Sooty, The Littlest Kitten

TW: sick pet, pet death, pet loss, pet grief, medical environments, medical equipment, etc. 

Several weeks ago now, I got home late, high on the adrenaline of an incredibly fun and productive day in the studio to find the youngest in my family of cats, Sooty, collapsed in the garden, lethargic and clearly in pain. Despite having just driven for two hours, my Mum and I bundled her up in the cat blanket and got back in the car, headed for the out of hours vet. We arrived at about ten o’clock and she was whisked away, having only gotten more distressed during the drive. I wasn’t in denial – it was clear that something was wrong – but I was trying not to jump to the worst case scenario, at least until we had more information. I didn’t want to torture myself unnecessarily, especially since we didn’t know how long it would be before someone came back to give us an update. My hope, which I felt wasn’t desperately unrealistic, was that she’d eaten something bad for her or something like that and that dehydration from lying in the sun for who knows how long had worsened her condition; I hoped that, perhaps, if that dehydration could be resolved relatively easily, then whatever the bigger problem was wouldn’t be quite as serious as it appeared. Looking back, I don’t know if that was reasonable or unreasonable but I was just trying to get through each minute of waiting for an update.

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What I Did In Lockdown – Part 2

On the 31st October, it was announced that England would be going into lockdown again on the 5th November so it seemed appropriate to revive this list. Having said that, it hasn’t felt like a lockdown at all with so many business, schools, and activities continuing still open; life seems to have continued as normal, which has felt very stressful. I don’t want to make generalisations though. I know that many people have stuck to the rules and been very careful and I am so grateful to everyone who has done so.

As a disabled person, my life hasn’t changed much with the lockdown. The only significant change has been that I haven’t been able to swim, the only exercise I am currently able to do. I can admit that that has been very frustrating and upsetting but if it helps to keep people safe, then that is something that I’m more than willing to do. I just hope that the sacrifices so many people are making are worth it – most so much bigger than mine – that they outweigh the lack of care that some people have shown. Just my two cents.

Now, to the list…


  • Reimagined one of my old songs for a Masters assignment.
  • Wrote and posted eight blog posts.
  • Spend half a day recording vocals for various songs.
  • Celebrated graduation (online) with my friends who did the course full time even though I’m part time and will graduate next November.
  • Wrote an essay about how important writing is, especially when it comes to mental health and neurodiversity for publication.
  • Had an interview published (x)
  • Recorded the ‘BEHIND THE SONG: Honest’ video.
  • Recorded a video explaining what’s next for the Honest EP.
  • Recorded the reimagination of my old song.
  • Had a massive meltdown on Bonfire Night.
  • Had multiple blogs post about ‘Honest’ (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)
  • Worked on the arrangement and production of the reimagination of my old song.
  • Celebrated Joe Biden winning the presidency (safely, of course).
  • Prepared for the panel I was speaking on about being an autistic student during the pandemic.
  • Worked on the essay for this module of the Masters.
  • PopWrapped posted my personal essay about the importance of writing in my life (x)
  • Received Halsey’s poetry book, ‘I Would Leave Me If I Could.’
  • Watched Halsey’s livestream for the book release.
  • Had a really lovely full EP review (the first one!) posted (x)
  • Edited and finished the music video for ‘Honest’ with Richard.
  • Worked on my reimagination of a cover, another university assignment.
  • Started watching His Dark Materials Series 2.
  • Watched The Queen’s Gambit on Netflix.
  • Did lots of my Christmas shopping.
  • Took Lucy to the vet for her second operation and took care of her afterwards.
  • Posted the ‘BEHIND THE SONG: Honest‘ video.

  • Announced the music video for ‘Honest.’
  • Had several excruciating nerve pain attacks; as of mid-November, I’ve been waiting for a hospital appointment for about eight months and on a schedule of painkillers that aren’t as effective as I’d like.
  • Raged about the unfairness of Taylor Swift being denied the opportunity to buy her Masters yet again.
  • Managed to get my favourite vocals plug-in in a pre-Black Friday sale.
  • Rewatched Noughts + Crosses.
  • Dyed my hair.
  • Wrote a rap…
  • Spoke on a panel at UniversitiesUK’s conference (about how the Covid-19 pandemic is affecting Higher Education), sharing my experience as an autistic student during the pandemic.
  • Watched ‘Tim Minchin: Apart Together, The Album Live!’ and loved so many of his new songs.
  • Uploaded the ‘Honest’ music video to YouTube and posted about it on social media.

  • Wrote and posted a blog post about Agents of Shield, Daisy Johnson, and how much they mean to me.
  • Had multiple production sessions with Richard.
  • Saw a doctor for the pain and blocking of my ear; I was diagnosed with an ear infection and given a medicinal spray to help get rid of it.
  • Had my heart rate and blood pressure checked to find out whether I’m in a position to try a different anxiety medication.
  • Bought Melodyne to help with producing my own demos (thank goodness for Black Friday sales because I could never afford these plug-ins otherwise).
  • Watched folklore: the long pond studio sessions and completely adored it.
  • Found out that I finally have an appointment for the nerve pain I’ve been experiencing and it’s in less than a month.
  • Watched the film, Close, in which Noomi Rapace is just awesome.
  • Spent several days feeling like I was on the edge of a meltdown, alternating between crying and sleeping.
  • Finished watching The Split Series 2 and Nicola Walker’s performance had me in tears multiple times.
  • My EP, Honest, surpassed 30,000 streams on Spotify!
  • Had a really positive response to one of my songs in class that resulted in a really positive conversation about inclusivity and accessibility for neurodivergent students.
  • FaceTimed with my Granny to celebrate her birthday.
  • Had a lovely time watching one of my cats watching a TV programme about puppies; she was absolutely fascinated and kept touching the screen.

I hope that was interesting to read, that you got something out of this post. Hopefully there won’t be cause to revive it again but if there is, I guess we’ll see what I get up to. I hope you’re all staying safe and are coping the best you can. See you in the next post.