time / Could you let her see more than one pink like?” AND “She was smiling when her little sister’s boy turned two years old / But I’m the only one who knows she cried that whole way home / And it breaks me when her heart breaks but nothing kills me / Like knowing how good a mama that woman would be” AND “And I’ll paint the room and I’ll build the crib / But you put a little heartbeat in it / That part’s out of my hands / And help me out here, man”

Crazy Love by Cassidy Daniels (Written by Cassidy Daniels and Unknown) (Performed by Cassidy Daniels)

Cassidy Daniels was the special guest at this round and came on stage to sing this song. She was funny and engaging and then she started to sing and oh my god, she blew the roof off The Listening Room. She has an absolutely amazing voice, truly, truly incredible. The song was deeply atmospheric and lyrics paint a dark but emotive picture. The melody climbs and falls; it has this almost lazy, organic movement that really fits her voice – it’s easy to imagine someone dancing to it or performing a gymnastics routine with it in the background – and matches the moody energy.

Favourite Lyrics: “I’ll show you crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy love / The kind I know that you’ve be dreaming of / Yeah, baby, if you’re all in / And you give it all you got then / I’ll show you crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy love”

The Longer I Live (feat. Ryan Kinder) by Aaron Goodvin (Written by Skip Black, Ryan Kinder, and Erin Goodman) (Performed by Skip Black)

I knew I wanted to see Skip Black since he’s done so much work with Kalie Shorr, who I absolutely love (and I love the songs that they’ve written together), and the whole round was good but Skip was my favourite and this was my favourite song that he played. Like ‘Humble And Kind’ and ‘Let It Be Love,’ it’s a song that looks at life and passes on the most important lessons learned without preaching or patronising. It feels honest and sincere and generous. It’s like all of the best country songs: they’re the ones we pass down and pass on because they connect us to each other. That’s where I’ve always felt the deepest spirituality and it’s songs like this where I feel that most profoundly.

Favourite Lyrics: “The longer I live, the more I’m alive” AND “The longer I live, the more I learn / How to just be patient waiting my turn / We all got dreams to chase, it ain’t a race / Ain’t about coming in first / The longer I live, the more I learn” AND “The longer I live, the less I need / All the people telling me who to be / I finally understand / That who I am works just fine for me / The longer I live, the less I need” AND “The longer I live, the more I love”

What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts (Written by Jeffrey Steele and Steve Robson) (Performed by Jeffrey Steele)

I talked about this song in last year’s Nashville Playlist post: “Somewhat hilariously, the first version of this song that I heard – in my Dad’s car – was the more dance/club version. I have no idea why my Dad had it on a CD but hearing it still brings back fond memories. Hearing the country version for the first time was a bit of a surprise but given the memories of my Dad, I have a soft spot for it and hearing Jeffrey Steele perform it was incredible. He’s an amazing singer and an amazing guitarist; it was a bit like the musical equivalent of a religious experience.” All of this was very true for hearing it this time but he also told the story behind it, the writing process and the success it had, and both of those were deeply connected with his own father, which only made me love it more.

Favourite Lyrics: “It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go / But I’m doing it / It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends / And I’m alone // Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret / But I know if I could do it over / I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart / That I left unspoken // What hurts the most / Is being so close / And having so much to say (much to say) / And watching you walk away / And never knowing / What could’ve been / And not seeing that love in you / Is what I was trying to do”

Leaving Tennessee by Carter Faith (Written by Carter Faith, Jen Stegall, and Margaret Valentine) (Performed by Carter Faith)

I’ve seen Carter perform a couple of times now and I love this song so much. She’s got such a sweet voice, the melody is so natural and comforting, and the lyrics feel simple but resonate deeply. I think it’s stuck with me so strongly because, while I’ll probably never be able to live in Nashville – for a variety of reasons – I do feel like a part of me never leaves, that I reconnect with it every time I return to the city. So, in some ways, it’s a really sad song for me but also a really comforting one.

Favourite Lyrics: “I would always pack my bags and go before they could find me out / I would always hit the road before they could pin me down / And when I tell you I’m a rolling stone and that I’m never gonna feel at home / Don’t listen to me, you know better, baby / I ain’t ever leaving Tennessee”

No One Cares by Mia Morris (Written and Performed by Mia Morris)

I’ve been seeing Mia perform with Song Suffragettes for years now, in person and over the livestream, and it’s amazing to see how much she’s developed not only as a musician (I swear she can play, like, seven instruments at once – she even used a bowl from the audience member in front of her during this show) but also as a songwriter over this time; she has such a distinctive style as a writer and performer that it’s hard not to get sucked into her songs (I mean, who else could write such a hilarious and smart song about Stacy from ‘Stacy’s Mom’ by Fountains of Wayne and have them sign off on it?!). But during the show I went to, she played this one, which is just so funny. We’ve all had at least one moment in life where, in conversation with someone, we’ve wanted to roll our eyes and say, ‘NO ONE CARES,’ and this song is perfect for that internal monologue.

Favourite Lyrics: “Oh wait / Might be too late / There’s no one really left for you to irritate // Just now, I’ve reached my limit / Right now, you’re so full of it / Is there any way you could take a minute and just be quiet? / Let’s play listening, don’t say anything / For all the time you waste, all the stories you share / Here’s a little story for you, honey / No one cares”

Giving Up by Carmen Dianne (Written by Carmen Dianne and Unknown) (Performed by Carmen Dianne)

I’ve never seen someone play bass at Song Suffragettes (the musicianship of this show was incredible) so I was hooked as soon as Carmen started playing and I loved both of her songs. I found this one particularly emotive, which was only enhanced by her incredible vocals; it really resonated with an experience I’ve been in. But it was also empowering and rebellious and sassy, which I loved. The lyrics are really powerful and the melody sort of tumbles over itself in a really satisfying way. I’ve been listening to it over and over again.

Favourite Lyrics: “I gave up my platform(?) for you to stand taller / I gave up my freedom so you’re not alone / I gave up all these pieces of me just for some peace and quiet in our home / Gave up my breath for you to go waste it / I gave up my family to start one with you / I’ve done my share of giving and now I’m giving up on you” (I’m transcribing from the video after the fact so I’m not sure that these are entirely correct)

Nora Jane by Gina Venier (Written with Gina Venier, Savannah Santos, and Summer Overstreet) (Performed by Gina Venier)

I have never heard a song about a woman loving a woman in Nashville. Never. So not only did this song surprise me in the most gorgeous way, it’s also a beautifully written love song that touches on the fears of coming out and the relief of the story having a happy ending. The lyrics are simple but really touching and I can see why so many people feel so validated by her sharing her story, feel like she’s telling their story too. It’s not a story we hear often in country music and so I think it’s amazing that she’s telling it. Even though it’s not something that has ever required bravery in my own house, I can imagine how much courage it took to do that and then share it with the whole world; it felt like an honour to be trusted with that.

Favourite Lyrics: “What’s my dad gonna do when I bring you home? / What’s my mom gonna say when I tell her you’re the one I love? / Tell her you’re the one I want / Is my brother gonna hate me? / I’m afraid everyone I love won’t love me the same / When I tell ’em your name, Nora Jane” AND “My dad wasn’t too tough when I brought you home / My mom gave me a hug when I told her you’re the one I love / Told her you’re the one I want / My brother found a way to be okay / And I found everyone I love still loves me the same / When I tell ’em your name, Nora Jane”

Rainbow by Kacey Musgraves (Written by Kacey Musgraves, Natalie Hemby, and Shane McAnally) (Performed by Natalie Hemby)

Natalie Hemby was the special guest for the Song Suffragettes 9th Anniversary show so I’m throwing out my self-imposed rule book; she gets two songs from this show. She is my favourite person in Nashville after all. I love ‘Rainbow’ and it’s easily my favourite Kacey Musgraves song – and has been ever since I heard her play it live at Country2Country, I think it was, before even Pageant Material came out. And to know that they were all in need of that song when they wrote it made me love it even more. I love hearing songwriters sing songs that they worked on that were then released by someone else, even if it was someone else in the writing room, and I love hearing Natalie sing this song; there’s something about her voice that just makes me love it even more.

Favourite Lyrics: “When it rains it pours / But you didn’t even notice / It ain’t rainin’ anymore / It’s hard to breathe when all you know is / The struggle of / Staying above / The rising water line” AND “If you could see what I see / You’d be blinded by the colours / Yellow, red and orange, and green / And at least a million others” AND “Oh, tie up the boat / Take off your coat / And take a look around / Everything is alright now” AND “‘Cause the sky has finally opened / The rain and wind stopped blowin’ / But you’re stuck out in the same old storm again / Let go of your umbrella / ‘Cause, darling, I’m just tryin’ to tell ya / That there’s always been a rainbow hangin’ over your head / Yeah, there’s always been a rainbow hangin’ over your head / It’ll all be alright” (So basically the whole song)

Crowded Table by The Highwomen (Written by Natalie Hemby, Lori McKenna, and Brandi Carlile) (Performed by Natalie Hemby)

One of my favourite moments of this trip was actually this song, Natalie’s last song for Song Suffragettes and the last performance I witnessed in Nashville. I love ‘Crowded Table,’ as I said in last year’s post: “This song kind of reminds me of growing up: my house was always busy and there was always a lot of people around. We were a big, tight knit family (we’re still close but we’re all a bit more spread out now so getting together is harder) and we often congregated around the table at meal times. So, when I listen to it, it reminds me of that.” But this time, she started playing it on stage and then changed her mind, getting up and restarting the song unplugged as she climbed off stage, walking around the room and singing it as she wound between the tables. It was a really special moment. I wish more people had been singing but it was still really magical and I was giddy with joy from the whole experience.

Favourite Lyrics: “I can be your streetlight / Showing you the way home / You can hold my hand / When you need to let go” AND “I want a house with a crowded table / And a place by the fire for everyone / Let us take on the world while we’re young and able / And bring us back together when the day is done” AND “If we want a garden / We’re gonna have to sow the seed / Plant a little happiness / Let the roots run deep / If it’s love that we give / Then it’s love that we reap / If we want a garden / We’re gonna have to sow the seed” AND “Everyone’s a little broken / And everyone belongs / Yeah, everyone belongs”

So there is my Nashville 2023 playlist. As always, I could’ve included so many more songs – I heard so many over the trip that I feel like my brain is melting whenever I try and think back to the songs of each night – but I tried not to let the post get too long. We could’ve been here for much longer, believe me!

Anyway, I hope this was interesting, that you were reminded of an old favourite or introduced to a new song that you like. My full Nashville trip post will be up soon.

1 Comment

1 2 3 … 6 »

Finding Hope

Nashville Trip 2024

I Woke Up in Nashville (Nashville 2023)

Nashville Playlist (2023)

About Me

Links

Categories

Recent Posts

Archives

About Me