Posted on May 7, 2022
While I do want to share some more in-depth posts this month, I wanted to post a few different things since different things are helpful and interesting. So, for my first post of Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month, here are some quotes about BPD, ranging from scientific explanations to emotional descriptions.
“I’m so good at beginnings, but in the end I always seem to destroy everything, including myself.” – Kiera Van Gelder
“Accepting a psychiatric diagnosis is like a religious conversion. It’s an adjustment in cosmology, with all its accompanying high priests, sacred texts, and stories of religion. And I am, for better or worse, an instant convert.” – Kiera Van Gelder
“To a large degree, a particular collision of genes and temperament with a suboptimal or hostile environment may explain the development of borderline personality disorder.” – Dolores Mosquera
“Most of the time, BPD arises from complex trauma and attachment wounds in childhood, and the symptoms of BPD are just defence mechanisms that protect these old wounds. For example, a person with BPD frantically avoids abandonment by shapeshifting to become who others want them to be, instead of who they truly are. They may also over-identify with painful emotions in an attempt to get other people to show them love and attention because this is the only way they received it in the past. They sometimes self-sabotage because they have a deep sense of shame that causes them to believe that they will fail, be left by others, and they would rather these happen on their terms, rather than blindsiding them.” – Hailey Shafir
“It is important to remember that those who are experiencing Borderline Personality Disorder come from a background of perceived or real chaos, abandonment, and other trauma in their childhood. As a result, their internal dialogue usually consists of, ‘I am not worthy of love,’ ‘People I love will leave me,’ or ‘I can’t trust anyone.’ As a result, when these persons become adults, their internal dialogue affects every aspect of their lives but is especially amplified in relationships. They learned early on to trust chaos in their families of origin. Therefore, they don’t trust peaceful situations or healthy relationships. This is why people with BPD are known for being ‘needy,’ ‘dramatic,’ ‘troublemakers,’ etc. They are following their internalized dialogue and consequently creating the one thing they fear: being abandoned and alone.” – Keischa Pruden
“In the life cycle of an intense emotion, if it isn’t acted upon, it eventually peaks and then decreases. But as Dr. Linehan explains, people with BPD have a different physiological experience with this process because of three key biological vulnerabilities: First, we’re highly sensitive to emotional stimuli (meaning we experience social dynamics, the environment, and our own inner states with an acuteness similar to having exposed nerve endings). Second, we respond more intensely and much more quickly, than other people. And third, we don’t ‘come down’ from our emotions for a long time. Once the nerves have been touched, the sensations keep peaking. Shock waves of emotion that might pass through others in minutes keep cresting in us for hours, sometimes days.” – Kiera Van Gelder
“Owing to a poorly defined sense of self, people with BPD rely on others for their feelings of worth and emotional caretaking. So fearful are they of feeling alone that they may act in desperate ways that quite frequently bring about the very abandonment and rejection they’re trying to avoid.” – Kimberlee Roth
“To stave off the panic associated with the absence of a primary object, borderline patients frequently will impulsively engage in behaviors that numb the panic and establish contact with and control over some new object.” – Christine Ann Lawson
“I don’t know what it’s like to not have deep emotions, even when I feel nothing, I feel it completely.” – A. R. Asher
“Imagine all the strongest emotions you have ever felt in your life: anger, hopelessness, rage, embarrassment, regret, lust, fear… Imagine that most days you feel forced to experience all of those in quick succession. How might one react to this? Dissociation in order to escape? Self-harm to bring about a strong physical stimulus to briefly replace these emotions? Thoughts of suicide? Feelings of worthlessness or wondering ‘what is wrong with me?’ and ‘why am I not worthy of loving relationships?’ Feeling the need to quickly exit relationships before people find out the ‘real you’? Finding relief and closeness in intense but brief sexual encounters? Rapidly and repeatedly changing identity in order to find a way to escape? This is the heart of BPD and common reactions people suffering from BPD have to everyday situations.” – Dr. Nicolas Sikaczowski
“There weren’t as many layers between her and the world as there were with the rest of us.” – Renée Knight
“My skin is so thin that the innocent words of others burn holes right through me.” – Unknown
“People with BPD are like people with third degree burns over ninety percent of their bodies. Lacking emotional skin, they feel agony at the slightest touch or movement.” – Marsha Linehan
“A borderline suffers a kind of emotional hemophilia; [s]he lacks the clotting mechanism needed to moderate [his or her] spurts of feeling. Stimulate a passion, and the borderline emotionally bleeds to death.” – Jerold Kreisman and Hal Straus
“I’ve grown up with an ethic, call it a part, that insists I hide my pain at all costs. As I talk, I feel this pain leaking out – not just the core symptom of BPD, but all the years of being blamed or ignored for my condition, and all the years I’ve blamed others for how I am. It’s the pain of being told I was too needy even as I could never get the help I needed.” – Kiera Van Gelder
“I couldn’t trust my own emotions. Which emotional reactions were justified, if any? And which ones were tainted by the mental illness of BPD? I found myself fiercely guarding and limiting my emotional reactions, chastising myself for possible distortions and motivations. People who had known me years ago would barely recognise me now. I had become quiet and withdrawn in social settings, no longer the life of the party. After all, how could I know if my boisterous humour was spontaneous or just a borderline desire to be the centre of attention? I could no longer trust any of my heartfelt beliefs and opinions on politics, religion, or life. The debate queen had withered. I found myself looking at every single side of an issue unable to come to any conclusions for fear they might be tainted. My lifelong ability to be assertive had turned into a constant state of passivity.” – Rachel Reiland
“This crack in your façade can be the first glimpse you have had to your real self. Ironically, your newly experienced vulnerability – the feeling that you are now exposed for all the world to see, that your weaknesses are now visible – is the very thing that can save you.” – Merri Lisa Johnson
“Certainly, it’s important to acknowledge and identify the effects of BPD on your life. It’s equally important to realize that it neither dictates who you are nor fixes your destiny.” – Kimberlee Roth
“I still get very high and very low in life. Daily. But I’ve finally accepted the fact that sensitive is just how I was made, that I don’t have to hide it and I don’t have to fix it. I’m not broken.” – Glennon Doyle Melton
These were surprisingly hard to find so if you know of any more, please let me know!
Category: bpd, mental health, quotes Tagged: borderline personality disorder, borderline personality disorder awareness, borderline personality disorder awareness month, bpd, bpd awareness, bpd awareness month, personality disorder, personality disorders, quiet borderline, quiet borderline personality disorder, quiet bpd, quotes
Posted on March 5, 2022
A few days ago, I was out and I saw my first crocuses of the year! I know, I’m very late – I haven’t been going out much recently – but it’s one of my favourite moments of spring. The first crocuses, the first snowdrops, the first daffodils… I love it. So I thought I’d share some quotes about spring as it seems that spring has really, finally joined us…
“‘Is the spring coming?’ he said. ‘What is it like?’ […] ‘It is the sun shining on the rain and the rain falling on the sunshine…'” – Francis Hodgson Burnett
“Spring will come and so will happiness. Hold on. Life will get warmer.” – Anita Krizzan
“No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn.” – Hal Borland
“In winter, I plot and plan. In spring, I move.” – Henry Rollins
“The flowers of late winter and early spring occupy places in our hearts well out of proportion to their size.” – Gertrude Smith Wister
“Spring triumphs over winter (he always lets her win).” – Terri Guillemets
“You can cut all the flowers, but you cannot keep spring from coming.” – Pablo Neruda
“I hear the passing echoes of winter and feel the warming springtime sun.” – Terri Guillemets
“The sun has come out… and the air is vivid with spring light.” – Byron Caldwell Smith
“Hope sleeps in our bones like a bear waiting for spring to rise and walk.” – Marge Piercy
“The first wild-flower of the year is like land after sea.” – Thomas Wentworth Higginson
“The first blooms of spring always make my heart sing.” – S. Brown
“Spring translates earth’s happiness into colourful flowers.” – Terri Guillemets
“The earth laughs in flowers.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“The deep roots never doubt spring will come.” – Marty Rubin
“Deep in their roots, all flowers keep the light.” – Theodore Roethke
“You are reborn with the roses, in every spring.” – Juan Ramón Jiménez
“Flowers rewrite soil, water, and sunshine into petal’d poetry.” – Terri Guillemets
“Flowers don’t worry about how they’re going to bloom. They just open up and turn toward the light and that makes them beautiful.” – Jim Carrey
“Spring: a reminder of how beautiful change can truly be.” – Unknown
“Spring: the music of open windows.”– Terri Guillemets
“Spring is the time of plans and projects.” ― Leo Tolstoy
While spring brings with it a lot of wild weather – wind, rain, grey skies – it also brings colour and freshness and a sense of change and momentum. I love the change of seasons; I love the possibility and hope associated with that change. I’m cautiously hopeful about what this spring holds.
Do you have any quotes that you associate with spring?
Posted on December 11, 2021
I had intended to post a different blog today. I’ve been working on a companion to my folklore post – for sister album, evermore – and had hoped to post it today for the one year anniversary of it’s release but I’ve been so unwell over the last month – the side effects of my new ADHD medication have been brutal – that I just haven’t been able to finish it. I have a good chunk of it done so I’d like to finish and post it at some point but I guess we’ll see. I still wanted to post though and this is what I had finished. So I hope you enjoy these quotes (here’s part one and two, if you’re interested) and hopefully writing will start to feel easier soon.
“A painting is never finished – it simply stops in interesting places.” – Paul Gardner
“You wind up creating from silence, like painting a picture on a blank canvas that could bring tears to somebody’s eyes. As songwriters, our blank canvas is silence.” – Rodney Atkins
“Hearing about a visual artist’s approach can change the way you think about songwriting.” – St. Lucia
“When you don’t write songs for a while there’s a fear you won’t be able to do it again.” – Tim Wheeler
“Write until you can’t write anymore.” – Billie Myers
“If you’ve got a really strong concept, then it’s easy to write. Whereas if you’re not sure what the true story is, it’s bloody hard.” – Shelly Poole
“Often the simplest song is the hardest to write.” – Patti Smith
“All of my acoustic playing came from my songwriting. All of the chords I’ve learned and all of the voicings I play them in are a direct result of composing.” – Mat Kearney
“I don’t think about commercial concerns when I first come up with something. When I sit down at the piano, I try to come up with something that moves me.” – Lamont Dozier
“My task as an artist is to stay as close as I can to my own essence.” – Trixie Whitley
“A song is an ever-changing, ever-evolving and morphing thing.” – Simon Tong
“My songwriting has evolved, just as I’ve evolved as a person.” – John Oates
“I write about what I know and what I’ve experienced. That’s the only way it can be real to me. I love songwriting. There is something so satisfying in coming up with an idea and turning it into a song that means something to people…” – Aaron Tippin
“Songwriting is such an intricate part of me as an artist and as a person; I couldn’t just let someone else do it.” – Shakira
“It doesn’t stop. It really doesn’t stop. It’s the way I live every single day. I don’t do anything else. I have no other interest other than music. At all.” – Steven Morrissey
“No one can attack you when you’re songwriting; it’s you and a song, which is a great place to be.” – Gin Wigmore
“People haven’t always been there for me but music always has.” – Taylor Swift
“Songwriting is a great release. It helps me work through things.” – Jo Dee Messina
“I’ve always used songwriting as a way to help me organise reality.” – Jason Mraz
“You need to work at the craft of songwriting, but not only the craft. When I see people working both on themselves and the craft, and they combine those things… I just go, ‘That’s just fabulous.'” – Fred Eaglesmith
“Music is energy, emotion, expression, escapism, enlightenment. Music is so much more than just entertainment.” – Rasheed Ogunlaru
“I write a song because I want to. I think the moment you start writing it to make money, you’re starting to kill yourself artistically.” – Pete Seeger
“Something good happened to my writing when I stopped being afraid to do something simple, for the fear that people might think I couldn’t do something more complex. Don’t be confused by the word simple. Simple is not easy, it is clear voiced, and fearlessly elegant.” – Carrie Newcomer
“I always saw songwriting as the top of the heap. No matter what else you were going to do creatively – and there were a lot of choices – writing songs was king.” – Jakob Dylan
“Every musician out there wants to be judged on the merit of their songwriting, the merit of their performing abilities.” – Laura Jane Grace
“Nothing can stop a great song, so just keep songwriting.” – Manika
“Songwriting is the way of perpetual want. Songwriters are the blessed/cursed people. You will never have a moment’s peace in your life. You will always be wanting the next song.” – Jon Stewart
“Closed in a room, my imagination becomes the universe, and the rest of the world is missing out.” – Criss Jami
“You’re never quite sure where the song is going, because you might not find the word to rhyme with the end of the line. You have to find associative meaning to get you there. So it’s rather like doing a crossword puzzle backwards. A kind of strange, three-dimensional, abstract crossword puzzle.” – Annie Lennox
“Creativity is the greatest rebellion in existence.” – Osho
I hope these have been inspiring and thought-provoking. I’m always looking for more quotes so if you have any that you love, about anything, please stick them in the comments!
Hi! I’m Lauren Alex Hooper. Welcome to my little blog! I write about living with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), ADHD (Inattentive Type), and Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS), as well as several mental health issues.
I’m a singer-songwriter (it’s my biggest special interest and I have both a BA and MA in songwriting) so I’ll probably write a bit about that too.
My first single, ‘Invisible,’ is on all platforms, with all proceeds going to Young Minds.
My debut EP, Honest, is available on all platforms, with a limited physical run at Resident Music in Brighton.
I’m currently working on an album about my experiences as an autistic woman.