Finding HopeAutism Dogs – The Application
Posted on November 19, 2024
It’s official! I’m getting an Autism Assistance Dog! These posts are currently quite out of date because I wanted to get well into the process before writing too much about it but now that things are really moving, there’s a lot to share!
I applied to Autism Dogs twice, first in September 2021. But a month later, I was informed that I hadn’t gotten past the application round. They got in touch though and said that there was nothing wrong with me or my application, just that they always have more people apply than they can take on every time they open up the application process; they only have so many dogs and so many people to train them.
Once that happened, I applied again in May 2023 and, this time, they accepted me and I moved onto the next round of the application process, which involved more forms and and an interview with two people who work for the charity. The main point of the interview was so that they could get a real sense of me as a person and of what I would need from an assistance dog but it also allowed them to gather more information, like whether we would be able to care for the dog, whether we could fund the training process, and so on. They had my application form so they already had a lot of information about me but the interview gave them a chance to ask more questions and for us – my Mum and I – to expand on the information we’d already given them. It also gave us the chance to ask the questions that we’d started to come up with. Going through this process, guided by autistic people and people who’ve had lifelong experience with autistic individuals, I just felt like they got me: no request or accommodation was surprising or irritating; many of my needs and sensitivities were already accommodated for; and there were regular check ins, breaks, and as much flexibility as the schedule allowed. It was the first time I’d experienced anything like that and honestly, it was amazing, if kind of surreal.
They signed off on me and so I went on to do a one-to-one video call with the founder of Autism Dogs. She was really, really lovely and we had a really long, really interesting and engaging conversation; we talked about the charity, about me, about all of this going forward, and she was very happy to officially welcome me into the program and begin the process of having me matched with a dog, provided we could meet the financial requirement of the application, which we had been planning for – especially since we hadn’t been accepted the first time but had been encouraged to keep trying.
It was made very clear early on that it’s not a speedy process, that you can be on the waiting list for a year to eighteen months. That was always fine with me because making sure that a person is matched with the right dog can’t be a simple process and, of course, I’d much rather wait longer for a better fit. If you and your dog aren’t a good match, the whole point of having an assistance dog is undermined: you won’t benefit from the relationship and support and your dog will struggle and ultimately fail to thrive as an assistance dog. I can’t imagine that it’s a situation anyone seeking an assistance dog wants to be in. As the months have passed, I’ve stood by that belief because I want this relationship to be successful and helpful to me in becoming more independent and and having a bigger life; I know that can’t happen if I try to rush the process. Plus I have multiple sensory sensitivities which ruled out certain breeds of dogs, again slowing the process because they had less dogs to select from.
We had multiple meetings – both over Zoom and in person at the Autism Dogs farm – but it wasn’t until twelve months after I was accepted into the program, in May 2024, that I was matched with a dog, a gorgeous black Labrador who is now well on her way to becoming my assistance dog.
As I said in the introduction, I’m quite a bit further down this road than the blog post suggests but I wanted to detail the whole process from the beginning with as much information as possible but in digestible chunks (as well as writable chunks) so that it doesn’t take forever to post – unlike my yearly album posts.
NOTE: Between my brain fog and a WordPress update, I lost track of what was supposed to be the next post, the next step in the journey: discussing my Advanced Tasks list and meeting some of the dogs to get a sense of which breed I would be most comfortable with. That post is now up and you can find it here.
Eight Month Pupdate
Posted on April 13, 2024
This was supposed to be a six month update post on life with Izzy in it but, between the trauma of breaking up with my therapist and trying to write that out of my system, it’s become more like an eight month update. I’m not sure how that much time with my baby has passed already but I’m so grateful to have found her, that we made the decision to bring her home. She’s snuggled her way into my heart and I adore her more than I really understood to be possible. As well as being a consistent source of joy, she’s an incredibly grounding presence and although I’m not sure I can describe it, she gives me something that I desperately need. I love my cats dearly but the relationships are very different and the way Izzy loves to be close, responds to my emotions, clearly tries to make me feel better when I’m struggling… it helps me in a very specific way and I’m so, so grateful for that.
If you’ve been following me for a while (on here or on either Instagram or TikTok), you may remember that I got a puppy – a Pomchi (half Pomeranian, half Chihuahua) called Izzy – last September. Back then, she was an excitable handful of fur with huge ears and there was nothing she loved more than a snuggle. And now, suddenly eight months have passed and her personality has become even bigger than her ears…
Now, at almost ten months old, she’s become such a character. She’s the sweetest little soul and she’s almost always up for a snuggle (sometimes the desire to play is just too strong). I completely adore her and she completely adores me; she always wants to be, at the very least, in the same room as me (and preferably pressed up against me) and she jumps up into my hands when I reach for her. It’s so cute. She hated sleeping apart from me, no matter how many different strategies we tried, so she does just sleep in my bed with me. I love it and she seems to as well; I worried that that would become a problem when I needed to be away but she’s handled it fine, as long as she’s with someone she knows. She’s also become a proper little guard dog and she takes her role of defending our house very seriously. I should’ve seen that coming since protectiveness is a core trait in both Pomeranians and Chihuahuas. She’s especially protective of me, which is very cute but it is a behaviour that we need to work on: the amount of potentially scary barking just isn’t necessary, especially when that level of protectiveness hasn’t been required once so far. But she’s young and bright and we’re working on it; I’m not worried.
At only a few months, she was curious and excitable and smart and now she’s even more so. She’s so quick to pick up on what’s going on – especially when I’m upset – and she’s learned so many tricks: my personal favourites are ‘high five’ and ‘spin,’ both of which she picked up so fast. She’s really good with a lot of the more basic ones too and between her getting better at communicating what she wants or needs and us getting better at interpreting that behaviour, we’ve worked out a good routine together in which she really seems to thrive. She’s gotten so much more confident too and she’s really grown into herself (although not her ears – they are still huge and it does make me smile to think about whether, when she cocks her head in a certain way, she’s listening to messages from NASA).
She’s still desperate to be friends with the cats. And although they’re all much more settled and able to coexist reasonably peacefully, most of the cats still keep their distance – her bounciness is clearly still a bit too unpredictable for them – but they all stand their ground when she rushes up to them. They’re not quite ready to be best friends. But Lucy, the eldest, has started to engage with her, on her own terms of course. She’s starting to play and seems to enjoy provoking Izzy, only to leap out of her reach. So they’re not there yet, but you can see the relationships growing. It’s a very interesting process to watch, to see them learn how to communicate and how to create and respect each other’s boundaries. They’ve made a lot of progress since the early days and it gives me hope that, sometime soon, those relationships will grow even further and they’ll be able to interact gently and affectionately.
We’ve been able to leave her alone for longer periods, alone and with other people, and we just got back from two weeks away in Nashville: Izzy stayed at home with an experienced house sitter so that both she and the cats wouldn’t have their routines disturbed too much. I was a little worried about her being without us for so long but, as I knew deep down, she would be fine. And she was, but she was beside herself to see us again. That was a very joyful reunion, on both sides. And we’ve been glued together ever since, which has been lovely. She’s been grinning almost non-stop and it’s beyond adorable.
I can’t believe that I’ve had her by my side for eight months now. As I write this, she’s tucked into my body with her chin resting in the crook of my elbow, snoring softly. She’s soft and warm and perfectly content. And with her next to me, as close as she can get, everything feels a little less overwhelming.
Self Harm Awareness Month 2024
Posted on April 1, 2024
TW: Discussions of self harm.
Yes, I know I’m late and that Self Harm Awareness Month was March but my recent post (about the disastrous ending of my therapy sessions) took up so much time and energy and emotion that I just didn’t have the space to write anything else and certainly not in time for the end of March. But I did post this as part of my recent foray into TikTok and I thought it summed up my journey pretty well so it seemed fitting to share it here…
It was a moving experience to see so many people sharing such vulnerable stories but I think the experiences posted likely skewed towards: all of the stories that I saw ended positively, with the individual celebrating being clean of self harm for however long. And that’s great, don’t get me wrong; it’s amazing to see people share how hard they’ve worked to move forward, to process and heal and recover. But I think it’s often the case that those who are still struggling don’t feel able to share due to judgement or comparison to those ‘further down the road’ or because their stories aren’t traditional ones. I don’t consider mine exactly traditional and I think that’s because my self harm use has mostly been due to my Autism and my difficulty regulating my emotions. So I think it’s important to share that experience, as well as the fact that I don’t know what it will look like in the future and how that is a frightening concept.
I don’t have the answers and, in this season of my life, I don’t have any poignant, wise words either. I’m just taking it day by day because even a single day can feel overwhelming right now.
Finding Hope 