2022 in Songs

This has been a hard post to write, a hard post to maintain through the year. For more than twelve months now, I feel like I’ve been all but drowning in my depression. And when I’m really depressed, I find it really hard to listen to music, to find joy in anything (which, as we know, is a common phenomenon with depression). It got to the point where, as you’ll see, I stopped listening to music all together. Even now, I’m still struggling but I have always loved doing this post each year so I tried to push through, push through my difficulty writing in a way I’m happy with, and finished it. I hope I did an okay job.

Here is a Spotify playlist with almost all of the songs (some are yet to be released) so you can listen along if you would like to.


1. Unsteady (Erich Lee Gravity Remix) by X Ambassadors

I was so depressed in January that I wasn’t really listening to music at all. But, on the couple of occasions that I did listen to music, I was usually looking for songs that matched how utterly miserable I was feeling, something that was really, really hard to find. But something about this song resonated though and listening to it, I cried and cried and cried. It wasn’t bad crying though. I mean, yes, I was crying because everything was awful but I needed to cry so I was grateful to have a song that helped.

Favourite Lyrics: “Mama, come here / Approach, appear / And Daddy, I’m alone / ‘Cause this house don’t feel like home // If you don’t love me, don’t let go / If you love me, don’t let go // Hold, hold on, hold on to me / ‘Cause I’m a little unsteady / A little unsteady”


2. Another Way by Kina Grannis

This song isn’t new (the album it’s a part of, It’s Hard To Be Human, came out in October of last year) but it’s felt very relevant and very poignant recently. I’ve spent so much time recently (and generally) worrying – and I mean, panic attack level worrying – about whether I’ve made the right choices, whether I could be contributing more if I was doing something different, whether I’m following the right path, doing the right things… Hearing this song whilst in the middle of these worries, it didn’t fix them – I don’t think any one thing could – but it was really comforting. The bridge in particular really hit home: “So what if we choose that we’ll let go of / All the things we’ve no control of / What if we learn to love whatever comes to be.” That lyric reminds me of a Halsey quote that I’d recently heard – “I need to start enjoying my life for what it is right now instead of mourning the expectation of a life that I was probably never meant to have” – and between them, I’m trying to ignore the scary thoughts that tell me I’ll never achieve enough or achieve the things I want to achieve.

Favourite Lyrics: “Maybe this could be / Exactly what should be,” OR “How would you know if someone wiser / Wasn’t forging in these fires / What if you’d washed away what could’ve set you free,” OR “So what if we choose that we’ll let go of / All the things we’ve no control of / What if we learn to love whatever comes to be.”


3. I Wanna Get Better by Bleachers // Humble Quest by Maren Morris

I wrote about how much I loved this song (and the album it belongs to) last year but then, in March, I got the chance to see Bleachers live in Boston when they played the Strange Desire in full. It was an incredible experience that I feel so lucky to have had. Hearing all of those songs was amazing – ‘Like a River Runs,’ which is probably my favourite Bleachers song of all time, was a very close second for this list – but the energy, both from the band and from the crowd for this song was just unreal, unlike anything else I’ve experienced. I love the song and hearing it live is something I’ve wanted for so long: it didn’t just live up to my expectations, it blew them out of the water.

WARNING: FLASHING LIGHTS!

Favourite Lyrics: “Woke up this morning early before my family / From this dream where she was trying to show me / How a life can move from the darkness / She said to get better // So I put a bullet where I shoulda put a helmet / And I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away / That’s why I’m standing on the overpass screaming at myself / ‘Hey, I wanna get better!’ // I didn’t know I was lonely ’til i saw your face / I wanna get better, better, better, better / I wanna get better / I didn’t know I was broken ’til i wanted to change / I wanna get better, better, better, better / I wanna get better”

I love Maren Morris and the fact that her new album came out the day I flew into Nashville felt like some kind of magic. I listened to it on the plane as we flew from Boston to Nashville and I fell in love with the album but specifically with this song. It was my favourite from the moment I heard it. The lyrics are stunning and so deeply relatable – to so many things and so many situations. I’ve been trying to find my way and find my footing and it’s been so hard and I feel so lost sometimes but this song soothed some of that turmoil. It’s uplifting and encouraging and was just what I needed. I like that it isn’t resolved – “I still haven’t found it yet” – because it’s a lifelong search. That was an added comfort. It’s kind of funny to me that this ended up being my favourite song when I really wasn’t sure about it as an album title when it was first announced.

Favourite Lyrics: “Haven’t looked up in a while / Been biting my tongue behind a smile / Falling on swords that I can’t see / Poison my well on the daily / Got easier not to ask / Just kept hitting my head on the glass / I was so nice till I woke up / I was polite till I spoke up // I’m on a humble quest / And damn I do my best / Not gonna hold my breath / ‘Cause I still haven’t found it yet / No, I still haven’t found it yet”


4. Where Would You Rather Die by Kalie Shorr // Free by Florence + The Machine

Something’s gone wrong if there isn’t a Kalie Shorr song on these yearly lists. I could have picked any of the songs Kalie played during her Tin Pan South set but this one was so Kalie in the storytelling – and the backstory. The writing is hilarious but beautifully nuanced and it paints such a vivid picture. I hope she releases it at some point (I feel like, between this song and ‘LAX,’ there’s a running theme of wild adventures in LA) because it really deserves to be heard and her songwriting deserves more recognition.

Favourite Lyrics: I honestly can’t choose. The whole song is so beautifully put together. And hilarious.

This song – if you exchange the dancing for singing or writing songs – could have been pulled straight out of my head, straight out of my heart. There’s so much of me in this song that it took my breath away when I first listened to it. Almost every lyric could be describing my experience in the world as a neurodivergent person with mental health problems and how music is the thing that keeps me going although my love of it and dependence on it does sometimes make life hard. Florence sounds incredible and I love Jack Antonoff’s production, as I usually do. It gives me a lift, not unlike ‘Humble Quest’ by Maren Morris, and I need as many moments like that as I can get.

Favourite Lyrics: “Sometimes I wonder if I should be medicated / If I would feel better just lightly sedated / The feeling comes so fast and I cannot control it / I’m on fire, but I’m trying not to show it” AND “As it picks me up, puts me down / It picks me up, puts me down / Picks me up, puts me down a hundred times a day / It picks me up, puts me down / Chews me up, spits me out / Picks me up and puts me down” AND “I’m always running from something / I push it back, but it keeps on coming / And being clever never got me very far / Because it’s all in my head / ‘You’re too sensitive,’ they said / I said ‘Okay, but let’s discuss this at the hospital'” AND “Is this how it is? / Is this how it’s always been? / To exist in the face of suffering and death / And somehow still keep singing?” AND “But there is nothing else that I know how to do / But to open up my arms and give it all to you”

Note: One of my best friends, LUCE, released her single, ‘Helium Balloon,’ in March, which is not only my favourite song of her EP but is also a song that I was lucky enough to help with the writing of. It’s a very special song and it’s supporting Cambridge Rape Crisis so please give it a stream or buy it to help a really important cause. Another of my best friends (and a frequent collaborator of mine), Richard Marc, released a new EP called Throw Me A Line, which includes three songs that I worked on with him. It’s so cool that this EP is finally out when we’ve been working on some of these songs for so long. 


5. Liars Like You by Sarah Close // Seeing Someone Else by Ingrid Andress

This song blew me away from the moment I heard it. I just love the vulnerability, both in the lyrics and reflected by the delicate production. While a big production would sound great, the simplicity of just the piano and Sarah’s sweet voice made the message of the lyrics – addressing the awful manipulation by someone she loved – so powerful. The lyrics are direct and beautiful and the production is warm but contained, really allowing the lyrics to shine. And as much as I loved the song, I loved it even more when the music video came out. On the surface, it’s an aesthetically beautiful video for a beautiful song and that’s great; sometimes it’s that simple and there’s nothing wrong with that. But there’s something really mesmerising and almost meditative about watching Sarah skate while listening to the song and while it’s a beautifully choreographed music video, you can almost imagine it as Sarah skating and skating and skating, playing through memories and sorting out how she feels and ultimately putting that relationship to bed.

Favourite Lyrics: “And the worst part is how much I miss you / Hate myself cause I want to forgive you” AND “Your voice doesn’t crack when you say it / Your eyes, they don’t give it away that / Even you forget which parts are true / That’s the problem with liars like you / So you laugh like I said something funny / Call me crazy till I think I must be / You’re so good at doing what you do / That’s the problem with liars like you”

From the moment the first chorus came in and the twist in the narrative was revealed, I just loved this song because having someone you love fall in love with someone else is horrible and sad but having someone you love love the person that you used to be but aren’t anymore is so heartbreaking. And a less common theme found in songs. I loved the storytelling, I loved the vocals, I loved the production. I do wish it had a bridge though; I think it could’ve gone in a couple of different, really interesting directions that would’ve added another layer to the song.

Favourite Lyrics: “I think you’re seeing someone else / I think you’re seeing who I used to be / I bet you wish I was the girl that you met / Out at a bar making a mess of twenty three / And if you’re honest with yourself / You know you’re hanging onto history / Yeah, yeah, you say you’re still in love / But it’s so obvious when you look at me / I think you’re seeing someone else” AND “Maybe it’d be better / Maybe it’d be worse / If I had someone to hate / Blame for all the hurt / Well, this won’t work when you’re still here and / I’m not her”


Between mid-May and late October, I was so depressed that I barely listened to any music at all so I don’t feel like I can include any songs because that time is actually kind of marked by the lack of music.


10. Anti-Hero by Taylor Swift

Only Taylor Swift could get me listening to music in the midst of the worst depressive episode I’ve ever had. There are so many songs that I could put in this slot – ‘Maroon,’ ‘Anti-Hero,’ ‘Snow On The Beach ft. Lana Del Rey,’ ‘You’re On Your Own, Kid,’ ‘Midnight Rain,’ ‘Vigilante Shit,’ ‘Bejeweled,’ ‘Mastermind,’ ‘The Great War,’ ‘Bigger Than The Whole Sky,’ ‘Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve,’ ‘Hits Different’ – but I listened to ‘Anti-Hero’ so much (and still do) that it comes in first by a mile. It’s fun and funny and very cathartic to sing your whole heart out to. There are so many lyrics in this song that I feel so deeply (maybe even alarmingly so), deep down in a place that I rarely share with people – like, “I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser / Midnights become my afternoons” (the latter is so, so true with my difficulty sleeping this year), “I should not be left to my own devices / They come with prices and vices / I end up in crisis,” “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me / At tea time, everybody agrees,” “It must be exhausting, always rooting for the anti-hero,” “And I’m a monster on the hill / Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city,” and “I wake up screaming from dreaming / One day I’ll watch as you’re leaving / And life will lose all its meaning / (For the last time) – that have developed as a result of being neurodivergent and having both physical and mental health problems; they make me feel like a burden, like I’m taking up too much space or like my stuff is always sucking up all of the oxygen in the room, like I’m not enough for anyone or anything. The song can’t fix those feelings (that’s probably too much to ask for, even from a Taylor Swift song) but being able to sing along to it, loudly and fiercely and shamelessly does release some of the pressure of those feelings, even if only for a few minutes.

The video is also hilarious and full of interesting metaphors…

Favourite Lyrics: “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me / At tea time, everybody agrees / I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror / It must be exhausting, always rooting for the anti-hero // Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby / And I’m a monster on the hill / Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city / Pierced through the heart, but never killed” AND “I wake up screaming from dreaming / One day I’ll watch as you’re leaving / And life will lose all its meaning / (For the last time)”


11. Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve by Taylor Swift

Midnights came out just as I started seeing a new therapist, which involved sharing my history and a necessary part of that was a relationship that absolutely wrecked me, a relationship that has some very strong parallels to the one that Taylor sings about in this song (although it wasn’t romantic – it was messy and complicated and I don’t know what it was). This song and the themes it touches on – feeling taken advantage of, feeling damaged by a relationship, feeling permanently changed by the experience, feeling ashamed and/or guilty about your own part in it – resonated so strongly that it kicked up a lot of feelings for me, which was only intensified by talking about it in therapy. 

The song itself is written beautifully, making the impact of the story she’s telling even more powerful. With no obvious hook (and the title coming from a section other than the chorus), the song feels almost messy in a very relatable way, rushing towards the end – faster and faster, with more and more desperation – like she’s trying to purge the trauma of the experience. The lyric, “If I was some paint, did it splatter / On a promising grown man? / And if I was a child, did it matter / If you got to wash your hands?” is incredibly powerful – and we know that Taylor has some hard-hitting lyrics in her catalogue – and describes a feeling I’ve definitely experienced, as does “But, Lord, you made me feel important / And then you tried to erase us.” The religious theme, which may or may not reflect Taylor’s personal experience, is very poignant, and fitting for trying to make sense of a traumatic event since a loss of faith, whether in God or something else, isn’t uncommon in such situations. It also makes for very beautiful imagery, like ‘stained glass windows in my mind.’ The bridge may be one of the most beautiful things she’s ever written and all the more impactful for the stunning metaphor and imagery in the earlier lines when followed by the simple, gut-wrenching “I regret you all the time.” And I think we all felt our hearts skip a beat when we heard the lyrics, “Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts / Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first.” Working through shit like this, there’s that period of time where hitting back and being angry feels good and keeps you moving but after a while, it burns out and just leaves you feeling empty and broken. The idea that she feels like this man stole something irreplaceable, something that was a part of her, is heartbreaking, which makes the following phrase, the plaintive “It was mine first,” even more painful. It also sounds like something a young person, even a child, would say, reflecting back on the earlier line – “And if I was a child, did it matter / If you got to wash your hands?” – which just twists the knife that is the core message: what happened to her was a trauma and one that still affects her deeply.

Favourite Lyrics: “If I was some paint, did it splatter / On a promising grown man? / And if I was a child, did it matter / If you got to wash your hands?” AND “But, Lord, you made me feel important / And then you tried to erase us // You’re a crisis of my faith / Would’ve, could’ve, should’ve / If I’d only played it safe” AND “God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be / The tomb won’t close, stained glass windows in my mind / I regret you all the time / I can’t let this go, I fight with you in my sleep / The wound won’t close, I keep on waiting for a sign / I regret you all the time” AND “Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts / Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first”


12. What Sarah Said by Death Cab For Cutie

I came across this song at random and although I’ve loved it for years – in a it’s-a-beautifully-written-and-absolutely-heartbreaking-song kind of way – it felt like hearing it for the first time. It really resonated and the sadness and helplessness just felt so true to my own that I couldn’t stop thinking about it. The piano part is atmospheric and emotive and the lyrics are simple but stunning. It’s not a song with a story – in that something happens – but it’s a snapshot of a moment, of an epiphany, and the attention to detail makes it heartbreakingly poignant, with lyrics like, “And I looked around / At all the eyes on the ground / As the TV entertained itself” and “And then the nurse comes round / And everyone lifts their heads.” There’s a harshness to it – “As I stared at my shoes / In the ICU / That reeked of piss and 409” – but also a fragility – “And it came to me then / That every plan / Is a tiny prayer to father time.” There are moments that just knock the wind out of you and those are the ones that I’ve always felt most drawn to, like “Amongst the vending machines / And year old magazines / In a place where we only say goodbye” and “It stung like a violent wind / That our memories depend / On a faulty camera in our minds.” Those lyrics always resonated with me so deeply and I feel them even more now; they’re the painful truths that we don’t like to think about, just like the the revelation that it feels like the song is building to from the first note. I hear the line, “Love is watching someone die,” and it’s like the world drops out from under you, made all the more gut-wrenching by the following lyric, “So who’s gonna watch you die,” which I think can be interpreted in multiple ways, all of which are very powerful.

Favourite Lyrics: “And I rationed my breaths / As I said to myself / That I’d already taken too much today” AND “Amongst the vending machines / And year old magazines / In a place where we only say goodbye // It stung like a violent wind / That our memories depend / On a faulty camera in our minds” AND “And I looked around / At all the eyes on the ground / As the TV entertained itself” AND “And then the nurse comes round / And everyone lifts their heads / But I’m thinking of what Sarah said / That love is watching someone die / So who’s gonna watch you die”


Anyone who’s been following this blog for a while will know that I am pretty much incapable of keeping to my own twelve song rule but, this year, it seems that I have (which says something in itself about the year). Here we are. This year in music, this year in the lack of it. I hope this was interesting and that maybe you found a new song or two that you like. Again, here‘s the link to the Spotify playlist.

National Album Day 2022

I really wasn’t sure whether I’d get this blog post up but I’d managed to write a good chunk of it and it seemed a shame to let it go unfinished. The last year has been a struggle and the last six months have been horrendous; my depression has been suffocating and has definitely impacted my ability to engage with and enjoy things. So there are fewer albums this year than there have been previously, fewer than I would’ve liked had all things been normal. I know the theme this year is debut albums but I’d already written a significant amount of this post before that was announced and, if I’m honest, I just don’t have it in me at the moment to completely rewrite this post. Life is hard right now; I’m doing the best I can.


At War With The Silver Fish by Laura Jane Grace (September 2021) – One of the things I love about Laura Jane Grace’s music is how deeply it can vary; I’m not very good at identifying genres but each track sounded so different, which was really cool, especially when it’s only about fourteen minutes long in total. Some of the instrumentation and production I didn’t like but the parts that I did, I loved: I loved the instrumentation of ‘Electro-Static Sweep’; I loved the beat and the guitar and the gorgeous, hazy vibe of ‘Lolo 13’; and I loved the production of ‘Yesterday Pt. II.’ I also really liked a lot of the lyrics too. The opening line of ‘Three of Hearts’ – “Three of hearts, two of them are broken / One of them is gold, all of them are worthless” – which is the opening line of the EP, got me straight away. ‘Lolo 13’ was probably my favourite lyrically: I loved the detail, the visual imagery, and the dreamlike quality of the whole thing, with lines like, “I asked for your name three times / Just to make sure that I heard it right / You told me my jeans don’t fit right / Said that we should make out sometime,” “We met on a night / That my mind made up,” and “Does a mirror have two sides? / Are you waking up in your real life / Too much fun to have in this life / Will you find me on the other side?” I loved it. On listening to ‘Day Old Coffee,’ I burst out laughing because while I wouldn’t have phrased it as such, I definitely identified with the feeling and it was just kind of bizarre to hear that feeling stated so explicitly: “Day old coffee microwaved to boiling / Pour it on my eyeballs and boil my dumb shit brains out,” “‘Cause I don’t ever want to hear or think or speak again / I don’t ever want to hear or think or speak again,” and “What’s with all the questions? / To whom do I owe the pleasure? / To whom do I owe the obligation?” Like, it’s not a fun or funny feeling to experience but hearing it out loud shocked a laugh out of me. I kind of wish ‘Smug Fuckface’ had a different title since the song starts on such a different emotional note, which would make the twist halfway through that much more surprising. It’s a really interesting little song: it’s less than two minutes long but it covers such a rollercoaster of emotions and thoughts. It’s a really cool little EP and I look forward to whatever Laura Jane Grace creates next.

Favourite Tracks: ‘Lolo 13’ and ‘Smug Fuckface.’

It’s Hard To Be Human by Kina Grannis (October 2021) – I’ve been listening to Kina Grannis on and off since approximately 2011 and some of her songs, particularly ‘California,’ have had pretty dramatic impacts on my life so I was very excited to find out that she was releasing a new album and one with a title that felt very fitting for my state of mind at the time (and quite a long time afterwards). Sometimes, if I haven’t listened to her music for a while, I seem to forget just how deeply her music affects me. She’s an incredible writer; I have no idea how she isn’t more famous, isn’t a superstar (one of her own design though, not one molded by others). I loved almost every single song on the album.

I’d heard Future Memories before hearing the album and it’s so beautiful with the delicate guitar and vocal. The lyrics are just so heartbreaking (“We watch the leaves unfolding quietly / No tugging at the time or way of things / And we mirror both the growth and withering”) and the evolution of the story throughout the song (from “We’re in the garden smiling / I didn’t notice how much love I’ve known” to “We’re in the garden laughing / I didn’t notice how much you had grown” to “He’s in the garden crying / I didn’t notice yet that I had gone”) is so beautifully done.

‘It’s Hard To Be Human’ is one of my favourite tracks on the album. It’s sad but also warm and comforting and I know I’ll listen to this in the future while in tears, for both good and bad reasons. The lyrics are stunning (“We just keep spinnin’ and everyone’s hurt / Both of us talking but no one feels heard,” “It’s hard to be human and hard to grow up / I just keep trying and keep messin’ up / And maybe I’m learnin’ and findin’ my way / But how could I feel this and still be okay?” and “I’m sittin’ here, starin’ at the gutter / Wonderin’ why I feel sorry for myself / If we keep hurtin’ one another starts to color / How we’re doin’ it to ourselves”) and I loved her description of spontaneous songwriting: “Can you pull the car over? I need to slow down / Get some words lined up and see how they sound.” It’s so real and raw. The structure of the song is interesting; what sounds like a prechorus when first sung repeats as the final section of the song. It’s so beautiful and feels so profound: “I know you never wanna get me down / But it’s a steep road I’m walkin’ on / You know I never wanna get you down / But it’s a bit late, now.” It’s the promise we make to people we love but not everyone can keep it.

Another stunning song is ‘Love Anyway.’ The lyrics were just gorgeous; they flowed beautifully and all of the internal rhyming made me so happy (what can I say – I’m a songwriting nerd). I loved all of the imagery: “I woke to a bitter scene / The whole world was crumblin’ / I cried to the guileless moon / The wolves came to comfort me / And just as I fell asleep / I heard they were crying too,” “As dewdrops and morning fell / The sun came and wished me well,” “I sat in the broken weeds / And wove them into tapestries,” and “Feeling that we are all the same / All of one heartbeat, different names.” And the bridge is just stunning: the lyrics build beautifully (from “How do we get to the other side of this?” to “How do we get through the fight in it?” to “How do we get to the light in it?”), as do the vocals and harmonies, making it a deeply emotional and uplifting section. The only snag for me is that I find the chorus line a little cliché, something that’s just a bit more noticeable when the rest of the lyrics are so well crafted.

While ‘Quiet’ didn’t connect with me as deeply as some of the others, I thought it built beautifully and powerfully (in the emotional sense) throughout the song and I loved the mention to her album, Stairwells: “I never knew where I belonged / Searched for myself in every song / But I’d had it in the stairwells all along.” I thought that was gorgeous.

‘I Never Wanted Anything More Than I Wanted You’ broke my heart on first listen. The lyrics were so emotional and I immediately thought it was about wanting a baby, something (as well as infertility, IVF, and more recently the birth of her daughter) that Kina has talked about on social media over the years. When I looked it up later, Genius stated: “Kina Grannis and her husband Jesse Epstein have been open about their fertility struggles and their miscarriage in the past, and “I Never Wanted Anything More Than I Wanted You” is about the couple’s miscarriage of their dearly anticipated daughter. The song details Kina’s struggles with the loss, her tiredness from the grief, and the couple’s dreams of a family.” And, in the description of the music video, Kina wrote: “The first time these words came out of my mouth I immediately started crying. There’s something powerful that happens when you admit to yourself out loud the extent to which you are yearning for something, the extent to which you are hurting. It can break your heart into a million little pieces, but somehow that’s better than the pressure cooker of trying to dismiss your emotions and make them smaller. Acknowledging and respecting where I was at allowed me to fully step into my heartache and give myself permission to feel all these things, and in some ways it was a first step in realizing I needed to be a bit kinder to myself, too. This is a song about yearning and loss and the delicate balance of trying to accept the path you’re on while not letting it rob you of hope in the process.” That only made it more heartbreaking. It’s a beautiful, beautiful song but it’s just so sad; I hate to think of her feeling the way the song describes. I could probably include all of the lyrics but the ones that hit me the hardest were “I’m at my lowest, caught in a moment / Tryna to get over this,” “I feel you in the sea, washing over me / Something in the movin’ tides / Every fallen leaf seems to say to me / ‘Everything in time,'” and the chorus line of “I never wanted anything more than I wanted you” just, as I said, breaks my heart. The piano part is gorgeous too and fits the song perfectly.

‘Oh What A Love’ is a gorgeous little love song. It has some really stunning imagery (my favourite is “Oh what a love we have / Watched as it sank under water”) and some beautifully simple statements that, to me at least, make love songs all the more poignant, like “Our love is our love.” It sounds lovely too, with some exquisite layering of instruments, vocals, and backing vocals.

While the choruses of ‘Crawl’ didn’t quite land for me, I love what Kina has written about it: “This song is about the chapter that comes after the knockdown – the chapter where you start to come to again, and though you’re weak and hollowed out and broken, you’re ready to start trying to put the pieces back together. To me, it feels like the beginning of healing. Or maybe the beginning of being WILLING to heal. It’s about baby steps and celebrating the small wins and giving yourself grace on the occasions you might momentarily stumble back into the dark. ‘Crawl’ found its way to me in a dire moment and served as a little mantra I could sing to myself as I ever-so-slowly trudged my way back to myself.” I can definitely relate to that sentiment. To all of it. Of the song itself, I really loved the verses: I thought the lyrics, and the imagery in them, were just beautiful. The first verse in particular resonated so deeply: “Knock on the door / I’m afraid of all the things / That I am not anymore” and “Just like before / I am scattered trying to find the parts of me / On the floor.” And the second verse was just as gorgeous: “You and the stars / Make a list of pretty things to fill my day / Bless your heart” and “You deal the cards / And it’s better when I seem to drift away / From the dark.”

‘Another Way’ is another of the album highlights, along with ‘It’s Hard To Be Human,’ ‘Love Anyway,’ and ‘I Never Wanted Anything More Than I Wanted You.’ And like ‘It’s Hard To Be Human,’ it has a deep and moving message, one that’s easy to forget in the chaotic world we’re trying to navigate: “Maybe this could be / Exactly what should be.” The lyrics in the verses are simple but powerful, demonstrating how we can turn our obsessive worrying on its head: “How would you know if what you’re needing / Isn’t something you’re not seeing / What if you lost the chance to be what you could be,” “How would you know that something better / Wasn’t waiting for bad weather / To soak its seeds, to give you everything you need,” and “How would you know if someone wiser / Wasn’t forging in these fires / What if you’d washed away what could’ve set you free.” I’m not sure how well they translate on paper (or simply as text) but, paired with the melody, the song is really beautiful. And I liked that the bridge wasn’t preach-y. Rather than trying to tell the listener how to change their thinking, she’s simply and gently opening the door to the possibility that we don’t have to worry the way we do. That’s the first step: “So what if we choose that we’ll let go of / All the things we’ve no control of / What if we learn to love whatever comes to be.” It’s a gorgeous song, another gorgeous song on a gorgeous album.

This has gotten long but it’s a beautiful album and I highly recommend it.

Favourite Tracks: ‘It’s Hard To Be Human,’ ‘Love Anyway,’ ‘I Never Wanted Anything More Than I Wanted You,’ ‘Oh What A Love, ‘ ‘Crawl,’ and ‘Another Way.’

Season Two by Jaz Beeson (October 2021) – There’s something gorgeously cohesive about this body of work, sonically and lyrically, with its lively production, catchy melodies, and light, delicate vocals. I thought ‘Short, Sweet Summer’ was a cool introduction to the project, hazy and atmospheric (although a bit sonically busy for my personal taste). I liked the concept, as well as the concepts of ‘Midnight Crush’ and ‘Honey & Sunflower Seeds’ (although the bridge made me sad) in particular. There was a lot of stunning imagery and beautiful lyrical details, especially in ‘Honey & Sunflower Seeds,’ ‘Feel Alive,’ ‘Coffee Machine Sounds’ (I loved the sense of urgency in this song, conveyed both through the lyrics and the production), and ‘Wanna Know.’ I also really liked the melodic rhythms and uplifting vibe in the latter. It was a really great choice for a single. The one thing that I struggled with it, throughout the tracklist, was that I wish the vocals were a little higher in the mix because I felt like I was missing the lyrics at certain points, which was a shame when I was enjoying the lyrics so much.

Favourite Tracks: ‘Short, Sweet Summer,’ ‘Wanna Know,’ and ‘Coffee Machine Sounds.’

Red (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift (November 2021) – After my experience with Fearless (Taylor’s Version), I was prepared to feel somewhat thrown by the differences between the original tracks and rerecordings and thrown I was: the drum and electric guitar sounds in ‘State Of Grace (Taylor’s Version)’; the electric guitar in ‘I Knew You Were Trouble (Taylor’s Version)’; the electric guitar sounds in ‘All Too Well (Taylor’s Version)’; the guitars and vocal effects in ’22 (Taylor’s Version)’; the chorus vocals in ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together (Taylor’s Version)’; the messiness of the dueting vocals in ‘The Last Time (Taylor’s Version) [feat. Gary Lightbody]’ (and while their vocals aren’t bad, I’d rank them lowest on the album when they were some of my favourites on the original album); the vocal effects in ‘Begin Again (Taylor’s Version)’; oh, and the complete re-production of ‘Girl At Home (Taylor’s Version)’ surprised me (sometimes I think I’m the only person who likes the original production). I don’t dislike it but as fun as it is, I think I preferred the original. Not a hill I feel the need to die on though; both are good.

That’s not to say that they don’t sound good; I just felt like the changes were very noticeable. ‘Red (Taylor’s Version)’, ‘All Too Well (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘I Almost Do (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘Sad Beautiful Tragic (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘The Moment I Knew (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘State Of Grace (Acoustic Version) (Taylor’s Version),’ and ‘Ronan (Taylor’s Version)’ all sound incredible, particularly the vocals. And I feel like the backing vocals are even more gorgeous on this version of the album than the original. But then Taylor’s vocals have come a long way over the last ten years.

The vault tracks – almost a whole new album’s worth of songs – are awesome. They fill out the story and provide so much more insight into the relationship and the situation, even more than I thought possible, especially given how incredibly raw the original album felt. The themes of the album are reinforced, the imagery more vivid, the details of the story even more heartbreaking with the new context: the songs are all so intricately interwoven. ‘Better Man (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)’ is really powerful (although I did find the melody changes a bit jarring) and it’s so cool to have Taylor’s version of it. ‘Nothing New (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) [feat. Phoebe Bridgers]’ is stunning but heart-wrenching: I definitely relate, both in terms of growing up and in terms of the music industry. It breaks my heart that Taylor was feeling like this at twenty two and as beautiful as the song is, I am personally kind of glad that it wasn’t released on the original album because knowing Taylor was feeling that way would’ve been devastating; I found ‘The Lucky One’ upsetting enough as it was. It’s not so bad hearing it now, given that Taylor seems to be in a hugely creative and positive place in her life, despite everything that’s happened. I am glad that we finally have a female-female duet, especially one that’s making such an important point about what it’s like to be a woman in the music industry. I’ve always loved ‘Babe’ so it’s really cool to hear Taylor’s version of it and the “What about your promises, promises, babe?” backing vocal is an interesting addition that distinguishes it from the original release. ‘Message In A Bottle (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)’ is really fun but I definitely think Taylor made the right choice when she chose the three Martin/Shellback collaborations; I just think those three are tighter and convey the themes of the album better. ‘I Bet You Think About Me (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) [feat. Chris Stapleton]’ cracks me up; when I first heard the lyric, “I bet you think about me in your house / With your organic shoes and your million-dollar couch,” sung with such petulance, I burst out laughing. While I tend to prefer the sadder songs, I think it’s a brilliantly petty response to a relationship where her partner clearly belittled her and thought himself superior. And the music video is hilarious. ‘Forever Winter (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)’ is probably my least favourite vault track, I think because the contrast between the serious subject matter and the upbeat music just doesn’t work for me. I think it’s lovely in how heartfelt it is but I don’t think it’s as lyrically sophisticated as most of the other songs on the album and in the Red vault. I really liked ‘Run (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) [feat. Ed Sheeran]’ and it’s my favourite of Taylor’s collaborations with Ed Sheeran (although I can understand why she chose ‘Everything Has Changed’ for the original album); I love how delicate it sounds. ‘The Very First Night (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault)’ wasn’t a favourite initially but it’s grown on me over time. While the chorus feels a little clichéd in places, I love the imagery and detail in the verses and pre-choruses, plus the melodies are super catchy.

And then we have ‘All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault).’ I don’t think I can describe my thoughts and feelings about it any better than I did in my 2021 in Songs post: “I could talk about this song forever but I’ll try to be concise. The lyrics are beautiful, some of her best, and they tell us so much more of the story than the original cut. It connects to so many songs on the album, even more than it did before, and really broadens our understanding of both that time and what came after. I also love how naturally it flows through different phases of emotion (the fondness, the longing, the loss, the confusion, the shame, the anger, the pain, the invalidation, the grief…) without losing its way. And I think part of why it means so much to me (apart from my original attachment to the song and the album) is because of how, emotionally, it mirrors an experience I had. Lyrics like “And I was thinking on the drive down, any time now / He’s gonna say it’s love, you never called it what it was / ‘Til we were dead and gone and buried / Check the pulse and come back swearing it’s the same,” “You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath,” “You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine / And that made me want to die / The idea you had of me, who was she? / A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you,” and “Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it / I’d like to be my old self again, but I’m still trying to find it” all bring back memories of that person and that time and while it was heartbreaking and traumatic, it is part of who I am. I think being able to pour all of that emotion into a song – and a song that good – is an incredible feat.”

Something that I love about getting vault tracks with each album rerecorded is that, while the rerecording of the albums allow her to retake the masters, the vault tracks – with their new details, new layers, new perspectives – allow her to retake the narrative. Every album tells a story and she’s making that story her own again.

Favourite Tracks: ‘Red (Taylor’s Version)’, ‘I Knew You Were Trouble (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘All Too Well (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘I Almost Do (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘Sad Beautiful Tragic (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘Starlight (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘The Moment I Knew (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘Ronan (Taylor’s Version),’ ‘Better Man (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault),’ ‘Nothing New (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) [feat. Phoebe Bridgers],’ ‘Babe (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault),’ ‘Run (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) [feat. Ed Sheeran],’ ‘The Very First Night (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault),’ and ‘All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault).’

Thrive by Cassadee Pope (October 2021) – I get so nostalgic when I listen to Cassadee Pope. I remember being sixteen and listening to ‘Candles’ and anxiously awaiting her solo EP a year later when it was delayed for release on iTunes by a few days. I remember combing YouTube for videos during her pre-Frame by Frame tour and falling in love with ‘I Wish I Could Break Your Heart,’ ‘This Car,’ and ‘Easier to Lie,’ in particular. I remember hearing Emily Shackelton performing ‘Summer’ at Tin Pan South, the first year I visited Nashville, and then being so excited when I heard Cassadee would be releasing it… Looking back, I’m kind of amazed at how long I’ve been listening to her. There aren’t many artists that I’ve listened to so consistently for so long. There’s something so fundamentally her about her music; I’d recognise a song of hers from the moment she started singing. I love her sound: a unique mix of pop, pop-rock, and country (I believe she was quoted as saying “this pop-punk country record that has country lyrics and storylines, but leans a little bit more pop-rock, pop-punk when it comes to sonically and melodies”). And I love the production: the guitar sounds are gorgeous and her vocals are stunning as always (apart from ‘No Now,’ which sounded a bit strained but the vocal recording sounded different from the others so maybe the recording process was different for that song). The album is full of great songs: ‘Same Old Brand New Me’ and ‘Thrive’ are awesome and empowering; songs like ‘Say It First,’ ‘Break Too,’ and ‘No Now’ are so sad but so real; and songs like ‘Some People’ have that classic Cassadee sass.

Favourite Tracks: ‘Welcome,’ ‘Same Old Brand New Me,’ ‘Say It First,’ ‘Break Too,’ ‘Thrive,’ ‘Some People,’ ‘Remedy,’ and ‘No Now.’

10 Year Plan by The Shires (March 2022) – There’s a lot I like about this album: the melodies are great, they’re great vocalists, and some of the songs have some lovely concepts that play out beautifully (‘Side By Side,’ ’10 Year Plan,’ and ‘A Bar Without You,’ for example). I also really liked the production in a lot of the songs, like ‘I See Stars’ and ‘A Bar Without You’ (although the latter doesn’t feel very country); it felt really full and rich. Having said that, Ben and Crissie didn’t sound as consistently gorgeous as they usually do. In songs like ‘Cut Me Loose,’ ‘Sparks Fly,’ ‘I See Stars,’ and ‘When It Hurts,’ they sound great, separately and together (one of my favourite things about them is how great they sound together), there were other songs where I just felt like they didn’t sound like themselves at all. In ‘Plot Twist,’ Crissie doesn’t sound like herself and in ’10 Year Plan,’ Ben doesn’t sound like himself either. I believe they said the album was recorded remotely and I wonder if that’s the cause since I’ve never felt tripped up by their sound before.

I think the inclusion of ‘Peggy I’m Sorry (Demo)’ is really interesting because the style of the songwriting is so different to how they usually write. Over the last few albums, I’ve struggled with many of the songs feeling somewhat vague, like they could be about anyone; they just don’t feel real to me and so I find it hard to feel invested in the songs and the stories they’re telling. They sound great but the emotional attachment isn’t the same as it is with writers/artists like Taylor Swift and Maren Morris, for example. I think this song (and certain other songs from previous albums like ‘Nashville Grey Skies,’ ‘Made in England,’ and ‘Daddy’s Little Girl’) is an example that they could write more specifically and personally with the same (and possibly more) success. I’ve just been finding the typical love songs and clichés a bit tiring when they’ve already proved that they’re capable of more – of more depth – than that.

Overall though, while I have mixed feelings about this album, I do like it more than the last one.

Favourite Tracks: ‘Cut Me Loose,’ ‘Side by Side,’ ’10 Year Plan,’ ‘A Bar Without You,’ ‘Peggy I’m Sorry (Demo),’ and ‘When It Hurts.’

Humble Quest by Maren Morris (March 2022) – I was a little unsure about this album since the first single, ‘Circles Around This Town,’ took a while to grow on me but from my first listen-through, I loved it. I loved that you can hear ‘echoes’ of Hero and Girl but there’s also a new sound that’s unique to this new album; it felt like the growth was very organic and very authentic. ‘Circles Around This Town’ felt like the perfect first single and first track on the album, reflecting on the past, building on it with the present, and looking to the future with lyrics like “I still got the pedal down” and “I still get lost, I still get found.” It just felt really fitting. Her vocals are as gorgeous as always (‘Background Music’ and ‘Nervous’ stood out in particular) and there are some absolutely stunning lyrics (‘Humble Quest,’ ‘Background Music,’ and ‘What Would This World Do?’ jump out at me but most of the songs have at least one pure gold lyric) – sometimes I think they get overlooked because she has such an incredible voice. And something that instantly jumped out at me was that there was more of her signature wit and sass than there was on Girl, in general but specifically in songs like ‘I Can’t Love You Anymore’ and ‘Tall Guys.’ I also feel like some of her cowrites are quite recognisable at this point. Like, I just knew ‘Nervous’ was a Natalie Hemby cowrite, with it’s wordplay and melodic rhythms and it didn’t surprise me at all to learn that ‘Tall Guys’ and ‘Good Friends’ were too; their songs just sound like their songs. That’s not a bad thing; it’s just something that I felt like I could actually put my finger on now that we’ve reached album three.

‘Humble Quest’ is easily my favourite song and it was from the moment I heard it. The lyrics are just gorgeous and so real and relatable; I really, really felt it. Lyrics like “Haven’t looked up in a while / Been biting my tongue behind a smile,” “Just kept hitting my head on the glass / I was so nice till I woke up / I was polite till I spoke up,” “I’m on a humble quest / And damn I do my best / Not gonna hold my breath / ‘Cause I still haven’t found it yet,” and “Standing up was enough of a battle / How do I not cast a shadow? / I’m a hell of a hassle” all resonated so deeply. And I like that it doesn’t resolve – “I still haven’t found it yet” – because I’m not sure it’s something we ever definitively find. We get closer (hopefully) to figuring our shit out but I don’t think we ever completely get there and there’s something comforting about hearing that, about being reminded of that. Maren sounds incredible and the arrangement is just gorgeous; I love a lot of her songs but this one might just take the cake.

Favourite Tracks: ‘Circles Around This Town,’ ‘Humble Quest,’ ‘Nervous,’ ‘Tall Guys,’ ‘Good Friends,’ and ‘What Would This World Do?’

hopeless fountain kingdom (Live From Webster Hall) by Halsey (June 2022) – hopeless fountain kingdom might be my least favourite Halsey album (because one of the four has to come in fourth) but I was so excited for this album; the studio version was a grower rather than love-at-first-listen and it was the tour that really had me falling in love with it. So getting to hear the songs ‘live’ again is so special. Halsey’s vocals are incredible and I love the way she speaks or even shouts certain lines, like “I don’t let him touch me anymore” in ‘100 Letters,’ giving them even more power. And the strength of the crowd singing along is so special, especially when it’s just Halsey and the crowd; that sends shivers down my spine. I loved hearing the songs that Halsey never (or rarely) performed live and I thought that this version of ‘Lie’ with the bridge of ‘Without Me’ was so cool.

As I said when writing about the Badlands live album, it’s hard to differentiate between my favourite songs on the original album and my favourite tracks on the live album because they’re not necessarily the same but I’ve tried to pick my favourites based on the performances rather than the writing…

Favourite Tracks: ‘The Prologue,’ ‘100 Letters,’ ‘Eyes Closed,’ ‘Heaven In Hiding,’ ‘Leave It On The Floor – Talking Break,’ ‘Sorry,’ ‘Lie,’ ‘Walls Could Talk,’ ‘Bad At Love,’ ‘A Cry That You Answered – Talking Break,’ ‘Strangers,’ ‘Angel On Fire,’ ‘Devil In Me’ (I think this one was my favourite performance of all), and ‘Hopeless.’

Good Person by Ingrid Andress (August 2022) – I loved Ingrid’s first album, Lady Like, so I was very excited to hear her second. I was actually lucky enough to be invited to the listening session in London a few months before it came out, which was a really special experience. So I had heard a few of the songs before I sat down to listen to the album but it was still mostly a new experience, whereas, with Lady Like, I’d heard almost the whole album before it came out.

This album has a stronger pop slant than the previous album, especially when it comes to the production; it’s gorgeous and atmospheric and really suits her voice and her songs. Thinking about production choices, I particularly loved ‘Good Person,’ ‘Seeing Someone Else,’ ‘Talk,’ ‘No Choice,’ and ‘Pain.’ The imagery in her songwriting is still very emotive and powerful, reminiscent of the strengths of ‘More Hearts Than Mine. Her use of imagery throughout the album is beautiful and it was something that struck me right from the first listen. The other thing that struck me was how, even with only two albums, the ‘Ingrid-isms’ are already becoming clear, from the twist in ‘Seeing Someone Else,’ to the sassy repetition of “How honest do you want me to be?” to little twists in her lyrics. Her writing is recognisably hers.

Something I’ve noticed a lot recently is the lack of bridges (or middle eights, if that’s what you know them as) in songs and I think that’s really sad. They can really elevate a song, bringing it to a whole new level, which I think was proven by the songs that did have bridges, like ‘Yearbook,’ ‘No Choice’ and ‘Blue.’ That’s not to say that the songs without bridges are bad because they’re not; I just think it’s worth noting how great the songs with bridges are and how the bridges add to those songs.

My top three songs are unquestionably ‘Blue’ (I’ve been waiting for her to release this song since she performed it on tour pre-Lade Like), ‘Things That Haven’t Happened Yet’ (this song was probably the most relatable to me, although I would’ve ended it differently), and ‘Seeing Someone Else.’ To give you a sneak peak of my 2022 in Songs post, here’s what I wrote about the latter: “From the moment the first chorus came in and the twist in the narrative was revealed, I just loved this song because having someone you love fall in love with someone else is horrible and sad but having someone you love love the person that you used to be but aren’t anymore is so heartbreaking. And a less common theme found in songs. I loved the storytelling, I loved the vocals, I loved the production. I do wish it had a bridge though; I think it could’ve gone in a couple of different, really interesting directions that would’ve added another layer to the song.”

Lady Like will always have a special place in my heart but this is also a very special album.

Favourite Tracks: ‘Seeing Someone Else,’ ‘How Honest Do You Want Me To Be?’ ‘No Choice,’ ‘Blue,’ and ‘Things That Haven’t Happened Yet.’


One of the hardest parts of the last few months has been my inability to enjoy anything, to enjoy music. I hope that that will change soon.

2021 in Songs

This is one of my favourite posts of the year, as hard as it is to narrow it down to one song a month (or sometimes two, if I really can’t choose). It’s so easy for time to make things blurry and for songs to transcend time that I love being able to see exactly when songs impacted my life and what they meant to me. I kind of love the idea of looking back one day – sometime in the future – and knowing which exact songs I connected to, rather than just having a vague sense of which artists and albums I loved.

So, here is my soundtrack for 2021. I’ve made a playlist on Spotify so you can listen along here if you’d like to.


1. it’s time to go by Taylor Swift

The bonus tracks from Taylor’s album, evermore, started to circulate at the end of 2020 when people began to receive their physical copies but they weren’t released ‘officially’ until the beginning of 2021. It was a really hard choice between ‘right where you left me’ and ‘it’s time to go’ because they’re both such stunning songs but in the end, ‘it’s time to go’ won by a hair. The instrumentation is so delicate and vulnerable, just like the emotions she describes in the song. And the stories she’s telling are heartbreakingly sad with lyrics that may be some of her most poignant, including, “When the words of a sister come back in whispers that prove she was not,” “That old familiar body ache, the snaps from the same little breaks in your soul,” “Fifteen years, fifteen million tears, beggin’ ’til my knees bled,” “I gave it my all, he gave me nothing at all, then wondered why I left,” “He’s got my past frozen behind glass but I’ve got me,” and “Sometimes givin’ up is the strong thing, sometimes to run is the brave thing, sometimes walkin’ out is the one thing, that will find you the right thing.” It’s Taylor at her most vulnerable, something that is such an honour to be allowed access to, and it brings me to tears almost every time I listen to it.

Favourite Lyrics: “That old familiar body ache / The snaps from the same little breaks in your soul / You know when it’s time to go” AND “He’s got my past frozen behind glass / But I’ve got me”


2. Skyscraper by Demi Lovato // Forgive Or Forget by Sarah Close

I stumbled upon this song again when I was doing research for my Daisy Johnson song. I spent a lot of time watching fan videos on YouTube, listening to the songs that other people associated with her: the style of music, the instrumentation, the lyrics in the songs, the emotional undercurrents. And one of those videos used this song. It’s been years since I last listened to it and I’d forgotten how powerful and emotive it is. I love how it acknowledges the pain, whatever pain you find yourself hearing in it, but is ultimately empowering and uplifting, putting the real focus on overcoming that pain. Just listening to it makes me feel stronger; it definitely a good song to listen to before trying to do something difficult or painful.

Favourite Lyrics: “You can take everything I have / You can break everything I am / Like I’m made of glass / Like I’m made of paper / Go on and try to tear me down / I will be rising from the ground / Like a skyscraper”

I fell in love with this song from the first listen. I’ve listened to Sarah on and off for several years (she actually went to the same university as me) and I love her writing. Her lyrics and melodies are just gorgeous: rich but light, catchy without driving you absolutely bananas. It’s so good. I love the imagery, like “Just like in a film, now I’m standing outside your door, in the pouring rain, with a speech that I wrote between watching movies on the plane” and “So now I’ve shown up at your door, will my key work like it did before? And when I look inside, will your love be just the same?” They’re so vivid, like you’re right there in that moment she’s singing about. I loved it straight away and couldn’t stop singing it. I even did a little cover of it on Instagram…

Favourite Lyrics: “Should I forgive or forget, relive or regret? / I know I’m willing to change / So tell me, do you feel the same? / ‘Cause I won’t retrace all the mistakes / If you’re willing to change / I’m telling you, I feel the same” AND “So now I’ve shown up at your door, will my key work like it did before? / And when I look inside, will your love be just the same?”


3. Riser By Dierks Bentley (written by Travis Meadows) // Plan For Paris by Betsy Lane

I know that this would be considered a Dierks Bentley song since he released it but, to me, it will always be a Travis Meadows song. I first heard it when I saw him play at a Tin Pan South show while in Nashville for the first time and it was one of those moments that just sticks with you, one of those memories that somehow remains in perfect condition, like it’s been frozen in amber. The room seemed to be holding it’s breath, completely enraptured by his voice and his lyrics. And when he finished, the room seemed to snap out of its trance and gave him a standing ovation.

This song has meant a lot to me ever since but it was in March that I learned about the extensive surgery Travis Meadows had (at the time) recently gone through and the recovery he was working towards. A gofundme, A FundRiser, had been set up to support him and his family, which I immediately donated to and shared on all of my socials. He’s an incredible songwriter and just an incredible spirit. His music has given me so much that, although I wish these weren’t the circumstances, I’m grateful for the opportunity to give something back.

Favourite Lyrics: “I’m a riser / I’m a get up off the ground, don’t run and hider / When pushin’ comes to shovin’ / Hey, I’m a fighter / When darkness comes to town, I’m a lighter / A get-out-alive-r, of the fire, survivor”

I’ve loved Betsy’s music for a long time, so long that I can’t actually remember when I first heard a song of hers. But she’s a gorgeous writer and it was very cool to finally meet her when she came to the UK on a mini-tour in 2018 after years of listening to her music. She’s just the loveliest and the EP she was releasing at the time was great. But this song, although a step in a new direction, is on a whole new level: it’s a beautiful combination of her warm, intimate storytelling and exciting, new pop production. It’s feel-good and catchy and I absolutely love it.

Favourite Lyrics: “…I wish we could just / Go back to Paris / Catch a train through the south of France / Cross the border into Spain / Learn how to dance / Under the sky of the Spanish moon / Baby, hold my hand, I’m following you”

Note: My friend and frequent collaborator, Richard Marc, released his first single, ‘Put It In A Postcard,’ at the beginning of March but given that I cowrote the song, it felt weird to put it on this list when that isn’t the point of this list.


4. Mr Perfectly Fine (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) by Taylor Swift // Love and Great Buildings by Andrew McMahon In the Wilderness

As excited as I was for Taylor re-recording her albums, I didn’t feel a hundred percent good about it until Taylor herself made it clear that it’s been really rewarding and fulfilling – so far, at least. I hated the idea that it might be upsetting or taint her feelings about her previous work since it was something she was ultimately forced to do if she wanted to own her back catalogue. So I’m really glad that it doesn’t feel like that. It’s amazing and kind of surreal how she can sound just like her teenage self, how the album sounds so close to the original release. There are multiple songs I could choose from for ‘the one’ but ultimately ‘Mr Perfectly Fine’ came out on top (although ‘We Were Happy’ was a close second). Not only is it super catchy and has this really great, dynamic energy, but I love the balance of heartbreaking and then absolutely scathing lyrics, like, “‘Cause I hear he’s got his arm ’round a brand new girl / I’ve been pickin’ up my heart, he’s been pickin’ up her / And I never got past what you put me through / But it’s wonderful to see that it never phased you.” It’s emotionally complex, like the situation, but still such a jam. And the final chorus, with the switch from “Hello Mr. ‘Perfectly Fine'” to “Goodbye Mr. ‘Perfectly Fine'” and the key change, it’s a hugely satisfying end, lyrically, musically, and emotionally. I love it and played it over and over again.

Favourite Lyrics: “It takes everything in me just to get up each day / But it’s wonderful to see that you’re okay // Hello Mr. ‘Perfectly Fine’ / How’s your heart after breaking mine?” AND “‘Cause I hear he’s got his arm ’round a brand new girl / I’ve been pickin’ up my heart, he’s been pickin’ up her / And I never got past what you put me through / But it’s wonderful to see that it never phased you”

I heard this song on a TV show (I can’t remember which one now) and just fell in love with the concept. The imagery is gorgeous (with phrases like, “My heart is an apartment building on the verse,” “The market shifts can cause storm systems to converge,” and “Brick and plaster, beams and broken windows”) and I love the production, both for the sounds used and for the energetic, almost euphoric feeling it evokes. I spent many days with it basically on repeat because I just really needed that energy. My only quibble with it is that almost every single rhyme is a perfect rhyme (‘verge’ and ‘converge,’ ‘optimistic’ and ‘realistic,’ ‘endure’ and ‘cure,’ etc) and having just spent a semester learning about, discussing, and experimenting with techniques like different types of rhyme, that really stuck out to me. It felt a little clunky and I thought there could’ve been some stronger, more interesting rhyming in what is otherwise a really cool song.

Favourite Lyrics: “Love and great buildings will survive / Strong hearts and concrete stay alive / Through the great depressions / Yeah, the best things are designed to stand the test of time // Love and great buildings will endure / Blue skies and bloodlines are the cure / For the great deceptions in a world that’s such a blur / We’ll stand the test of time”


5. Coming Up For Air by Signals In Smoke // A Love Song by Ladyhawke

There’s something about this song that I just can’t quite explain. It’s so beautifully simple. I love lyrically dense songs, songs that you could turn into a feature length film, but what I love about this song is that it doesn’t need to do that. The lyrics are uncluttered, guiding the emotion but leaving you to fill in the details yourself. But they’re intimate and uplifting, enhanced by a deeply emotive and beautiful melody. The production is rich and atmospheric and enveloping; and the colours and textures I feel in it are just gorgeous (I don’t know if that response to music is part of being autistic or some form of synesthesia or something else entirely). It’s just stunning.

Favourite Lyrics: “It ain’t over, love / This I swear / We’re coming up for air”

I freaking love this song. I listened to so much Ladyhawke during the last semester of my Masters but this song won the top spot with ease. I love the energy (and the colours) of the arrangement and the production –  there’s something so pleasing to my ears about synth-pop music – and I love the story it tells, or at least the story that I interpret from the lyrics. To me, it reflects the contradiction of what real love is, that it is both easy and hard to truly love someone. With lyrics like, “You’ve opened my eyes to the oldest tale of time,” alongside the gleaming production, the song embodies the ease of love, proven by the fact that we have been falling in love as long as we have existed. The song is a celebration of that love. But then it also contains lyrics like “I’m falling down, too much to drink again / You pull me up and tell me how it could end” because sometimes love is having the tough conversations and making the hard choices. And we always come back to the same line: “This is what a love song sounds like.” Both of these instances are expressions of love, of the love stories we write and the love songs we sing to one another. That’s what I love about this song, that it allows these two ideas to coexist (just as they can and do in real life) in such a beautiful way.

Favourite Lyrics: “This could be my life, but it’s only words / To make me feel right when the meaning’s blurred / You’ve opened my eyes to the oldest tale of time / This what a love song, love song sounds like // I’m falling down, too much to drink again / You pull me up and tell me how it could end / This is what a love song sounds like”

Note: My friend and frequent collaborator, Richard Marc, released his second single, ‘Close To You,’ at the beginning of May. I cowrote it so I’m not officially including it on this list but you guys should check it out because Richard is really awesome. 


6. good 4 u by Olivia Rodrigo

This song is such a jam. As I said in a post a little while back, I struggled to get into Sour, I think just because she was everywhere and everyone was talking about her and I just felt a bit like it was being forced down my throat and my natural reaction to that is to be perverse and do the exact opposite of what I’m being pushed to do. Maybe that’s a bit childish but I think it worked out in the end because if I’d listened to the album then, I don’t think I would’ve liked it. After giving it some time, I did listen to it and I do like it; I think it being my choice made all of the difference. I like a good handful of the songs (most of them album tracks, which isn’t unusual for me) but this one is just irresistibly fun. I love how it toes the line between righteous anger over being treated badly (“It’s like we never even happened / Baby, what the fuck is up with that?”) and pettiness (“Remember when you swore to god I was the only / Person who ever got you? / Well, screw that and screw you”) – because, let’s face it, we’ve all been there in some way or another. We’re allowed to be angry and call people out for their bad behaviour (I’m talking on an emotional level – society often has other opinions) but we’re also not always our most mature selves when we’ve been hurt by someone and I think this song reflects those two states of emotion well. I also love the swearing but I think it only works because it feels natural and emotional and not at all affected. It’s hugely relatable (I can definitely see a significant relationship of mine in it) and very cathartic to sing along to. I’m a fan of the arrangement and production too. I love the rhythm of the bass, the arrangement of the backing vocals (they’re fantastic, album wide), and her vocal delivery is fantastic: she’s so expressive in her singing and there isn’t a line where it feels like she’s ‘just’ singing.

Favourite Lyrics: “And good for you, it’s like you never even met me / Remember when you swore to God I was the only / Person who ever got you? / Well, screw that and screw you / You will never have to hurt the way you know that I do” AND “Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy / Not me, if you ever cared to ask / Good for you, you’re doing great out there without me, baby / Like a damn sociopath / I’ve lost my mind, I’ve spent the night / Crying on the floor of my bathroom”


7. Way Out by Richard Marc & Jaz Beeson // Renegade (feat. Taylor Swift) by Big Red Machine

This song is so freaking catchy that every time I hear it, it’s stuck in my head for days afterwards; ever since I first heard it, I’ve been waiting impatiently for it to come out so that when people ask me what I’m singing or humming or whatever, I can actually point them to it. The melody is just perfect, smooth and rich and beautifully matches the moody production. It’s a hard call but it may be my favourite production from Richard’s EP. The different elements just work together so well and I love how it builds, especially in the bridge with more and more layers of backing vocals. It’s just so atmospheric. By the time we land in the final chorus and that building tension falls away, it’s like breaking the surface and taking a deep breath after being underwater for too long. I love both Richard and Jaz as singers but there’s something about the tone of their voices in this song that just gets me every time. They sound so good together; their voices really compliment each others.

Usually, I like detail in lyrics but there are definitely exceptions and this is one of them. There’s something really cool about the way it sounds like you’re listening in on a conversation between two people and, because it’s their conversation, they don’t need to explain the details to each other because they both already know. So, even if we’re left out of the narrative loop a little, there’s a really gorgeous sense of intimacy about this song that I don’t think could’ve been achieved if it hadn’t been a duet.

Favourite Lyrics: “Leave me in the fallout, tell me when you come down, can you find a way out, way out?”

This song leaves me feeling very raw. I really relate to this song but in lots of different and confusing ways. Sometimes I feel kind of called out by it; I can imagine a relationship coming to this (given everything I deal with, I’m sure I’d be difficult to love). But I can also see my relationship with myself in the song. “There was nowhere for me to stay, but I stayed anyway” reminds me of how many times I could’ve given up but haven’t; “And if I would’ve known how many pieces you had crumbled into / I might have let them lay” and “And if I would’ve known / how sharp the pieces were you crumbled into / I might have let them lay” makes me think about how this journey (with my mental health and the discovery that I’m neurodivergent and managing all of these things) always seems to get harder and what it would’ve been like if I’d known where I’d be a year, two years, five years down the line when everything started to unravel, back when I was a teenager; “Is it insensitive for me to say / ‘get your shit together, so I can love you?'” and “Is it really your anxiety that stops you from givin’ me everythin’ / Or do you just not want to?” make me wonder what it is that makes it so hard to treat myself with kindness and patience, why I’m so hard on myself; “You fire off missiles ’cause you hate yourself / But do you know you’re demolishing me?” reminds me – painfully – of how much damage I’m doing to myself, some unwillingly but some willingly. And so on and so on. It’s a lot. It makes me very emotional but, even though it’s hard, it’s important to me too; songs that describe how you feel, especially when those feelings are complicated, are so rare and so special. It’s a beautifully written song and despite the heaviness of the lyrics, it’s very soothing to listen to. The melodies are exquisite and Taylor’s voice sounds incredible. Justin Vernon is definitely my favourite of her duet partners. Their voices sound gorgeous together.

Favourite Lyrics: “There was nowhere for me to stay, but I stayed anyway” OR “Are you really gonna talk about timin’ in times like these? / And let all your damage damage me? / And carry your baggage up my street? / And make me your future history?” AND “Is it insensitive for me to say / ‘Get your shit together, so I can love you?’ / Is it really your anxiety that stops you from givin’ me everythin’ / Or do you just not want to?”


8. Alibi by Kalie Shorr // Darling by Halsey

While the whole of Kalie’s EP, I Got Here By Accident, is fantastic, ‘Alibi’ is such a vibe. The arrangement and production – the warm tone of the guitars and the bass, the satisfying punch of the drums, Kalie’s soft but striking vocals – creates this fantastic energy and the melodies are so catchy; the song is frequently on repeat in my brain and I’m not complaining one bit. I love it. And I relate to it so much: I would do anything for my friends (grand theft auto, arson, and accessory to murder may be a bit far but hopefully you get my point). “If someone’s breaking your heart / Hold my beer, I’ll fight ’em” is a situation I’ve been in and I’ve absolutely said both “Tell me who to hate, yeah / You don’t have to worry / I don’t have to meet ’em / I believe your story” and “If you’re in trouble, make it mine,” although probably less eloquently. So this is definitely my friendship anthem. I was even writing a song along a similar theme when it came out.

Favourite Lyrics: “Anyone can be your best friend at a party / But if you dig a hole, then I’ll bury the body / No questions, I won’t ask why / I’ll be your alibi” AND “If you asked / I’d pick you up when you’re drunk downtown / Or go burn down your ex’s house / It’s like that / Completely unconditional” AND “Tell me who to hate, yeah / You don’t have to worry / I don’t have to meet ’em / I believe your story” AND “If it’s for you, it’s not a lie / If you’re in trouble, make it mine”

There were multiple songs I could’ve chosen from Halsey’s newest album: I love every song but I do love ‘Bells in Santa Fe,’ ‘Darling,’ ‘1121,’ ‘The Lighthouse,’ and ‘Ya’aburnee’ in particular. But in the end, ‘Darling’ is the one that just gets me every single time. It sounds beautiful, with the delicate guitar and heartfelt vocals (as well as gorgeous backing vocals), and the lyrics are stunning, with – I have no doubt carefully chosen – really emotive imagery, like “Really can’t remember where I left my spine / Carrying my body in a bag for dimes / hidden in the pages of the New York Times at home” and “I’ll kidnap all the stars and I will keep them in your eyes / I’ll wrap them up in velvet twine / And hang ’em from a fishin’ line / So I can see them any time I’d like.” Making sense of our mortality and our place in the world is a massive subject and very personal for a lot of people, myself included, but listening to this song always eases my anxieties a little, even if I still don’t have the answers I want.

Favourite Lyrics: “Ever since a little girl, I found it sweet / Drivin’ past a graveyard on a lonesome street / All the little flowers gave me somethin’ to believe in” ANDCouldn’t really tell you where they’d leave a stone / To visit me when I am dead and gone” AND “I’ll kidnap all the stars and I will keep them in your eyes / I’ll wrap them up in velvet twine / And hang ’em from a fishin’ line / So I can see them any time I’d like”


9. Radio Silence by Natalie Hemby

I had fallen in love with this song before I’d even finished listening to it that first time and I just love it more with every listen. The lyrics, the vocals, the arrangement, and the production… they’re all so incredibly beautiful, so perfectly matched to convey the emotion of the song. Trying to hold onto something, like a friendship or relationship, even as you can feel it slipping away from you is so deeply sad and so painful and even though you know you should let it go, you can’t help longing for what it once was. I can relate to this song on so many levels, to so many people and experiences in my life. It frequently brings me to tears but usually it’s more a relief cry, down to listening to a song that so perfectly describes a feeling I’ve had so many times.

Favourite Lyrics: “I tried to reach you through the growin’ static / I tried to replicate the fading magic / Did everything to keep the signal from dyin’ / All I got was radio silence / I tried to tell you that it’s gonna get better / I tried to put the pieces back together / Did everything to keep the signal from dyin’ / All I got was radio silence”

Note: My friend and frequent collaborator, Richard Marc, released his fourth single, Nashville, on the 1st September. I cowrote it so I’m not officially including it on this list but you guys should check it (and his previous tracks) out because he is absolutely awesome. 


10. Like A River Runs by Bleachers 

I absolutely love this song; I think it may be my favourite Bleachers song, which is saying something given how much I love ‘Wild Heart,’ ‘I Wanna Get Better,’ and ‘What’d I Do With All This Faith?’ to name a few. I just feel it so deeply and I really relate to many of the things that Jack Antonoff has said about it. As I said in my post for National Album Day 2021, “it just resonates so strongly in all the right ways.” The production is fantastic and fits so beautifully with the emotion and with the lyrics. And the vocals are exquisite. Listening to it, it feels like Antonoff’s voice is coming from inside my own head somewhere, which only makes it feel more personal, like he’s speaking my feelings into life. Lyrics like “The summer’s gone and I’m alone / And I get the feeling that you’re somewhere close,” “The rhythm of your wild heart / It beats, been beating since you’ve gone,” “And I know you’re gone but still / I will remember your light,” and “And if you see me in the darkness / I hope you know I’m not alone / I carry you with every breath I take” all hit really close to home. The chorus is especially stunning, uplifting and deeply emotional at the same time: “When I fall asleep, I can see your face / What I lost in you, I will not replace / And I could run away, I could let them down / But I will remember your light.”

Favourite Lyrics:When I fall asleep I can see your face / What I lost in you I will not replace / And I could run away, I could let them down / But I will remember your light” AND “The summer’s gone and I’m alone / And I get the feeling that you’re somewhere close” AND “And if you see me in the darkness / I hope you know I’m not alone”


11. All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) by Taylor Swift

‘All Too Well’ has always been at the top of my list of favourite Taylor Swift songs and while I loved the idea of the ten minute version, I don’t think I ever really thought we’d hear it. So while I don’t like the circumstances that brought us to the rerecordings, I am grateful for the positives that have come out of the whole mess. Like the ten minute version of ‘All Too Well,’ not that it feels like ten minutes when you’re listening to it. As much as I love the production of the 2012 version, I think it was important that they were different because they have very different emotional undercurrents and the production for the ten minute version matches the feel of the longer story, in my opinion at least. I’m also very pleased that it was Jack Antonoff who produced it since he is my favourite of Taylor’s collaborators.

I could talk about this song forever but I’ll try to be concise. The lyrics are beautiful, some of her best, and they tell us so much more of the story than the original cut. It connects to so many songs on the album, even more than it did before, and really broadens our understanding of both that time and what came after. I also love how naturally it flows through different phases of emotion (the fondness, the longing, the loss, the confusion, the shame, the anger, the pain, the invalidation, the grief…) without losing its way. And I think part of why it means so much to me (apart from my original attachment to the song and the album) is because of how, emotionally, it mirrors an experience I had. Lyrics like “And I was thinking on the drive down, any time now / He’s gonna say it’s love, you never called it what it was / ‘Til we were dead and gone and buried / Check the pulse and come back swearing it’s the same,” “You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath,” “You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine / And that made me want to die / The idea you had of me, who was she? / A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you,” and “Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it / I’d like to be my old self again, but I’m still trying to find it” all bring back memories of that person and that time and while it was heartbreaking and traumatic, it is part of who I am. I think being able to pour all of that emotion into a song – and a song that good – is an incredible feat.

(‘All Too Well (10 Minute Version)’ was pretty much always a shoo-in for the top spot but I also really love ‘Nothing New.’ I love that we finally have a female-female duet and it’s such a beautiful song. The lyrics “I’ve had too much to drink tonight / And I know it’s sad / But this is what I think about,” “How long will it be cute / All this crying in my room / When you can’t blame it on my youth,” “How did I go from growing up / To breaking down,” “I know someday I’m gonna meet her / It’s a fever dream / The kind of radiance you only have at seventeen / She’ll know the way and then she’ll say she got the map from me / I’ll say I’m happy for her then I’ll cry myself to sleep,” and, of course, “And will you still want me when I’m nothing new?” all hit so hard. I definitely relate to it, both on a personal level and on a working-in-music level. I am kind of grateful that she didn’t release it on the original album because I think it would’ve been devastating, knowing that Taylor was feeling that way. I found ‘The Lucky One’ upsetting enough.)

Favourite Lyrics: [buckle in, folks!] “Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze / We’re singing in the car, getting lost upstate” AND “I might be okay, but I’m not fine at all” AND “Wind in my hair, I was there / I remember it all too well” AND “You taught me ’bout your past, thinking your future was me” AND “And you were tossing me the car keys, ‘fuck the patriarchy’ / Key chain on the ground, we were always skipping town / And I was thinking on the drive down, any time now / He’s gonna say it’s love, you never called it what it was / ‘Til we were dead and gone and buried / Check the pulse and come back swearing it’s the same / After three months in the grave” AND “And I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to” AND “‘Cause there we are again in the middle of the night / We’re dancing ’round the kitchen in the refrigerator light” AND “You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath / Sacred prayer and we’d swear / To remember it all too well” AND “Well, maybe we got lost in translation / Maybe I asked for too much / But maybe this thing was a masterpiece / ‘Til you tore it all up / Running scared, I was there / I remember it all too well / And you call me up again just to break me like a promise / So casually cruel in the name of being honest / I’m a crumpled up piece of paper lying here / ‘Cause I remember it all, all, all / They say all’s well that ends well, but I’m in a new Hell / Every time you double-cross my mind / You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine / And that made me want to die / The idea you had of me, who was she? / A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you / Not weeping in a party bathroom / Some actress asking me what happened, you / That’s what happened, you” AND “Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it / I’d like to be my old self again, but I’m still trying to find it / After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own / Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone” AND “I’m a soldier who’s returning half her weight” AND “Just between us, did the love affair maim you, too?” AND “Just between us, did the love affair maim you all too well? / Just between us, do you remember it all too well? / Just between us, I remember it all too well”

Note: My friend and frequent collaborator, Richard Marc, released his fifth single, ‘I Don’t Know,’ at the start of the month. Again, I worked on the song with him so, again, it’s not officially on this list but I love it and it’s a great song; you guys should definitely check it out (along with his now complete EP) because Richard is just awesome. 


12. All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor’s Version) (From The Vault) by Taylor Swift

Yes, I’m still absolutely in love with this song. It’s been on repeat – in real life and in my head – ever since it came out. I’m not surprised at all.


Will there ever be a year when I actually keep to the twelve songs a year rule? Probably not. It keeps expanding every year, both in songs and in favourite lyrics. I’m not complaining; I’ll never complain about finding more music to fall in love with. Having said that, I am aware that these posts can get long! But I hope it was fun or interesting or both and, again, here is the playlist link if you’d like to listen to the songs I’ve talked about.