Autism Dogs – Family Training and Public Access (Second Attempt)

In early April, two months after my new Assistance Dog, Daisy, moved in, one of the trainers from the Autism Dogs farm, Julia, came down to do the Family Training and Public Access work that I hadn’t been able to do back in February. It was split into two sessions over two days and at the end of the second day, Daisy would be fully qualified and my official Autism Assistance Dog. That was both exciting and nerve-wracking – to start going out into the world together as a team – but, as nervous as I was, I’d always known that this change, while difficult, was happening in order for new, good things to happen. I just had to get through the difficult to the new and good.

The first two months with Daisy were full of ups and downs and I think I spent most of that time feeling stressed and exhausted. It wasn’t bad and I wasn’t regretting her; it was just incredibly overwhelming. It was a big change when I’m not good with change and not only that, it was a big change in the one space where I feel safest and steadiest and suddenly that steadiness had been flipped upside down. My Mum and I were getting used to having two dogs, the dogs were getting used to each other, the cats were more than a little freaked out by Daisy’s size and enthusiasm… It was very stressful. And as much as I reminded myself that all of this would take time and that there was no reason why everything wouldn’t eventually settle, I was still so anxious that I was failing everybody by doing this, by instigating this change. It was very distressing and I don’t think I was prepared – whether I even could be prepared – for it to feel like that. That’s not to say that there weren’t a lot of lovely moments, lots of cuddling and playing and snoozing together. Daisy is the sweetest, gentlest soul (even if she can charge around the house like a horse at times) and she’s so patient, even when Izzy got wildly jealous of Daisy getting even the slightest bit of attention. But based on the time they’d spent together at the Autism Dogs farm, I had always expected the settling of that relationship to take longer than two months. Izzy has always liked to be close, has always been my protector and emotional support fluff, so it was never going to be easy for her to have to share that role. She picked up some of Daisy’s tasks really quickly, which was very funny; it was a bit like she was saying, “See! You don’t need her! I can do all of these things!” They did make progress but I was looking forward to Julia coming down and being able to give us some advice on how to help them bond.

DAY ONE

Before the training days had been scheduled, I’d had a dentist appointment booked for what would be the first day and since that was something we had discussed Daisy accompanying me to once qualified, we decided that that would be a good opportunity to do some of the public access training. We checked with the dental practice and they were happy for us to do that: as a specialist dental clinic, they’re familiar with all kinds of disabilities and accommodations and were both unfazed by the idea of Daisy being present and keen to assist in making the experience easier for me. (I’ve written previously about how they’ve supported me as an autistic person who struggles with seeing a dentist.)

Julia arrived mid-morning and we headed down to the dental practice. We got there early to help both me and Daisy get in sync, settled and focussed. She was amazing: she’s so good at what she does. Once she had her jacket and lead on, she was just in the zone: consistently checking in with me and listening attentively to my instructions. We did some walking up and down the road – mostly to build my confidence, particularly in being able to walk in a straight line and not trip over anything while still keeping my focus on Daisy – and Daisy did well but she did get a little bit too distracted by all of the potential things to sniff so Julia had me adjust her lead so that it runs over her nose, adding a little bit of added pressure. Not all Autism Assistance Dogs need their leads like that but she told me it would just act as an extra reminder that she was working and that she needed to be focussed on me.

Daisy was really good in the waiting room. She seemed to find the new environment a bit distracting but I asked her to do a few of her basic obedience tasks to get her attention back on me and that seemed to help. Refocussed, she was content to just lie on the floor at my feet and wait for her next task. The dentist came and collected us and although I usually would’ve used the lift, we took the opportunity to practice taking the stairs. Daisy has a tendency to launch herself up stairs, like she thinks she needs to propel herself to the top, but when she’s working, she needs to match her pace with me. So Julia had us go very slowly and close together to keep Daisy focussed on me and not on the stairs.

In the room, she was completely unfazed by all of the weird equipment and once I was settled in the chair, she lay down on the floor beside me, more than happy to just keep watch and wait for further instructions. I used to be so terrified of the dentist and it wasn’t until we found the specialist dental clinic – that I was referred to by my GP – that I was able to go consistently again. They’ve been so amazing: they take everything really slowly, explain everything that they’re doing both before and as they do it, consistently check in with me, and give me time to make decisions. I’ve never felt so supported in a medical setting. I still can’t do much more than the basics and I don’t know if Daisy will be able to help me progress with this, or whether it’s always going to be something that I struggle with, but it was definitely reassuring to have her there, to have her in reach for comfort if nothing else. She did really well with the appointment – especially since the last time she’d done public access was over two months before when she was still at the Autism Dogs farm – and I was just so impressed by how calm and collected she was: she was relaxed but absolutely ready to respond if I needed her.

We practiced the stairs again on our way out. It’s definitely going to take practice: she rushes to the next flat space, whether that’s the next floor or a quarter landing – where the staircase changes direction. You can see her eagerness to be on level ground again rise and she forgets herself a little. Maybe it’s the angle of being on stairs or the perceived constant movement that makes her want to get back to the flat… I don’t know but we have plenty of time to work on it and build her confidence with them. Overall though, the appointment and our first public access outing went really well.

The plan for the public access training was to visit three different public spaces so we left the dental clinic and went to a nearby cafe that I know. I don’t go often but it did mean that it wasn’t a completely new environment for me and I knew that there would be something I could eat and drink. Even though it was pretty busy and loud, Daisy wasn’t worried. She lay down on the floor, tucked under the table, and just chilled out, relaxed but alert. We stayed there for a little bit before heading home and that was the end of our public access for the day.

Two outings was enough for me, enough for one day. The third public access thing we wanted to do was a short train trip and I didn’t have the energy to do that as well after the dentist and cafe. I also needed some time to process it all and it felt good to be able to do that before we did our final public access outing. The morning had gone really well and it definitely made me feel a lot more confident about working with Daisy out in the world, which is the idea – it’s always been my hope that Daisy could help me get out more – but it had felt quite difficult to imagine it until we were actually doing it. So that felt really huge and even though I was really tired, I was looking forward to the next day, to the final public access outing and to going over Daisy’s advanced tasks.

DAY TWO

Our second day began with getting Daisy all geared up – her excitement upon seeing her jacket is never not going to be adorable and hilarious – and heading to the train station. The plan was to catch the train out to one of the towns about twenty minutes away and then catch a train back so that Daisy could experience all of the different aspects of train travel, even if it was only for a short trip.

The station wasn’t busy but there were quite a few people around and it’s a big, echo-y space; I didn’t expect Daisy to have any problems and was proved correct when she simply walked calmly beside me and lay down as I handled the ticket machine. It’s a straightforward task that I’ve done hundreds of times but trying to do it while making sure Daisy was doing everything she was supposed to do and making sure I was doing everything I was supposed to do to facilitate her doing her job and staying aware of my surroundings so I didn’t knock into something or someone – all at the same time – is a real challenge. It takes so much mental processing. It’s not surprising to me at all that public access takes so much practice for both dog and handler to feel confident doing it.

Tickets in hand, we headed for the barrier and, somewhat hilariously, passed another assistance dog in training. That gave us all a good giggle but we steered clear so that neither dog would distract the other. We made it through the barrier, up the platform, and onto the train with ease: Daisy didn’t put a foot wrong. Getting into our seats, guiding Daisy ahead of me, was a bit of a challenge – especially since I’m not the most coordinated person in the world – but we managed it and I imagine, with a bit of practice, it will become something we won’t even think about in the future. All in all, she was very calm and unfazed by the whole situation. I was a little more stressed, due to the uncertainty around having Daisy on a train, but the journey was very straightforward and that helped with my anxiety.

We got off at our stop and took the stairs to get to the right platform for the train back, which gave us another opportunity to practice stairs. Man, Daisy is so smart: she was picking up what we were asking of her so quickly and it was amazing to see how quickly she was improving with each practice. It’ll take more time and practice, of course – she wasn’t going to master it in thirty-six hours – but I was so impressed and we heaped praise on her when she managed to stay practically at my ankle during the last section of steps. And she was very patient while I figured out where we had to go to catch our train and handled the lift down like she’d been doing it her whole life.

We had a bit of a wait until our train was due to arrive and I ended up sitting on the ground, side by side with Daisy. I wanted some contact time but I also wasn’t sure how she was going to respond to the trains rushing through the station. Julia wasn’t worried so I wasn’t really worried but I couldn’t relax completely until I saw it for myself. And see it I did: trains sped past, loud and windy, but Daisy was fine. She didn’t bat an eye, relaxed and leaning into me as I stroked her; that was deeply reassuring to me. I’d known, in theory, that doing all of these thing with her would make me feel more confident but up until these two days, it had been an abstract idea and that wasn’t enough to quash my anxieties around it all, especially after the stressful first attempt. Getting to see Daisy’s training in action and getting to actually do it myself was amazing for my confidence and I was surprised by how natural it felt, much more so than I’d ever expected. I hadn’t thought I’d enjoy doing the public access training because I had so much anxiety about it but it ended up being really fun. I am so, so grateful to Autism Dogs for accommodating me and for adapting this part of the training to better fit my needs, for making it possible for me to do the public access training in places that I was already familiar with because I can’t imagine that it would have gone as smoothly in places that I didn’t know and would almost certainly never see again. It was so good for my confidence, more so than any other part of the training, and I know that that is because I was able to do it where I felt safe. I can’t thank Autism Dogs enough for that.

The train ride back was just as smooth and straightforward as the train ride out and Daisy’s behaviour was immaculate; she was making it so easy for me, which I so appreciated. Unfortunately, we did hit an unexpected bump in the road on our way out of the station: we passed a man with a dog (on a lead, thank god), leaving plenty of space between us so that Daisy wasn’t distracted, but this dog suddenly lunged at her, barking its head off, which really spooked her. I am so incredibly glad that we had Julia there to help us manage that interaction; I think that, if I had been on my own the first time something like that happened, I would’ve completely freaked out. But Julia was amazing, staying completely calm and stepping between the two dogs before guiding me and Daisy out of the station before the situation could escalate (once I’d calmed down and could think about it clearly, I realised that the man didn’t even apologise, which I still think was incredibly rude). Once outside, she helped me calm down and check in with Daisy and explained how we could manage a situation like that in the future. She was also very clear that no dog should be behaving that way in public, that it showed a real lack of control from the owner; we were far more likely to meet dogs that were simply curious rather than those who were outwardly aggressive like this one had been. Having said that, it was still definitely good to know how to navigate that scenario should it happen again.

I needed a few minutes to recover from that and I wanted to give Daisy that time too. But it had clearly bothered me a lot more than it had bothered her: by the time we got back to the car, she was calm and back in work mode again. I commend her ability to bounce back; I needed to snuggle up in the backseat with her to really feel better about the whole thing. But other than that, it had been a good public access experience and I didn’t want those last five minutes to take away from the positives of the whole thing. It had been absolutely exhausting though and I have to hope that it will get easier as we practice and as all of the skills become more ingrained.

Back at home, we went through the advanced tasks that we’d selected and that Daisy had been trained to do, including the Deep Pressure Therapy for when I have meltdowns or really overwhelming anxiety. Daisy has been trained to do all of these tasks but we haven’t had much time to do them together so there’s still some stuff to figure out: for example, when she climbs into my lap to get my attention or interrupt specific negative behaviours, she’s heavy and since my hips are prone to subluxing, we’ll need to work on exactly how she sits or lies across my lap so that I don’t have to manage popping my hip back into place at the same time. But she’s such a fast learner and has taken to Deep Pressure Therapy so quickly that I’m sure we’ll be fine; it’ll just take some time to figure out quite how these skills work best for the two of us.

Of course, Izzy wanted to get involved too – god forbid, she not be the centre of attention for more than five minutes – and she kept doing her tricks and the skills she’s picked up from Daisy, as if to prove that she’s just as clever and just as special. It was very funny and very cute and we rewarded her alongside Daisy. She might not be an Assistance Dog but she is such a comfort to me and I feel very lucky to have both of them to support me.

And that was it. Daisy was officially qualified and my fully trained Autism Assistance Dog. The whole process had been going on for such a long time and I’d been thinking (and stressing) about this point for so long that, to finally arrive at it, was amazing but definitely surreal. Over the following days, I took her to a couple of medical appointments and to therapy and she was fantastic during all of those. We even had a little graduation party for her in the garden, an event that I want to dedicate a separate post to. Our partnership was just beginning, and no doubt our adventures together too…

And there you go! We finally made it to the end of Daisy’s training or at least the end of my documentation of it. I do want to make a final post to celebrate Daisy qualifying and by the time that goes up, it will be about a year since she did. And what a rollercoaster of a year it’s been. I have a lot to say about that too. But, for now, I am so beyond grateful for Daisy, for my Mum’s support with her, and for everything Autism Dogs and their team – especially Julia and Caroline – have done for me. It’s been a long, hard road, filled with so much anxiety (and there’s still anxiety at times), but Daisy qualifying was the beginning of a new chapter. And as nervous as I was for that, I was also excited…