Posted on April 17, 2021
I’ve been thinking a lot about growth recently. I’ve been thinking about my own personal, emotional, and creative growth but also about growth in general, how we’re growing and changing all the time, due to both external and internal influences. And as I often do whenever turning over thoughts like these ones, I went looking for quotes. They help me make sense of my thoughts and prompt new avenues of thought. So I thought I’d share some of the quotes I found during some of my musings…
“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” – Abraham Maslow
“We can’t become what we need to be by remaining what we are.” – Oprah Winfrey
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou
“Be patient with yourself. You are growing stronger every day. The weight of the world will become lighter… and you will begin to shine brighter. Don’t give up.” – Robert Tew
“Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still.” – Chinese Proverb
“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” – Carl Bard
“We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.” – Rick Warren
“Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment.” – Stephen Covey
“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.” – Anais Nin
“Rocks in my path? I keep them all. With them I shall build my castle.” – Nemo Nox
“I saw my earlier selves as different people, acquaintances I had outgrown. I wondered how I could ever have been some of them.” – Roger Zelazny
“Catch on fire if you must, sometimes everything needs to burn to the ground so that we may grow.” – A.J. Lawless
“Transitions are almost always signs of growth but they can bring feelings of loss. To get somewhere new, we may have to leave somewhere else behind.” – Fred Rogers
“Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the known to the unknown.” – George Shinn
“Life is all about growth and change. It’s not static. It’s not about some destination.” – Bill Burnett
“Always realize that you can get better. Your best work has not been done yet.” – Les Brown
“You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one.” – Henry David Thoreau
“Learn all you can from the mistakes of others. You won’t have time to make them all yourself.” – Alfred Sheinwold
“If a mistake is not a stepping stone, it is a mistake.” – Eli Siegel
“People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates.” – Thomas Szasz
“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.” – Alan Alda
“Never mind searching for who you are. Search for the person you aspire to be.” – Robert Brault
“If you don’t get lost, there’s a chance you may never be found.” – Author Unknown
“Learning how to operate a soul figures to take time.” – Timothy Leary
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” – Anna Quindlen
“Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes.” – Hugh Prather
“There is an eternal landscape, a geography of the soul; we search for its outlines all our lives.” – Josephine Hart
“Living is being born slowly. It would be a little too easy if we could borrow ready-made souls.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
“Real birthdays are not annual affairs. Real birthdays are the days when we have a new birth.” – Ralph Parlette
“Readjusting is a painful process, but most of us need it at one time or another.” – Arthur Christopher Benson
“Growth is the only evidence of life.” – John Henry Newman
“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.” – Douglas Adams
Hopefully this selection of quotes has been inspiring. Inspiring rather than pressuring. Yes, growth is important but that doesn’t mean we have to strive for at it all times. Rest and the ability to be still are important too. As the quote goes, “There is literally nothing in nature that blooms all year long, so do not expect yourself to do so.” (I can’t find a reliable source for this quote so let me know if you see it attributed to someone.) We want and need different things at different times. But, if you’re ever in need of a little inspiration, this post will be here.
Posted on March 13, 2021
As of today, I have been self isolating for a whole year. 365 days. In that time, I’ve probably left the house no more than twenty times: for one morning of work (that had to be done out while the rest I’ve been able to do from home), for medical appointments, for swimming/hydrotherapy. And a haircut (when my Trichotillomania was particularly bad) during a period when it was considered safe to have one. But other than that, as a vulnerable person, I’ve stayed home. I worked out the numbers and that means I’ve spent 95% of the last year in my house. I look at that number and it kind of blows my mind. I’ve always been a homebody but this is so not the same thing.
So, to acknowledge the occasion, I thought I’d make a post about it. I thought about doing a list of good things and bad things, but given that the year has been dominated by the pandemic, that just felt wrong. Like, in general, it feels like the bad things carry so much more weight; a list like that just didn’t feel like an appropriate way to look at the last year. So, instead I thought I’d make a list of some of the things I’ve learned this year. There have been so many new experiences, new approaches to everyday tasks, new thoughts, new emotions, and so on. So I thought that might be a better way of looking at things. I doubt I’ll remember everything but I’ll give it a go.
As I said, I’m sure there are more things that I’ve learned during this time but I think that these are all of the big ones, the big, personal ones. I’m included in the group currently being vaccinated (although I’ve yet to hear anything) so maybe I will be heading out a little more often once that happens, if only to get some more exercise. But to be honest, given how this last year has affected my mental health, I don’t think I’m going to be exactly quick to adjust to the idea that things are somewhat safer (the government certainly seems to think so, what with their plan to come out of lockdown). As desperate as I am to see my friends and family again and get back to swimming again, I don’t think I’m going to feel safe again for a long time: as I said, I don’t cope well with change.
Category: about me, anxiety, autism, body image, covid-19 pandemic, diagnosis, emotions, life lessons, mental health, music, therapy, treatment, trichotillomania, university Tagged: adjustment, asd, autism, autism spectrum disorder, autistic, autistic adult, change, community, coronavirus, covid-19, covid-19 vaccine, diagnoses, diagnosis, essential workers, family, fear, friends, friendship, frontline workers, grateful, gratitude, hand sanitiser, health, helping, independent artist, learning, lessons, lessons learned, lockdown, mental health, mental health in lockdown, multiple diagnoses, online classes, online learning, online study, online therapy, online university, pandemic, pandemic 2020, planning, remote therapy, remote writing session, routine, self isolating, sensory, society, structure, swimming, therapy, uncertainty, unity, unsigned artist, vaccine
Posted on December 6, 2020
A couple of weeks ago, I got to speak on a panel at a conference run by UniversitiesUK about how COVID-19 is affecting the mental health of students in higher education and it was a really cool experience. So, now that the whole process and experience is over, I thought I’d write up what happened and why it felt like such a special experience.
A few months ago now, someone from UniversitiesUK contacted me after reading this blog, specifically the post I wrote about my first week back at university and doing it in the middle of a pandemic. She asked me if I would be interested in being part of the conference and speak on a panel about how to support autistic students in coping with all the changes to their education experience, drawing from both my experience of doing a BA pre-pandemic and doing an MA during the pandemic. I said yes straight away; I was excited by the idea that my experiences as an autistic person could help others, both autistic people and those in universities trying their best to support autistic students. So often – at this point in my life anyway – it feels like my Autism hinders my life, so it always feels like a big deal when it’s the cause of something good or provides me with an opportunity to have a positive impact.
Before the conference, there were a handful of online meetings where, first and foremost, I got to meet the other panelists: Jonathan Vincent (Senior Lecturer at York St John University and Autism Researcher), Eilidh Cage (Lecturer at University of Stirling and Autism Researcher), and Marc Fabri (Senior Lecturer at Leeds Beckett University, Autism Researcher, and Project Lead for IMAGE). They were all really lovely and working with them was a really positive experience for me. It was a bit of a challenge to figure out how we were going to deliver all of the information we felt was important to share without overwhelming the attendees. Between our meetings we collaborated on a powerpoint presentation and then met up again (online obviously) to refine things and make sure we weren’t missing anything.
On the morning of the panel, we met early for a quick technical rehearsal, since we were using a different platform than the one we’d been using for our meetings. All went smoothly but just as we were signing off, we got an email from Marc, letting us know that unfortunately he wouldn’t be able to be there. So there was a bit of a last minute scramble to figure out how best to share his contribution with the attendees, despite it being his field of expertise and not ours. I’m grateful that that didn’t fall to me, having no experience in the area of employability of autistic graduates.
I’ve never really done anything like this (the closest experience is probably being a guest at a conference where I briefly shared a project relevant to the talk that I’d worked on) so I admit I was pretty nervous when all the conference attendees started logging into our breakout room. But despite my anxiety, the whole thing went well, even though we did go over our allotted time. And that was with only the three of us!
It was really interactive so there were polls and questions for the attendees to respond to, plus the chat where they could ask questions, although we did have a Q&A set up for the end of the presentation. We went through the panels, taking turns to speak about what Autism is, the disclosure numbers in Higher Education, research into into how autistic people often struggle with uncertainty and change…
And then it was my turn (although I had spoken a bit during previous slides). My first slide was about my experience of how COVID-19 has affected me as an autistic student and the challenges I’ve been faced with. I’d put together what I felt were the most significant examples:
All of our strategies that have been built over time no longer apply and there has been no time to develop new ones.
My second slide was about what I’ve found to be helpful or what I would find helpful during this time, considering all of the uncertainty and anxiety. They’re actually all ideas that would be helpful generally but since many autistic students are struggling even more than usual, these things are all the more important.
(This wasn’t all on the slide, by the way. The headers were on the slide and the rest were my notes for expanding on those headers in order to provide as much clarity and insight as I could.)
I shared this slide with Eilidh and she described what she’d found to be helpful with autistic students, going on to share some of the research she’d done into some of the causes of autistic students dropping out of higher education (obviously done pre-COVID but still very relevant – many of those issues, such as lack of understanding, still exist regardless of the pandemic). But it was really interesting to see how much our experiences of what has been helping overlapped.
The Q&A section was a bit scary, given that I didn’t know what the questions might be and so couldn’t prepare for them. I didn’t want to say something and then realise later that it was bad advice. But it actually went okay. I got a couple of questions but there was one that really stuck out to me. One of the attendees asked me about the situation of many autistic students wanting to remain online – in environments where they were comfortable, without the anxiety of potentially confusing social interactions, not have to deal with the exhaustion that days at university can cause, and so on – even once it’s safe to return to university as normal. She wanted to know, from my experience, whether that’s a good idea. I can certainly understand that. But in the long run, personally, I don’t think it’s a good approach. Every autistic student is different, of course, and will have different needs but I think that the experience of university is a really important one. It definitely was for me. So I think it comes down to supporting these students through the process of either joining or rejoining university. Depending on the student, this could involve visits when there are as few people around as possible, one-to-one meetings with lecturers or tutors as a first step to going to classes, doing certain classes (perhaps the smaller ones) in person and doing others online in a blended set up, encouraging them to do as much as they feel able to (and depending on the student, pushing just past the point of comfort if that feels possible) but allowing them to leave if they feel it’s too much, and just slowly building up to the full experience, as the specific student feels able to. It reminds me of the Māori word, ‘Takiwātanga,’ which translates into ‘his or her own time and space’ (devised by Keri Opai). So hopefully that was a helpful answer.
It was a really, really great experience. The feedback I’ve had has been really positive and I learned a lot too; the whole experience was really rewarding. I’m so grateful to UniversitiesUK for inviting me to be a part of it. I would love to do more events like this in the future. I felt like I was actually helping people, something that’s always been important to me regardless of my Autism. And on a more personal note, having spent a lot of time feeling helpless (as well as being a person who often needs a lot of help), it was so empowering to turn something that can be so debilitating into something positive and useful.
Again, I want to extend my thanks to UniversitiesUK, Jonathan, Eilidh, and Marc (although he couldn’t be there on the day) for making my first conference such a positive experience.
Category: anxiety, autism, covid-19 pandemic, mental health, research, tips, university Tagged: asd, autism, autism research, autism spectrum disorder, autism support, autistic, autistic adult, autistic student, change, conference, disability support, eilidh cage, jonathan vincent, lockdown, lockdown 2.0, lockdown 2020, marc fabri, online classes, online learning, online university, pandemic, pandemic 2020, pandemic anxiety, panel, support, uncertainty, universitiesuk, university, university support
Hi! I’m Lauren Alex Hooper. Welcome to my little blog! I write about living with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), ADHD (Inattentive Type), and Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS), as well as several mental health issues.
I’m a singer-songwriter (it’s my biggest special interest and I have both a BA and MA in songwriting) so I’ll probably write a bit about that too.
My first single, ‘Invisible,’ is on all platforms, with all proceeds going to Young Minds.
My debut EP, Honest, is available on all platforms, with a limited physical run at Resident Music in Brighton.
I’m currently working on an album about my experiences as an autistic woman.