Posted on March 8, 2020
Happy International Women’s Day! The theme this year is #EachforEqual, based around the idea that we can all choose to challenge stereotypes, improve environments, and celebrate women’s achievements. “Collectively, each one of us can help create a gender equal world. Let’s all be #EachforEqual.”
So to celebrate the day, I wanted to share some of my favourite female creatives, from writers to artists to musicians. Having said that, these are all ‘smaller’ artists, artists that aren’t supported by major companies or big record labels and so on.
Laura Greenway – Laura is an incredible artist who I’ve known for a while now, after seeing her gallery crowdfunding page. She makes beautiful visual art and immersive art, based around various mental health problems. Her pieces are thought provoking and meaningful and I look forward to everything she posts about her art.
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Still so pleased with how our group show at @deptforddoesart came out. Here’s a shot of my three text pieces that were on show including the middle piece ‘Body Poems’ that features the poem I recited as part of my live performance. #art #artist #artwork #contemporarypainting #fineart #modernart #contemporaryart #contemporaryartist #textart #mentalhealthart #blackandwhite #mentalhealthawareness #bodystandards #poetryart #bodyimage #liveart #deptforddoesart
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Isobel Anderson and The Female DIY Musician – Isobel is an amazing musician and sound artist and I was lucky enough to have her as a tutor at university last year. She was encouraging and inspiring and truly motivating. She’s one of the best tutors I’ve ever had. She also runs a community that supports and empowers women wanting to be musicians, specifically those wanting to learn how to record and produce. It’s really helpful and positive, which is hard to find in such a male dominated industry.
Deerful – Emma is a really good friend of mine and she makes so many different things: music in many forms, art, loops, and so on. She’s incredible, skilled at so many things and I would absolutely love to work with her on a project one day. You can find her music here.
Aislin Evans – Aislin is another of my good friends and she’s an amazing songwriter. I love everything she writes. She’s also an actor, multi-instrumentalist, and mental health advocate. She’s doing impressive and inspiring work as a human being and I’m so proud of her and to know her. (You can find her music here.)
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You don't need a new you this year. The person you are right now, were yesterday, last week, year, have always been, is enough. So ridiculously enough. You don't need a new you. Sure, have goals and things you want to strive towards and learn and ways in which you want to grow, but you are already enough. In case no one told you. Happy new year 🖤
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Laura Zocca – I’ve followed Laura on YouTube and social media for years and she’s a beautiful songwriter. She’s also a lovely human. Even though she’s now pursuing other career paths, she’s still releasing music, which makes me very happy. I’m still hoping for a few of my old favourites to see the light of day…
NADINE – Nadine is an awesome singersongwriter and I love her songs. I’ve been to several of her gigs and the atmosphere is incredible; everyone is picking up the words and singing along by the end of the first chorus. It’s magical. A handful of her songs actually move me to tears. She’s also a tutor at my university and although she only taught me for one class, she was great, really encouraging and thoughtful in her responses to our songs.
Write Like A Girl – “Only 17% of UK songwriters are women. Write Like A Girl aims to put female songwriting talent back in the spotlight – and inspire more women to create original music.” This showcase is so cool and so inspiring, full of amazing female songwriters. I try to go whenever I can and I would absolutely love to play in one of their shows at some point.
Liberty’s Mother – I’ve talked about Liberty’s Mother and the woman behind the project, Sophie Daniels, but I had to include her in this list. She’s doing amazing things (an EP, launch event, month long challenge) to raise awareness and money for the baby loss charity, Tommy’s. It’s so inspiring and encouraging to see someone use art and music to do such good for so many people.
Caitlyn Siehl – This girl is an incredible writer and her book, What We Buried, is one of my favourite books, poetry and in general. She writes beautifully: some of the poems are painful, some of them are joyful, some of them are so real it’s like they were written about your own life. It’s a fantastic book and you should definitely read it.
Rosie Powell – Rosie is an amazing photographer and videographer and I absolutely love her work. I’m so happy and so grateful that my first music video was done with her because she made it so easy and so comfortable when I was so nervous. I should probably post some of her other work but I wanted to post what we worked on together because I’m so proud of it. I would absolutely love to work with her again at some point.
Betsy Lane – Betsy is a light of a human being, practically a ball of positivity and sunshine, although that’s not to say she doesn’t bravely share her struggles and vulnerability. She’s a lovely human being and a stunning singersongwriter. I finally got to meet her and see her play a garden show a couple of years ago and she was just as sweet as I’d expected her to be. You can find her music here.
Lois de Silva – I’ve been friends with Lois for years, since we were about sixteen or seventeen. She’s one of the kindest, sweetest people I know and she’s an incredibly talented artist, in multiple forms. She’s done the animation for the last and an upcoming music video and they are so beautiful. Again, I’m so happy and so grateful to have had the opportunity to work with her and I’m so, so proud of the results, to have them be the visuals for my music. And again, I should share some of her other projects but I love the work she did on my song so much that I just have to share our current video. You can follow her on Instagram here.
Annerb – Annerb isn’t someone I know or have had more than the occasional Tumblr ask but she writes the most amazing fanfiction and she’s legitimately all I’ve read in the last year or so. The dedication to these stories, which are thousands of words long, is incredible and the stories are just beautiful. And even when the stories are tense, the reading of them and the familiar characters are very calming and really helpful with my anxiety.
Song Suffragettes – And while Song Suffragettes is the biggest person/organisation on this list, I had to include them because they are doing such incredible work for young, female songwriters in and visiting Nashville. They’re doing some really, really impressive work and the community they’ve built is so strong. I feel very lucky to be part of it, even in a really small way and from such a long way away.
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These girls. All incredible, all lovely, and all so special. I said this during the show but I wanted to say it here too: there was a moment when I looked around and I thought, “I’m drowning in talent.” But then I thought, “No, I’m swimming in talent.” It was a bit of an epiphany. As singers, as songwriters, and as women, we’re constantly compared and pitched against each other and after a while that seeps into your brain. So this show was a real reality check. What they can do doesn’t diminish me and what I can do doesn’t diminish them. I’ve always loved @songsuffragette for their mission statement but last night, it all clicked into place. We can exist in a highly competitive industry and still support each other. It is possible. #letthegirlsplay
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This list could go on for a pretty long time – I’m tempted to list every creative I know who is working hard and making beautiful things – so I’ll stop there but before I go, I want to give a short series of shout outs to some of my friends who are just badass creatives (several of whom I’ve mentioned before): Luce Barka, Francesca Morris, Charlotte Black and her platform Self Love London, Foxgluvv, and Tragic Sasha. The list was just getting too long but I wanted to mention them because they all really are amazing.
Category: book, favourites Tagged: aislin evans, annerb, artist, betsy lane, caitlyn siehl, charlotte black, deerful, each for equal, eachforequal, fanfiction, female creatives, foxgluvv, francesca morris, friends, gender equality, international women's days 2020, international womens day, isobel anderson, iwd, iwd2020, laura greenway, laura zocca, liberty's mother, lois de silva, luce barka, musician, NADINE, rosie powell, self love london, song suffragettes, songwriter, songwriting, the female guy musician, tragic sasha, write like a girl
Posted on February 15, 2020
January was tough. A lot of difficult things happened. Normally, I wouldn’t do a monthly round up but there were several things this month that I didn’t think would get properly acknowledged (in my yearly review or otherwise) if I didn’t. So here’s January 2020 and it’s highs and lows…
(Luce Barka performing ‘Be More Kind’ – a very beautiful, meaningful song.)
“I’m so, so excited to announce that the music video for ‘Clarity’ will be coming out Friday 7th February! @rsandersonphoto and I had such so much fun shooting this and there’s a pretty cool surprise in there so we hope you love it as much as we do!” (x)
So that was January. Yeah, 2020 – the new decade – began on a very stressful and sad note. I’m thankful for the moments of light.
Category: animals, anxiety, autism, death, emotions, event, favourites, food, meltdowns, mental health, music, university, writing Tagged: 30 day challenge, 30dayfeb, asd, assessment, assessments, autism, autism spectrum disorder, baby loss, baby loss awareness, bad night, bbc introducing, bbc introducing south, befries, bereavement, cheer, clarity, clarity music video, disabled student allowance, dog, dsa, dsa assessment, election, england, exams, favourite music, friend, friends, gig, grammys, grammys 2020, halsey, honest, honest ep, loss, lover, luce barka, luce barka music, manic, masters, masters degree, masters degree in songwriting, meltdown, meltdowns, mindfulness, music, my music, natalie hemby, netflix, origami, pet, presentation, radio, richard marc, richard marc music, sara bareilles, she used to be mine, show, songwriting, spotify, stress, taylor swift, tommy's, track of the day, uk, university, waitress the musical, wellbeing
Posted on January 18, 2020
Now that I’ve finished my assessments, I thought it might be an interesting idea to sit down and write about my experience of the first semester of my Masters Degree. Because I’m doing it part time (mainly to protect my mental health), I’m only doing one module rather than two, which is what the full-timers do. The module I did was called ‘Creative Process’ and it was four hours of uni time, a two hour seminar where we talked about different areas of the creative process and then a two hour workshop where we played the songs we’d written based on the ideas and concepts we’d talked about the week before. It was a really interesting module and I wish my mental health had been better so that I could’ve focussed and enjoyed it more.
I feel really lucky when it came to my group and my tutor.
My group was only about nine people (when the other groups were much larger as far as I know) and they were all absolutely lovely. We were all really different, both musically and life experience wise (but I guess that’s what happens when you get to Masters level), which was really interesting when it came to writing and socialising and… just everything. It was a completely new experience and one that I’m really grateful for. Up until now, I’ve mostly been surrounded by people my own age with similar experiences.
Everyone was so, so good, all in their own way. They all had their own style (some had particularly beautiful musical signatures, some wrote from interesting perspectives with thoughtful lyrics, and so on) and it was so interesting and exciting to see how they developed over the semester. We were and I know will continue to be so supportive of each other’s music and development as songwriters. It always felt safe to bring in something I felt unsure or insecure about and the feedback was always constructive and because the person wanted you to get better; I never once felt like someone was being mean or looking down on me. It was such a supportive atmosphere and I’m so grateful because I think that was a huge part of what helped me to grow so much as a writer.
I made two really good friends in particular, both of whom I’m still in the same group with to my absolute delight. They’re truly beautiful souls. One of them, Luce Barka, wrote this amazing song during the semester and has said she’s happy for me to share it with you guys. I really, really recommend it…
I also had a fantastic tutor, Isobel. She’s a really cool, independent singersongwriter, which I think made her an especially good teacher because she’s very immersed in the industry we’re all trying to get into, in her own, distinctive way. She’s also dealt with serious health problems (which she has talked about publicly so I’m not breaking her confidence or anything) so I felt like she was a really good tutor, especially for me. She understood, or had a kind of understanding, of what I deal with. She was a really, really great tutor, in discussions and when giving and guiding feedback. But for me personally – and this is my blog after all – she was incredible when it came to helping me manage the course against all of my issues. When my anxiety was overwhelming, she helped me adjust the tasks to make them easier while still allowing me to do the task and learn the skills. I am massively appreciative of how accommodating and generous and kind she was, even before she received the Student Support Agreement (the document with all my information and recommendations).
Anyway, she was amazing. I learned so much, obviously from the course but also from the way she delivered it and the feedback she gave me. I feel like I’ve grown so much as a writer and I feel like she’s a really big part of that. Plus, I’ve never had a teacher who was so understanding, who helped without hesitation, with just my word to guide her. I can’t properly express how much I appreciate that. It’s never happened to me before and it felt so wonderful to be treated as if it was something you just do, rather than being made to feel like a burden or an obstacle to be manoeuvred. So, as much as I learned (and I learned a lot), that is what I’m most grateful for and one of the things that I will always remember about this semester.
The first few weeks were really, really tough. After my massive meltdown in Victoria station, I was having meltdowns every day (as I wrote about here), which was having a big impact on my mental and emotional health, also leaving me physically exhausted. That significant meltdown was triggered by an email from the Disability Coordinator (who was also an Autism Specialist), suggesting a very last minute change of plan for our scheduled meeting which still leaves me bewildered. As an autistic person, sudden changes of plan are known to be highly problematic. That, plus my existing anxiety, caused a massive meltdown that took a very long time to recover from. And it left me feeling less than confident in her ability to support me even though we had had a positive first meeting and I had left feeling cautiously optimistic that this time it might be different. It then didn’t improve as actions promised at that meeting didn’t get done, leading to more meltdowns. So that was a real complication and painful part of the semester.
Having said all of that, I loved the classes. We learned about songcraft, collaborating, imposter syndrome, professional practice, perfectionism, and so much more. It was fascinating and fun and the briefs, while often stressful (with only a week to write the song), were interesting and challenging. I wrote some songs that I’m really proud of and I feel like my songwriting grew a lot because the briefs were challenging.
We watched this video in one of the classes and I thought it was really good so I thought I’d share it:
I loved it – loved getting better at songwriting – even the bits that pushed me and made me feel uncomfortable.
However, out of class was another matter. We were expected to do research that would later become the foundations of our assessment essay and presentation. Except whenever I asked, they wouldn’t tell me what the assessment entailed and just said it was ‘self directed learning’ so I didn’t know what I was actually researching, which caused me terrible anxiety. I created a reading list of books, articles, and interviews about creativity and songwriting but as hard as I tried to do the work, my OCD – my need to write everything down – battled against it. And usually won. So if I wasn’t writing, I was reading. I had no downtime. I was constantly anxious, like, end-of-the-world-anxious. And I felt like I was failing.
They explained the essay and presentation in the last couple of weeks but I still didn’t really understand. The language was complicated and vague and while I understood the general idea, the grading criteria was pretty ambiguous. I didn’t know what I had to do specifically to get good grades. I need clarity. It was incredibly stressful.
It took a couple of last minute meetings with my module leader to really understand what was expected of me but I was now facing a myriad of problems. The research I had been doing had little relevance to the subject I was writing about so I’d have to redo all of that, as well as actually write the essay and prepare the presentation. Plus we were in the final two weeks of the semester and the university would soon be closed for the Christmas holidays so I would have no way of contacting anyone for any support. I was wound so tight I felt like my spine might snap. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I’m really grateful for those meetings but I just wish the assessment had been clearer earlier in the module so the research I was doing could’ve been more focussed. With all the problems associated with Autism, like chronic fatigue and chronic pain, time is something I have to be incredibly thoughtful about.
I worked every day of the entire holiday (apart from Christmas Day, which I spent with my family – something I don’t often get to do) but the assessments were always in my head so I felt like I couldn’t take a break or have any time to rest and recharge. I still didn’t feel sure that I was doing it right but still, I worked hard on it and gave it everything I had. I finished both the essay and the presentation with time to spare, allowing myself time to redraft and prepare, giving myself the best chance of doing well. I submitted the essay, despite big technical problems with the system, and I did my presentation to the best of my ability, despite finding presentations incredibly difficult. Now I just have to wait for the marks.
Now, having run through the whole semester (and having reflected a lot on the difficulties), I just wanted to share a couple of specific, positive experiences:
Overall, it was a very mixed bag. The good moments were great and made me feel amazing. I got a lot out of it. But I spent a lot – A LOT – of the semester in crippling anxiety and I had a lot of meltdowns. It was fucking hard. And the marks haven’t even come back yet. I’m terrified that I’ve done horribly. But I’m trying not to think about it. I’m just trying to get through this new semester. Which may be even more stressful than the last.
Category: anxiety, autism, holidays, meltdowns, mental health, music, ocd, university, video Tagged: anxiety, asd, assessment, assessments, autism, autism spectrum disorder, autistic, christmas, christmas holiday, creative process, elizabeth gilbert, essay, first semester, i'm with you, luce barka, masters degree, masters degree in songwriting, meltdown, meltdowns, mental health, mental illness, perfectionism, presentation, research, review, semester, songcraft, songwriters, songwriting, student support agreement, tedtalk, tutor, university, video
Hi! I’m Lauren Alex Hooper. Welcome to my little blog! I write about living with Autism Spectrum Disorder, as well as several mental health issues. I’m a singersongwriter so I’ll probably write a bit about that too.
My first single, ‘Invisible,’ is now available on iTunes and Spotify, with all proceeds going to Young Minds.
My second single, ‘Bad Night,’ is also now available on all platforms and is the first track from my new EP, ‘Honest.’